Please suggest a kind and gentle school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP thank you for this thread. I'd love to hear more. I have a DC who is extremely bright and high performing but also has anxiety and ADHD and I'm concerned about their ability to handle going to the kind of schools they are thinking about (more elite LACs) based on academic talent when their emotional state can be pretty fragile. There are many times over the past year I've thought to myself how is this kid going to handle being away at school and the answer is I don't know and it really worries me. I'm also considering having them do a gap year to push off college and have the change to grow/mature a bit more. Not sure what the best answer is.

We’re in the same boat - DC has the stats to get into some highly selective LACs, but I’m unsure if they will be able to handle a high intensity place away from home. Check out the CTCL schools https://ctcl.org/ which have more systems in place to engage students throughout their four years in experiential learning. When we toured a couple of these school, my DC really liked the vibe. Tour some of these schools and see how your DC feels at each. I would rather my DC flourish at a CTCL school than flounder at a highly selective school.

My kid has flourished at a CTCL, having turned down 6 higher ranked acceptances. I highly recommend that route (ie., she gained confidence, took on leadership roles, stood out in the eyes of faculty, who wrote her winning letters for prestigious internships)...you are on to something.

[Anonymous]

My DC has a lot of anxiety issues (treated but no silver bullet). Anyone know how St. Joseph’s in Philly would be for a child like this? Solid academics but best with a moderate workload and helpful professors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you looked at F&M, how about St. Joe's in Philly? It's small and nurturing. I know they have a sober dorm and a strong program for autistic kids ... not suggesting either of those issues are your kids' issues, but it sounds kind and gentle to me!

This is amazing to know. Thank you for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC has a lot of anxiety issues (treated but no silver bullet). Anyone know how St. Joseph’s in Philly would be for a child like this? Solid academics but best with a moderate workload and helpful professors.

I think the work load will depend a lot on the major.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snarky. This is an honest inquiry. I've seen similar posts where parents use words like kind, gentle, nurturing, etc to describe attributes for a college. Does this continue until adulthood? Kind and gentle graduate school, employer, landlord? No need to be defensive. Just wondering when you "release the reins"?

I mean, I work for a kind employer - mostly gentle - and it is a huge attribute to me at 44...

+100 I have zero interest in working for an employer who is not kind. Why would you?? My college son has an internship this summer and all indications are that the company culture is very kind and supportive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being snarky. This is an honest inquiry. I've seen similar posts where parents use words like kind, gentle, nurturing, etc to describe attributes for a college. Does this continue until adulthood? Kind and gentle graduate school, employer, landlord? No need to be defensive. Just wondering when you "release the reins"?

I mean, I work for a kind employer - mostly gentle - and it is a huge attribute to me at 44...

+100 I have zero interest in working for an employer who is not kind. Why would you?? My college son has an internship this summer and all indications are that the company culture is very kind and supportive.

+1 I've noticed that recent generations are much more attuned to that. They want a certain kind of culture and will walk if they don't get it. I think they are smart. The old school 'toughen up buttercup' style is basically abusive and they won't get the talent.

[Anonymous]

Saint Francis University in Pennsylvania . Great place very friendly but very rural. Really great programs in Allied Health. About 200 miles from the DMV. They are Franciscan.

[Anonymous]

McDaniel and St. Mary’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you looked at F&M, how about St. Joe's in Philly? It's small and nurturing. I know they have a sober dorm and a strong program for autistic kids ... not suggesting either of those issues are your kids' issues, but it sounds kind and gentle to me!

This is amazing to know. Thank you for sharing.

You’re welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP thank you for this thread. I'd love to hear more. I have a DC who is extremely bright and high performing but also has anxiety and ADHD and I'm concerned about their ability to handle going to the kind of schools they are thinking about (more elite LACs) based on academic talent when their emotional state can be pretty fragile. There are many times over the past year I've thought to myself how is this kid going to handle being away at school and the answer is I don't know and it really worries me. I'm also considering having them do a gap year to push off college and have the change to grow/mature a bit more. Not sure what the best answer is.

We’re in the same boat - DC has the stats to get into some highly selective LACs, but I’m unsure if they will be able to handle a high intensity place away from home. Check out the CTCL schools https://ctcl.org/ which have more systems in place to engage students throughout their four years in experiential learning. When we toured a couple of these school, my DC really liked the vibe. Tour some of these schools and see how your DC feels at each. I would rather my DC flourish at a CTCL school than flounder at a highly selective school.

OP here. Thank you both for sharing. My child has anxiety and depression problems; and a deformity (mild, but noticeable). Also not a party type, no to rah rah. I will keep looking, I like Reed and Occidental, and even some Canadian schools, but too far from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC has a lot of anxiety issues (treated but no silver bullet). Anyone know how St. Joseph’s in Philly would be for a child like this? Solid academics but best with a moderate workload and helpful professors.

I think the work load will depend a lot on the major.

I think it would be fine. It is a more relaxed environment than many other institutions. The professors are helpful, and there is a real feeling of community. Plus, if your child needs therapy or psychiatric attention, you’ve got first class healthcare in Philly and the Main Line suburbs - you’re not stuck out in the boonies somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Goucher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP thank you for this thread. I'd love to hear more. I have a DC who is extremely bright and high performing but also has anxiety and ADHD and I'm concerned about their ability to handle going to the kind of schools they are thinking about (more elite LACs) based on academic talent when their emotional state can be pretty fragile. There are many times over the past year I've thought to myself how is this kid going to handle being away at school and the answer is I don't know and it really worries me. I'm also considering having them do a gap year to push off college and have the change to grow/mature a bit more. Not sure what the best answer is.

You are describing my DC exactly. Are there any schools that your DC is considering?

[Anonymous]

I would like at the programs/ major your DC is interested in and see what are the best options there. Some majors have smaller less selective schools that are highly ranked in different fields. Then you could narrow down which ones have stronger student supports by contacting them directly
And inquiring. It is good to look for more nurturing supportive schools for your DC but they need to be able to serve your DC’s academic goals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP thank you for this thread. I'd love to hear more. I have a DC who is extremely bright and high performing but also has anxiety and ADHD and I'm concerned about their ability to handle going to the kind of schools they are thinking about (more elite LACs) based on academic talent when their emotional state can be pretty fragile. There are many times over the past year I've thought to myself how is this kid going to handle being away at school and the answer is I don't know and it really worries me. I'm also considering having them do a gap year to push off college and have the change to grow/mature a bit more. Not sure what the best answer is.

You are describing my DC exactly. Are there any schools that your DC is considering?

Our very bright older DC with ADHD and anxiety did really well at a UC that has a smaller college within for highly motivated students. The health care system was superb and fantastic recreational as well as varsity sports offered. They had an advisory system so students were regularly consulting with mentors. The student health center was good about notifying professors about accommodations.m while student resource center provided extra supports as needed. There were lots of good research opportunities.

You want to make sure your bright child is both challenged academically and emotionally supported.

Some bigger schools are well placed to do this. I wouldn’t assume that only LC s can offer the right supports needed. Sometimes bigger schools have strong systems and resources in place to help students with LDs/ EDs.

I would look at schools that are strong in whatever your DC wants to study and ask them about their supports for students with LDs and EDs. Keep your mind open as your DC will need a range of options (safety, match and reach).