Why so much disgust felt towards men for dating significantly younger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I feel disgust at the thought of dating a man that young because they are still basically children. An older guy who doesn’t recognize that is just….gross.

I also dated older men (40+) when I was early 20s. At the time I thought they were so much more mature than guys my age, but in retrospect, I realize they had big problems which is why they couldn’t date women their own age.

I do understand why younger women do it. Unfortunately men of all ages are mostly a disappointment. Older ones at least have their own place without 3 roommates and sometimes even have real furniture (that you later find out their xW picked out).

Please. Dating women my age is Easy Mode.

Have had short and long relationships with Lawyers, MBAs, State Dept, World Bank, and someone at one of the three-letter agencies. Plus all the non-profit directors.

The real challenge is charming the 26yo who knows she has the attention of every man in the building and then doing it again.

You lost us at you dated “all the non-profit directors.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, I had a negative experience dating an older man in my early 20s and, I’m retrospect, he really fetishized my age and our age gap in a gross way. I am wary of this set up when I see it because I’ve seen it play out in unhealthy ways enough times.

I don’t think it’s always bad and I have seen happy couples with bigger age gaps.

Oh, also I find the opinion, when it is present, that only much younger women are “hot” and the younger the better to be offensive. I am 30 and I would not want to be partnered with someone who was disgusted by the idea of a woman aging.

Older women frequently choose to look less hot. They often give up on keeping the weight in check, often throw away the short sundresses, often get androgynous hairdos.

NP.

All those things relate to aging! It’s harder to keep weight off when you get older, both for biological and environmental reasons (a 25yo often has more time and energy than a 40yo to work out and eat well, plus your uterus starts to stick out), sundresses just don’t look as good when your thighs sag and you have vericose veins, and hair thins as you age and shorter hair can hide that better.

My husband is happy with me even though I’m bigger, more wrinkled, and saggier than I was before. If he thought I should keep looking exactly the same way as I looked when we met, I’d be so creeped out. I’d be looking for an exit probably.

Newsflash, he probably is more viscerally attracted to younger women. But in a long term relationship there is something to be said for a beauty that has evolved and grown older with you. There is a certain charm/nostalgia to it that can, at times, trump the visceral youthful beauty, which is more fleeting.

Well obviously he is. But he’s acting like it isn’t about how he thinks youth is more beautiful, it’s about the beauty choices of older women.

[Anonymous]

I don’t judge men for dating younger women, but I do judge men for being boring, predictable, or having nothing to offer other than money. I have found there is a lot of overlap in these two sets of people but it is not universal— one of the happiest long term relationships I know is between a man in his 70s and a woman in her early 60s, who got together when he was in his late 40s and she was in her early 30s. They are very much the exception, and not the rule.

[Anonymous]

In my father’s case, it’s because it reveals the importance he places on having power over his partner. It means her opinions are irrelevant. She has to do what he wants, in return for being taken care of financially. It’s ethically problematic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why so much disgust and judgement? Isn't there also a significant number of women, especially in their 20's, who don't want to date men their age and prefer older guys? It takes two consenting adults for these relationships to happen.

It’s not as bad a reaction as men dating “older” women, even by weeks or months. Women live longer so marrying much older men makes less sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People using judgement as a way to cope and reconcile with their own regrettable life choices. Typical method these days of shaming men into compliance rather than being an adult and accepting the choices you made.

I see the incels have entered the chat. You all are pathetic! Get over yourselves!

I am a woman and don’t find the previous statement misogynistic or incel like. There are multiple women who posted to share these exact sentiments. They were naive 22 year olds with poor judgement who dated scumbag older men. In hindsight, they do indeed regret that choice. I’m not sure what is controversial about this.

You're misreading the comment you're agreeing with. He believes you are using judgment (calling them "scumbag older men") to cope with your regrettable life choices that led to being a lonely older woman who failed to lock down a "high value man."

No, I read it fine and still agree with it. Naive 22 year old women get with older scumbag older men. Only years later they regret the decision and describe how the older guy was a scumbag who they now feel took advantage of them.

Do you not think a 35yo (+) man is taking advantage when “dating” women 10+ years younger?

This is absurd and ridiculous! Of course not. All of this talk is nothing but a sleight of hand for selfish women to manipulate the dating and marriage market in their favor to accommodate all of their wishes and desires. Nothing at all wrong with a 40 year old dating a 28 year old. A lot of women just want to preserve men in their age cohort for themselves using bs like "predatory" and other shaming crap to accomplish it.

