Anyone facing jealous friends now that your kids are in private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like OP and the Facebook PP lack emotional EQ. None of my friends are “jealous” because we don’t mention it. And when someone asks something about FCPS and we’re forced to admit we’re in private, we make it seem like it’s because DD does better in small class sizes. Which, she does, but the real reason is FCPS. I’m not going to say that though!

NP - But that kind of benign answer still isn’t enough for some people. Some people will respond with judgment, incredulity, etc., no matter how you phrase it. I told a neighborhood acquaintance because she asked me about kindergarten enrollment, and I got an incredulous “WHY?!”. I gave a generic answer about DC benefitting from a small class. Short of lying to her, I wasn’t going to get a positive or even neutral response from her in that moment.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We went through this a couple of times with both kids. There is jealousy and anger involved, especially if you tell them it is because of substandard MCPS.

We told people we wanted religious element in education and the satisfied them. But know that they are still steaming about it. One time I posted something on Facebook about common core and how I am glad my kids don't deal with it, and this rabid mom attacked me. She is one who asked my why I pulled my daughter out of MCPS before anyone. She also seemed happy to hear that it was religious reasons. But now she knows there are other benefits we enjoy and she is angry.

So you post something inflammatory on Facebook, and are annoyed that someone reacted to it? You can’t even see your part in this, can you?

Of course I do. But it was effective at knowing true feelings. I am always looking for opportunities to purge toxic people in my life.

So clearly you did it on purpose, and are now claiming that the responder is the toxic one. You sure are something else.

No not at all. It was a response to someone else's post on the subject, so just stating my opinion. But I really don't care because I knew all along there was fierce jealousy on her part. Her daughter exudes the jealousy to my daughter as well at the pool. She is always competing with her on things like what team she is on, etc. It is so funny to hear about.

That’s the thing - you do. You really really do. But since you are seriously lacking in self awareness, you’ll deny it ‘til the cows come home.

Nothing to deny. I clearly pointed out I knew exactly what is going on! Did I provoke her? No. She responded, and I knew right away I was right!

This is too effing funny. If you think you are making yourself look like you were in the right here, YOU ARE NOT.
If you think that saying something provocative will not provoke people, then there is no rational conversation to be had here. You keep doing what your doing, fighting against and purging those toxic people from your life!

I only agreed with the FB post and added an anecdote. That is not provocative. Why didn't she chime in before I did? It's because of the jealousy. No doubt in my mind.

[Anonymous]

I had a kid graduate from MCPS, another from private. Each needed something different. Saving $40K per year sure was nice, but so was knowing the other was in the right place for him. Anyone who thinks MCPS is generally bad is spoiled beyond reason. Anyone who doesn’t understand choosing what’s right for your child if you can afford to has never been a parent.

[Anonymous]

Our neighbor across the street who has always had her kids in public, some now in college, acts like she knows things about multiple privates. She doesn’t. I ignore her. It’s kind of funny to me actually.
You can too.
Focus on your own family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ever since my kids were recently admitted to private schools, many friends in my W cluster have been making snippy comments about me sending my kids to private school. Has anyone else faced a similar situation?

I’m convinced you are making this up. We are in a W zone and our friends were supportive but sad we were leaving and continued include my kid in invitations and activities. Keep in mind these invitations dwindle the longer you are in private so if private doesn’t work out, good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went through this a couple of times with both kids. There is jealousy and anger involved, especially if you tell them it is because of substandard MCPS.

We told people we wanted religious element in education and the satisfied them. But know that they are still steaming about it. One time I posted something on Facebook about common core and how I am glad my kids don't deal with it, and this rabid mom attacked me. She is one who asked my why I pulled my daughter out of MCPS before anyone. She also seemed happy to hear that it was religious reasons. But now she knows there are other benefits we enjoy and she is angry.

So you post something inflammatory on Facebook, and are annoyed that someone reacted to it? You can’t even see your part in this, can you?

Of course I do. But it was effective at knowing true feelings. I am always looking for opportunities to purge toxic people in my life.

So clearly you did it on purpose, and are now claiming that the responder is the toxic one. You sure are something else.

