Budgeting for Private School -- Convince my spouse

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The big question is whether your net is after you've saved for retirement. And how much are you saving for retirement. I can't believe a few years of subpar education in middle and high school is really worth not being able to retire or not having enough money in retirement.


We both max out $401k and my spouse gets a pension so there is some retirement there. That said, I fully plan/home to work until my 70s (in my industry this is actually fairly common)
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If you can't move, can you or your husband consider potentially higher paying jobs?

Is the $1500 inclusive of ALL of your savings contributions?


We have both been ACTIVELY looking for new jobs, but NONE have come through with higher pay despite 3 years of looking. I think we are just too old/niche/lame to swing any more income than we have (which in principle is a decent income, at least outside DCUM/private school circles)
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So we have a disagreement on whether we should continue private school, coming down to how to afford it and not have to sacrifice travel (which is very important to my spouse for both visiting family as well as exposing our kids to the world)

So the biggest concern is that we will have to reduce vacation travel and not be saving enough for college.

Here's our budget, and I'm posting it here because I want the Independent school perspective; money forum will surely tear this stuff apart. We have 3 kids, though they will only be in private school 2 at time because of the age difference; we will have college costs along with private school, but at that point loans would be an option. House is an old crummy house with an addition, which is nice enough but expensive because it is close in with "good" schools which we now realize are circling the drain.

We have considered moving, but house prices have gone up so much in places that we think would be better options and it just seems insurrmountable and we aren't even sure public schools are actually better there (we hear a lot of bad news about FCPS, MCPS, APS on this forum, so hard to tell what is truth) Kids are thriving at private, so we are reluctant to rock the boat.

Take home Income $20,040

House -$5,100
Extended Day -$300
Life Insurance -$200
Music Lessons -$456
Internet -$50
Mobile -$300
Private School -$5,667

----------------------------
Fixed Total -$12,139
----------------------------

Home Repair -$1,167
Streaming -$40
Groceries -$1,500
Camps -$500
Kids Activities -$167
Cleaner -$300
Cars -$200
Utils -$375
Med -$133
Shop Misc -$625

----------------------------
Discretionary Total -$5,007
----------------------------

Holidays -$250
Vacation -$667
Beach Week -$417

----------------------------
Travel Total -$1,333
----------------------------

----------------------------
Net Savings $1,561
----------------------------


You're going to pay far more in tuition payments than you would be in extra mortgage payments


+1 Theoretically, based on this budget, OP could spend up to 10.6k on mortgage payments (disclaimer: I am not advising this course of action). Bet you could get good public schools with that budget! And the mortgage won't increase 3-5%/year.


That would be on a cash flow basis yes, but that is signing up for a 30-year mortgage, and of course if housing prices fall we could be very vulnerable.

Our current home we purchased for $1.2M; so if we sell we think we could swing a $1.6M house. So suggest a top school district with move in ready 4-bedroom SFH for $1.6M with short commute to capital hill (we go in 3x week). And then we can discuss if that school district is actually performing -- we hear a lot of grief from all public school districts, and we how they are not really concerned about the high achieving students and kind of leave them to their own devices these days.
Anonymous
There are some houses for sale in the Longfellow MS draw area that are less that 1.6 for a 4 bedroom. I thought my DS's gifted education at Longfellow was excellent (especially in Math). It's not that far from Capital Hill especially if your DH and you are commuting together (can take 66 for free).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So we have a disagreement on whether we should continue private school, coming down to how to afford it and not have to sacrifice travel (which is very important to my spouse for both visiting family as well as exposing our kids to the world)

So the biggest concern is that we will have to reduce vacation travel and not be saving enough for college.

Here's our budget, and I'm posting it here because I want the Independent school perspective; money forum will surely tear this stuff apart. We have 3 kids, though they will only be in private school 2 at time because of the age difference; we will have college costs along with private school, but at that point loans would be an option. House is an old crummy house with an addition, which is nice enough but expensive because it is close in with "good" schools which we now realize are circling the drain.

