Budgeting for Private School -- Convince my spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No idea why anyone is trying to help the OP she wants to hear one thing.

Private school for your kids is the right move. The schools suck and it is totally worth taking on debt when they go to College and working longer so that you can send your kids to private school. I mean, you want your kids to have the best. So keep on traveling and send the kids to private school. Don't worry about it. They will probably end up with all A's, taking a ton of AP classes starting in 9th grade, and get full scholarships to an Ivy because private schools are so much better then public schools.

No idea why this even a conversation. Go private all the way.

Sadly I think OP is going to fail to see the sarcasm here…

[Anonymous]

I suppose pointing out that there are houses available in the Reston Herndon area that would be less expensive, saving money on the mortgage for more travel and the like, and feed into some great MS and very good HS with AP classes.

There are some excellent public schools in FCPS that provide a great education and experience and you don't have to buy a million dollar home, but they don't have the prestige that I suspect the OP actually wants. I don't know MCPS but I would guess that there are some very good public schools there. But OP has decided that all the public school are awful or will be awful and that the only why her kids can get a great education is to go private.

And that is cool. OPs problem is that her husband knows that she is wrong and sees that the cost of the private schools are not worth it for their family. And people here are saying the same thing. But this isn't about economics, it is about prestige and being able to say that the kids went to school X and that they are so much better then those kids who had to go to public schools and aren't we the best parents ever because we scrimped and saved to pay for our $1.2 million house and private schools for the 3 kids.

Kind of ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suppose pointing out that there are houses available in the Reston Herndon area that would be less expensive, saving money on the mortgage for more travel and the like, and feed into some great MS and very good HS with AP classes.

There are some excellent public schools in FCPS that provide a great education and experience and you don't have to buy a million dollar home, but they don't have the prestige that I suspect the OP actually wants. I don't know MCPS but I would guess that there are some very good public schools there. But OP has decided that all the public school are awful or will be awful and that the only why her kids can get a great education is to go private.

And that is cool. OPs problem is that her husband knows that she is wrong and sees that the cost of the private schools are not worth it for their family. And people here are saying the same thing. But this isn't about economics, it is about prestige and being able to say that the kids went to school X and that they are so much better then those kids who had to go to public schools and aren't we the best parents ever because we scrimped and saved to pay for our $1.2 million house and private schools for the 3 kids.

Kind of ridiculous.

WTAF I could give a rats tail about prestige. All I want is my kid to be learning my for most of the day in school, have a reasonable size house for my family, and not have a 2 hr commute. HERNDON?? To Capital Hill?? Do you own a private helicopter??

I personally like a lot of FCPS and MCPS, but the ones with decent commute are way way more expensive now and represent taking on debt NOW vs the slow pain of private and college. Neither option is great, though I am surprised we seem to be too poor for private but got zero aid.

[Anonymous]

Reality is that private school is not a financially responsible decision here.

[Anonymous]

You are living in a $1.2 million home and make over $300,000, based on your posts. Why would you think that you would get aid for private school? You are probably not going to get anything for college.

You have options, you just don’t like those options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are living in a $1.2 million home and make over $300,000, based on your posts. Why would you think that you would get aid for private school? You are probably not going to get anything for college.

You have options, you just don’t like those options.

Yet everyone hear says that we will? I had to do it because spouse made it contingent on applying at all.

What option gives us rigorous schools and reasonable commutes with a 4 bedroom SFH? Pretty achievable middle class life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are living in a $1.2 million home and make over $300,000, based on your posts. Why would you think that you would get aid for private school? You are probably not going to get anything for college.

You have options, you just don’t like those options.

Yet everyone hear says that we will? I had to do it because spouse made it contingent on applying at all.

What option gives us rigorous schools and reasonable commutes with a 4 bedroom SFH? Pretty achievable middle class life.

Sorry everyone here says that we don’t make enough to afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suppose pointing out that there are houses available in the Reston Herndon area that would be less expensive, saving money on the mortgage for more travel and the like, and feed into some great MS and very good HS with AP classes.

There are some excellent public schools in FCPS that provide a great education and experience and you don't have to buy a million dollar home, but they don't have the prestige that I suspect the OP actually wants. I don't know MCPS but I would guess that there are some very good public schools there. But OP has decided that all the public school are awful or will be awful and that the only why her kids can get a great education is to go private.