No not at all. It was a response to someone else's post on the subject, so just stating my opinion. But I really don't care because I knew all along there was fierce jealousy on her part. Her daughter exudes the jealousy to my daughter as well at the pool. She is always competing with her on things like what team she is on, etc. It is so funny to hear about.

Wait … what? Another girl is insecure and competes with your daughter on things like teams and you find that funny? Do you and your daughter together laugh at this girl behind her back? You sound like a sixth grade girl yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:We went through this a couple of times with both kids. There is jealousy and anger involved, especially if you tell them it is because of substandard MCPS.

We told people we wanted religious element in education and the satisfied them. But know that they are still steaming about it. One time I posted something on Facebook about common core and how I am glad my kids don't deal with it, and this rabid mom attacked me. She is one who asked my why I pulled my daughter out of MCPS before anyone. She also seemed happy to hear that it was religious reasons. But now she knows there are other benefits we enjoy and she is angry.

So you post something inflammatory on Facebook, and are annoyed that someone reacted to it? You can’t even see your part in this, can you?

Of course I do. But it was effective at knowing true feelings. I am always looking for opportunities to purge toxic people in my life.

So clearly you did it on purpose, and are now claiming that the responder is the toxic one. You sure are something else.

No not at all. It was a response to someone else's post on the subject, so just stating my opinion. But I really don't care because I knew all along there was fierce jealousy on her part. Her daughter exudes the jealousy to my daughter as well at the pool. She is always competing with her on things like what team she is on, etc. It is so funny to hear about.

Wait … what? Another girl is insecure and competes with your daughter on things like teams and you find that funny? Do you and your daughter together laugh at this girl behind her back? You sound like a sixth grade girl yourself.

Nope just highlighting that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. The young middle schooler was hostile to my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always think that the private schools parents are showing their own uncertainty about whether they are doing the right thing when they start these threads...

I always think the way that such posts are always rabidly attacked is showing public school parents’ uncertainty about whether they’re shortchanging their kids by sending them to public school…

see how that works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went through this a couple of times with both kids. There is jealousy and anger involved, especially if you tell them it is because of substandard MCPS.

We told people we wanted religious element in education and the satisfied them. But know that they are still steaming about it. One time I posted something on Facebook about common core and how I am glad my kids don't deal with it, and this rabid mom attacked me. She is one who asked my why I pulled my daughter out of MCPS before anyone. She also seemed happy to hear that it was religious reasons. But now she knows there are other benefits we enjoy and she is angry.

So you post something inflammatory on Facebook, and are annoyed that someone reacted to it? You can’t even see your part in this, can you?

Of course I do. But it was effective at knowing true feelings. I am always looking for opportunities to purge toxic people in my life.

So clearly you did it on purpose, and are now claiming that the responder is the toxic one. You sure are something else.

No not at all. It was a response to someone else's post on the subject, so just stating my opinion. But I really don't care because I knew all along there was fierce jealousy on her part. Her daughter exudes the jealousy to my daughter as well at the pool. She is always competing with her on things like what team she is on, etc. It is so funny to hear about.

Wait … what? Another girl is insecure and competes with your daughter on things like teams and you find that funny? Do you and your daughter together laugh at this girl behind her back? You sound like a sixth grade girl yourself.

Don’t bother calling out PP (which several of us already have). She’s too dim to see her sad part in it.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you saying weird stuff about your choice? For example, if you're saying things like "We wanted a school that instills a love of learning", are you implying that your child and also their child wouldn't have a love of learning if they attended public school? A lot of times the justifications people give for private school don't really hold up when you think about it.

If you're going because of behavior issues in public, really think about what you're saying. Recognize that a lot of what you pay for is the schools willingness to counsel out or expel anyone who isn't meeting the requirements. Nobody says "I want a school that expels kids to protect my kid's experience" or "I want a school that rejects anyone with significant special needs" but that's basically what you do want, right?

Or if what you're saying is kinda racist or you want to get away from middle class people, that's going to put people off. Try hard to think through your remarks.