We have considered moving, but house prices have gone up so much in places that we think would be better options and it just seems insurrmountable and we aren't even sure public schools are actually better there (we hear a lot of bad news about FCPS, MCPS, APS on this forum, so hard to tell what is truth) Kids are thriving at private, so we are reluctant to rock the boat.

Take home Income $20,040

House -$5,100
Extended Day -$300
Life Insurance -$200
Music Lessons -$456
Internet -$50
Mobile -$300
Private School -$5,667

----------------------------
Fixed Total -$12,139
----------------------------

Home Repair -$1,167
Streaming -$40
Groceries -$1,500
Camps -$500
Kids Activities -$167
Cleaner -$300
Cars -$200
Utils -$375
Med -$133
Shop Misc -$625

----------------------------
Discretionary Total -$5,007
----------------------------

Holidays -$250
Vacation -$667
Beach Week -$417

----------------------------
Travel Total -$1,333
----------------------------

----------------------------
Net Savings $1,561
----------------------------


You're going to pay far more in tuition payments than you would be in extra mortgage payments


+1 Theoretically, based on this budget, OP could spend up to 10.6k on mortgage payments (disclaimer: I am not advising this course of action). Bet you could get good public schools with that budget! And the mortgage won't increase 3-5%/year.


That would be on a cash flow basis yes, but that is signing up for a 30-year mortgage, and of course if housing prices fall we could be very vulnerable.

Our current home we purchased for $1.2M; so if we sell we think we could swing a $1.6M house. So suggest a top school district with move in ready 4-bedroom SFH for $1.6M with short commute to capital hill (we go in 3x week). And then we can discuss if that school district is actually performing -- we hear a lot of grief from all public school districts, and we how they are not really concerned about the high achieving students and kind of leave them to their own devices these days.


The point is you could go higher than $1.6 because you're currently throwing almost $6k/month at school. And it doesn't make much sense that a thirty year mortgage would unsettle you right after you stated you're planning to work until your 70s to make up for your low savings rate now. You can sell and downsize when your last kid goes to college and recapture some of that expense, but you can never get back the ~$70k/year you're spending on private schools.

Your comment about how good schools aren't actually good anyway tells me that you're not really open to a solution other than your preferred private school.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So we have a disagreement on whether we should continue private school, coming down to how to afford it and not have to sacrifice travel (which is very important to my spouse for both visiting family as well as exposing our kids to the world)

So the biggest concern is that we will have to reduce vacation travel and not be saving enough for college.

Here's our budget, and I'm posting it here because I want the Independent school perspective; money forum will surely tear this stuff apart. We have 3 kids, though they will only be in private school 2 at time because of the age difference; we will have college costs along with private school, but at that point loans would be an option. House is an old crummy house with an addition, which is nice enough but expensive because it is close in with "good" schools which we now realize are circling the drain.

We have considered moving, but house prices have gone up so much in places that we think would be better options and it just seems insurrmountable and we aren't even sure public schools are actually better there (we hear a lot of bad news about FCPS, MCPS, APS on this forum, so hard to tell what is truth) Kids are thriving at private, so we are reluctant to rock the boat.

Take home Income $20,040

House -$5,100
Extended Day -$300
Life Insurance -$200
Music Lessons -$456
Internet -$50
Mobile -$300
Private School -$5,667

----------------------------
Fixed Total -$12,139
----------------------------

Home Repair -$1,167
Streaming -$40
Groceries -$1,500
Camps -$500
Kids Activities -$167
Cleaner -$300
Cars -$200
Utils -$375
Med -$133
Shop Misc -$625

----------------------------
Discretionary Total -$5,007
----------------------------

Holidays -$250
Vacation -$667
Beach Week -$417

----------------------------
Travel Total -$1,333
----------------------------

----------------------------
Net Savings $1,561
----------------------------


You're going to pay far more in tuition payments than you would be in extra mortgage payments


+1 Theoretically, based on this budget, OP could spend up to 10.6k on mortgage payments (disclaimer: I am not advising this course of action). Bet you could get good public schools with that budget! And the mortgage won't increase 3-5%/year.


