Leaving a man's apartment...is this a red flag, or no?

[Anonymous]

OP, go with your gut.

I was over at the house of the guy I’m dating, and while I drove, he got dressed and walked me to my car at the end of his driveway, and also made sure I texted him when I got home. IMO, it’s the right thing to do, esp in the beginning. I do the same for my girlfriends too.

Better to be overprotective than under.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a deal breaker. If you’re 40 and divorced I hope you know to stay outright to him, “I like it when the man in my life is concerned about me getting home safely, could you show you want to hear from me when I get back to make sure I’m safe?”

OP: I would feel totally fine saying this. I guess my concern is if this doesn't come naturally, or he doesn't actually want to do it- what does that mean.

It means he thinks you're a grown woman of 40+ who can call an Uber from his house and either wait there or in his lobby if you prefer. You're making too much of this, and it makes you sound high maintenance.

--woman

It’s ok to have high standards.

—woman

Np here. I do have high standards for shit that matters.

Safety matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Red flag is that he’s in his 40s and still in an apartment.

Ha! My NYC apartment is gorgeous and worth way more than your shit shack.

Yes but if you had a house in NYC it would be worth more.

That’s actually not true. Many, many apartments in NYC are worth far more than a lot of houses. It’s not like other markets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:women are strong, independent, brave, and stunning! they don't need no man... to walk them to the lobby.

This isn’t about men and women, it’s about looking out for each other late at night. If I were out with my girlfriends, one of them would see me down to the Uber at 12:30 at night too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty cold end of a date. I wouldn't like this at all.
Not to mention it's only the beginning of a relationship, when people are at their best behavior.

That's my reaction too, not so much the "protection factor" but that it was more like a "see ya, bye" end to the evening, unless his goodbye at the door was more intimate. When I visit friends in apts they usually accompany me to the building lobby and we say final goodbye at the door. (This would not apply to a party type gathering, just to a personal visit).

Well, maybe he isn’t really that into OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally would feel offended.

I mean, it seems a little odd that he didn’t want to even exit his apartment in order to be a gentleman.
I say he has bad manners in general & since manners are important to me - this could be a potential dealbreaker in the long run.

If he’s no gentleman, then neither is OP a lady, going to a man’s apartment until late in the evening. Doesn’t she know the meaning of propriety?