Anyone facing jealous friends now that your kids are in private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to this thread...

We moved our kid from public to a DC private high school a few years ago. We're still good friends with a few families from public but I've been pretty purposeful about never portraying private as great (as frankly it is't always)---I'm either really open about the good, bad and ugly or I don't say anything. Almost always (99% of the time) it's the later--I keep the conversation on the 15 other things we can talk about---general kid issues, work, vacation, etc.

That said, last evening I went to a sporting game between my kid's current private high school and the public high school that they would have attended. I saw the broader circle of people we used to know: car pool buddies, sports teams members, etc. I was almost universally snubbed. It was weird and uncomfortable. These are people I never once talked about private school with and in the past we always had pleasant conversations when running into each other. It was striking. I'm kind of a sensitive person by nature and I left the evening feeling really down. (I know, I know---I don't have to be universally liked but people were cold) The public/private divide runs deep in DC.

Why are you assuming they ignored you because your kid moved to private school? They probably weren’t really your friends to begin with and forgot about you since you they didn’t see you for a few years and your kid no longer goes to the same school as theirs. Just like if you moved away, you would grow distant from many of the parents of your child’s previous school.

Because we had driven each others' kids for years and years--we had had hundreds of hours of sideline conversation. I don't think a friendly hello (for a minute) would be too much to expect. I wasn't born yesterday--I've left jobs, houses, schools of my own and 99% of the time when I run into someone I once knew and say a hello to them they are friendly back. Not this crowd. Maybe it wasn't the private/public thing. Maybe it's just the weird DC thing.
Their response does not mirror the "run ins" with acquaintances that I've experienced from any other situation I've left in my lifetime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to this thread...

We moved our kid from public to a DC private high school a few years ago. We're still good friends with a few families from public but I've been pretty purposeful about never portraying private as great (as frankly it is't always)---I'm either really open about the good, bad and ugly or I don't say anything. Almost always (99% of the time) it's the later--I keep the conversation on the 15 other things we can talk about---general kid issues, work, vacation, etc.

That said, last evening I went to a sporting game between my kid's current private high school and the public high school that they would have attended. I saw the broader circle of people we used to know: car pool buddies, sports teams members, etc. I was almost universally snubbed. It was weird and uncomfortable. These are people I never once talked about private school with and in the past we always had pleasant conversations when running into each other. It was striking. I'm kind of a sensitive person by nature and I left the evening feeling really down. (I know, I know---I don't have to be universally liked but people were cold) The public/private divide runs deep in DC.

Why are you assuming they ignored you because your kid moved to private school? They probably weren’t really your friends to begin with and forgot about you since you they didn’t see you for a few years and your kid no longer goes to the same school as theirs. Just like if you moved away, you would grow distant from many of the parents of your child’s previous school.

People are haters by nature. I totally believe this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to this thread...

We moved our kid from public to a DC private high school a few years ago. We're still good friends with a few families from public but I've been pretty purposeful about never portraying private as great (as frankly it is't always)---I'm either really open about the good, bad and ugly or I don't say anything. Almost always (99% of the time) it's the later--I keep the conversation on the 15 other things we can talk about---general kid issues, work, vacation, etc.

That said, last evening I went to a sporting game between my kid's current private high school and the public high school that they would have attended. I saw the broader circle of people we used to know: car pool buddies, sports teams members, etc. I was almost universally snubbed. It was weird and uncomfortable. These are people I never once talked about private school with and in the past we always had pleasant conversations when running into each other. It was striking. I'm kind of a sensitive person by nature and I left the evening feeling really down. (I know, I know---I don't have to be universally liked but people were cold) The public/private divide runs deep in DC.

Why are you assuming they ignored you because your kid moved to private school? They probably weren’t really your friends to begin with and forgot about you since you they didn’t see you for a few years and your kid no longer goes to the same school as theirs. Just like if you moved away, you would grow distant from many of the parents of your child’s previous school.

Because we had driven each others' kids for years and years--we had had hundreds of hours of sideline conversation. I don't think a friendly hello (for a minute) would be too much to expect. I wasn't born yesterday--I've left jobs, houses, schools of my own and 99% of the time when I run into someone I once knew and say a hello to them they are friendly back. Not this crowd. Maybe it wasn't the private/public thing. Maybe it's just the weird DC thing.
Their response does not mirror the "run ins" with acquaintances that I've experienced from any other situation I've left in my lifetime.

