Anyone facing jealous friends now that your kids are in private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not that they are jealous, it's that they feel defensive that maybe they should be doing something else with their kids. Try to see it that way, and try to frame your discussion as a decision you made for your own particular individual reasons.

Like telling them your kids are super special snowflakes that need whatever private provides. That's what many on this board do. My kid is SOOO smart....my kid is SOOO shy..... my kid NEEDS a small class to concentrate..... my kids has some random allergy that is not accommodated in public.... these statements make people less defensive an insecure about their own decisions.

Really most of the kids in private are normal (or above average) and the parents just want a better education. I just say it's a better fit for Jill and leave it at that. When people ask why or how "Uh, well, it's just a feeling".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:We went through this a couple of times with both kids. There is jealousy and anger involved, especially if you tell them it is because of substandard MCPS.

We told people we wanted religious element in education and the satisfied them. But know that they are still steaming about it. One time I posted something on Facebook about common core and how I am glad my kids don't deal with it, and this rabid mom attacked me. She is one who asked my why I pulled my daughter out of MCPS before anyone. She also seemed happy to hear that it was religious reasons. But now she knows there are other benefits we enjoy and she is angry.

So you post something inflammatory on Facebook, and are annoyed that someone reacted to it? You can’t even see your part in this, can you?

Of course I do. But it was effective at knowing true feelings. I am always looking for opportunities to purge toxic people in my life.

So clearly you did it on purpose, and are now claiming that the responder is the toxic one. You sure are something else.

No not at all. It was a response to someone else's post on the subject, so just stating my opinion. But I really don't care because I knew all along there was fierce jealousy on her part. Her daughter exudes the jealousy to my daughter as well at the pool. She is always competing with her on things like what team she is on, etc. It is so funny to hear about.

That’s the thing - you do. You really really do. But since you are seriously lacking in self awareness, you’ll deny it ‘til the cows come home.

Nothing to deny. I clearly pointed out I knew exactly what is going on! Did I provoke her? No. She responded, and I knew right away I was right!

This is too effing funny. If you think you are making yourself look like you were in the right here, YOU ARE NOT.
If you think that saying something provocative will not provoke people, then there is no rational conversation to be had here. You keep doing what your doing, fighting against and purging those toxic people from your life!

I only agreed with the FB post and added an anecdote. That is not provocative. Why didn't she chime in before I did? It's because of the jealousy. No doubt in my mind.

NP.

You really are something else.

She may just think you're crazy for paying to send your kid to private school. She has a right to think that.

I send my kids to private school but I don't assume anyone who doesn't is jealous of me. They might think I'm crazy and I'm ok with that. It works for my family so I'm secure in my decision, but I don't think it's the right answer for everyone. You seem like one of those people who thinks they know the best way to do everything. Spoiler alert - life doesn't work like that.

[Anonymous]

Your true friends love you and there will be none of this. But yes, the others might feel a certain kind of way, because you're forcing them to question their choices, whether briefly or more intensely. The way to avoid this, which is what we're doing by the way, is not sharing it like its news. If the topic comes up, we'll state it matter of factly. We're not apologizing about it. If they inquire more, then we'll tell them the truth: "We think it's going to be a better fit for Larla." This isn't insulting their school or their choices. It's stating what we feel is going to be best for our kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, I might be jealous that you have a sh*t-ton of money, but if I had enough for private school tuition I don't think that's where I'd spend it anyway.

And it shows! This is the judgement I get from friends. The way I see it, it’s not any different than those who snicker at others for expensive cars, shoes, or handbags. It’s not personal.

[Anonymous]

The 'old crew' from the neighborhood now go to 6 different high schools

That's awful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some people who are threatened by anyone who makes different choices than they do. Also their kids might have applied and been rejected. Then they say they have heard bad things after the fact about the school in question as a way to appease themselves. They loved it when they were applying though.
Or they can’t afford it, and tell themselves they would donate all that money if they had it… whatever, to each their own, OP.
People are weird.

Actually, you're weird. Virtually all of our neighborhood parent friends make more money than us and had absolutely no interest in applying to private school, looked at us like we were crazy but still included my DD in birthday parties, hangouts, etc. I think sometimes private school parents, especially those that are new to this world, like to believe that in addition to the "exclusive" education their child is getting, that they also get to be the envy of all of their neighbors - after all, everyone must secretly harbor a desire to go to their mediocre private school full of "advanced" children who we know would drown in public school, right? It just isn't true. I always felt awkward talking about the fact that we had put our child in private, given all of our friends were still strongly committed to private school. It just didn't feel good and I struggled with a way to explain it and not sound like we were bragging or anything. Parents who wear their kids' private school admission as a badge of their own accomplishment have self-esteem issues. Your error lies in believing that everyone thinks like you and wants what you have just because you secretly envy others who you perceive to have more than you. Accept everyone is not like you. Thankfully.

[Anonymous]

My DCs left a W school and our friends were sad to see us go, but everyone has been positive and supportive.

I do think our local public is a great school for lots of kids - my friends’ kids are thriving there. They are learning and happy and love their community. However, one of my kids wasn’t thriving, so we made the move to private. And my younger kids all started there.

I am appalled at how much private school parents bash public schools (my other kids entered private in kindergarten/pre-K so most haven’t even been to their local public). You can feel like your private school is a better experience for your child without talking badly about the local public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not that they are jealous, it's that they feel defensive that maybe they should be doing something else with their kids. Try to see it that way, and try to frame your discussion as a decision you made for your own particular individual reasons.

Like telling them your kids are super special snowflakes that need whatever private provides. That's what many on this board do. My kid is SOOO smart....my kid is SOOO shy..... my kid NEEDS a small class to concentrate..... my kids has some random allergy that is not accommodated in public.... these statements make people less defensive an insecure about their own decisions.