That would be on a cash flow basis yes, but that is signing up for a 30-year mortgage, and of course if housing prices fall we could be very vulnerable.

Our current home we purchased for $1.2M; so if we sell we think we could swing a $1.6M house. So suggest a top school district with move in ready 4-bedroom SFH for $1.6M with short commute to capital hill (we go in 3x week). And then we can discuss if that school district is actually performing -- we hear a lot of grief from all public school districts, and we how they are not really concerned about the high achieving students and kind of leave them to their own devices these days.


The point is you could go higher than $1.6 because you're currently throwing almost $6k/month at school. And it doesn't make much sense that a thirty year mortgage would unsettle you right after you stated you're planning to work until your 70s to make up for your low savings rate now. You can sell and downsize when your last kid goes to college and recapture some of that expense, but you can never get back the ~$70k/year you're spending on private schools.

Your comment about how good schools aren't actually good anyway tells me that you're not really open to a solution other than your preferred private school.


We are paying $6k/month for at most 12 years, and we can stop anytime. Buying a much more expensive house, we are signing up for that $6k/month for 30 years and can't stop unless we sell our house (which could be underwater if current market IS a bubble -- I have no idea, but we aren't keen on stretching ourselves that much and finding out).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So we have a disagreement on whether we should continue private school, coming down to how to afford it and not have to sacrifice travel (which is very important to my spouse for both visiting family as well as exposing our kids to the world)

So the biggest concern is that we will have to reduce vacation travel and not be saving enough for college.

Here's our budget, and I'm posting it here because I want the Independent school perspective; money forum will surely tear this stuff apart. We have 3 kids, though they will only be in private school 2 at time because of the age difference; we will have college costs along with private school, but at that point loans would be an option. House is an old crummy house with an addition, which is nice enough but expensive because it is close in with "good" schools which we now realize are circling the drain.

We have considered moving, but house prices have gone up so much in places that we think would be better options and it just seems insurrmountable and we aren't even sure public schools are actually better there (we hear a lot of bad news about FCPS, MCPS, APS on this forum, so hard to tell what is truth) Kids are thriving at private, so we are reluctant to rock the boat.

Take home Income $20,040

House -$5,100
Extended Day -$300
Life Insurance -$200
Music Lessons -$456
Internet -$50
Mobile -$300
Private School -$5,667

----------------------------
Fixed Total -$12,139
----------------------------

Home Repair -$1,167
Streaming -$40
Groceries -$1,500
Camps -$500
Kids Activities -$167
Cleaner -$300
Cars -$200
Utils -$375
Med -$133
Shop Misc -$625

----------------------------
Discretionary Total -$5,007
----------------------------

Holidays -$250
Vacation -$667
Beach Week -$417

----------------------------
Travel Total -$1,333
----------------------------

----------------------------
Net Savings $1,561
----------------------------


You're going to pay far more in tuition payments than you would be in extra mortgage payments


+1 Theoretically, based on this budget, OP could spend up to 10.6k on mortgage payments (disclaimer: I am not advising this course of action). Bet you could get good public schools with that budget! And the mortgage won't increase 3-5%/year.


That would be on a cash flow basis yes, but that is signing up for a 30-year mortgage, and of course if housing prices fall we could be very vulnerable.

Our current home we purchased for $1.2M; so if we sell we think we could swing a $1.6M house. So suggest a top school district with move in ready 4-bedroom SFH for $1.6M with short commute to capital hill (we go in 3x week). And then we can discuss if that school district is actually performing -- we hear a lot of grief from all public school districts, and we how they are not really concerned about the high achieving students and kind of leave them to their own devices these days.


