Honest question: what is the parent/caregiver’s rationale in letting their child…

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP, this and other inconsiderate actions by parents, is one of the great mysteries I have found in being a nanny. I have no idea what is going through a person’s mind when they allow their child to do things like that. I guess the other kids don’t matter at all to them.

I’m reminded of a post where two mothers let their older kids pull up park flowers by the roots and stick them in the sand box. Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG I have no idea. Maybe they are just afraid and aren't sure what to do? Maybe they aren't very smart and think the other kids can see the book? Maybe the kid is SN and they think he will have a meltdown if the parent corrects him? (Sometimes kids respond much better to other adults than to parents)

How often have you seen this happen?

Pretty much every time (one a week in storytime) and it’s always the librarian who has to stop and ask the kid to sit down.

+1. I’ve seen librarians hold the book way up over their head while the standing kid then started grabbing at the book and the mother did nothing.

Wow. I wonder if they are trying to do gentle parenting but are completely missing the point.

Gentle parenting isn’t about letting your child do something disruptive and unfair to a room full of other children.

PP here and that's what I'm saying. Lots of people confuse gentle parenting for permissive parenting.

Yeah, perhaps. But don’t they care at all about the other kids trying to see the book?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no clue. I posted last week about two large mothers carrying toddlers who walked in front of my toddler and preschooler (we arrived early to see a band perform in the park) and stood there talking to each other while my kids couldn’t see.

Honestly, I have no clue.

Large?

Yes, they were both quite wide. My kids couldn’t see past them even when they stood up.

So far people should have to sit in the back? Why didn't you just move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no clue. I posted last week about two large mothers carrying toddlers who walked in front of my toddler and preschooler (we arrived early to see a band perform in the park) and stood there talking to each other while my kids couldn’t see.

Honestly, I have no clue.

Large?

Yes, they were both quite wide. My kids couldn’t see past them even when they stood up.

So far people should have to sit in the back? Why didn't you just move?

Anyone who comes late should be in the back. But in this case you do not stand right in front of little kids when you know you’ll be blocking their view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no clue. I posted last week about two large mothers carrying toddlers who walked in front of my toddler and preschooler (we arrived early to see a band perform in the park) and stood there talking to each other while my kids couldn’t see.

Honestly, I have no clue.

Large?

Yes, they were both quite wide. My kids couldn’t see past them even when they stood up.

So far people should have to sit in the back? Why didn't you just move?

Anyone who comes late should be in the back. But in this case you do not stand right in front of little kids when you know you’ll be blocking their view.

+1. And any adult who is holding their child should not stand in front of seated people or certainly little kids. They should stand to the side or in the back. Their child is in their arms and can see from anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Just teach your kid to raise his hand and say excuse me I can’t see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just teach your kid to raise his hand and say excuse me I can’t see.

They can't talk yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG I have no idea. Maybe they are just afraid and aren't sure what to do? Maybe they aren't very smart and think the other kids can see the book? Maybe the kid is SN and they think he will have a meltdown if the parent corrects him? (Sometimes kids respond much better to other adults than to parents)

How often have you seen this happen?

Pretty much every time (one a week in storytime) and it’s always the librarian who has to stop and ask the kid to sit down.

+1. I’ve seen librarians hold the book way up over their head while the standing kid then started grabbing at the book and the mother did nothing.

Wow. I wonder if they are trying to do gentle parenting but are completely missing the point.

Gentle parenting isn’t about letting your child do something disruptive and unfair to a room full of other children.

PP here and that's what I'm saying. Lots of people confuse gentle parenting for permissive parenting.

Yeah, perhaps. But don’t they care at all about the other kids trying to see the book?

They do not. As we have learned with perfect clarity over the past two and a half years (and despite any meaningless lip service paid to caring about others), there is a very large subset of people who care about no one but themselves and their own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just teach your kid to raise his hand and say excuse me I can’t see.

Why should they have to do that every week? Why can’t the parent stop checking out and treating the class like Mommy or Daddy’s break time and — oh, I don’t know — actually do their job as a parent?

[Anonymous]

I haven't had to deal with this problem in a few years and the thought of it still stresses me out! I don't get it. I would really like to hear from a mom who allows this.

[Anonymous]

Their child is just. So. Precious!

Everything that child does--the parent is absolutely in awe that their child can do that!

He's so amazing! Doesn't everyone in the world realize how PERFECT their child is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG I have no idea. Maybe they are just afraid and aren't sure what to do? Maybe they aren't very smart and think the other kids can see the book? Maybe the kid is SN and they think he will have a meltdown if the parent corrects him? (Sometimes kids respond much better to other adults than to parents)

How often have you seen this happen?

Pretty much every time (one a week in storytime) and it’s always the librarian who has to stop and ask the kid to sit down.

+1. I’ve seen librarians hold the book way up over their head while the standing kid then started grabbing at the book and the mother did nothing.

Wow. I wonder if they are trying to do gentle parenting but are completely missing the point.

Gentle parenting isn’t about letting your child do something disruptive and unfair to a room full of other children.

PP here and that's what I'm saying. Lots of people confuse gentle parenting for permissive parenting.

Yeah, perhaps. But don’t they care at all about the other kids trying to see the book?

They do not. As we have learned with perfect clarity over the past two and a half years (and despite any meaningless lip service paid to caring about others), there is a very large subset of people who care about no one but themselves and their own kids.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just teach your kid to raise his hand and say excuse me I can’t see.

Just? We’d have to teach him to talk and how to raise his hand at 24 months but thanks for the very helpful suggestion!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG I have no idea. Maybe they are just afraid and aren't sure what to do? Maybe they aren't very smart and think the other kids can see the book? Maybe the kid is SN and they think he will have a meltdown if the parent corrects him? (Sometimes kids respond much better to other adults than to parents)

How often have you seen this happen?

Pretty much every time (one a week in storytime) and it’s always the librarian who has to stop and ask the kid to sit down.

+1. I’ve seen librarians hold the book way up over their head while the standing kid then started grabbing at the book and the mother did nothing.

Wow. I wonder if they are trying to do gentle parenting but are completely missing the point.

Gentle parenting isn’t about letting your child do something disruptive and unfair to a room full of other children.

Maybe it shouldn't be, but in reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just teach your kid to raise his hand and say excuse me I can’t see.

Say it to whom? My 3.5 yr old does raise his hand and tells the kid and the librarian he can’t see the book. The librarian asks the child to sit. The child doesn’t. What’s the librarian supposed to do - physically bend the kid in half and make him sit down?

Stop expecting other people to do your job.