What did you think having 3 kids and working full time would be like?

[Anonymous]

These aren't people coming and saying "well, I had three kids, and I work 110 hours a week, we live on food stamps, we beat the kids regularly because we can't handle the whining, we are really mad that they spilled juice on our pristine white upholstered furniture, the youngest needs glasses but we just tell him to squint, and we are considering a fourth, what do you think?"

I laughed so hard at this that I cried. Thank you mom of two. You are the modern-day Irma Bombeck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Congrats. YTA.

I think everyone with little kids expects it to be hard. Expects it to be busy. I honestly don't think that working/SAHP makes a huge difference, depending on your temperament (and I work, FWIW), though long hours or a very stressful job would be harder for sure. I think this is all true whether you have one, two, three or even four kids. Okay, once you're really out of the mainstream with like 6 kids, that's a different story. But you're not talking about the Duggars, you're talking about people with three kids! Isn't the average something like 2.5?

There are plenty of people who love their children, love having a large family, and recognize that yes, the early years are going to have some very tough moments, and accept that trade-off and the risks that come with it. Because it's worth it for them.

And yet, they may have a season of life where it's stressing them out a bit more than they're comfortable with, and so they come here for commiseration/advice. No matter whether you work or not, or have one kid or four, with special needs or without, kids are HARD and there will be a time when it feels like too much. LIFE is like that, even if you DON'T have kids.

These aren't people coming and saying "well, I had three kids, and I work 110 hours a week, we live on food stamps, we beat the kids regularly because we can't handle the whining, we are really mad that they spilled juice on our pristine white upholstered furniture, the youngest needs glasses but we just tell him to squint, and we are considering a fourth, what do you think?" The kids are well cared for, the adults are generally okay, it's just hard sometimes. Life isn't always predictable. Maybe kids at ages 1, 5, and 7 were fine, but 2, 6 and 8 is stressing you out and by 3, 7, and 9 you'll be back in your groove. Does that one tough year mean it was crazy to have your youngest child, who you love and adore and has added so much richness to your life?

That's not your priority, great. But people are different and prioritize different things even if it's tough and sometimes they need a little advice. Get off your high horse. You might struggle, too, one day.

--mom of two

Word! Agree.

[Anonymous]

We didn’t think it through. We hired a nanny when our first was born and then had twins. We though we’d be able to transition to school at kindergarten for the twins and wouldn’t need nanny. Luckily with wised up before letting nanny go. She’s still with us and we honestly couldn’t function without her.

[Anonymous]

I have four. I thought I would spend my life sitting in resorts sipping pink lemonade while my children amused themselves in the sand. We just got back from Puerto Rico. I also recommend Bermuda with kids.

[Anonymous]

Parents of kids under 13 are so cute.

“The toddler years are hard, but everything gets easier and cheaper once they get into school.”

-signed, mom of high schoolers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents of kids under 13 are so cute.

“The toddler years are hard, but everything gets easier and cheaper once they get into school.”

-signed, mom of high schoolers

It depends what your kids are into. And what their crowed is like.

My kids don't care about clothes etc. They're into online stuff.

[Anonymous]

My two are almost too much for us, so we stopped. But other working parents we know who have different strengths and personalities are doing great with 3+! Know yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of kids under 13 are so cute.

“The toddler years are hard, but everything gets easier and cheaper once they get into school.”

-signed, mom of high schoolers

It depends what your kids are into. And what their crowed is like.

My kids don't care about clothes etc. They're into online stuff.

I spend a lot of time enriching my 3 children. I would not be ok with my kids just doing online stuff.

I do know many parents who are totally fine letting their kids have screens all day.

I am not saying all working parents do this but I know a few parents who use screens like babysitters. If they are working from home, kids are allowed screens after school so parents can finish up work. I am sure lots of kids get screens after school. I was a latch key kid and watched tons of tv. I want my kids to have a different childhood than I did. My parents worked all the time and didn’t have much money. I have both time and money to enrich my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of kids under 13 are so cute.

“The toddler years are hard, but everything gets easier and cheaper once they get into school.”

-signed, mom of high schoolers

It depends what your kids are into. And what their crowed is like.

My kids don't care about clothes etc. They're into online stuff.

I spend a lot of time enriching my 3 children. I would not be ok with my kids just doing online stuff.

I do know many parents who are totally fine letting their kids have screens all day.

I am not saying all working parents do this but I know a few parents who use screens like babysitters. If they are working from home, kids are allowed screens after school so parents can finish up work. I am sure lots of kids get screens after school. I was a latch key kid and watched tons of tv. I want my kids to have a different childhood than I did. My parents worked all the time and didn’t have much money. I have both time and money to enrich my children.

Good for you…? Who cares about what your think or do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents of kids under 13 are so cute.

“The toddler years are hard, but everything gets easier and cheaper once they get into school.”

-signed, mom of high schoolers

This type of response is so not cute.

Many families actually do have an easier time once the kids are older. Even in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of kids under 13 are so cute.

“The toddler years are hard, but everything gets easier and cheaper once they get into school.”

-signed, mom of high schoolers

This type of response is so not cute.

Many families actually do have an easier time once the kids are older. Even in high school.

No they don’t. Bigger kids, bigger problems. Definitely not easier. There is this sweet spot like ages 6 to 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of kids under 13 are so cute.

“The toddler years are hard, but everything gets easier and cheaper once they get into school.”

-signed, mom of high schoolers

This type of response is so not cute.

Many families actually do have an easier time once the kids are older. Even in high school.

DP. But some don’t. The teen years have a rep for being hard and that doesn’t come out of nowhere. And the “cheaper” part is laughable. High schoolers are definitely more expensive than elementary kids (activities, clothes, food) plus college is on the horizon.

I come from a family of four kids and my parents did not anticipate the costs or challenges of the teen years at all. It made our lives extremely stressful and really limited us in ways that other people around us were not limited. I chose to have fewer kids in part because I didn’t want to wind up in that position.

I do think it’s important to think beyond babies and younger kids when family planning. Kids are for life. If you are fantasizing about big family dinners when kids are grown, go ahead and imagine what that bill will look like too. Don’t assume your income will quadruple. Be realistic about how you will save for college. These are just practical concerns you should consider.

[Anonymous]

I have 2. They’re a handful but I’d love a 3rd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 2. They’re a handful but I’d love a 3rd.

I forgot one thing. They could increase the homestead exemptions so in the event you need to file bankruptcy your home is protected and so is your retirement accounts thus you are shielded from creditors.

This could help someone meet their child and spouse support agreements

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of kids under 13 are so cute.

“The toddler years are hard, but everything gets easier and cheaper once they get into school.”

-signed, mom of high schoolers

It depends what your kids are into. And what their crowed is like.

My kids don't care about clothes etc. They're into online stuff.

I spend a lot of time enriching my 3 children. I would not be ok with my kids just doing online stuff.

I do know many parents who are totally fine letting their kids have screens all day.

I am not saying all working parents do this but I know a few parents who use screens like babysitters. If they are working from home, kids are allowed screens after school so parents can finish up work. I am sure lots of kids get screens after school. I was a latch key kid and watched tons of tv. I want my kids to have a different childhood than I did. My parents worked all the time and didn’t have much money. I have both time and money to enrich my children.

Well, I can see why you work hard so your kids don’t turn out like you did.