Anyone facing jealous friends now that your kids are in private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

It is pure jealousy and small-mindedness. Small-minded dipsh*ts who can't afford private (or prefer to blow their spare cash on tacky cars, etc.) and have literally zero experience in a private but act like they know everything. 'It's the same everywhere...' or 'Private isn't any different...' How in the eff would YOU know? A public family who transfers to private has first-hand experience in both -- 99.99% of private haters have no experience in private yet act like experts. And spare us all of your fake responses on how your kids go to both and private sucks. You sad saps are broken records.

Ok, no. One reason I don't send my children to private is BECAUSE I have experience with it. I'm an alum of a DC-area Big 3 and my nieces and nephews go as well. It's not like I don't know anything.

I'm glad you are happy with your choice. I hope that you remain happy in the years to come. Try to remember, though, that many private school parents do not have very *much* experience with private, and what seems great in the first year or in early childhood may not be so pleasing after you've had to deal with any actual problems or the difficulties that older children can have.

Sure sweetie, and I'm an astronaut. Get a hobby and stop trolling a PRIVATE SCHOOL forum if your children don't attend one. It's so pathetic you have nothing better to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, they are not your tribe any longer. Accept it. Don't make it worse by assigning blame. Btw, you would seem clueless to not understand a basic fact: those neighborhood kids are your child's peers, only you're saying they're not good enough. You are seeking better. Or you are seeking a school environment better than what these have parents have chose. So that's criticism. Not spoken but it's there. Be gracious. You should never have to accept rude comments to your face but accept that the dynamic for you within the neighborhood has drastically changed. That's on you. You chose this.

This is fantastic, thank you. And I think can be used anytime someone makes a choice that they see as trading up. You’re necessarily saying “what we had and what you still have is not good enough for me, so I’m making an active (and expensive) choice so that I can get away from what you are doing.” There’s no way to say that where the person you’re leaving isn’t going to feel wounded. We’ve had people move off our close knit street for big houses and there’s this same dynamic - they want to stay friends and think nothing will change. But they go on about their bigger house and better yard and fancier friends and better schools and it’s just really hard not to hear “your choices are not good enough for me.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do a search here. This Q is asked every single year. You’ll live.

This is a persecution fantasy by newly pointed private school parents.

No one cares. Also, no one is impressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not that they are jealous, it's that they feel defensive that maybe they should be doing something else with their kids. Try to see it that way, and try to frame your discussion as a decision you made for your own particular individual reasons.

Like telling them your kids are super special snowflakes that need whatever private provides. That's what many on this board do. My kid is SOOO smart....my kid is SOOO shy..... my kid NEEDS a small class to concentrate..... my kids has some random allergy that is not accommodated in public.... these statements make people less defensive an insecure about their own decisions.

Really most of the kids in private are normal (or above average) and the parents just want a better education. I just say it's a better fit for Jill and leave it at that. When people ask why or how "Uh, well, it's just a feeling".

Some kids really do have a harder time than others and the small class size makes a big difference, why mock someone who chooses to pay for that. My kid was having a hard time learning to read and switching to private turned that around. You going to say my kid and l are snowflakes for that? I would much rather my “good” free public, but not if my kid isn’t learning to read, feels behind and “stupid”.

Im not mocking; just calling it how i see it. Many public school parents, just like you, get tutoring or tech the kid themselves. All kids need extra help/enrichment in something. It's just easier for you to get it in private and you can afford it. No shame in that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

It is pure jealousy and small-mindedness. Small-minded dipsh*ts who can't afford private (or prefer to blow their spare cash on tacky cars, etc.) and have literally zero experience in a private but act like they know everything. 'It's the same everywhere...' or 'Private isn't any different...' How in the eff would YOU know? A public family who transfers to private has first-hand experience in both -- 99.99% of private haters have no experience in private yet act like experts. And spare us all of your fake responses on how your kids go to both and private sucks. You sad saps are broken records.

