How to not be jealous of women who married rich?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess it depends on what you consider a “high earner.” My H makes around 750-850k depending on bonus. But he’s still the same person he’s always been. He’s a very caring, generous, patient person. He’d never expect me to look or act a certain way just because he makes a decent amount of money.

Interestingly, once he made it to senior management, his hours went way down. WFH helps as well with that. He has time to be a very involved, hands on parent. He’s always doing home improvement projects around our house in his spare time. Right now he’s retiling our master bathroom.

This stereotype that high earners are never home, absent fathers, or cheat on their wives is just that - a stereotype.

This is not “rich”

Rich = making millionS a year

I think 750-850K is rich...

UMC comfortable

I bet they’ve never even flown private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess it depends on what you consider a “high earner.” My H makes around 750-850k depending on bonus. But he’s still the same person he’s always been. He’s a very caring, generous, patient person. He’d never expect me to look or act a certain way just because he makes a decent amount of money.

Interestingly, once he made it to senior management, his hours went way down. WFH helps as well with that. He has time to be a very involved, hands on parent. He’s always doing home improvement projects around our house in his spare time. Right now he’s retiling our master bathroom.

This stereotype that high earners are never home, absent fathers, or cheat on their wives is just that - a stereotype.

This is not “rich”

Rich = making millionS a year

I think 750-850K is rich...

Little doubt this is rich -- in any even little doubt that this was the type of husband OP was talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess it depends on what you consider a “high earner.” My H makes around 750-850k depending on bonus. But he’s still the same person he’s always been. He’s a very caring, generous, patient person. He’d never expect me to look or act a certain way just because he makes a decent amount of money.

Interestingly, once he made it to senior management, his hours went way down. WFH helps as well with that. He has time to be a very involved, hands on parent. He’s always doing home improvement projects around our house in his spare time. Right now he’s retiling our master bathroom.

This stereotype that high earners are never home, absent fathers, or cheat on their wives is just that - a stereotype.

This is not “rich”

Rich = making millionS a year

I think 750-850K is rich...

Little doubt this is rich -- in any even little doubt that this was the type of husband OP was talking about.

He sounds like a nice guy though. Present in the home and family. I wish my DH was capable of doing home improvement projects! And he doesn’t make anywhere near that kind of money. So how would that make her feel better?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am. But it's not marrying "rich' I'm specifically jealous of, it's marrying someone who makes enough for the other parent to have a more flexible, part-time career or SAH. We live in a nice, MC to UMC neighborhood in a desirable school district. DH and I both have great jobs that pay well enough to live where we do and be able to save (which honestly, is anywhere around here). We would have to have one of the following factors in order for one of us to stay home or go part time: family money, early or lucky real estate investment, much more lucrative career. So I am jealous of the SAH moms (because it's all moms) in our neighborhood who leave the bus stop in the morning for their workout or morning dog walk, have time to pursue hobbies or homemaking during the day, are active at the kids' school, are home when the bus gets back, shuttle kids to enrichment or activities, and have flexibility for days off and summertime. Yet still seems to have nice clothes for themselves and their kids, take great vacations, have beautiful homes - so obviously aren't making sacrifices in order to stay home. Our family would really benefit from that and we have a lot of extra stress from trying to accommodate schedules and catch up on life stuff on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess it depends on what you consider a “high earner.” My H makes around 750-850k depending on bonus. But he’s still the same person he’s always been. He’s a very caring, generous, patient person. He’d never expect me to look or act a certain way just because he makes a decent amount of money.

Interestingly, once he made it to senior management, his hours went way down. WFH helps as well with that. He has time to be a very involved, hands on parent. He’s always doing home improvement projects around our house in his spare time. Right now he’s retiling our master bathroom.

This stereotype that high earners are never home, absent fathers, or cheat on their wives is just that - a stereotype.

....stereotype for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess it depends on what you consider a “high earner.” My H makes around 750-850k depending on bonus. But he’s still the same person he’s always been. He’s a very caring, generous, patient person. He’d never expect me to look or act a certain way just because he makes a decent amount of money.

Interestingly, once he made it to senior management, his hours went way down. WFH helps as well with that. He has time to be a very involved, hands on parent. He’s always doing home improvement projects around our house in his spare time. Right now he’s retiling our master bathroom.

This stereotype that high earners are never home, absent fathers, or cheat on their wives is just that - a stereotype.

This is not “rich”

Rich = making millionS a year

NP here.... you're so stupid. PP is rich. Unless by your standards someone has to be a fraction of the 1%. My guess is you're a jealous middle class troll. To the PP this troll was responding to, I'm happy your DH is not an a$$h0le. Just know, many folks will envy you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess it depends on what you consider a “high earner.” My H makes around 750-850k depending on bonus. But he’s still the same person he’s always been. He’s a very caring, generous, patient person. He’d never expect me to look or act a certain way just because he makes a decent amount of money.

