Budgeting for Private School -- Convince my spouse

[Anonymous]

It won’t work if budget is tight and you have to “convince your spouse”. Honestly, don’t put that kind of strain on your marriage. Private school isn’t worth that.

[Anonymous]

I think you should go to a financial planner to sort this out + not ask on an anonymous forum. I think you have too many kids on your budget to afford private, but maybe a financial planner would see it otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to chill out a little. You must save for college.
My kids are in DCPS. I’m sure you would find the schools unacceptable.
We have had ups and downs but the kids are learning and we also try to do a little enrichment.
My oldest is now at an Ivy and got all As her first year. I don’t think the schools are as bad as you think.
I’m sure privates are better but we could not pay for private and save a ton for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are living in a $1.2 million home and make over $300,000, based on your posts. Why would you think that you would get aid for private school? You are probably not going to get anything for college.

You have options, you just don’t like those options.

Yet everyone hear says that we will? I had to do it because spouse made it contingent on applying at all.

What option gives us rigorous schools and reasonable commutes with a 4 bedroom SFH? Pretty achievable middle class life.

Sounds exactly like my childhood 15 years ago.

…in rust belt Eastern Pa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to chill out a little. You must save for college.
My kids are in DCPS. I’m sure you would find the schools unacceptable.
We have had ups and downs but the kids are learning and we also try to do a little enrichment.
My oldest is now at an Ivy and got all As her first year. I don’t think the schools are as bad as you think.
I’m sure privates are better but we could not pay for private and save a ton for college.

I would like to hear more about your experience. Readiness for college is my biggest concern and you seemed to take what you are reporting is a lackluster public education and fill in the gaps. And got accepted to an Ivy (which is not our goal — I’m an Ivy alum and have no love for them) which is impressive and means your DD had options. What do you think was her hook to stand out? Did she start a non profit or something?

[Anonymous]

I might be the only one who thinks this but it looks like you’ve got this mostly figured out and can proceed with the budget you noted. You’ve already maximized your retirement savings and otherwise can afford everything in your budget with a little to spare. It would be better if there was more to spare but I think that’s true of most people’s budgets. We are a family that is spending $75k on our kids’ private school tuition next year on a $450k income, it’s a stretch but we also manage to maximize our retirement savings and are paying down our mortgage early so it doesn’t impede many of our other goals. If private school is worth it to you then that’s where you put your $$.

[Anonymous]

All IB programs start in 11th grade but there are pre reqs that the kids have to take to be considered for the IB program. Most of the kids are taking the Honors classes in high school to prepare for the IB classes. We are not in APS but are in a pyramid with an IB school. Most of the kids in the IB program discuss how the classes leading into IB and the IB classes are challenging, there doesn't seem to be much slack. I would be surprised if kids who are behind are taking the honors classes in HS. I know that the kids behind in our MS are not taking honors classes in MS so I am surprised that you are having issues in MS. But I don't know the schools you are talking about and what the options are there.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the divide between public and private is as great as you make it. My kids are in private and public. APS high school. It is pretty good. The private is better but not a huge difference. My public school kid is still learning a lot. He did not want to move to private and we gave him the choice. He is definitely less coddled than our private school kid but I think that is a good thing

[Anonymous]

OP all your comments seem to trash ALL the area public school systems without a lot of direct knowledge of any of them. Sure there's tons of complaining on DCUM about MCPS, FCPS, and the rest, and the class sizes are definitely larger than private. But there are great public schools in this area with tons of smart, motivated kids who get good educations and go on to very competitive colleges.

You also don't seem to understand that your kids won't have the option of paying for school with loans - there are strict limits on loans that undergrads can take out nowadays (somewhere around $5500/yr.) And at your income, your kids won't be eligible for financial aid. They can hunt for merit aid, but the top schools don't give merit. So what are you going to tell them when it's time to apply for college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I might be the only one who thinks this but it looks like you’ve got this mostly figured out and can proceed with the budget you noted. You’ve already maximized your retirement savings and otherwise can afford everything in your budget with a little to spare. It would be better if there was more to spare but I think that’s true of most people’s budgets. We are a family that is spending $75k on our kids’ private school tuition next year on a $450k income, it’s a stretch but we also manage to maximize our retirement savings and are paying down our mortgage early so it doesn’t impede many of our other goals. If private school is worth it to you then that’s where you put your $$.