The point is you could go higher than $1.6 because you're currently throwing almost $6k/month at school. And it doesn't make much sense that a thirty year mortgage would unsettle you right after you stated you're planning to work until your 70s to make up for your low savings rate now. You can sell and downsize when your last kid goes to college and recapture some of that expense, but you can never get back the ~$70k/year you're spending on private schools.

Your comment about how good schools aren't actually good anyway tells me that you're not really open to a solution other than your preferred private school.


We are paying $6k/month for at most 12 years, and we can stop anytime. Buying a much more expensive house, we are signing up for that $6k/month for 30 years and can't stop unless we sell our house (which could be underwater if current market IS a bubble -- I have no idea, but we aren't keen on stretching ourselves that much and finding out).



3k of mortgage is about 500k. That plus the 5k you are paying now buys hour a house in a great district
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So we have a disagreement on whether we should continue private school, coming down to how to afford it and not have to sacrifice travel (which is very important to my spouse for both visiting family as well as exposing our kids to the world)

So the biggest concern is that we will have to reduce vacation travel and not be saving enough for college.

Here's our budget, and I'm posting it here because I want the Independent school perspective; money forum will surely tear this stuff apart. We have 3 kids, though they will only be in private school 2 at time because of the age difference; we will have college costs along with private school, but at that point loans would be an option. House is an old crummy house with an addition, which is nice enough but expensive because it is close in with "good" schools which we now realize are circling the drain.

We have considered moving, but house prices have gone up so much in places that we think would be better options and it just seems insurrmountable and we aren't even sure public schools are actually better there (we hear a lot of bad news about FCPS, MCPS, APS on this forum, so hard to tell what is truth) Kids are thriving at private, so we are reluctant to rock the boat.

Take home Income $20,040

House -$5,100
Extended Day -$300
Life Insurance -$200
Music Lessons -$456
Internet -$50
Mobile -$300
Private School -$5,667

----------------------------
Fixed Total -$12,139
----------------------------

Home Repair -$1,167
Streaming -$40
Groceries -$1,500
Camps -$500
Kids Activities -$167
Cleaner -$300
Cars -$200
Utils -$375
Med -$133
Shop Misc -$625

----------------------------
Discretionary Total -$5,007
----------------------------

Holidays -$250
Vacation -$667
Beach Week -$417

----------------------------
Travel Total -$1,333
----------------------------

----------------------------
Net Savings $1,561
----------------------------


You're going to pay far more in tuition payments than you would be in extra mortgage payments


+1 Theoretically, based on this budget, OP could spend up to 10.6k on mortgage payments (disclaimer: I am not advising this course of action). Bet you could get good public schools with that budget! And the mortgage won't increase 3-5%/year.


That would be on a cash flow basis yes, but that is signing up for a 30-year mortgage, and of course if housing prices fall we could be very vulnerable.

Our current home we purchased for $1.2M; so if we sell we think we could swing a $1.6M house. So suggest a top school district with move in ready 4-bedroom SFH for $1.6M with short commute to capital hill (we go in 3x week). And then we can discuss if that school district is actually performing -- we hear a lot of grief from all public school districts, and we how they are not really concerned about the high achieving students and kind of leave them to their own devices these days.


The point is you could go higher than $1.6 because you're currently throwing almost $6k/month at school. And it doesn't make much sense that a thirty year mortgage would unsettle you right after you stated you're planning to work until your 70s to make up for your low savings rate now. You can sell and downsize when your last kid goes to college and recapture some of that expense, but you can never get back the ~$70k/year you're spending on private schools.

Your comment about how good schools aren't actually good anyway tells me that you're not really open to a solution other than your preferred private school.


At current rates, a $1.7M would be $2k/month more which is about a wash for the total we spend on tuition for all 3 kids over the timespan we are considering.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So we have a disagreement on whether we should continue private school, coming down to how to afford it and not have to sacrifice travel (which is very important to my spouse for both visiting family as well as exposing our kids to the world)

So the biggest concern is that we will have to reduce vacation travel and not be saving enough for college.