This is the way they wanted you to feel.

[Anonymous]

Does anybody remember the "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" shampoo commercials a few decades ago? This thread reminds me of that. Also, reading between the lines, the way OP interacts with her former "friends" reminds me a little of that.

[Anonymous]

I think this is true…I really try not to bring up where DS goes to school but if asked, of course I answer. And then it gets awkward.

[Anonymous]

I feel like private school is good for elementary school and middle school. Those are the years where your kid really needs support from both home environment and school environment to be the best version of themselves in the future.

But when it comes to high school I’d prefer public school. Kids at private high school especially girls, get very competitive and alot of them are addicted to adderall(for studying).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to this thread...

We moved our kid from public to a DC private high school a few years ago. We're still good friends with a few families from public but I've been pretty purposeful about never portraying private as great (as frankly it is't always)---I'm either really open about the good, bad and ugly or I don't say anything. Almost always (99% of the time) it's the later--I keep the conversation on the 15 other things we can talk about---general kid issues, work, vacation, etc.

That said, last evening I went to a sporting game between my kid's current private high school and the public high school that they would have attended. I saw the broader circle of people we used to know: car pool buddies, sports teams members, etc. I was almost universally snubbed. It was weird and uncomfortable. These are people I never once talked about private school with and in the past we always had pleasant conversations when running into each other. It was striking. I'm kind of a sensitive person by nature and I left the evening feeling really down. (I know, I know---I don't have to be universally liked but people were cold) The public/private divide runs deep in DC.

Why are you assuming they ignored you because your kid moved to private school? They probably weren’t really your friends to begin with and forgot about you since you they didn’t see you for a few years and your kid no longer goes to the same school as theirs. Just like if you moved away, you would grow distant from many of the parents of your child’s previous school.

Because we had driven each others' kids for years and years--we had had hundreds of hours of sideline conversation. I don't think a friendly hello (for a minute) would be too much to expect. I wasn't born yesterday--I've left jobs, houses, schools of my own and 99% of the time when I run into someone I once knew and say a hello to them they are friendly back. Not this crowd. Maybe it wasn't the private/public thing. Maybe it's just the weird DC thing.
Their response does not mirror the "run ins" with acquaintances that I've experienced from any other situation I've left in my lifetime.

There's a family at our school that just switched to private and expects everything to be exactly the same, but it's not. For one thing, we were never really friends, we were acquaintances and now that we don't see each other regularly, we're not even acquaintances anymore. Our kids aren't going to stay friends, as much as you try, we have other priorities. It is what it is. Make more real friends.

[Anonymous]

A lot of public school families want the best of both worlds - to have the advantages of private school and still maintain the broad variety of and same intensity of, friendships their kid may have had in public school. They still want their kid to hang out in the neighborhood, get invited to all of the same parties and still be in the loop. That's just not life. People aren't necessarily shunning you, they have just moved on and incorporated other people who go to the school. You think time has stood still and you can just walk back into your same spot as you please,.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to this thread...

We moved our kid from public to a DC private high school a few years ago. We're still good friends with a few families from public but I've been pretty purposeful about never portraying private as great (as frankly it is't always)---I'm either really open about the good, bad and ugly or I don't say anything. Almost always (99% of the time) it's the later--I keep the conversation on the 15 other things we can talk about---general kid issues, work, vacation, etc.

That said, last evening I went to a sporting game between my kid's current private high school and the public high school that they would have attended. I saw the broader circle of people we used to know: car pool buddies, sports teams members, etc. I was almost universally snubbed. It was weird and uncomfortable. These are people I never once talked about private school with and in the past we always had pleasant conversations when running into each other. It was striking. I'm kind of a sensitive person by nature and I left the evening feeling really down. (I know, I know---I don't have to be universally liked but people were cold) The public/private divide runs deep in DC.

Why are you assuming they ignored you because your kid moved to private school? They probably weren’t really your friends to begin with and forgot about you since you they didn’t see you for a few years and your kid no longer goes to the same school as theirs. Just like if you moved away, you would grow distant from many of the parents of your child’s previous school.

