The Movie Star and Me - supposedly about Jake Gyllenhaal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why some see him being sleazy. He flirted, she accepted flirtation. She pulled back when it came time for sex and he seemed to respect it. He didn’t force her to please him.

The people around her are the sleazy ones, IMO

People see him as being sleazy because he's sleazy. When he was 30 he dated a 20 year old Taylor Swift. Sleazy.

Is it bad that I don't immediately see the sleaziness in that? I mean a 10 year age difference isn't that huge. 20 is an adult, and she was already a big star by then so not a big power imbalance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why some see him being sleazy. He flirted, she accepted flirtation. She pulled back when it came time for sex and he seemed to respect it. He didn’t force her to please him.

The people around her are the sleazy ones, IMO

People see him as being sleazy because he's sleazy. When he was 30 he dated a 20 year old Taylor Swift. Sleazy.

Is it bad that I don't immediately see the sleaziness in that? I mean a 10 year age difference isn't that huge. 20 is an adult, and she was already a big star by then so not a big power imbalance.

Maybe girls should be taught to evaluate age differences and power imbalances before getting involved someone?

I mean, I can remember sneaking into clubs as a young teen and laughing at “old” men who approached us. But us drinks? Sure! Dance? Maybe. Hook up? As if!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why some see him being sleazy. He flirted, she accepted flirtation. She pulled back when it came time for sex and he seemed to respect it. He didn’t force her to please him.

The people around her are the sleazy ones, IMO

People see him as being sleazy because he's sleazy. When he was 30 he dated a 20 year old Taylor Swift. Sleazy.

Is it bad that I don't immediately see the sleaziness in that? I mean a 10 year age difference isn't that huge. 20 is an adult, and she was already a big star by then so not a big power imbalance.

Agree. Taylor Swift was whiny at 20 and still whiny at 30. JG was sleazy at 30 and still sleazy at 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unreadably bad writing, had to bail - who can summarize?

He was working on a play a few years ago. Young fresh on the scene ingenue is there under a mentor to learn about producing. JG is instantly enamored with her and begins an intense flirtation that basically everyone in the play encourages because he is performing well while playing this cat and mouse game. He proceeds to kind of string her along via text for a few months, only seeking her when she seems to be losing interest in him. His mom and sister treat her with outright contempt at various points. After the show is complete and JG's interest becomes less intense her mentor treats her like a pariah (despite actively encouraging her to play the part of muse in the beginning).

They finally have a sexual encounter and it is fairly aggressive and entirely one sided (he is brought to completion but she is not).

So he strongly pursues, then strings along for months keeping her just teetering on the edge of believing he might actually like her only to get an orga$m and bail entirely. She is not ostracized from her career path AND feeling vaguely dirty.

Nothing at all illegal happened, but just the whole thing feels sleazy.

She sounds petty and immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why some see him being sleazy. He flirted, she accepted flirtation. She pulled back when it came time for sex and he seemed to respect it. He didn’t force her to please him.

The people around her are the sleazy ones, IMO

People see him as being sleazy because he's sleazy. When he was 30 he dated a 20 year old Taylor Swift. Sleazy.

Is it bad that I don't immediately see the sleaziness in that? I mean a 10 year age difference isn't that huge. 20 is an adult, and she was already a big star by then so not a big power imbalance.

It fails the half your age plus seven years rule which I generally find to be a pretty solid guide. I’m 49 which means 32 year old guys would be fair game for me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why some see him being sleazy. He flirted, she accepted flirtation. She pulled back when it came time for sex and he seemed to respect it. He didn’t force her to please him.

The people around her are the sleazy ones, IMO

People see him as being sleazy because he's sleazy. When he was 30 he dated a 20 year old Taylor Swift. Sleazy.

Is it bad that I don't immediately see the sleaziness in that? I mean a 10 year age difference isn't that huge. 20 is an adult, and she was already a big star by then so not a big power imbalance.

Agree. Taylor Swift was whiny at 20 and still whiny at 30. JG was sleazy at 30 and still sleazy at 40.

Taylor Swift is unbearable. I don’t know him.

[Anonymous]

There are some “men”, aka predators, who prey on the young and innocent. These men seem to know how to find them. Inexperienced “girls” fall easily for the romance. IMO, girls are not taught very well how to handle relationships, even poor or aggressive ones. If girls were taught how to handle situations better the metoo movement would not have even come into existence. Speaking of which, do we even hear about metoo anymore?

Since this guy (maybe JG) took over 40 days before trying anything, it sounds like the enjoy the chase or romance more than a relationship.

[Anonymous]

I could not read this. It was awful. She clearly is obsessed and she admitted she had bulimia so it’s obvious she has a problem, and I hope she’s gets therapy for that instead of being manipulated into thinking he abused her.

