This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?

[Anonymous]

You are not concerned. You want to gawk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is weird when parents brag about their kids, but then don’t follow through with the bad stuff. My nephew got promoted to assistant manager at a chain restaurant and they were so proud (he didn’t go to college). He was fired within a few months. His job history is a series of short term retail jobs. When he got a girlfriend, they were so proud but skated around the fact that they broke up. They are also proud that he is well-adjusted, but in reality, he smokes weed and drinks every day.

It's not remotely weird when parents share good news about their kids widely but not their struggles.

Except that the “good news” the parent is sharing isn’t even remarkable. Becoming an assistant manager at a chain restaurant or shacking up with a girlfriend (he moved out of mom’s, got a place with his GF!) isn’t exactly impressive. Then he can’t even keep those up.

[Anonymous]

+100 to you're a nosy jerk OP. There are a million reasons to not graduate in four years. It's actually very common, especially when two years were in a pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With the pandemic, I wouldn’t find it abnormal to not graduate within 4 years. I feel bad for college students and other populations. If someone brings it up, your curiosity will be satisfied but you should absolutely not ask directly or do any investigating. He’s still a kid and it’s so obnoxious to have a relative become noisy about your personal or professional life.

Many Ivy kids too a gap year or deferred admission. Ivy online full-pay… no thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, you are supposed to add your college internship onto Linked In?

Welcome to 2022, granny. Yes, every go-getting college student maintains a very detailed LinkedIn.

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not just be normal? "Hey Gavin, how's school going?"

Then he can say "Great! You know what else is great? This dip Aunt Wendy made. I'm going to get more. Want anything?" if he doesn't want to talk about it.

Or he can say "It's okay. I'm a little bummed - I was supposed to graduate this year but because of the pandemic I wound up a year behind so am going to be a super senior." And then you can be kind and say "You're always super in my book, Gavin! And LOTS of people fell behind because of the pandemic - don't worry about it."

It’s called a 5th year not super senior

[Anonymous]

Everybody I know that changed majors graduated a semester late, no biggie.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine college and internships NOT coming up when chatting with family who have college-aged children. I bet the family and kid has a canned line of b.s. to feed everyone. Make sure you ask follow-up questions and watch the lies fall apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just be normal? "Hey Gavin, how's school going?"

Then he can say "Great! You know what else is great? This dip Aunt Wendy made. I'm going to get more. Want anything?" if he doesn't want to talk about it.

Or he can say "It's okay. I'm a little bummed - I was supposed to graduate this year but because of the pandemic I wound up a year behind so am going to be a super senior." And then you can be kind and say "You're always super in my book, Gavin! And LOTS of people fell behind because of the pandemic - don't worry about it."

It’s called a 5th year not super senior

May be common at state schools but it’s extremely odd at prestigious colleges. Unless you quit to launch a startup or something.

[Anonymous]

Wow! So, he might need another semester; how is this any of your business? Maybe he lost a year due to a pandemic? Or is he on a college team if he is an athlete and wants to play that year?
I am confused about who is"supposed" to graduate and what is there to ignore? People graduate college on many different schedules, and you are truly evil. Your thoughts betray the darkness of your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just be normal? "Hey Gavin, how's school going?"

Then he can say "Great! You know what else is great? This dip Aunt Wendy made. I'm going to get more. Want anything?" if he doesn't want to talk about it.

Or he can say "It's okay. I'm a little bummed - I was supposed to graduate this year but because of the pandemic I wound up a year behind so am going to be a super senior." And then you can be kind and say "You're always super in my book, Gavin! And LOTS of people fell behind because of the pandemic - don't worry about it."

It’s called a 5th year not super senior

Super senior is for high school, not college

[Anonymous]

MAybE he switched major and has an extra year (or two) to do

have you thought of that??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I graduated from Princeton way back in the late 00s when there was no pandemic closures or anything, I just messed up a course credit transfer and was short a credit at graduation and had to take one more credit over the summer. I think the date on my diploma is some random day when the registrar finally processed my credit. I walked with my class but my mom made it clear that she would not be celebrating my graduation and that I had caused her deep shame. She still cries during graduation season and will call me and say “you never gave me the gradation I deserved!”. I was not first generation college and I paid for school with loans and grants, so it’s not like she paid for it. Anyway, it was not normal to not graduate with your class at Princeton at the time and my mom still refuses to talk about anything from that era because I embarrassed her.

Your nephew may or may not be in a similar situation. You can bring it up 1:1 with him but definitely not in a large group or in front of his mom! Sounds like she is a lot to handle and whatever his situation is- good, bad, neutral- she sees it as a negative.

I would have appreciated a kind person acknowledging the weirdness to me, helping me talk through my disappointment (in myself, the situation, and my mom’s reaction), and giving me an anecdote or two about speed bumps that they encountered in their own adult life.

Correct, people are making a lot of weird excuses in this thread. It is not normal to not graduate on time at the top 50 or so universities. Those universities have 90+% graduation rates. Kids come in with tons of AP credits, a lot of kids finish early and do study abroad trips. It was reported in NYT and WSJ that college kids loved remote coursework because it was so easy and they could load up on credits and get easy As.

LOL “supposed to.” My friend who was “supposed to graduate” in four years with me from a big state school and took 5 years instead is a writer for a major HBO show, and has written for “Saturday Night Live.” He helped write one of Tina Fey’s movies. Another friend of mine finished a BA in 6 years because she took time off to travel and do internships abroad. One of those internships turned into her working for an embassy. She is an international lawyer who has had cases at the International Court of Justice in The Hague. Guess she was “supposed to” be a major success by forging her own path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, you are supposed to add your college internship onto Linked In?

Welcome to 2022, granny. Yes, every go-getting college student maintains a very detailed LinkedIn.

No.

+1. No, and I work in university advising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is weird when parents brag about their kids, but then don’t follow through with the bad stuff. My nephew got promoted to assistant manager at a chain restaurant and they were so proud (he didn’t go to college). He was fired within a few months. His job history is a series of short term retail jobs. When he got a girlfriend, they were so proud but skated around the fact that they broke up. They are also proud that he is well-adjusted, but in reality, he smokes weed and drinks every day.

Maybe they just don’t share everything with judgmental shrews who have a life so small they feed on the failures of others to compensate for their own mediocrity. Just a thought.