It’s not a stretch at all if you scale back other expenses.

[Anonymous]

I think your budget sounds tight. $5K for a beach vacation for 5 -- where? What happens if you need a new car? Also, kids only get more expensive, trust me. But, we also prioritized other things over private school, so keep that in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You definitely can’t afford it, you make no mention of retirement, investments, or savings. Seems you’re living beyond your means in several areas. If you take another job you could swing it or move somewhere that a house payment doesn’t cost $5100

As mentioned before retirement is included on “after tax” part. But nothing outside 401k

Still can’t afford it, you have no Roth. You’re scraping by living above your means. Pipe dream

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Blair magnet is highly selective and the admissions cycle is complete for next fall. You'd be better going to Richard Montgomery where you can take Honors classes starting in 9th grade and choose to enter the IB program in 11th if you qualify. In truth, your kid can get a great education at any FCPS or MCPS school. I'm confused about where you live, though. If you are in DC, then you have school choice. If you are near to DC, APS, FCPS, MCPS, with a short commute to Capitol Hill, your home school is fine. Not perfect, but neither is a private school. I mean sure, we'd all like our kids to be in small classes with great teachers from K-12, but that's not always realistic. Middle school at public is pretty bad IMO, which is why we did private for K-8 and then switched to public in 9th. That might be a good compromise for you. Seriously, though, what district close to Capitol Hill has you living in a place where your zoned high school is truly awful? Are you in PG County?

I haven't provided the details because I fear my spouse will find this thread if someone recognizes me, but we are in APS zoned for Swanson and W-L. Swanson was a train wreck for my kids; they basically were only engaged for 30 minutes a day, spent the rest of class time reading, drawing, sometimes napping -- and that was before the pandemic, and then everything went out the window and it was "no new learning" spring, followed by a year of "won't anyone turn on their camera" or "so-so, are you there" virtual schooling. we left for private and it was night and day, as did almost all of the kids who were in our elementary gifted cohort.

now swanson is apparently undergoing with fights, vandelism in the bathrooms, some kid running around with a taser? and i'm sure the teachers are 100% focused on catching the kids up and readying for SOLs, rather than ensuring children who are on track are engaged and actually spending the day learning. its just a numbers and incentive game; though they may enjoy teaching the interested kids, there are no rewards for pushing them further than required by the standards, but there are penalities if the kids who are struggling don't improve on the SOLs, and there are many more of those struggling students these days. on top of that, APS is going to standards based learning: no grades, re-take tests, continue no homework.

we had planned to return for IB at WL, but once we started digging into it, we realized IB starts at 11th grade, and basically 9th and 10th will be just like our experience in swanson. except the school will now be nearly 3000 kids because they built an addition on the 2000 student school, and even though no high schools were still over crowded after the great exodus, they are still moving over 200 kids/year for the next 3 years to justify spending $30M converting office space to classrooms. so they are making WL an unreasonable size, and the differentiation and rigor we were hoping would finally be starting got kicked down the road until 11th grade.
$7
as for cost, here's how we see it: we are going private for mostly high school (other kids are different and I think will be okay at Swanson as long as the disturbances subside), so $60k * 4 * 3 -> $720k. Let's say we just bought a house $720k more than our $1.2M house -- $1.92M that would not get a similar 4 bedroom SFH in any highly ranked close in FCPS or MCPS high school, even before you consider additional interest costs. House prices have gone up that much, its insane. I wish we had moved to McLean 10 years ago, we thought that APS would be a good school district, but realize now that parents are happy here because anyone who is concerned for academic rigor leaves for FCPS early, despite the longer commutes. APS parents are just way more chill, for better or for worse, but doesn't fit our family.