Because we had driven each others' kids for years and years--we had had hundreds of hours of sideline conversation. I don't think a friendly hello (for a minute) would be too much to expect. I wasn't born yesterday--I've left jobs, houses, schools of my own and 99% of the time when I run into someone I once knew and say a hello to them they are friendly back. Not this crowd. Maybe it wasn't the private/public thing. Maybe it's just the weird DC thing.
Their response does not mirror the "run ins" with acquaintances that I've experienced from any other situation I've left in my lifetime.

There's a family at our school that just switched to private and expects everything to be exactly the same, but it's not. For one thing, we were never really friends, we were acquaintances and now that we don't see each other regularly, we're not even acquaintances anymore. Our kids aren't going to stay friends, as much as you try, we have other priorities. It is what it is. Make more real friends.

You're being purposefully obtuse. I'm not looking for ongoing friendship or "real friends" when I say hello on a sideline. Simply a friendly hello when I extend one. If you're unable to give that to families who left for private school then you're an angry person with big problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to this thread...

We moved our kid from public to a DC private high school a few years ago. We're still good friends with a few families from public but I've been pretty purposeful about never portraying private as great (as frankly it is't always)---I'm either really open about the good, bad and ugly or I don't say anything. Almost always (99% of the time) it's the later--I keep the conversation on the 15 other things we can talk about---general kid issues, work, vacation, etc.

That said, last evening I went to a sporting game between my kid's current private high school and the public high school that they would have attended. I saw the broader circle of people we used to know: car pool buddies, sports teams members, etc. I was almost universally snubbed. It was weird and uncomfortable. These are people I never once talked about private school with and in the past we always had pleasant conversations when running into each other. It was striking. I'm kind of a sensitive person by nature and I left the evening feeling really down. (I know, I know---I don't have to be universally liked but people were cold) The public/private divide runs deep in DC.

Why are you assuming they ignored you because your kid moved to private school? They probably weren’t really your friends to begin with and forgot about you since you they didn’t see you for a few years and your kid no longer goes to the same school as theirs. Just like if you moved away, you would grow distant from many of the parents of your child’s previous school.

Because we had driven each others' kids for years and years--we had had hundreds of hours of sideline conversation. I don't think a friendly hello (for a minute) would be too much to expect. I wasn't born yesterday--I've left jobs, houses, schools of my own and 99% of the time when I run into someone I once knew and say a hello to them they are friendly back. Not this crowd. Maybe it wasn't the private/public thing. Maybe it's just the weird DC thing.
Their response does not mirror the "run ins" with acquaintances that I've experienced from any other situation I've left in my lifetime.

There's a family at our school that just switched to private and expects everything to be exactly the same, but it's not. For one thing, we were never really friends, we were acquaintances and now that we don't see each other regularly, we're not even acquaintances anymore. Our kids aren't going to stay friends, as much as you try, we have other priorities. It is what it is. Make more real friends.

You're being purposefully obtuse. I'm not looking for ongoing friendship or "real friends" when I say hello on a sideline. Simply a friendly hello when I extend one. If you're unable to give that to families who left for private school then you're an angry person with big problems.

How often does this happen, though? How often do people give you the cold shoulder? More often, people aren't inviting you and your kids to something because they've moved on, as you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to this thread...

We moved our kid from public to a DC private high school a few years ago. We're still good friends with a few families from public but I've been pretty purposeful about never portraying private as great (as frankly it is't always)---I'm either really open about the good, bad and ugly or I don't say anything. Almost always (99% of the time) it's the later--I keep the conversation on the 15 other things we can talk about---general kid issues, work, vacation, etc.

That said, last evening I went to a sporting game between my kid's current private high school and the public high school that they would have attended. I saw the broader circle of people we used to know: car pool buddies, sports teams members, etc. I was almost universally snubbed. It was weird and uncomfortable. These are people I never once talked about private school with and in the past we always had pleasant conversations when running into each other. It was striking. I'm kind of a sensitive person by nature and I left the evening feeling really down. (I know, I know---I don't have to be universally liked but people were cold) The public/private divide runs deep in DC.

Why are you assuming they ignored you because your kid moved to private school? They probably weren’t really your friends to begin with and forgot about you since you they didn’t see you for a few years and your kid no longer goes to the same school as theirs. Just like if you moved away, you would grow distant from many of the parents of your child’s previous school.