[Anonymous]

Op, they are not your tribe any longer. Accept it. Don't make it worse by assigning blame. Btw, you would seem clueless to not understand a basic fact: those neighborhood kids are your child's peers, only you're saying they're not good enough. You are seeking better. Or you are seeking a school environment better than what these have parents have chose. So that's criticism. Not spoken but it's there. Be gracious. You should never have to accept rude comments to your face but accept that the dynamic for you within the neighborhood has drastically changed. That's on you. You chose this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, they are not your tribe any longer. Accept it. Don't make it worse by assigning blame. Btw, you would seem clueless to not understand a basic fact: those neighborhood kids are your child's peers, only you're saying they're not good enough. You are seeking better. Or you are seeking a school environment better than what these have parents have chose. So that's criticism. Not spoken but it's there. Be gracious. You should never have to accept rude comments to your face but accept that the dynamic for you within the neighborhood has drastically changed. That's on you. You chose this.

Yup. You chose it. And listen, not everyone is jealous! A negative or chilly reaction does not always mean jealousy. It can mean they feel awkward because they don't think you're making the right choice for your child but are too polite to say so. It could mean they think you're wasting your money but are too polite to say so. Or maybe the subtext is that your child isn't as bright as theirs, and needs extra support, or that they think you're in denial about special needs and pretending a small class size will fix everything. Or that what you're saying is really off-putting when you think about it-- especially if you consider yourself progressive. The "All are welcome here" thing rings a little hollow at a competitive private, no?

Or they might just be disappointed because they know their own child will be sad to lose yours as a classmate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went through this a couple of times with both kids. There is jealousy and anger involved, especially if you tell them it is because of substandard MCPS.

We told people we wanted religious element in education and the satisfied them. But know that they are still steaming about it. One time I posted something on Facebook about common core and how I am glad my kids don't deal with it, and this rabid mom attacked me. She is one who asked my why I pulled my daughter out of MCPS before anyone. She also seemed happy to hear that it was religious reasons. But now she knows there are other benefits we enjoy and she is angry.

So you post something inflammatory on Facebook, and are annoyed that someone reacted to it? You can’t even see your part in this, can you?

Seriously. Why would you even go there on social media if your children aren't in schools that teach to common core?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went through this a couple of times with both kids. There is jealousy and anger involved, especially if you tell them it is because of substandard MCPS.

We told people we wanted religious element in education and the satisfied them. But know that they are still steaming about it. One time I posted something on Facebook about common core and how I am glad my kids don't deal with it, and this rabid mom attacked me. She is one who asked my why I pulled my daughter out of MCPS before anyone. She also seemed happy to hear that it was religious reasons. But now she knows there are other benefits we enjoy and she is angry.

So you post something inflammatory on Facebook, and are annoyed that someone reacted to it? You can’t even see your part in this, can you?

Of course I do. But it was effective at knowing true feelings. I am always looking for opportunities to purge toxic people in my life.

So clearly you did it on purpose, and are now claiming that the responder is the toxic one. You sure are something else.

No not at all. It was a response to someone else's post on the subject, so just stating my opinion. But I really don't care because I knew all along there was fierce jealousy on her part. Her daughter exudes the jealousy to my daughter as well at the pool. She is always competing with her on things like what team she is on, etc. It is so funny to hear about.

That’s the thing - you do. You really really do. But since you are seriously lacking in self awareness, you’ll deny it ‘til the cows come home.

Nothing to deny. I clearly pointed out I knew exactly what is going on! Did I provoke her? No. She responded, and I knew right away I was right!

This is too effing funny. If you think you are making yourself look like you were in the right here, YOU ARE NOT.
If you think that saying something provocative will not provoke people, then there is no rational conversation to be had here. You keep doing what your doing, fighting against and purging those toxic people from your life!

I only agreed with the FB post and added an anecdote. That is not provocative. Why didn't she chime in before I did? It's because of the jealousy. No doubt in my mind.

I'm sure you don't have any doubt in your mind. But clearly...it's not. LOL

[Anonymous]

I mean, maybe it's because I think you're making a bad decision. Maybe I think your woo-woo Waldorf school has no math, or that you're basically preparing your son to be a fratty bro, or that your kid's the meanest mean girl I ever saw and I'm happy she's leaving. Who knows. Maybe telling me Whittle is totally going to exist in the future and that's awkward. There are lots of things people don't say aloud. But it's not jealousy.