Please suggest a kind and gentle school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the suggestions. My DC is a good student for the most part, but he can be easily derailed by cruelty. The frat scene would not be a good place. He is kind, currently working as a volunteer helping those in need. But he has suffered from depression. I like the idea of schools in sunnier locations, but those would be far away, and the four to five hour drive radius is attractive.

My DC graduated from a SLAC with no frats, and she's often mentioned how grateful she is that her college had no frat scene.

+1

DP. My DC is currently at a SLAC with no Greek system and also says it makes things much mellower. I think that for a kid like OP describes, a Greek-free campus or at least one where social life is not dominated by Greek life would be preferable. Even kids who are not Greek can end up feeling like that system is the core of much social life, on many campuses. Not a great scene for kids like OP's -- or even for kids like my own, who is highly social but not at all into the party scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tread carefully WRT William and Mary. Students have heavy workloads and the profs have very high expectations. The freshman (non-Lemon, or the else Monroe Scholars’) dorms are in deplorable condition for the most expensive state-supported school in the country.
Please be aware that mental health issues can become an issue. https://flathatnews.com/2021/05/03/84-forced-hospitalizations-in-six-years-students-detail-negative-experiences-with-mental-health-services/

Is this true re: W&M? We're waiting to hear application status and were aware of the heavy workloads, but also heard it was a supportive environment. Didn't know the freshman dorms were also horrible - is that true?

They don't have air conditioning and are very old.

Back a few years ago, it, like Cornell, had an abnormally high suicide rate amongst students due to stress.

This is a rumor. It has far fewer suicides than you would predict based on its number of students. In the 2014-2015 academic they had several suicides (which sadly wouldn't be unexpected in a college of its size--and was still below what you would just predict on average) and they responded by more proactive prevention policies. Their policies drew attention so people wrote about it thinking the problem must be "worse" there than elsewhere. The reality is that they have a low rate and a responsive school (that raised concern and created prevention policies despite not having a major problem). The persistence of rumors like this though is a disincentive for schools to create preventative resources because then people think it must be a real problem there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UVA

+1
My introspective, very bright kid has found their tribe. Ignore the stereotypes.

Nope. I am an alum so no axe to grind but "kind and gentle?" it is not

I respect your lived experience. My child is a current student, not an alum. Are you a recent graduate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:George Washington is supposed to have happy students. They have a smaller campus that's very nice and quiet, as well as downtown dorms, which I couldn't stand, but I'm a small town person, not that it matters! My DC almost went there for engineering. Kids were very nice. Also UMBC, which is smallish, lots of commuters, laid back atmosphere, but good school if you don't mind the ugly campus!!

noooo. I went to George Washington and while I had a good experience, it is about as far from a "kind and gentle" school as I can imagine. It is a pretty status conscious school and you really have to be ambitious, driven, independent, and a go-getter to do well there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the suggestions. My DC is a good student for the most part, but he can be easily derailed by cruelty. The frat scene would not be a good place. He is kind, currently working as a volunteer helping those in need. But he has suffered from depression. I like the idea of schools in sunnier locations, but those would be far away, and the four to five hour drive radius is attractive.

My DC graduated from a SLAC with no frats, and she's often mentioned how grateful she is that her college had no frat scene.

+1

DP. My DC is currently at a SLAC with no Greek system and also says it makes things much mellower. I think that for a kid like OP describes, a Greek-free campus or at least one where social life is not dominated by Greek life would be preferable. Even kids who are not Greek can end up feeling like that system is the core of much social life, on many campuses. Not a great scene for kids like OP's -- or even for kids like my own, who is highly social but not at all into the party scene.

+2
I'm a Mary Washington alum and one of the main reasons I picked that school was it having no Greek system. There was still plenty of socializing and parties - but with everyone. It was a great way to meet other students on a small campus. Loved it there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the suggestions. My DC is a good student for the most part, but he can be easily derailed by cruelty. The frat scene would not be a good place. He is kind, currently working as a volunteer helping those in need. But he has suffered from depression. I like the idea of schools in sunnier locations, but those would be far away, and the four to five hour drive radius is attractive.