Because we had driven each others' kids for years and years--we had had hundreds of hours of sideline conversation. I don't think a friendly hello (for a minute) would be too much to expect. I wasn't born yesterday--I've left jobs, houses, schools of my own and 99% of the time when I run into someone I once knew and say a hello to them they are friendly back. Not this crowd. Maybe it wasn't the private/public thing. Maybe it's just the weird DC thing.
Their response does not mirror the "run ins" with acquaintances that I've experienced from any other situation I've left in my lifetime.

There's a family at our school that just switched to private and expects everything to be exactly the same, but it's not. For one thing, we were never really friends, we were acquaintances and now that we don't see each other regularly, we're not even acquaintances anymore. Our kids aren't going to stay friends, as much as you try, we have other priorities. It is what it is. Make more real friends.

You're being purposefully obtuse. I'm not looking for ongoing friendship or "real friends" when I say hello on a sideline. Simply a friendly hello when I extend one. If you're unable to give that to families who left for private school then you're an angry person with big problems.

How often does this happen, though? How often do people give you the cold shoulder? More often, people aren't inviting you and your kids to something because they've moved on, as you have.

My post was about one experience of being snubbed on a sideline. Where are you getting anything about invites?
We're not talking about invites.
I'm talking about saying hello on a sideline.

I don't understand people who read a post and answer regarding an entirely different, made-up scenario.

[Anonymous]

The amount of work it took to get our kids into two Bethesda privates was like a full time job. Many people were jealous that we moved out of MCPS, or that we got into these privates.

[Anonymous]

More jealous friends at private school. The parents never thought their angels did anything wrong and the kids were jealous and competitive. Couldn’t be happier to go to public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New to this thread...

We moved our kid from public to a DC private high school a few years ago. We're still good friends with a few families from public but I've been pretty purposeful about never portraying private as great (as frankly it is't always)---I'm either really open about the good, bad and ugly or I don't say anything. Almost always (99% of the time) it's the later--I keep the conversation on the 15 other things we can talk about---general kid issues, work, vacation, etc.

That said, last evening I went to a sporting game between my kid's current private high school and the public high school that they would have attended. I saw the broader circle of people we used to know: car pool buddies, sports teams members, etc. I was almost universally snubbed. It was weird and uncomfortable. These are people I never once talked about private school with and in the past we always had pleasant conversations when running into each other. It was striking. I'm kind of a sensitive person by nature and I left the evening feeling really down. (I know, I know---I don't have to be universally liked but people were cold) The public/private divide runs deep in DC.

Why are you assuming they ignored you because your kid moved to private school? They probably weren’t really your friends to begin with and forgot about you since you they didn’t see you for a few years and your kid no longer goes to the same school as theirs. Just like if you moved away, you would grow distant from many of the parents of your child’s previous school.

Because we had driven each others' kids for years and years--we had had hundreds of hours of sideline conversation. I don't think a friendly hello (for a minute) would be too much to expect. I wasn't born yesterday--I've left jobs, houses, schools of my own and 99% of the time when I run into someone I once knew and say a hello to them they are friendly back. Not this crowd. Maybe it wasn't the private/public thing. Maybe it's just the weird DC thing.
Their response does not mirror the "run ins" with acquaintances that I've experienced from any other situation I've left in my lifetime.

There's a family at our school that just switched to private and expects everything to be exactly the same, but it's not. For one thing, we were never really friends, we were acquaintances and now that we don't see each other regularly, we're not even acquaintances anymore. Our kids aren't going to stay friends, as much as you try, we have other priorities. It is what it is. Make more real friends.

You're being purposefully obtuse. I'm not looking for ongoing friendship or "real friends" when I say hello on a sideline. Simply a friendly hello when I extend one. If you're unable to give that to families who left for private school then you're an angry person with big problems.

Are you sure that somebody's failure to say hello on the sidelines was about you, and about where your kid goes to school? It is human nature for people to assume that everything is about them, when often it is not. Maybe the other parent was focused on the game or was in a foul mood because her kid was not getting ample playing time, or maybe she is mad because her husband was being too friendly with a MILF on the sidelines, or her other kid got in trouble at school, or whatever. It is not always about you. And, even if it is about you, perhaps it is something totally different (a real or perceived snub of their kid?) that has nothing to do with your school choice.

[Anonymous]

We do not talk about which school our DC attend.