100% this. When a man is in his teens/early 20's he is forced to sit by and watch as large percentages of women his age go for the older guys, then once he reaches his 30's he is supposed to go for the same women who ignored him when he was younger, who have now aged significantly and are no longer as attractive. These women use shaming tactics to coerce men into dating older than they normally would. Of course not all men have the option to date 25 year olds when they are 35+, you need to have something that makes you attractive whether it be wealth, looks, confidence, or some combination of these. But those men who do have the ability to date younger should not be shamed for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People using judgement as a way to cope and reconcile with their own regrettable life choices. Typical method these days of shaming men into compliance rather than being an adult and accepting the choices you made.

I see the incels have entered the chat. You all are pathetic! Get over yourselves!

I am a woman and don’t find the previous statement misogynistic or incel like. There are multiple women who posted to share these exact sentiments. They were naive 22 year olds with poor judgement who dated scumbag older men. In hindsight, they do indeed regret that choice. I’m not sure what is controversial about this.

You're misreading the comment you're agreeing with. He believes you are using judgment (calling them "scumbag older men") to cope with your regrettable life choices that led to being a lonely older woman who failed to lock down a "high value man."

No, I read it fine and still agree with it. Naive 22 year old women get with older scumbag older men. Only years later they regret the decision and describe how the older guy was a scumbag who they now feel took advantage of them.

Do you not think a 35yo (+) man is taking advantage when “dating” women 10+ years younger?

This is absurd and ridiculous! Of course not. All of this talk is nothing but a sleight of hand for selfish women to manipulate the dating and marriage market in their favor to accommodate all of their wishes and desires. Nothing at all wrong with a 40 year old dating a 28 year old. A lot of women just want to preserve men in their age cohort for themselves using bs like "predatory" and other shaming crap to accomplish it.

100% this. When a man is in his teens/early 20's he is forced to sit by and watch as large percentages of women his age go for the older guys, then once he reaches his 30's he is supposed to go for the same women who ignored him when he was younger, who have now aged significantly and are no longer as attractive. These women use shaming tactics to coerce men into dating older than they normally would. Of course not all men have the option to date 25 year olds when they are 35+, you need to have something that makes you attractive whether it be wealth, looks, confidence, or some combination of these. But those men who do have the ability to date younger should not be shamed for it.

Golly gee men have it so hard boohoo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People using judgement as a way to cope and reconcile with their own regrettable life choices. Typical method these days of shaming men into compliance rather than being an adult and accepting the choices you made.

I see the incels have entered the chat. You all are pathetic! Get over yourselves!

I am a woman and don’t find the previous statement misogynistic or incel like. There are multiple women who posted to share these exact sentiments. They were naive 22 year olds with poor judgement who dated scumbag older men. In hindsight, they do indeed regret that choice. I’m not sure what is controversial about this.

You're misreading the comment you're agreeing with. He believes you are using judgment (calling them "scumbag older men") to cope with your regrettable life choices that led to being a lonely older woman who failed to lock down a "high value man."

No, I read it fine and still agree with it. Naive 22 year old women get with older scumbag older men. Only years later they regret the decision and describe how the older guy was a scumbag who they now feel took advantage of them.

Do you not think a 35yo (+) man is taking advantage when “dating” women 10+ years younger?

This is absurd and ridiculous! Of course not. All of this talk is nothing but a sleight of hand for selfish women to manipulate the dating and marriage market in their favor to accommodate all of their wishes and desires. Nothing at all wrong with a 40 year old dating a 28 year old. A lot of women just want to preserve men in their age cohort for themselves using bs like "predatory" and other shaming crap to accomplish it.

100% this. When a man is in his teens/early 20's he is forced to sit by and watch as large percentages of women his age go for the older guys, then once he reaches his 30's he is supposed to go for the same women who ignored him when he was younger, who have now aged significantly and are no longer as attractive. These women use shaming tactics to coerce men into dating older than they normally would. Of course not all men have the option to date 25 year olds when they are 35+, you need to have something that makes you attractive whether it be wealth, looks, confidence, or some combination of these. But those men who do have the ability to date younger should not be shamed for it.

Lol. I have never once met a men who was “shamed” into dating someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People using judgement as a way to cope and reconcile with their own regrettable life choices. Typical method these days of shaming men into compliance rather than being an adult and accepting the choices you made.

I see the incels have entered the chat. You all are pathetic! Get over yourselves!

I am a woman and don’t find the previous statement misogynistic or incel like. There are multiple women who posted to share these exact sentiments. They were naive 22 year olds with poor judgement who dated scumbag older men. In hindsight, they do indeed regret that choice. I’m not sure what is controversial about this.

You're misreading the comment you're agreeing with. He believes you are using judgment (calling them "scumbag older men") to cope with your regrettable life choices that led to being a lonely older woman who failed to lock down a "high value man."

No, I read it fine and still agree with it. Naive 22 year old women get with older scumbag older men. Only years later they regret the decision and describe how the older guy was a scumbag who they now feel took advantage of them.