My DC graduated from a SLAC with no frats, and she's often mentioned how grateful she is that her college had no frat scene.

+1

DP. My DC is currently at a SLAC with no Greek system and also says it makes things much mellower. I think that for a kid like OP describes, a Greek-free campus or at least one where social life is not dominated by Greek life would be preferable. Even kids who are not Greek can end up feeling like that system is the core of much social life, on many campuses. Not a great scene for kids like OP's -- or even for kids like my own, who is highly social but not at all into the party scene.

+2
I'm a Mary Washington alum and one of the main reasons I picked that school was it having no Greek system. There was still plenty of socializing and parties - but with everyone. It was a great way to meet other students on a small campus. Loved it there.

+1 Very underrated school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was there a process or criteria you used to identify F&M and W&M? Those are interesting choices, given your question.

Franklin & Marshall is known to be a pressure cooker. Very intense academically. I would not send a kid with depression there. He needs to feel successful, and that is not the type of atmosphere that will be nurturing. Great school, but not for a kid with the issues you describe, OP. W&M I don't know anything about personally, but I've been told it's quite competitive. It's hard to get into, so attracts competitive, high achievers. Dickenson might be a good choice. Near F&M, but lower pressure. Seemed like a more relaxed place. My kid was very interested, but didn't get enough FA.

I know a girl who was struggling with depression and other emotional issues. Things didn’t work out from the get-go at W&M and she left spatter freshman year. I wouldn’t recommend it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Similar and we looked at stone hill and Wheaton in Massachusetts, Wooster, st Olaf, muhlenberg, goucher, Allegheny, and Niagara.

What did you think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tread carefully WRT William and Mary. Students have heavy workloads and the profs have very high expectations. The freshman (non-Lemon, or the else Monroe Scholars’) dorms are in deplorable condition for the most expensive state-supported school in the country.
Please be aware that mental health issues can become an issue. https://flathatnews.com/2021/05/03/84-forced-hospitalizations-in-six-years-students-detail-negative-experiences-with-mental-health-services/

Is this true re: W&M? We're waiting to hear application status and were aware of the heavy workloads, but also heard it was a supportive environment. Didn't know the freshman dorms were also horrible - is that true?

NP. W&M was intense academically when I graduated over 10 years ago. I’m sure it’s only gotten more competitive since. It also feels isolating since it’s in a place filled with retirees, military and tourists. If you want a gentle place, W&M ain’t it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tread carefully WRT William and Mary. Students have heavy workloads and the profs have very high expectations. The freshman (non-Lemon, or the else Monroe Scholars’) dorms are in deplorable condition for the most expensive state-supported school in the country.
Please be aware that mental health issues can become an issue. https://flathatnews.com/2021/05/03/84-forced-hospitalizations-in-six-years-students-detail-negative-experiences-with-mental-health-services/

Is this true re: W&M? We're waiting to hear application status and were aware of the heavy workloads, but also heard it was a supportive environment. Didn't know the freshman dorms were also horrible - is that true?

NP. W&M was intense academically when I graduated over 10 years ago. I’m sure it’s only gotten more competitive since. It also feels isolating since it’s in a place filled with retirees, military and tourists. If you want a gentle place, W&M ain’t it.

This person posts the same thing about W&M whenever someone inquires about it. PP, you made your point about this school many posts ago, trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Manhattan College.

Professors are expected to refer any who are struggling within the first 5 weeks of a semester to the Student Success Office. Staff then go knocking on the student’s door. They don’t wait for students to come to them, they seek the students out. I find this policy very unusual and have been very impressed with this level of commitment to students.

We are planning a visit to Manhattan College so thanks for that info. Anything else you'd like to add? Positive or negative. Thanks!

Sure. Here goes.

1. Campus/Location - A cozy 22 acre, very walkable campus in the exclusive Fieldston/Riverdale Bronx neighborhood on the City border with Westchester County. Although the campus is small, there is plenty of open space across Broadway. When you walk out the front door of one of the twin, high rise dorms, the 1000+ acre Van Cortlandt Park is literally across the street, large enough to contain a public golf course and the premier cross country running path in NYC. There is a subway stop right there on Broadway for access into Manhattan.