And yes, he’s gross, but it sounded like he did the right thing in the end. He knew she didn’t want to have sex, and he let her leave.

[Anonymous]

The ages are not the issue to me. It's the workplace power differential. Intern, movie star lead actor. It is not appropriate because there is no way for it not to feel coercive on some level. Sure, she was also flattered and also naive and also attracted to him but unsure. It doesn't matter though because he was in a position here offending or angering him could jeopardize her position. And especially in a situation where she isn't even being paid, this is especially bad because the opportunity is the whole point.

You can judge her personal choices if you want. I did a lot of dumb stuff in my personal life at that age. I just think it's beside the point.

It's an exploitative situation. And everyone in a position of power is culpable here, whether that power stemmed from a formal role in the workplace or, in the case of MG, a combination of fame and proximity to people in formal power.

I have had somewhat similar dynamics happen to me in situations where I wasn't much younger, but was similarly very low on the totem pole in a workplace, trying to prove myself, and being subjected to inappropriate behavior from people in power. It's easy to get confused in that situation and think "Oh, they are being friendly with me because they like me and maybe even respect my work." I know it sounds dumb in hindsight, but in the moment when you are in full eager-to-please mode because you are new or in an apprenticeship role, it's very hard to look at it clearly.

Power is a drug and it doesn't just affect the people with power. It obscures the way everyone interprets a situation and can make it very hard to navigate simple interpersonal dynamics. Which is why people in positions of power should not flirt with, pursue romantically, or sleep with people at work. Full stop. It sounds super limiting and I guess it is, but if you care about consent and not abusing people, you can't bring sex into that equation.

[Anonymous]

this happened five years ago (she is 28 now). I hope she is not still obsessing about him. he as an asshole and the mentor and director are villains. her friends and family are clueless. she didn't find him all that attractive initially (neither do i) but everyone around her egged her on. but, to be honest, few would be able to resist a lead actor pursuit. what made it especially intoxicating was that he was actually willing to wait for sex and kind of romanced her over some period. this wasn't a OTS - which would be easier to get over with.

what worried me about this woman though is that she kept referring to herself as so young, and that she was still a virgin (albeit one giving BJs) at 23. she seems to have some kind of a problem with sex, honestly. not sure why she wasn't ready to have sex with him. judging from her other article it seems like she might still be a virgin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds a little like the Aziz Ansari story. What do these young women think? That these older, rich, famous men are going to be some Prince Charming? No, they are looking for a pretty young thing to pump up their ego and get their jollies. At most, you may get some good stories out of it or some nice dinners. If that’s not what you are looking for, say no and move along. If the mentor pressured her into it, and then froze her out, I think the mentor is the worst one here.

But yes, he’s sleazy she gross. Not super impressed with Maggie who strikes me as not that great an actress and very full of herself. But she should have told this girl “Look, you’re an adult and can make your own decisions but I hope you know my brother is using you and you should tell him to f— off if you’re not using him too.”

but he was constantly joking that they should make babies and called her parents "in-laws". he was willing to wait. it's not about the sex or whatever is that they had - he made her fall in love with him. and on day one, he picked this woman who, while not that young, was very inexperienced and, while no ugly, not very attractive either. he kinda did play the role of prince charming. sure, she should have known better, but how many women of any age would be able to resist? i see no similarity with aziz ansari story. this was, comparatively, going on for much longer and went deeper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds a little like the Aziz Ansari story. What do these young women think? That these older, rich, famous men are going to be some Prince Charming? No, they are looking for a pretty young thing to pump up their ego and get their jollies. At most, you may get some good stories out of it or some nice dinners. If that’s not what you are looking for, say no and move along. If the mentor pressured her into it, and then froze her out, I think the mentor is the worst one here.

But yes, he’s sleazy she gross. Not super impressed with Maggie who strikes me as not that great an actress and very full of herself. But she should have told this girl “Look, you’re an adult and can make your own decisions but I hope you know my brother is using you and you should tell him to f— off if you’re not using him too.”

Your comment is so interesting. Completely exonerates the men while putting the onus on the women. Jake Gyllenhaal is off the hook, but his sister should have interfered to warn a stranger? You have serious problems.

[Anonymous]

He definitely doesn't come over as the most mentally normative, or stable. And his sister comes across as a monumental b word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He definitely doesn't come over as the most mentally normative, or stable. And his sister comes across as a monumental b word.

but why? she wasn't going to be besties with a girl #989873 her brother happened to bring up that evening. i mean, i am not a fan or anything and i can easily see how she could be unpleasant but i see no reason to hate on her for what she did here.

[Anonymous]

Both Gyllenhaals are incredibly overrated in terms of looks and talent.