Please suggest a kind and gentle school

[Anonymous]

Someone earlier wrote St. Marys in MD (small, public university). I knew a suicidal girl who went there + said it saved her. (Not saying your son is suicial).

[Anonymous]

OP, W&M draws two crowds on here: one who thinks it isn't that great, and the other who defends it to the death from the first group, almost like they work for the school...

St. Mary's in MD is similar to W&M and is a much more nurturing place, based on anecdotes I've heard from alumni.

[Anonymous]

I would *strongly* encourage you to send your kid to a place where his test scores are comfortably over the 75th percentile. Set him up for academic success & more pleasant interactions with the faculty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:McDaniel College in Westminster, MD. My younger sister went there and it was incredibly supportive (she is very bright and has a mild learning difference). I visited her several times and could not get over how NICE, friendly, and caring everyone was - her friends were great, but this also included random people encountered around campus. It was a huge contrast to my competitive SLAC. I struggled with depression and anxiety during college and while I was able to get effective treatment quickly and was able to remain reasonably functional, it was clear that with kids who were in worse shape than I was, the school would quickly send them home until they could get it together. The health center was awesome but outside those walls, there was not much support from the school. Definitely a sense that if you couldn't hack it, there were plenty of transfer students out there who would love to take your place. I undoubtedly would have felt more supported at a school like McDaniel where they wouldn't let you fall through the cracks. It is definitely a college where anyone can feel safe and cared for. A great education too - my sister and her friends (very bright and dynamic people) went on to successful careers in education, nursing, and business. Unlike me, they all were employed in their fields very quickly after graduation.

McDaniel is one of those “colleges that change lives” (www.cycle.org). Glad to hear that it lives up to its billing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:McDaniel College in Westminster, MD. My younger sister went there and it was incredibly supportive (she is very bright and has a mild learning difference). I visited her several times and could not get over how NICE, friendly, and caring everyone was - her friends were great, but this also included random people encountered around campus. It was a huge contrast to my competitive SLAC. I struggled with depression and anxiety during college and while I was able to get effective treatment quickly and was able to remain reasonably functional, it was clear that with kids who were in worse shape than I was, the school would quickly send them home until they could get it together. The health center was awesome but outside those walls, there was not much support from the school. Definitely a sense that if you couldn't hack it, there were plenty of transfer students out there who would love to take your place. I undoubtedly would have felt more supported at a school like McDaniel where they wouldn't let you fall through the cracks. It is definitely a college where anyone can feel safe and cared for. A great education too - my sister and her friends (very bright and dynamic people) went on to successful careers in education, nursing, and business. Unlike me, they all were employed in their fields very quickly after graduation.

McDaniel is one of those “colleges that change lives” (www.cycle.org). Glad to hear that it lives up to its billing.

Sorry but the link should read www.ctcl.org.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UVA

+1
My introspective, very bright kid has found their tribe. Ignore the stereotypes.

Nope. I am an alum so no axe to grind but "kind and gentle?" it is not

Current W&M parent and I would agree that it not "kind and gentle". DD loves it and has great friends and has made great connections with professors - but it is a heavy workload and has had two friends with mental health issues who have found the intensity to be too much for them and transferred.

[Anonymous]

Not being snarky. This is an honest inquiry. I've seen similar posts where parents use words like kind, gentle, nurturing, etc to describe attributes for a college. Does this continue until adulthood? Kind and gentle graduate school, employer, landlord? No need to be defensive. Just wondering when you "release the reins"?

[Anonymous]

The world would be a far better place if everyone and thing was kind and gentle.

I doubt that anyone right now wouldn’t want the Ukraine to be a kind and gentle place or for the rest of the world to stop being kind and gentle in offering aid and support to them.

[Anonymous]

Midwest SLAC

[Anonymous]

What about Christopher Newport?

[Anonymous]

Wooster

[Anonymous]

St. Mary's seems like a big step down from W&M. Hope you can find something in between

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I would tread carefully WRT William and Mary. Students have heavy workloads and the profs have very high expectations. The freshman (non-Lemon, or the else Monroe Scholars’) dorms are in deplorable condition for the most expensive state-supported school in the country.
Please be aware that mental health issues can become an issue. https://flathatnews.com/2021/05/03/84-forced-hospitalizations-in-six-years-students-detail-negative-experiences-with-mental-health-services/

Is this true re: W&M? We're waiting to hear application status and were aware of the heavy workloads, but also heard it was a supportive environment. Didn't know the freshman dorms were also horrible - is that true?

They don't have air conditioning and are very old.

Back a few years ago, it, like Cornell, had an abnormally high suicide rate amongst students due to stress.

This is a rumor. It has far fewer suicides than you would predict based on its number of students. In the 2014-2015 academic they had several suicides (which sadly wouldn't be unexpected in a college of its size--and was still below what you would just predict on average) and they responded by more proactive prevention policies. Their policies drew attention so people wrote about it thinking the problem must be "worse" there than elsewhere. The reality is that they have a low rate and a responsive school (that raised concern and created prevention policies despite not having a major problem). The persistence of rumors like this though is a disincentive for schools to create preventative resources because then people think it must be a real problem there.

It is not a "rumor". It was a very big deal in 2014 and we all remember it. Here's a 2015 Wash. Post article on it. Same with the Cornell bridge. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2015/04/15/suicide-at-william-mary-fourth-this-year-triggers-concern-about-mental-health/

[Anonymous]

I recommend loyola maryland if he has problems with executive functioning skills

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tread carefully WRT William and Mary. Students have heavy workloads and the profs have very high expectations. The freshman (non-Lemon, or the else Monroe Scholars’) dorms are in deplorable condition for the most expensive state-supported school in the country.
Please be aware that mental health issues can become an issue. https://flathatnews.com/2021/05/03/84-forced-hospitalizations-in-six-years-students-detail-negative-experiences-with-mental-health-services/

Is this true re: W&M? We're waiting to hear application status and were aware of the heavy workloads, but also heard it was a supportive environment. Didn't know the freshman dorms were also horrible - is that true?

They don't have air conditioning and are very old.

Back a few years ago, it, like Cornell, had an abnormally high suicide rate amongst students due to stress.

This is a rumor. It has far fewer suicides than you would predict based on its number of students. In the 2014-2015 academic they had several suicides (which sadly wouldn't be unexpected in a college of its size--and was still below what you would just predict on average) and they responded by more proactive prevention policies. Their policies drew attention so people wrote about it thinking the problem must be "worse" there than elsewhere. The reality is that they have a low rate and a responsive school (that raised concern and created prevention policies despite not having a major problem). The persistence of rumors like this though is a disincentive for schools to create preventative resources because then people think it must be a real problem there.

It is not a "rumor". It was a very big deal in 2014 and we all remember it. Here's a 2015 Wash. Post article on it. Same with the Cornell bridge. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2015/04/15/suicide-at-william-mary-fourth-this-year-triggers-concern-about-mental-health/

Yes, there were 4 or 5 suicides that year in 2014-2015, which is terrible as I mentioned above. But the expected rate of suicides based on averages for their age group would be 7. So even in their worst year they were below average. But the Washington Post used them as an example for their opinion on concerns for mental health etc. Doesn't mean they were "worse" than anywhere else, articles like this--that don't contextualize that it's a problem all over--and actually not as bad at W&M than others-lead people to think it's terrible there. (BTW, I don't work for W&M nor am I an alum--I just care about mental health and hate that schools that create preventative resources get penalized for it).