Here's our budget, and I'm posting it here because I want the Independent school perspective; money forum will surely tear this stuff apart. We have 3 kids, though they will only be in private school 2 at time because of the age difference; we will have college costs along with private school, but at that point loans would be an option. House is an old crummy house with an addition, which is nice enough but expensive because it is close in with "good" schools which we now realize are circling the drain.

We have considered moving, but house prices have gone up so much in places that we think would be better options and it just seems insurrmountable and we aren't even sure public schools are actually better there (we hear a lot of bad news about FCPS, MCPS, APS on this forum, so hard to tell what is truth) Kids are thriving at private, so we are reluctant to rock the boat.

Take home Income $20,040

House -$5,100
Extended Day -$300
Life Insurance -$200
Music Lessons -$456
Internet -$50
Mobile -$300
Private School -$5,667

----------------------------
Fixed Total -$12,139
----------------------------

Home Repair -$1,167
Streaming -$40
Groceries -$1,500
Camps -$500
Kids Activities -$167
Cleaner -$300
Cars -$200
Utils -$375
Med -$133
Shop Misc -$625

----------------------------
Discretionary Total -$5,007
----------------------------

Holidays -$250
Vacation -$667
Beach Week -$417

----------------------------
Travel Total -$1,333
----------------------------

----------------------------
Net Savings $1,561
----------------------------


You're going to pay far more in tuition payments than you would be in extra mortgage payments


+1 Theoretically, based on this budget, OP could spend up to 10.6k on mortgage payments (disclaimer: I am not advising this course of action). Bet you could get good public schools with that budget! And the mortgage won't increase 3-5%/year.


That would be on a cash flow basis yes, but that is signing up for a 30-year mortgage, and of course if housing prices fall we could be very vulnerable.

Our current home we purchased for $1.2M; so if we sell we think we could swing a $1.6M house. So suggest a top school district with move in ready 4-bedroom SFH for $1.6M with short commute to capital hill (we go in 3x week). And then we can discuss if that school district is actually performing -- we hear a lot of grief from all public school districts, and we how they are not really concerned about the high achieving students and kind of leave them to their own devices these days.


The point is you could go higher than $1.6 because you're currently throwing almost $6k/month at school. And it doesn't make much sense that a thirty year mortgage would unsettle you right after you stated you're planning to work until your 70s to make up for your low savings rate now. You can sell and downsize when your last kid goes to college and recapture some of that expense, but you can never get back the ~$70k/year you're spending on private schools.

Your comment about how good schools aren't actually good anyway tells me that you're not really open to a solution other than your preferred private school.


We are paying $6k/month for at most 12 years, and we can stop anytime. Buying a much more expensive house, we are signing up for that $6k/month for 30 years and can't stop unless we sell our house (which could be underwater if current market IS a bubble -- I have no idea, but we aren't keen on stretching ourselves that much and finding out).



3k of mortgage is about 500k. That plus the 5k you are paying now buys hour a house in a great district


Which school district are you looking at? What mortgage rate, they are alread at 5%
Anonymous

With 3 children and that budget, you're not wealthy enough for private school, college and retirement. Please no college loans - they will burden your for decades. In-state total cost for college is at least 30K a year now, but these prices have always risen faster than inflation, so you might be paying outrageous sums in the future!

Go to your "good" public school and be attentive parents and invest your savings. You will need them.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So we have a disagreement on whether we should continue private school, coming down to how to afford it and not have to sacrifice travel (which is very important to my spouse for both visiting family as well as exposing our kids to the world)

So the biggest concern is that we will have to reduce vacation travel and not be saving enough for college.

