Honest question: what is the parent/caregiver’s rationale in letting their child…

[Anonymous]

I really loathe parents who do this. I have no idea why they do it.

Let me add: carrying on conversations with other mothers in music class and story times and staying on the swings for 20 minutes while other toddlers are waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their child is just. So. Precious!

Everything that child does--the parent is absolutely in awe that their child can do that!

He's so amazing! Doesn't everyone in the world realize how PERFECT their child is?

And they post a picture of it, "Amelia has such compassion for the written word, she's the only toddler who cares about the book at storytime! Love my little bookworm."

Jesus, this is so true!

This is literally it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG I have no idea. Maybe they are just afraid and aren't sure what to do? Maybe they aren't very smart and think the other kids can see the book? Maybe the kid is SN and they think he will have a meltdown if the parent corrects him? (Sometimes kids respond much better to other adults than to parents)

How often have you seen this happen?

Pretty much every time (one a week in storytime) and it’s always the librarian who has to stop and ask the kid to sit down.

+1. I’ve seen librarians hold the book way up over their head while the standing kid then started grabbing at the book and the mother did nothing.

Wow. I wonder if they are trying to do gentle parenting but are completely missing the point.

Gentle parenting isn’t about letting your child do something disruptive and unfair to a room full of other children.

PP here and that's what I'm saying. Lots of people confuse gentle parenting for permissive parenting.

Ugh. These are just some of the reasons that I stopped chaperoning field trips, church day camps and youth groups. Especially worse as these same disruptive children become elementary school age; so much outright disruption and rudeness.

One by one these kids decide they don’t want to participate and announce it loudly. Then it’s mutiny.

[Anonymous]

I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

[Anonymous]

There is no reason to wait for another adult to step in and stop a child from taking your glasses off. Even if that child’s parent gets angry with you, you are completely within your rights to tell anyone of any age not to take your glasses off your face.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know! When I took Music Together classes, there was a kid who would do things like this every single class. Once he took my shoes. Teacher took an “ignore it” approach to discipline and his mom didn’t discipline, either. I finally dropped out of the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just teach your kid to raise his hand and say excuse me I can’t see.

They can't talk yet.

Wait, why are you taking a child who can't talk to storytime?

What? You cannot be serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just teach your kid to raise his hand and say excuse me I can’t see.

Say it to whom? My 3.5 yr old does raise his hand and tells the kid and the librarian he can’t see the book. The librarian asks the child to sit. The child doesn’t. What’s the librarian supposed to do - physically bend the kid in half and make him sit down?

Stop expecting other people to do your job.

No, that's where the librarian should act like the authority figure to the adult with the child, ask them to take care of their child or leave until next time.

And what are you doing while your child is standing up, walking up to the book, and then standing there blocking the rest of the kids view? Shouldn’t you be teaching your child to be fair and considerate?

This. FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

Why didn’t you keep your child with you? He wasn’t ready for that kind of a class/story time. He ruined it for other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children's librarian supervisor here. The only complaints I've ever had about storytimes were when a member of my staff asked a disruptive child (or the child's adult) to move to the back of the room. No matter how gently you ask, people get defensive when they know their kids are misbehaving and they get called out on it. And the complaint is always "Why doesn't the librarian accept my child's age-appropriate behavior? Don't they know anything about child development?" Um, yes, it's age-appropriate for kids to do things they shouldn't, but that doesn't mean you don't redirect them.

If only parents could engage in age-appropriate behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

It’s not. Now you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just teach your kid to raise his hand and say excuse me I can’t see.

They can't talk yet.

Wait, why are you taking a child who can't talk to storytime?

?? there are storytimes for babies. Our public library has them several times a week for different age groups including infants.

This. But baby storytimes are (or should be) planned with babies in mind. Mostly songs/rhymes + very short books and more about modeling early literacy development for the parents.

I'm a librarian and used to do storytimes. Separate groups for babies, toddlers/2s, 3-5. Different programs for each.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

Why didn’t you keep your child with you? He wasn’t ready for that kind of a class/story time. He ruined it for other kids.

All of the other kids were sitting up front, and he wanted to as well. I could tell that there was something different about him, and I thought it was a positive that he wanted to engage in the behaviors that other kids were. I mean, you can imagine, this is a kid who would spend all of a play date at the park sitting in the mulch at the periphery watching ants. I was thrilled that he wanted to do what other kids were doing.
It wasn’t every time, and he would sit down when asked by the librarian. I would say that he was standing for roughly 1% of the time we spent there. I sincerely doubt that he ruined library story time for anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

It’s not. Now you know.

Are you sure? I mean, my kid is 15 now, so it’s kind of a moot point for me, but how disruptive is it to have someone who is three feet tall and 40lbs standing up vs someone who is six feet tall and 180lbs? I’m not sure that having mom’s and dad’s getting up and messing with their kids during story time would be a lot less disruptive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been that parent with my oldest. It typically happened when the kids were sitting in the front and the parents in the back, so I was physically separated from my child whenever he walked up in front of the book. I always felt like my getting up and physically moving my child or yelling at him from across the room was more disruptive than letting him stand there or the librarian saying something.
Plus, this is what other parents seemed to be doing. I never saw anyone else getting up and moving their child.

**This child was later diagnosed with ASD, which is probably why he didn’t pick up on the social cues not to get in front of the book (and why he didn’t respond to the evil eye from myself or the librarian).

It’s not. Now you know.

Are you sure? I mean, my kid is 15 now, so it’s kind of a moot point for me, but how disruptive is it to have someone who is three feet tall and 40lbs standing up vs someone who is six feet tall and 180lbs? I’m not sure that having mom’s and dad’s getting up and messing with their kids during story time would be a lot less disruptive.

Again (and for those with young kids in these situations) keep your child with you until you can teach him to sit and listen to the books.