And that is cool. OPs problem is that her husband knows that she is wrong and sees that the cost of the private schools are not worth it for their family. And people here are saying the same thing. But this isn't about economics, it is about prestige and being able to say that the kids went to school X and that they are so much better then those kids who had to go to public schools and aren't we the best parents ever because we scrimped and saved to pay for our $1.2 million house and private schools for the 3 kids.

Kind of ridiculous.

WTAF I could give a rats tail about prestige. All I want is my kid to be learning my for most of the day in school, have a reasonable size house for my family, and not have a 2 hr commute. HERNDON?? To Capital Hill?? Do you own a private helicopter??

I personally like a lot of FCPS and MCPS, but the ones with decent commute are way way more expensive now and represent taking on debt NOW vs the slow pain of private and college. Neither option is great, though I am surprised we seem to be too poor for private but got zero aid.

Okay OP, I’ll play. What do you want here? You’ve gotten commiseration about the fact you’re facing hard choices that feel unfair. You’ve gotten practical suggestions for cutting your budget, either by changing to public schools or to free up some budget space while you stay with private. You’re unlikely to get affirmation that you’re right except for the tongue-in-cheek version. You’re still engaged here (and kiddos for that). But what do you want? No one can magically make you richer or private school (or anything else) cheaper. No one can make the budget balance better without you making sacrifices and choices. So how can we help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are living in a $1.2 million home and make over $300,000, based on your posts. Why would you think that you would get aid for private school? You are probably not going to get anything for college.

You have options, you just don’t like those options.

Yet everyone hear says that we will? I had to do it because spouse made it contingent on applying at all.

What option gives us rigorous schools and reasonable commutes with a 4 bedroom SFH? Pretty achievable middle class life.

Close-in four bedroom single family home in an expensive metro area plus private school for three kids isn’t middle class. Your definition of middle class is off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suppose pointing out that there are houses available in the Reston Herndon area that would be less expensive, saving money on the mortgage for more travel and the like, and feed into some great MS and very good HS with AP classes.

There are some excellent public schools in FCPS that provide a great education and experience and you don't have to buy a million dollar home, but they don't have the prestige that I suspect the OP actually wants. I don't know MCPS but I would guess that there are some very good public schools there. But OP has decided that all the public school are awful or will be awful and that the only why her kids can get a great education is to go private.

And that is cool. OPs problem is that her husband knows that she is wrong and sees that the cost of the private schools are not worth it for their family. And people here are saying the same thing. But this isn't about economics, it is about prestige and being able to say that the kids went to school X and that they are so much better then those kids who had to go to public schools and aren't we the best parents ever because we scrimped and saved to pay for our $1.2 million house and private schools for the 3 kids.

Kind of ridiculous.

WTAF I could give a rats tail about prestige. All I want is my kid to be learning my for most of the day in school, have a reasonable size house for my family, and not have a 2 hr commute. HERNDON?? To Capital Hill?? Do you own a private helicopter??

I personally like a lot of FCPS and MCPS, but the ones with decent commute are way way more expensive now and represent taking on debt NOW vs the slow pain of private and college. Neither option is great, though I am surprised we seem to be too poor for private but got zero aid.

Okay OP, I’ll play. What do you want here? You’ve gotten commiseration about the fact you’re facing hard choices that feel unfair. You’ve gotten practical suggestions for cutting your budget, either by changing to public schools or to free up some budget space while you stay with private. You’re unlikely to get affirmation that you’re right except for the tongue-in-cheek version. You’re still engaged here (and kiddos for that). But what do you want? No one can magically make you richer or private school (or anything else) cheaper. No one can make the budget balance better without you making sacrifices and choices. So how can we help?

Unclear what cuts in budget make private school work — they keep saying move some where cheaper like a condo, but I know long term that also would be a huge hit on savings by reduced appreciation/condo fees. Did I miss something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suppose pointing out that there are houses available in the Reston Herndon area that would be less expensive, saving money on the mortgage for more travel and the like, and feed into some great MS and very good HS with AP classes.