Here's our budget, and I'm posting it here because I want the Independent school perspective; money forum will surely tear this stuff apart. We have 3 kids, though they will only be in private school 2 at time because of the age difference; we will have college costs along with private school, but at that point loans would be an option. House is an old crummy house with an addition, which is nice enough but expensive because it is close in with "good" schools which we now realize are circling the drain.

We have considered moving, but house prices have gone up so much in places that we think would be better options and it just seems insurrmountable and we aren't even sure public schools are actually better there (we hear a lot of bad news about FCPS, MCPS, APS on this forum, so hard to tell what is truth) Kids are thriving at private, so we are reluctant to rock the boat.

Take home Income $20,040

House -$5,100
Extended Day -$300
Life Insurance -$200
Music Lessons -$456
Internet -$50
Mobile -$300
Private School -$5,667

----------------------------
Fixed Total -$12,139
----------------------------

Home Repair -$1,167
Streaming -$40
Groceries -$1,500
Camps -$500
Kids Activities -$167
Cleaner -$300
Cars -$200
Utils -$375
Med -$133
Shop Misc -$625

----------------------------
Discretionary Total -$5,007
----------------------------

Holidays -$250
Vacation -$667
Beach Week -$417

----------------------------
Travel Total -$1,333
----------------------------

----------------------------
Net Savings $1,561
----------------------------


You're going to pay far more in tuition payments than you would be in extra mortgage payments


+1 Theoretically, based on this budget, OP could spend up to 10.6k on mortgage payments (disclaimer: I am not advising this course of action). Bet you could get good public schools with that budget! And the mortgage won't increase 3-5%/year.


That would be on a cash flow basis yes, but that is signing up for a 30-year mortgage, and of course if housing prices fall we could be very vulnerable.

Our current home we purchased for $1.2M; so if we sell we think we could swing a $1.6M house. So suggest a top school district with move in ready 4-bedroom SFH for $1.6M with short commute to capital hill (we go in 3x week). And then we can discuss if that school district is actually performing -- we hear a lot of grief from all public school districts, and we how they are not really concerned about the high achieving students and kind of leave them to their own devices these days.


The point is you could go higher than $1.6 because you're currently throwing almost $6k/month at school. And it doesn't make much sense that a thirty year mortgage would unsettle you right after you stated you're planning to work until your 70s to make up for your low savings rate now. You can sell and downsize when your last kid goes to college and recapture some of that expense, but you can never get back the ~$70k/year you're spending on private schools.

Your comment about how good schools aren't actually good anyway tells me that you're not really open to a solution other than your preferred private school.


We are paying $6k/month for at most 12 years, and we can stop anytime. Buying a much more expensive house, we are signing up for that $6k/month for 30 years and can't stop unless we sell our house (which could be underwater if current market IS a bubble -- I have no idea, but we aren't keen on stretching ourselves that much and finding out).


And again: you don't have to spend all of that $6k in addition to your current mortgage budget to get a house over $1.6. You could get into a better public school and still save money over your current budget (if you were willing to accept that any public schools could be good). You say you could quit the $6k private school any time, but you don't actually seem willing to quit, even though it's a big stretch now and you don't have any budget wiggle room for the inevitable tuition increases (or college savings!). My point is there's no stretch or sacrifice you won't consider for the school you prefer, but you don't seem willing to consider any changes for your DH's position. I'm not going to go back and forth about this, but I hope you realize you're taking contradictory positions here.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So we have a disagreement on whether we should continue private school, coming down to how to afford it and not have to sacrifice travel (which is very important to my spouse for both visiting family as well as exposing our kids to the world)

So the biggest concern is that we will have to reduce vacation travel and not be saving enough for college.

Here's our budget, and I'm posting it here because I want the Independent school perspective; money forum will surely tear this stuff apart. We have 3 kids, though they will only be in private school 2 at time because of the age difference; we will have college costs along with private school, but at that point loans would be an option. House is an old crummy house with an addition, which is nice enough but expensive because it is close in with "good" schools which we now realize are circling the drain.

