The girls I know who dated older guys did it for the $$ or job benefits. Huge ick factor. One was an affair with our boss who was married with kids. She eventually left him and got engaged and our boss made rude comments about her moving to Colorado. His wife was pregnant with 3rd at the time. The other slept with her friend’s Dad secretively and for the $$ perks. Gross. Cringe. |
This is a few years old now, but shows that this notion of women going after meaningfully older men is bunk. For heterosexual couples, the average age difference is about 2.3 years. In 64% of couples the man is older, in 23% of marriages the woman is older, and in 13% if marriages they are within 12 months of each other. The couple where the man is 10+ years older than the woman is very much an outlier.
https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/whats-the-average-age-difference-in-a-couple/amp/ |
You couldn’t date either age range of women. |
Hahahhahhahhahhhahahaaahahahhaha! |
I know, right? |
Oh yeah. I know a lot of guys who have been shamed out of chasing younger girls. Even when I was in law school and all my friends were 24-28 ish, they wouldn’t even date undergrads because they would have been mocked. I have a friend who is 38 who, last week, told me he shut things down with a 26 yr old because he’s too embarrassed to tell friends and family. |
Of course there are some who are and some who are not. In some cases the younger woman is taking advantage of the older man (or thinks that she is). I'm not sure what people in here are arguing about. Older men and younger women are free to make their own choices about who they date. Others are free to judge them for it. While it is shame that years later some people seem to regret their experiences, I'm not sure what they would propose be done about it. I am genuinely interested in hearing what they would propose be done differently. |
Nothing needs to be done differently. Society is already moving in the right direction of it being rarer and rarer. |
You were dating before the apps. It’s extremely common now. As an older man who dates 20s, I like to test if they’ll introduce me to their friends or not. (Only care if they do because it shows they like me more; the relationship will never last longer term so don’t care beyond that) |
DP. Huh? I think people have been pretty clear that older people should not pretty upon younger people with emotional issues. If you do, society will judge you for it. |
Um, yes, there were dating apps when I was in my 20s. I met my husband through OLD. |
Women often feel that they are only valued for their beauty. We often equate youth with beauty. I think some men are really into this idea and speak in a way that is disrespectful to women their age or older. They fetishize youth in their partners and dismiss all women over a certain age as ugly or gross. It’s understandable that these women would then be offended.
Even as a young woman I was grossed out by the whole “trade your 40 y/o wife in for two 20 y/os haha” joke. I think it perpetuates a tired and cruel idea that a woman’s worth is derived only from her beauty and that beauty can only exist for young women. I don’t think that all men who date younger women believe this but there is a loud and vocal group that does. I understand why they bother women of any age. |
Why the bitterness? |
Poster could just said he couldn’t find someone to date him. |
Predatory, shameful old man checking back in. Just got from lunch with a 28-year old exploring career options. She didn't seem to mind my presence much. |