Real estate agent here. Yes prices have gone up, but there’s 4+ bedroom homes on the market this moment in McLean for less than $1.92. If that’s your measure, you are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You definitely can’t afford it, you make no mention of retirement, investments, or savings. Seems you’re living beyond your means in several areas. If you take another job you could swing it or move somewhere that a house payment doesn’t cost $5100

As mentioned before retirement is included on “after tax” part. But nothing outside 401k

Still can’t afford it, you have no Roth. You’re scraping by living above your means. Pipe dream

It’s the “nothing outside of 401k” that is most alarming.

Agree that they still can’t afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Blair magnet is highly selective and the admissions cycle is complete for next fall. You'd be better going to Richard Montgomery where you can take Honors classes starting in 9th grade and choose to enter the IB program in 11th if you qualify. In truth, your kid can get a great education at any FCPS or MCPS school. I'm confused about where you live, though. If you are in DC, then you have school choice. If you are near to DC, APS, FCPS, MCPS, with a short commute to Capitol Hill, your home school is fine. Not perfect, but neither is a private school. I mean sure, we'd all like our kids to be in small classes with great teachers from K-12, but that's not always realistic. Middle school at public is pretty bad IMO, which is why we did private for K-8 and then switched to public in 9th. That might be a good compromise for you. Seriously, though, what district close to Capitol Hill has you living in a place where your zoned high school is truly awful? Are you in PG County?

I haven't provided the details because I fear my spouse will find this thread if someone recognizes me, but we are in APS zoned for Swanson and W-L. Swanson was a train wreck for my kids; they basically were only engaged for 30 minutes a day, spent the rest of class time reading, drawing, sometimes napping -- and that was before the pandemic, and then everything went out the window and it was "no new learning" spring, followed by a year of "won't anyone turn on their camera" or "so-so, are you there" virtual schooling. we left for private and it was night and day, as did almost all of the kids who were in our elementary gifted cohort.

now swanson is apparently undergoing with fights, vandelism in the bathrooms, some kid running around with a taser? and i'm sure the teachers are 100% focused on catching the kids up and readying for SOLs, rather than ensuring children who are on track are engaged and actually spending the day learning. its just a numbers and incentive game; though they may enjoy teaching the interested kids, there are no rewards for pushing them further than required by the standards, but there are penalities if the kids who are struggling don't improve on the SOLs, and there are many more of those struggling students these days. on top of that, APS is going to standards based learning: no grades, re-take tests, continue no homework.

we had planned to return for IB at WL, but once we started digging into it, we realized IB starts at 11th grade, and basically 9th and 10th will be just like our experience in swanson. except the school will now be nearly 3000 kids because they built an addition on the 2000 student school, and even though no high schools were still over crowded after the great exodus, they are still moving over 200 kids/year for the next 3 years to justify spending $30M converting office space to classrooms. so they are making WL an unreasonable size, and the differentiation and rigor we were hoping would finally be starting got kicked down the road until 11th grade.
$7
as for cost, here's how we see it: we are going private for mostly high school (other kids are different and I think will be okay at Swanson as long as the disturbances subside), so $60k * 4 * 3 -> $720k. Let's say we just bought a house $720k more than our $1.2M house -- $1.92M that would not get a similar 4 bedroom SFH in any highly ranked close in FCPS or MCPS high school, even before you consider additional interest costs. House prices have gone up that much, its insane. I wish we had moved to McLean 10 years ago, we thought that APS would be a good school district, but realize now that parents are happy here because anyone who is concerned for academic rigor leaves for FCPS early, despite the longer commutes. APS parents are just way more chill, for better or for worse, but doesn't fit our family.

Real estate agent here. Yes prices have gone up, but there’s 4+ bedroom homes on the market this moment in McLean for less than $1.92. If that’s your measure, you are fine.

I see two houses on incredibly busy roads and a super shady flip. That's it. Just a different bad investment than private school.