There are some excellent public schools in FCPS that provide a great education and experience and you don't have to buy a million dollar home, but they don't have the prestige that I suspect the OP actually wants. I don't know MCPS but I would guess that there are some very good public schools there. But OP has decided that all the public school are awful or will be awful and that the only why her kids can get a great education is to go private.

And that is cool. OPs problem is that her husband knows that she is wrong and sees that the cost of the private schools are not worth it for their family. And people here are saying the same thing. But this isn't about economics, it is about prestige and being able to say that the kids went to school X and that they are so much better then those kids who had to go to public schools and aren't we the best parents ever because we scrimped and saved to pay for our $1.2 million house and private schools for the 3 kids.

Kind of ridiculous.

WTAF I could give a rats tail about prestige. All I want is my kid to be learning my for most of the day in school, have a reasonable size house for my family, and not have a 2 hr commute. HERNDON?? To Capital Hill?? Do you own a private helicopter??

I personally like a lot of FCPS and MCPS, but the ones with decent commute are way way more expensive now and represent taking on debt NOW vs the slow pain of private and college. Neither option is great, though I am surprised we seem to be too poor for private but got zero aid.

Okay OP, I’ll play. What do you want here? You’ve gotten commiseration about the fact you’re facing hard choices that feel unfair. You’ve gotten practical suggestions for cutting your budget, either by changing to public schools or to free up some budget space while you stay with private. You’re unlikely to get affirmation that you’re right except for the tongue-in-cheek version. You’re still engaged here (and kiddos for that). But what do you want? No one can magically make you richer or private school (or anything else) cheaper. No one can make the budget balance better without you making sacrifices and choices. So how can we help?

Unclear what cuts in budget make private school work — they keep saying move some where cheaper like a condo, but I know long term that also would be a huge hit on savings by reduced appreciation/condo fees. Did I miss something else?

Cut out travel and the house cleaners and you should be able to save for college + a rainy day.

Or cut out some of the $1100/month you spend on kids activities and keep some of the travel budget, since your perception is that you are getting so much enrichment at private compared to public.

[Anonymous]

You seem to have a choice between the big house, the close in commute, or the school you want.

If you choose the house and the commute, you don’t get the school you want. You can’t afford private school and you don’t like your public school. I don’t think dropping cleaning is going to save you that much and your husband doesn’t want to give up the travel since it involves seeing family. Or you have to go into debt for college and not save as much for retirement.

If you really want a better school you probably need to move and increase your commute. You go in to the city 3 days a week, any way to adjust that to 1 or 2 days a week. The pro is that you can move to a nice size house and maybe save some money on your home but get the school you want in either public or private.

So you are willing to go into debt for college and delay retirement but you don’t want to commute or look at how you might be able to decrease your time in the city for work?

Commutes suck but does the commute suck more then the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suppose pointing out that there are houses available in the Reston Herndon area that would be less expensive, saving money on the mortgage for more travel and the like, and feed into some great MS and very good HS with AP classes.

There are some excellent public schools in FCPS that provide a great education and experience and you don't have to buy a million dollar home, but they don't have the prestige that I suspect the OP actually wants. I don't know MCPS but I would guess that there are some very good public schools there. But OP has decided that all the public school are awful or will be awful and that the only why her kids can get a great education is to go private.

And that is cool. OPs problem is that her husband knows that she is wrong and sees that the cost of the private schools are not worth it for their family. And people here are saying the same thing. But this isn't about economics, it is about prestige and being able to say that the kids went to school X and that they are so much better then those kids who had to go to public schools and aren't we the best parents ever because we scrimped and saved to pay for our $1.2 million house and private schools for the 3 kids.

Kind of ridiculous.

WTAF I could give a rats tail about prestige. All I want is my kid to be learning my for most of the day in school, have a reasonable size house for my family, and not have a 2 hr commute. HERNDON?? To Capital Hill?? Do you own a private helicopter??

I personally like a lot of FCPS and MCPS, but the ones with decent commute are way way more expensive now and represent taking on debt NOW vs the slow pain of private and college. Neither option is great, though I am surprised we seem to be too poor for private but got zero aid.

Okay OP, I’ll play. What do you want here? You’ve gotten commiseration about the fact you’re facing hard choices that feel unfair. You’ve gotten practical suggestions for cutting your budget, either by changing to public schools or to free up some budget space while you stay with private. You’re unlikely to get affirmation that you’re right except for the tongue-in-cheek version. You’re still engaged here (and kiddos for that). But what do you want? No one can magically make you richer or private school (or anything else) cheaper. No one can make the budget balance better without you making sacrifices and choices. So how can we help?