We have considered moving, but house prices have gone up so much in places that we think would be better options and it just seems insurrmountable and we aren't even sure public schools are actually better there (we hear a lot of bad news about FCPS, MCPS, APS on this forum, so hard to tell what is truth) Kids are thriving at private, so we are reluctant to rock the boat.

Take home Income $20,040

House -$5,100
Extended Day -$300
Life Insurance -$200
Music Lessons -$456
Internet -$50
Mobile -$300
Private School -$5,667

----------------------------
Fixed Total -$12,139
----------------------------

Home Repair -$1,167
Streaming -$40
Groceries -$1,500
Camps -$500
Kids Activities -$167
Cleaner -$300
Cars -$200
Utils -$375
Med -$133
Shop Misc -$625

----------------------------
Discretionary Total -$5,007
----------------------------

Holidays -$250
Vacation -$667
Beach Week -$417

----------------------------
Travel Total -$1,333
----------------------------

----------------------------
Net Savings $1,561
----------------------------


You're going to pay far more in tuition payments than you would be in extra mortgage payments


+1 Theoretically, based on this budget, OP could spend up to 10.6k on mortgage payments (disclaimer: I am not advising this course of action). Bet you could get good public schools with that budget! And the mortgage won't increase 3-5%/year.


That would be on a cash flow basis yes, but that is signing up for a 30-year mortgage, and of course if housing prices fall we could be very vulnerable.

Our current home we purchased for $1.2M; so if we sell we think we could swing a $1.6M house. So suggest a top school district with move in ready 4-bedroom SFH for $1.6M with short commute to capital hill (we go in 3x week). And then we can discuss if that school district is actually performing -- we hear a lot of grief from all public school districts, and we how they are not really concerned about the high achieving students and kind of leave them to their own devices these days.


The point is you could go higher than $1.6 because you're currently throwing almost $6k/month at school. And it doesn't make much sense that a thirty year mortgage would unsettle you right after you stated you're planning to work until your 70s to make up for your low savings rate now. You can sell and downsize when your last kid goes to college and recapture some of that expense, but you can never get back the ~$70k/year you're spending on private schools.

Your comment about how good schools aren't actually good anyway tells me that you're not really open to a solution other than your preferred private school.


At current rates, a $1.7M would be $2k/month more which is about a wash for the total we spend on tuition for all 3 kids over the timespan we are considering.


It's only a wash if you think your $1.7 house would be worth $1.2 or less when your youngest kid graduates.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
With 3 children and that budget, you're not wealthy enough for private school, college and retirement. Please no college loans - they will burden your for decades. In-state total cost for college is at least 30K a year now, but these prices have always risen faster than inflation, so you might be paying outrageous sums in the future!

Go to your "good" public school and be attentive parents and invest your savings. You will need them.



Which public schools aren't a train wreck now? We hate to move and be in same pickle but with a higher mortgage and longer commute...
Anonymous
I would need to know more specifically how much you have already saved and are currently saving for retirement. If you are saving 15% of gross annual income a year and have $1M or so in investments, you might be alright. If you have a 15 year old (9th grader) plus a 12 year old (6th grader) and a kid at least 6 years younger that that, I'm going to assume you are in your early to mid-40's. That means you aren't young, but you also aren't terribly old. Money is a tool and you should spend it how you want to. Everyone has their priorities.

Your take home pay is $240,480 and you said you are maxing out two 401(k) plans which is $37,000. With an effective state/income/payroll tax rate of 33%, that means you are grossing $370k or thereabouts. Since you are budgeting that $5k for private school now, you can use that to cash flow college as well. If your kids go to state schools, that could be enough to get them through undergrad without loans.