Ok, no. One reason I don't send my children to private is BECAUSE I have experience with it. I'm an alum of a DC-area Big 3 and my nieces and nephews go as well. It's not like I don't know anything.

I'm glad you are happy with your choice. I hope that you remain happy in the years to come. Try to remember, though, that many private school parents do not have very *much* experience with private, and what seems great in the first year or in early childhood may not be so pleasing after you've had to deal with any actual problems or the difficulties that older children can have.

I know your type. Grandparents paid your tuition but not enough wealth/inheritance or income to afford to sent your own kids. Yeah I have a friend just like this. She went to Sidwell but never quite made it career wise and did not marry well. She’s jealous as hell but would never admit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

It is pure jealousy and small-mindedness. Small-minded dipsh*ts who can't afford private (or prefer to blow their spare cash on tacky cars, etc.) and have literally zero experience in a private but act like they know everything. 'It's the same everywhere...' or 'Private isn't any different...' How in the eff would YOU know? A public family who transfers to private has first-hand experience in both -- 99.99% of private haters have no experience in private yet act like experts. And spare us all of your fake responses on how your kids go to both and private sucks. You sad saps are broken records.

You seem like a real delight. I'm super jealous of anyone who gets to go to the same school as you, because you're so considerate and well-mannered and polite.

It's probably that sweeter than sugar skinny blonde at the end of the road with tons of money, a super hot husband, and 4 bueatiful successful kids, smart and athletic. You are jealous. How does she do it?

Her dark secret... she's bored as a SAHM and trolls you know this board!

[Anonymous]

Envious but not jealous. I know how they feel - I was in their shoes last year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, they are not your tribe any longer. Accept it. Don't make it worse by assigning blame. Btw, you would seem clueless to not understand a basic fact: those neighborhood kids are your child's peers, only you're saying they're not good enough. You are seeking better. Or you are seeking a school environment better than what these have parents have chose. So that's criticism. Not spoken but it's there. Be gracious. You should never have to accept rude comments to your face but accept that the dynamic for you within the neighborhood has drastically changed. That's on you. You chose this.

This is fantastic, thank you. And I think can be used anytime someone makes a choice that they see as trading up. You’re necessarily saying “what we had and what you still have is not good enough for me, so I’m making an active (and expensive) choice so that I can get away from what you are doing.” There’s no way to say that where the person you’re leaving isn’t going to feel wounded. We’ve had people move off our close knit street for big houses and there’s this same dynamic - they want to stay friends and think nothing will change. But they go on about their bigger house and better yard and fancier friends and better schools and it’s just really hard not to hear “your choices are not good enough for me.”

Well they sound like arrogant show-offs. We moved from our townhome community to a big expensive SFH and have remained friends with our old neighbors because we don’t brag.

[Anonymous]

So much of this could be solved by just being more sensitive. If your friend is complaining about having a 5 hour layover, you don't say "that is why we only fly on our private jet." If your friend is complaining living with three kids in an apartment is driving her nuts, that is not the time to say "I'm so glad we live in a home with two acres of land." And if you have a friend who is a widow worrying about making sure her son has enough male role models. You listen carefully, and ask questions. You don't say "yeah, I am so lucky my husband is healthy and is a great dad." Just keep those thoughts to yourself!!! And similarly, if your friend is complaining about the problems with her kids public school, that is not the moment to tell her you are switching to private. You can tell her another time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

It is pure jealousy and small-mindedness. Small-minded dipsh*ts who can't afford private (or prefer to blow their spare cash on tacky cars, etc.) and have literally zero experience in a private but act like they know everything. 'It's the same everywhere...' or 'Private isn't any different...' How in the eff would YOU know? A public family who transfers to private has first-hand experience in both -- 99.99% of private haters have no experience in private yet act like experts. And spare us all of your fake responses on how your kids go to both and private sucks. You sad saps are broken records.

I’m going to assume this is really good trolling, in which case it’s funny.

If it’s not trolling, that would be sad, but I don’t believe real people exist who are this clueless.