Do you not think a 35yo (+) man is taking advantage when “dating” women 10+ years younger?

This is absurd and ridiculous! Of course not. All of this talk is nothing but a sleight of hand for selfish women to manipulate the dating and marriage market in their favor to accommodate all of their wishes and desires. Nothing at all wrong with a 40 year old dating a 28 year old. A lot of women just want to preserve men in their age cohort for themselves using bs like "predatory" and other shaming crap to accomplish it.

100% this. When a man is in his teens/early 20's he is forced to sit by and watch as large percentages of women his age go for the older guys, then once he reaches his 30's he is supposed to go for the same women who ignored him when he was younger, who have now aged significantly and are no longer as attractive. These women use shaming tactics to coerce men into dating older than they normally would. Of course not all men have the option to date 25 year olds when they are 35+, you need to have something that makes you attractive whether it be wealth, looks, confidence, or some combination of these. But those men who do have the ability to date younger should not be shamed for it.

I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. Never in my whole life did a large number of women in my age range go for older men. I’m in my mid 30s now. My whole life that’s been a weird fringe thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At the end of the day, it's because women are competing against other women for eligible men and all else being equal, younger people are more physically attractive.

Same reason the incel culture exists, because women can have sex easier than men and some men resent that fact.

But why do the women want to date older men when they have many more younger and hotter options? When I was in my early 20’s I thought any guy over 30 was too old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People using judgement as a way to cope and reconcile with their own regrettable life choices. Typical method these days of shaming men into compliance rather than being an adult and accepting the choices you made.

I see the incels have entered the chat. You all are pathetic! Get over yourselves!

I am a woman and don’t find the previous statement misogynistic or incel like. There are multiple women who posted to share these exact sentiments. They were naive 22 year olds with poor judgement who dated scumbag older men. In hindsight, they do indeed regret that choice. I’m not sure what is controversial about this.

You're misreading the comment you're agreeing with. He believes you are using judgment (calling them "scumbag older men") to cope with your regrettable life choices that led to being a lonely older woman who failed to lock down a "high value man."

No, I read it fine and still agree with it. Naive 22 year old women get with older scumbag older men. Only years later they regret the decision and describe how the older guy was a scumbag who they now feel took advantage of them.

Do you not think a 35yo (+) man is taking advantage when “dating” women 10+ years younger?

This is absurd and ridiculous! Of course not. All of this talk is nothing but a sleight of hand for selfish women to manipulate the dating and marriage market in their favor to accommodate all of their wishes and desires. Nothing at all wrong with a 40 year old dating a 28 year old. A lot of women just want to preserve men in their age cohort for themselves using bs like "predatory" and other shaming crap to accomplish it.

100% this. When a man is in his teens/early 20's he is forced to sit by and watch as large percentages of women his age go for the older guys, then once he reaches his 30's he is supposed to go for the same women who ignored him when he was younger, who have now aged significantly and are no longer as attractive. These women use shaming tactics to coerce men into dating older than they normally would. Of course not all men have the option to date 25 year olds when they are 35+, you need to have something that makes you attractive whether it be wealth, looks, confidence, or some combination of these. But those men who do have the ability to date younger should not be shamed for it.

Lol. I have never once met a men who was “shamed” into dating someone.

More like shamed in to not dating younger which logically leaves the older cohort as the socially acceptable dating pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People using judgement as a way to cope and reconcile with their own regrettable life choices. Typical method these days of shaming men into compliance rather than being an adult and accepting the choices you made.

I see the incels have entered the chat. You all are pathetic! Get over yourselves!

I am a woman and don’t find the previous statement misogynistic or incel like. There are multiple women who posted to share these exact sentiments. They were naive 22 year olds with poor judgement who dated scumbag older men. In hindsight, they do indeed regret that choice. I’m not sure what is controversial about this.

You're misreading the comment you're agreeing with. He believes you are using judgment (calling them "scumbag older men") to cope with your regrettable life choices that led to being a lonely older woman who failed to lock down a "high value man."

No, I read it fine and still agree with it. Naive 22 year old women get with older scumbag older men. Only years later they regret the decision and describe how the older guy was a scumbag who they now feel took advantage of them.

Do you not think a 35yo (+) man is taking advantage when “dating” women 10+ years younger?

This is absurd and ridiculous! Of course not. All of this talk is nothing but a sleight of hand for selfish women to manipulate the dating and marriage market in their favor to accommodate all of their wishes and desires. Nothing at all wrong with a 40 year old dating a 28 year old. A lot of women just want to preserve men in their age cohort for themselves using bs like "predatory" and other shaming crap to accomplish it.