2. Academics - In addition to A&S, the college has Schools of Engineering, Business, and Education & Health, thereby providing a wide range of majors including ones in which a student can actually get a job upon graduation. The College has a fine reputation in NYC, a large local alumni network, and good access to internships.

3. Access - Campus is easily reached by car, a short drive up the Henry Hudson Parkway from the George Washington Bridge. There is parking in a campus parking garage across the street from the main entrance on Manhattan College Parkway. Call in advance to make parking arrangements.

4. Dining Out - There are a number of restaurants to choose from in Riverdale, but for a real treat, drive 10 minutes up the road to “X20 on the Hudson” in Yonkers. Located on a pier in the river, it offers magnificent views of the Hudson and of the Palisades on the opposite shore. Food & service were excellent when we were there a few years ago and you can enjoy watching the boats go by.

5. To See & Do in the Area - A walk around Fieldston is a delight. A charming, private but ungated community with an eclectic mix of homes, even the streets are privately owned. In addition, 10 minutes south of campus, in Fort Tryon Park on a bluff overlooking the Hudson is The Cloisters, a collection of 4 authentic cloisters moved to NY from France a century ago and today housing an impressive collection of medieval art, displayed in a very unique medieval setting. There are dining options at The Cloisters.

Enjoy your visit.

Love this review.

Many years ago, I lived near the Cloisters. Such a beautiful area. Would love to hear what the student thought of Manhattan College.

[Anonymous]

I have a current Junior at W&M. I have a good friend with a Sophomore, recently spoke to a different Sophomore and spoke to 2 parents of Freshman today. The “academically intense” and sad and boring descriptions read on this board is not the experience of any of the people I personally know. Maybe it is more of a student dependent experience? But my kid, and those I have talked to, describe a kind place. Not to say it isn’t challenging- but not a grinder school, at all, at least in the experience of those I know. Also- all of these kids are involved in activities- which helps a lot, IMO.

[Anonymous]

University of Hartford. They also have a section called hillyer college that is even smaller and gives student even more attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the suggestions. My DC is a good student for the most part, but he can be easily derailed by cruelty. The frat scene would not be a good place. He is kind, currently working as a volunteer helping those in need. But he has suffered from depression. I like the idea of schools in sunnier locations, but those would be far away, and the four to five hour drive radius is attractive.

My DC graduated from a SLAC with no frats, and she's often mentioned how grateful she is that her college had no frat scene.

+1

DP. My DC is currently at a SLAC with no Greek system and also says it makes things much mellower. I think that for a kid like OP describes, a Greek-free campus or at least one where social life is not dominated by Greek life would be preferable. Even kids who are not Greek can end up feeling like that system is the core of much social life, on many campuses. Not a great scene for kids like OP's -- or even for kids like my own, who is highly social but not at all into the party scene.

+2
I'm a Mary Washington alum and one of the main reasons I picked that school was it having no Greek system. There was still plenty of socializing and parties - but with everyone. It was a great way to meet other students on a small campus. Loved it there.

+1 Very underrated school.

+1

My kid is a UMW grad. Part of the appeal was lack of Greek scene and football culture. Great experience.

[Anonymous]

McDaniel College in Westminster, MD. My younger sister went there and it was incredibly supportive (she is very bright and has a mild learning difference). I visited her several times and could not get over how NICE, friendly, and caring everyone was - her friends were great, but this also included random people encountered around campus. It was a huge contrast to my competitive SLAC. I struggled with depression and anxiety during college and while I was able to get effective treatment quickly and was able to remain reasonably functional, it was clear that with kids who were in worse shape than I was, the school would quickly send them home until they could get it together. The health center was awesome but outside those walls, there was not much support from the school. Definitely a sense that if you couldn't hack it, there were plenty of transfer students out there who would love to take your place. I undoubtedly would have felt more supported at a school like McDaniel where they wouldn't let you fall through the cracks. It is definitely a college where anyone can feel safe and cared for. A great education too - my sister and her friends (very bright and dynamic people) went on to successful careers in education, nursing, and business. Unlike me, they all were employed in their fields very quickly after graduation.