What did you think having 3 kids and working full time would be like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we should think of ways that our society is failing parents of 3+? All parents are likely struggling with the same issues.

For me, 3 has been sweet. The first two are best friends and then when the 3rd was born they loved her immensely. They help us a lot with her. DH is a full 50% partner. We both stagger our hours- I work 7-3:30. DH works 9-5:30. He does drop off and I do pickup. My parents are incredibly involved, but we see their involvement as "cake". They take each kid out weekly on a special adventure and help each kid feel special. DH and I both try to spend individual time with each.

Our main issue has been with schools. They basically learn next to nothing in school (mine are elementary), they barely are ever in school, there's tons of random days off, weeks off and then long summers off. It's just hell trying to find care/camps for it all. It's like this mashup of care that parents have to cobble together. We also are shocked by how much extra tutoring they expect kids to receive. With so many kids failing, maybe they should rethink school hours? Is 6.5 hours really enough? Maybe 8 should be better to align with parents' schedules and to help teachers have enough time to teach?? They go off to multiple different specials daily, so that would give teachers time for planning.

Lol, extra involved and helpful grandparents who partake in childcare weekly are not cake. They are the reason you have survived. People without family help truly have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we should think of ways that our society is failing parents of 3+? All parents are likely struggling with the same issues.

For me, 3 has been sweet. The first two are best friends and then when the 3rd was born they loved her immensely. They help us a lot with her. DH is a full 50% partner. We both stagger our hours- I work 7-3:30. DH works 9-5:30. He does drop off and I do pickup. My parents are incredibly involved, but we see their involvement as "cake". They take each kid out weekly on a special adventure and help each kid feel special. DH and I both try to spend individual time with each.

Our main issue has been with schools. They basically learn next to nothing in school (mine are elementary), they barely are ever in school, there's tons of random days off, weeks off and then long summers off. It's just hell trying to find care/camps for it all. It's like this mashup of care that parents have to cobble together. We also are shocked by how much extra tutoring they expect kids to receive. With so many kids failing, maybe they should rethink school hours? Is 6.5 hours really enough? Maybe 8 should be better to align with parents' schedules and to help teachers have enough time to teach?? They go off to multiple different specials daily, so that would give teachers time for planning.

Lol, extra involved and helpful grandparents who partake in childcare weekly are not cake. They are the reason you have survived. People without family help truly have no idea.

I disagree. Sounds to me like the success is due to a husband who does his fair share, including structuring his work hours a certain way. Three kids seems to be especially hard on moms who have to do it all on their own and work FT. It is beyond me why women in that situation continue to have child after child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we should think of ways that our society is failing parents of 3+? All parents are likely struggling with the same issues.

For me, 3 has been sweet. The first two are best friends and then when the 3rd was born they loved her immensely. They help us a lot with her. DH is a full 50% partner. We both stagger our hours- I work 7-3:30. DH works 9-5:30. He does drop off and I do pickup. My parents are incredibly involved, but we see their involvement as "cake". They take each kid out weekly on a special adventure and help each kid feel special. DH and I both try to spend individual time with each.

Our main issue has been with schools. They basically learn next to nothing in school (mine are elementary), they barely are ever in school, there's tons of random days off, weeks off and then long summers off. It's just hell trying to find care/camps for it all. It's like this mashup of care that parents have to cobble together. We also are shocked by how much extra tutoring they expect kids to receive. With so many kids failing, maybe they should rethink school hours? Is 6.5 hours really enough? Maybe 8 should be better to align with parents' schedules and to help teachers have enough time to teach?? They go off to multiple different specials daily, so that would give teachers time for planning.

Lol, extra involved and helpful grandparents who partake in childcare weekly are not cake. They are the reason you have survived. People without family help truly have no idea.

+100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we should think of ways that our society is failing parents of 3+? All parents are likely struggling with the same issues.

For me, 3 has been sweet. The first two are best friends and then when the 3rd was born they loved her immensely. They help us a lot with her. DH is a full 50% partner. We both stagger our hours- I work 7-3:30. DH works 9-5:30. He does drop off and I do pickup. My parents are incredibly involved, but we see their involvement as "cake". They take each kid out weekly on a special adventure and help each kid feel special. DH and I both try to spend individual time with each.