And people supposed to be jealous that they don’t get to go to school with the children this person is raising (can you imagine? Yeesh!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much of this could be solved by just being more sensitive. If your friend is complaining about having a 5 hour layover, you don't say "that is why we only fly on our private jet." If your friend is complaining living with three kids in an apartment is driving her nuts, that is not the time to say "I'm so glad we live in a home with two acres of land." And if you have a friend who is a widow worrying about making sure her son has enough male role models. You listen carefully, and ask questions. You don't say "yeah, I am so lucky my husband is healthy and is a great dad." Just keep those thoughts to yourself!!! And similarly, if your friend is complaining about the problems with her kids public school, that is not the moment to tell her you are switching to private. You can tell her another time.

Or you just be yourself and don’t self censor so aggressively. If people are that jealous, cut them out…there are plenty of people—both successful and not—that will be happy for you and not haters. Be friends with those type of people not the ones you need to walk on egg shells with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so not a thing

Unfortunately, it is. Many parents will take even the most neutrally worded statement as a referendum on their educational choices, and react accordingly. It’s all well and good if you can keep it a deathly secret, but that gets weird quickly.

The answer, of course, is that your real friends won’t be jerks about it, and people are jerks about it they’re not your real friends.

NP.

No, it’s really not a thing. I mean, I *judge* you for doing it (negatively) but that’s not to be confused with jealousy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much of this could be solved by just being more sensitive. If your friend is complaining about having a 5 hour layover, you don't say "that is why we only fly on our private jet." If your friend is complaining living with three kids in an apartment is driving her nuts, that is not the time to say "I'm so glad we live in a home with two acres of land." And if you have a friend who is a widow worrying about making sure her son has enough male role models. You listen carefully, and ask questions. You don't say "yeah, I am so lucky my husband is healthy and is a great dad." Just keep those thoughts to yourself!!! And similarly, if your friend is complaining about the problems with her kids public school, that is not the moment to tell her you are switching to private. You can tell her another time.

Or you just be yourself and don’t self censor so aggressively. If people are that jealous, cut them out…there are plenty of people—both successful and not—that will be happy for you and not haters. Be friends with those type of people not the ones you need to walk on egg shells with.

Refraining from making a$$hole-ish comments is not censoring aggressively or walking on eggshells. It’s common courtesy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so not a thing

Unfortunately, it is. Many parents will take even the most neutrally worded statement as a referendum on their educational choices, and react accordingly. It’s all well and good if you can keep it a deathly secret, but that gets weird quickly.

The answer, of course, is that your real friends won’t be jerks about it, and people are jerks about it they’re not your real friends.

NP.

No, it’s really not a thing. I mean, I *judge* you for doing it (negatively) but that’s not to be confused with jealousy.

Totally sounds like sour grapes. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

It is pure jealousy and small-mindedness. Small-minded dipsh*ts who can't afford private (or prefer to blow their spare cash on tacky cars, etc.) and have literally zero experience in a private but act like they know everything. 'It's the same everywhere...' or 'Private isn't any different...' How in the eff would YOU know? A public family who transfers to private has first-hand experience in both -- 99.99% of private haters have no experience in private yet act like experts. And spare us all of your fake responses on how your kids go to both and private sucks. You sad saps are broken records.

Ok, no. One reason I don't send my children to private is BECAUSE I have experience with it. I'm an alum of a DC-area Big 3 and my nieces and nephews go as well. It's not like I don't know anything.

I'm glad you are happy with your choice. I hope that you remain happy in the years to come. Try to remember, though, that many private school parents do not have very *much* experience with private, and what seems great in the first year or in early childhood may not be so pleasing after you've had to deal with any actual problems or the difficulties that older children can have.

I know your type. Grandparents paid your tuition but not enough wealth/inheritance or income to afford to sent your own kids. Yeah I have a friend just like this. She went to Sidwell but never quite made it career wise and did not marry well. She’s jealous as hell but would never admit it.

Seems inheriting wealth, having a career and/or marrying well (you do know this is the 21st century?) have not made you a person any school would be proud to claim.