100% this. When a man is in his teens/early 20's he is forced to sit by and watch as large percentages of women his age go for the older guys, then once he reaches his 30's he is supposed to go for the same women who ignored him when he was younger, who have now aged significantly and are no longer as attractive. These women use shaming tactics to coerce men into dating older than they normally would. Of course not all men have the option to date 25 year olds when they are 35+, you need to have something that makes you attractive whether it be wealth, looks, confidence, or some combination of these. But those men who do have the ability to date younger should not be shamed for it.

I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. Never in my whole life did a large number of women in my age range go for older men. I’m in my mid 30s now. My whole life that’s been a weird fringe thing.

+1. Other than a couple of women who had very obvious emotional issues, I didn’t know any women who dated significantly older than them when I was in my 20s. Within a few years, sure, but nothing dramatic (and some dates/married men within a few years younger as well).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People using judgement as a way to cope and reconcile with their own regrettable life choices. Typical method these days of shaming men into compliance rather than being an adult and accepting the choices you made.

I see the incels have entered the chat. You all are pathetic! Get over yourselves!

I am a woman and don’t find the previous statement misogynistic or incel like. There are multiple women who posted to share these exact sentiments. They were naive 22 year olds with poor judgement who dated scumbag older men. In hindsight, they do indeed regret that choice. I’m not sure what is controversial about this.

You're misreading the comment you're agreeing with. He believes you are using judgment (calling them "scumbag older men") to cope with your regrettable life choices that led to being a lonely older woman who failed to lock down a "high value man."

No, I read it fine and still agree with it. Naive 22 year old women get with older scumbag older men. Only years later they regret the decision and describe how the older guy was a scumbag who they now feel took advantage of them.

Do you not think a 35yo (+) man is taking advantage when “dating” women 10+ years younger?

This is absurd and ridiculous! Of course not. All of this talk is nothing but a sleight of hand for selfish women to manipulate the dating and marriage market in their favor to accommodate all of their wishes and desires. Nothing at all wrong with a 40 year old dating a 28 year old. A lot of women just want to preserve men in their age cohort for themselves using bs like "predatory" and other shaming crap to accomplish it.

100% this. When a man is in his teens/early 20's he is forced to sit by and watch as large percentages of women his age go for the older guys, then once he reaches his 30's he is supposed to go for the same women who ignored him when he was younger, who have now aged significantly and are no longer as attractive. These women use shaming tactics to coerce men into dating older than they normally would. Of course not all men have the option to date 25 year olds when they are 35+, you need to have something that makes you attractive whether it be wealth, looks, confidence, or some combination of these. But those men who do have the ability to date younger should not be shamed for it.

Lol. I have never once met a men who was “shamed” into dating someone.

More like shamed in to not dating younger which logically leaves the older cohort as the socially acceptable dating pool.

Have you really met a man who decided against dating somebody younger for the sole reason that people would judge him for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People using judgement as a way to cope and reconcile with their own regrettable life choices. Typical method these days of shaming men into compliance rather than being an adult and accepting the choices you made.

I see the incels have entered the chat. You all are pathetic! Get over yourselves!

I am a woman and don’t find the previous statement misogynistic or incel like. There are multiple women who posted to share these exact sentiments. They were naive 22 year olds with poor judgement who dated scumbag older men. In hindsight, they do indeed regret that choice. I’m not sure what is controversial about this.

You're misreading the comment you're agreeing with. He believes you are using judgment (calling them "scumbag older men") to cope with your regrettable life choices that led to being a lonely older woman who failed to lock down a "high value man."

No, I read it fine and still agree with it. Naive 22 year old women get with older scumbag older men. Only years later they regret the decision and describe how the older guy was a scumbag who they now feel took advantage of them.

Do you not think a 35yo (+) man is taking advantage when “dating” women 10+ years younger?

This is absurd and ridiculous! Of course not. All of this talk is nothing but a sleight of hand for selfish women to manipulate the dating and marriage market in their favor to accommodate all of their wishes and desires. Nothing at all wrong with a 40 year old dating a 28 year old. A lot of women just want to preserve men in their age cohort for themselves using bs like "predatory" and other shaming crap to accomplish it.

100% this. When a man is in his teens/early 20's he is forced to sit by and watch as large percentages of women his age go for the older guys, then once he reaches his 30's he is supposed to go for the same women who ignored him when he was younger, who have now aged significantly and are no longer as attractive. These women use shaming tactics to coerce men into dating older than they normally would. Of course not all men have the option to date 25 year olds when they are 35+, you need to have something that makes you attractive whether it be wealth, looks, confidence, or some combination of these. But those men who do have the ability to date younger should not be shamed for it.

Just say you had a hard time finding people to date, sheesh.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think about it. However, not going to date these old coots when they age out or are too broke to continue that nonsense. It takes a lack of maturity to go deeply younger.