Unclear what cuts in budget make private school work — they keep saying move some where cheaper like a condo, but I know long term that also would be a huge hit on savings by reduced appreciation/condo fees. Did I miss something else?

I agree with PP that there are lots of places to cut. Travel (current at $16,000 per year), kids activities and camps are over $13,000 per year. House cleaners are a luxury you’re spending $3,600 per year on. You’re paying a lot for mobile devices, when a shared Basic Verizon family plan for five is $150/month.

But even if there were nothing to cut from your budget, that doesn’t change the question - beyond agreement that it’s hard and you have hard choices to make, what do you want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem to have a choice between the big house, the close in commute, or the school you want.

If you choose the house and the commute, you don’t get the school you want. You can’t afford private school and you don’t like your public school. I don’t think dropping cleaning is going to save you that much and your husband doesn’t want to give up the travel since it involves seeing family. Or you have to go into debt for college and not save as much for retirement.

If you really want a better school you probably need to move and increase your commute. You go in to the city 3 days a week, any way to adjust that to 1 or 2 days a week. The pro is that you can move to a nice size house and maybe save some money on your home but get the school you want in either public or private.

So you are willing to go into debt for college and delay retirement but you don’t want to commute or look at how you might be able to decrease your time in the city for work?

Commutes suck but does the commute suck more then the school?

Yeah that’s the fundament disagreement. I’m fine with a worse commute but spouse is not.

There is no way to reduce days in office other than finding new jobs and as said we have both been looking but no luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suppose pointing out that there are houses available in the Reston Herndon area that would be less expensive, saving money on the mortgage for more travel and the like, and feed into some great MS and very good HS with AP classes.

There are some excellent public schools in FCPS that provide a great education and experience and you don't have to buy a million dollar home, but they don't have the prestige that I suspect the OP actually wants. I don't know MCPS but I would guess that there are some very good public schools there. But OP has decided that all the public school are awful or will be awful and that the only why her kids can get a great education is to go private.

And that is cool. OPs problem is that her husband knows that she is wrong and sees that the cost of the private schools are not worth it for their family. And people here are saying the same thing. But this isn't about economics, it is about prestige and being able to say that the kids went to school X and that they are so much better then those kids who had to go to public schools and aren't we the best parents ever because we scrimped and saved to pay for our $1.2 million house and private schools for the 3 kids.

Kind of ridiculous.

WTAF I could give a rats tail about prestige. All I want is my kid to be learning my for most of the day in school, have a reasonable size house for my family, and not have a 2 hr commute. HERNDON?? To Capital Hill?? Do you own a private helicopter??

I personally like a lot of FCPS and MCPS, but the ones with decent commute are way way more expensive now and represent taking on debt NOW vs the slow pain of private and college. Neither option is great, though I am surprised we seem to be too poor for private but got zero aid.

Okay OP, I’ll play. What do you want here? You’ve gotten commiseration about the fact you’re facing hard choices that feel unfair. You’ve gotten practical suggestions for cutting your budget, either by changing to public schools or to free up some budget space while you stay with private. You’re unlikely to get affirmation that you’re right except for the tongue-in-cheek version. You’re still engaged here (and kiddos for that). But what do you want? No one can magically make you richer or private school (or anything else) cheaper. No one can make the budget balance better without you making sacrifices and choices. So how can we help?

Unclear what cuts in budget make private school work — they keep saying move some where cheaper like a condo, but I know long term that also would be a huge hit on savings by reduced appreciation/condo fees. Did I miss something else?

I agree with PP that there are lots of places to cut. Travel (current at $16,000 per year), kids activities and camps are over $13,000 per year. House cleaners are a luxury you’re spending $3,600 per year on. You’re paying a lot for mobile devices, when a shared Basic Verizon family plan for five is $150/month.

But even if there were nothing to cut from your budget, that doesn’t change the question - beyond agreement that it’s hard and you have hard choices to make, what do you want?

Camps act as childcare and will sunset as kids get older.

We pay for parents mobile phones.