Our main issue has been with schools. They basically learn next to nothing in school (mine are elementary), they barely are ever in school, there's tons of random days off, weeks off and then long summers off. It's just hell trying to find care/camps for it all. It's like this mashup of care that parents have to cobble together. We also are shocked by how much extra tutoring they expect kids to receive. With so many kids failing, maybe they should rethink school hours? Is 6.5 hours really enough? Maybe 8 should be better to align with parents' schedules and to help teachers have enough time to teach?? They go off to multiple different specials daily, so that would give teachers time for planning.

Lol, extra involved and helpful grandparents who partake in childcare weekly are not cake. They are the reason you have survived. People without family help truly have no idea.

I agree. In addition to the actual childcare they are providing, they're helping to fill each kid's emotional cup. Imagine a week where not only did you have maybe a half day total of extra parenting (3 kids x 2 hours each) but also needed to give those kids more individually in addition to having less time to do it. It amounts to tons of time and emotional investment. Which is awesome, and nothing to pooh Pooh as cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we should think of ways that our society is failing parents of 3+? All parents are likely struggling with the same issues.

For me, 3 has been sweet. The first two are best friends and then when the 3rd was born they loved her immensely. They help us a lot with her. DH is a full 50% partner. We both stagger our hours- I work 7-3:30. DH works 9-5:30. He does drop off and I do pickup. My parents are incredibly involved, but we see their involvement as "cake". They take each kid out weekly on a special adventure and help each kid feel special. DH and I both try to spend individual time with each.

Our main issue has been with schools. They basically learn next to nothing in school (mine are elementary), they barely are ever in school, there's tons of random days off, weeks off and then long summers off. It's just hell trying to find care/camps for it all. It's like this mashup of care that parents have to cobble together. We also are shocked by how much extra tutoring they expect kids to receive. With so many kids failing, maybe they should rethink school hours? Is 6.5 hours really enough? Maybe 8 should be better to align with parents' schedules and to help teachers have enough time to teach?? They go off to multiple different specials daily, so that would give teachers time for planning.

Lol, extra involved and helpful grandparents who partake in childcare weekly are not cake. They are the reason you have survived. People without family help truly have no idea.

I agree. In addition to the actual childcare they are providing, they're helping to fill each kid's emotional cup. Imagine a week where not only did you have maybe a half day total of extra parenting (3 kids x 2 hours each) but also needed to give those kids more individually in addition to having less time to do it. It amounts to tons of time and emotional investment. Which is awesome, and nothing to pooh Pooh as cake.

DP, and I totally agree. What this PP describes (a special outing for each kid with the grandparents, *every week*) is a huge contribution. Appreciate this gift and acknowledge that you don’t know what you don’t know, i.e., raising three kids without “incredibly involved” grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we should think of ways that our society is failing parents of 3+? All parents are likely struggling with the same issues.

For me, 3 has been sweet. The first two are best friends and then when the 3rd was born they loved her immensely. They help us a lot with her. DH is a full 50% partner. We both stagger our hours- I work 7-3:30. DH works 9-5:30. He does drop off and I do pickup. My parents are incredibly involved, but we see their involvement as "cake". They take each kid out weekly on a special adventure and help each kid feel special. DH and I both try to spend individual time with each.

Our main issue has been with schools. They basically learn next to nothing in school (mine are elementary), they barely are ever in school, there's tons of random days off, weeks off and then long summers off. It's just hell trying to find care/camps for it all. It's like this mashup of care that parents have to cobble together. We also are shocked by how much extra tutoring they expect kids to receive. With so many kids failing, maybe they should rethink school hours? Is 6.5 hours really enough? Maybe 8 should be better to align with parents' schedules and to help teachers have enough time to teach?? They go off to multiple different specials daily, so that would give teachers time for planning.

Lol, extra involved and helpful grandparents who partake in childcare weekly are not cake. They are the reason you have survived. People without family help truly have no idea.

+100.

+ 200. I’m rolling laughing at the poster who thinks grandparents as “cake”. So ADORABLE of her. 10:1 her “cake” parents here her complaints about public school and spring for private? Come on, we ALL know this poster.