Interestingly, once he made it to senior management, his hours went way down. WFH helps as well with that. He has time to be a very involved, hands on parent. He’s always doing home improvement projects around our house in his spare time. Right now he’s retiling our master bathroom.

This stereotype that high earners are never home, absent fathers, or cheat on their wives is just that - a stereotype.

I bet you haven't either...

This is not “rich”

Rich = making millionS a year

I think 750-850K is rich...

UMC comfortable

I bet they’ve never even flown private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess it depends on what you consider a “high earner.” My H makes around 750-850k depending on bonus. But he’s still the same person he’s always been. He’s a very caring, generous, patient person. He’d never expect me to look or act a certain way just because he makes a decent amount of money.

Interestingly, once he made it to senior management, his hours went way down. WFH helps as well with that. He has time to be a very involved, hands on parent. He’s always doing home improvement projects around our house in his spare time. Right now he’s retiling our master bathroom.

This stereotype that high earners are never home, absent fathers, or cheat on their wives is just that - a stereotype.

....stereotype for a reason.

+1. Most men and women who make a lot of money work long hours and be "on call" for work at all times, even during vacations and important events. There are exceptions, of course, but generally this is the case. As for the cheating, I think that people who are powerful and get catered to a lot become used that and when their spouse doesn't cater to them or show appreciation they get frustrated and sometimes this can lead to cheating or divorce or just being a very demanding person.

[Anonymous]

This thread is hilarious. If a woman says, hey, my high earning spouse treats me well, is a great partner and husband, and does well financially - oh, you’re the exception that proves the rule. Oh, that’s not really rich. Oh, I’m sure you’re suffocating under the pressure of his high expectations.

It’s one of the most annoying DCUM tropes - that if someone has more/is “better” than you (better body, higher earning spouse, better job), there must be some skeletons in the closet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just one period of time. I was crazy envious last year when my friends whose kids were in private school got in person learning.

So jealous. My kids in public school were stuck with Fairfax County’s terrible online learning. I work in a hospital (ICU nurse) and really couldn’t help them much. It was the lowest period of my life.

[Have to add - I now have almost no respect for public school teachers after seeing their disgusting behavior during the 2020-21 school year. My child’s teacher “taught” remotely while taking her two daughters to tennis tournaments around the country. So even when my kiddo went back to school, she learned almost nothing. F-teachers.]

I’m in a better place now. Taking care of people who are dying gives you a different perspective on money and happiness.

I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Just curious how did it affect the in person experience?

[Anonymous]

It could be worse. You could be a single earner parent. Grass is always greener.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It could be worse. You could be a single earner parent. Grass is always greener.

You are assuming a Poor single earner parent.. A rich single earner making 7 figures, for example, could easily staff up to handle any household related things with better efficiency than a SAH parent. The only challenge would be being present as a parent for the kids, participating in their lives, activities, having flexibility. But you know what? this is a challenge for those in 2-income households where both parents work, don't earn enough to staff household help and must juggle everything together (home, kids, jobs, careers, elderly parents). IMHO, the grass IS greener for a rich single earner or a household where one earner makes enough to support family very comfortably, and especially for those who have high networth already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am. But it's not marrying "rich' I'm specifically jealous of, it's marrying someone who makes enough for the other parent to have a more flexible, part-time career or SAH. We live in a nice, MC to UMC neighborhood in a desirable school district. DH and I both have great jobs that pay well enough to live where we do and be able to save (which honestly, is anywhere around here). We would have to have one of the following factors in order for one of us to stay home or go part time: family money, early or lucky real estate investment, much more lucrative career. So I am jealous of the SAH moms (because it's all moms) in our neighborhood who leave the bus stop in the morning for their workout or morning dog walk, have time to pursue hobbies or homemaking during the day, are active at the kids' school, are home when the bus gets back, shuttle kids to enrichment or activities, and have flexibility for days off and summertime. Yet still seems to have nice clothes for themselves and their kids, take great vacations, have beautiful homes - so obviously aren't making sacrifices in order to stay home. Our family would really benefit from that and we have a lot of extra stress from trying to accommodate schedules and catch up on life stuff on the weekends.

You might not see the tradeoffs being made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, OP. Do you also feel jealous that my husband married rich?

X100. It’s so annoying that these threads imply that these dynamics apply to rich husbands vs. rich wives; there is an exploding population of rich people of both sexes.

But marrying a man who makes less than you is marrying down! (sarcasm)

I married a teacher. He isn't rich, but he's hot AF and an amazing father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess it depends on what you consider a “high earner.” My H makes around 750-850k depending on bonus. But he’s still the same person he’s always been. He’s a very caring, generous, patient person. He’d never expect me to look or act a certain way just because he makes a decent amount of money.

Interestingly, once he made it to senior management, his hours went way down. WFH helps as well with that. He has time to be a very involved, hands on parent. He’s always doing home improvement projects around our house in his spare time. Right now he’s retiling our master bathroom.

This stereotype that high earners are never home, absent fathers, or cheat on their wives is just that - a stereotype.

+1. I have one of those, too. Glad he’s not a unicorn.