The problem is that 15% of $370k gross income, which is the minimum you should be putting aside for retirement is $55,400, so your $37,000 in savings is not enough. Now you said your DH has a pension so that could fill the gap if the pension is well-funded and certain. You will need to look at your retirement plans closely to determine how to proceed. If you have solid retirement savings already, the pension is in good shape, and maybe some family money coming at some point, I think you can make it work.

Then the question becomes is this how you want to spend most of your money for the next 18 or so years until the youngest is through college? It will mean no extravagant travel, no fancy summer camps, limited test prep enrichment, longer working years, probably a leaner retirement, etc. If those are tradeoffs that matter for private school, then I don't think you will be destitute or anything. I can tell you as a 48 year old that I was all about working until I was 70 until my DH developed some health conditions and I learned that a genetic form of blindness affects most females in my family...you want a back up plan that you are comfortable with. My DH has quit and I would like to enjoy my 60s while I hopefully still have vision.

Good luck, you're going to be ok either way. It's a question of your priorities...
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:So we have a disagreement on whether we should continue private school, coming down to how to afford it and not have to sacrifice travel (which is very important to my spouse for both visiting family as well as exposing our kids to the world)

So the biggest concern is that we will have to reduce vacation travel and not be saving enough for college.

Here's our budget, and I'm posting it here because I want the Independent school perspective; money forum will surely tear this stuff apart. We have 3 kids, though they will only be in private school 2 at time because of the age difference; we will have college costs along with private school, but at that point loans would be an option. House is an old crummy house with an addition, which is nice enough but expensive because it is close in with "good" schools which we now realize are circling the drain.

We have considered moving, but house prices have gone up so much in places that we think would be better options and it just seems insurrmountable and we aren't even sure public schools are actually better there (we hear a lot of bad news about FCPS, MCPS, APS on this forum, so hard to tell what is truth) Kids are thriving at private, so we are reluctant to rock the boat.

Take home Income $20,040

House -$5,100
Extended Day -$300
Life Insurance -$200
Music Lessons -$456
Internet -$50
Mobile -$300
Private School -$5,667

----------------------------
Fixed Total -$12,139
----------------------------

Home Repair -$1,167
Streaming -$40
Groceries -$1,500
Camps -$500
Kids Activities -$167
Cleaner -$300
Cars -$200
Utils -$375
Med -$133
Shop Misc -$625

----------------------------
Discretionary Total -$5,007
----------------------------

Holidays -$250
Vacation -$667
Beach Week -$417

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Travel Total -$1,333
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Net Savings $1,561
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You're going to pay far more in tuition payments than you would be in extra mortgage payments


+1 Theoretically, based on this budget, OP could spend up to 10.6k on mortgage payments (disclaimer: I am not advising this course of action). Bet you could get good public schools with that budget! And the mortgage won't increase 3-5%/year.


That would be on a cash flow basis yes, but that is signing up for a 30-year mortgage, and of course if housing prices fall we could be very vulnerable.

Our current home we purchased for $1.2M; so if we sell we think we could swing a $1.6M house. So suggest a top school district with move in ready 4-bedroom SFH for $1.6M with short commute to capital hill (we go in 3x week). And then we can discuss if that school district is actually performing -- we hear a lot of grief from all public school districts, and we how they are not really concerned about the high achieving students and kind of leave them to their own devices these days.


The point is you could go higher than $1.6 because you're currently throwing almost $6k/month at school. And it doesn't make much sense that a thirty year mortgage would unsettle you right after you stated you're planning to work until your 70s to make up for your low savings rate now. You can sell and downsize when your last kid goes to college and recapture some of that expense, but you can never get back the ~$70k/year you're spending on private schools.

Your comment about how good schools aren't actually good anyway tells me that you're not really open to a solution other than your preferred private school.


At current rates, a $1.7M would be $2k/month more which is about a wash for the total we spend on tuition for all 3 kids over the timespan we are considering.


It's only a wash if you think your $1.7 house would be worth $1.2 or less when your youngest kid graduates.


It very well could be. With WFH DC could become Detroit for all we know.
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