SILs expect me to be one of MIL's caregivers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband needs to tell his sisters to take you off this chart. If they challenge him, tell him to ask them to show where their own spouses are listed on this schedule.

This. You don’t get involved, you don’t respond. This is his battle.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry for the loss of both of your parents, op. And I’m sorry that your sisters in law have not been there for you over the years. Truthfully, they sound kind of awful. I don’t know about you but the pandemic has put a lot of things in perspective for me and sitting and keeping my mil company for a couple of hours once a week does not seem too burdensome. I know you have a long drive and I can’t remember if you work or have other weekly obligations. I would take your sils out of the picture. You are not doing this for them - you would be doing it for your mil. You would not have to go when they have penciled you in but you can say, I am available from 12-2 on Wednesdays (or whatever) and they can rearrange their days around your availability. It would be a Mitzvah as we say in Judaism. This would only be if you want to do it and can see that you are doing it solely for mil and not the sils. If you still feel comfortable with your current schedule, more power to you. I can tell you that my dh and his mom have a pretty fragile relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband needs to tell his sisters to take you off this chart. If they challenge him, tell him to ask them to show where their own spouses are listed on this schedule.

This. You don’t get involved, you don’t respond. This is his battle.

Sisters spouse is on the chart. Other sister is not partnered. OP is not on the chart, she’s mad they are asking.

OP if you don’t like your SILs and don’t want to participate you don’t have to. It sounds like you don’t like each other so maybe it’s for the best.

[Anonymous]

“Please remove me from the chart. I will be supporting David in his duties and will add my own visits and tasks as my schedule allows.”

Pretty simple. And yeah, it really is, because *they don’t have to like it.*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband needs to tell his sisters to take you off this chart. If they challenge him, tell him to ask them to show where their own spouses are listed on this schedule.

This. You don’t get involved, you don’t respond. This is his battle.

Sisters spouse is on the chart. Other sister is not partnered. OP is not on the chart, she’s mad they are asking.

OP if you don’t like your SILs and don’t want to participate you don’t have to. It sounds like you don’t like each other so maybe it’s for the best.

I am the OP. My MIL is a warm and friendly person, she has a good sense of humor and she is not judgmental. I will support her on my own terms and leave my SILs and the spouse of my one SILs out of it.

I would be more accommodating towards my SILs if they had made an effort with me and shown me some friendship over the last 25 years (as explained in my previous posts). I agree with my husband's own words; they are self-absorbed and they suffer from tunnel vision because they're only interested in themselves. They've made their bed ...

I look forward to seeing MIL soon, just her, my husband and me. The others can do as they please

[Anonymous]

I think 2 wrongs don't make a right. Them not caring for your parents has nothing to do with you spending time with YOUR MIL. Good people don't keep tabs. It's sad that you're refusing to spend time with your MIL because of your husband's sister's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 2 wrongs don't make a right. Them not caring for your parents has nothing to do with you spending time with YOUR MIL. Good people don't keep tabs. It's sad that you're refusing to spend time with your MIL because of your husband's sister's.

She’s not. Read. She’s just refusing to do it on their schedule that they made without even consulting her.