Really most of the kids in private are normal (or above average) and the parents just want a better education. I just say it's a better fit for Jill and leave it at that. When people ask why or how "Uh, well, it's just a feeling".

Some kids really do have a harder time than others and the small class size makes a big difference, why mock someone who chooses to pay for that. My kid was having a hard time learning to read and switching to private turned that around. You going to say my kid and l are snowflakes for that? I would much rather my “good” free public, but not if my kid isn’t learning to read, feels behind and “stupid”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not that they are jealous, it's that they feel defensive that maybe they should be doing something else with their kids. Try to see it that way, and try to frame your discussion as a decision you made for your own particular individual reasons.

Like telling them your kids are super special snowflakes that need whatever private provides. That's what many on this board do. My kid is SOOO smart....my kid is SOOO shy..... my kid NEEDS a small class to concentrate..... my kids has some random allergy that is not accommodated in public.... these statements make people less defensive an insecure about their own decisions.

Really most of the kids in private are normal (or above average) and the parents just want a better education. I just say it's a better fit for Jill and leave it at that. When people ask why or how "Uh, well, it's just a feeling".

Some kids really do have a harder time than others and the small class size makes a big difference, why mock someone who chooses to pay for that. My kid was having a hard time learning to read and switching to private turned that around. You going to say my kid and l are snowflakes for that? I would much rather my “good” free public, but not if my kid isn’t learning to read, feels behind and “stupid”.

Nobody's mocking people for whom it's true. But people use this excuse because it's socially acceptable when the real reasons are not. And I rolled my eyes HARD when the biggest ADHD case in the class went private, his parents were sure the small class size would do the trick. But he was counseled out and ended up at Lab, after they opened their minds to the possibility of actually acknowledging and meeting his needs in a non-prestigious way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

It is pure jealousy and small-mindedness. Small-minded dipsh*ts who can't afford private (or prefer to blow their spare cash on tacky cars, etc.) and have literally zero experience in a private but act like they know everything. 'It's the same everywhere...' or 'Private isn't any different...' How in the eff would YOU know? A public family who transfers to private has first-hand experience in both -- 99.99% of private haters have no experience in private yet act like experts. And spare us all of your fake responses on how your kids go to both and private sucks. You sad saps are broken records.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

It is pure jealousy and small-mindedness. Small-minded dipsh*ts who can't afford private (or prefer to blow their spare cash on tacky cars, etc.) and have literally zero experience in a private but act like they know everything. 'It's the same everywhere...' or 'Private isn't any different...' How in the eff would YOU know? A public family who transfers to private has first-hand experience in both -- 99.99% of private haters have no experience in private yet act like experts. And spare us all of your fake responses on how your kids go to both and private sucks. You sad saps are broken records.

Ok, no. One reason I don't send my children to private is BECAUSE I have experience with it. I'm an alum of a DC-area Big 3 and my nieces and nephews go as well. It's not like I don't know anything.

I'm glad you are happy with your choice. I hope that you remain happy in the years to come. Try to remember, though, that many private school parents do not have very *much* experience with private, and what seems great in the first year or in early childhood may not be so pleasing after you've had to deal with any actual problems or the difficulties that older children can have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

It is pure jealousy and small-mindedness. Small-minded dipsh*ts who can't afford private (or prefer to blow their spare cash on tacky cars, etc.) and have literally zero experience in a private but act like they know everything. 'It's the same everywhere...' or 'Private isn't any different...' How in the eff would YOU know? A public family who transfers to private has first-hand experience in both -- 99.99% of private haters have no experience in private yet act like experts. And spare us all of your fake responses on how your kids go to both and private sucks. You sad saps are broken records.

I like your response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

It is pure jealousy and small-mindedness. Small-minded dipsh*ts who can't afford private (or prefer to blow their spare cash on tacky cars, etc.) and have literally zero experience in a private but act like they know everything. 'It's the same everywhere...' or 'Private isn't any different...' How in the eff would YOU know? A public family who transfers to private has first-hand experience in both -- 99.99% of private haters have no experience in private yet act like experts. And spare us all of your fake responses on how your kids go to both and private sucks. You sad saps are broken records.

You seem like a real delight. I'm super jealous of anyone who gets to go to the same school as you, because you're so considerate and well-mannered and polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

It is pure jealousy and small-mindedness. Small-minded dipsh*ts who can't afford private (or prefer to blow their spare cash on tacky cars, etc.) and have literally zero experience in a private but act like they know everything. 'It's the same everywhere...' or 'Private isn't any different...' How in the eff would YOU know? A public family who transfers to private has first-hand experience in both -- 99.99% of private haters have no experience in private yet act like experts. And spare us all of your fake responses on how your kids go to both and private sucks. You sad saps are broken records.

Spoken like a parent of a kid at a non 'top 5' private whose kid is stuck in some random run of the mill overcrowded Catholic school. Yes, hon, we are jealous of you - we wish we could get our 'W' elementary school into your exclusive highly competitive Saint blah blah school out in the sticks somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

It is pure jealousy and small-mindedness. Small-minded dipsh*ts who can't afford private (or prefer to blow their spare cash on tacky cars, etc.) and have literally zero experience in a private but act like they know everything. 'It's the same everywhere...' or 'Private isn't any different...' How in the eff would YOU know? A public family who transfers to private has first-hand experience in both -- 99.99% of private haters have no experience in private yet act like experts. And spare us all of your fake responses on how your kids go to both and private sucks. You sad saps are broken records.

I’m going to assume this is really good trolling, in which case it’s funny.

If it’s not trolling, that would be sad, but I don’t believe real people exist who are this clueless.