The Movie Star and Me - supposedly about Jake Gyllenhaal

[Anonymous]

I found her article about losing virginity much more compelling. She made some good points about how it’s been portrayed in media vs. reality (male POV vs. female)

I hope she’s gotten to a place where she can enjoy sex with a partner now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found her article about losing virginity much more compelling. She made some good points about how it’s been portrayed in media vs. reality (male POV vs. female)

I hope she’s gotten to a place where she can enjoy sex with a partner now.

It may be unusual for first-time sex to happen the way it does in movies/TV, but I think her experience was equally unusual. Seemed terrified (and a little bit disgusted by) sex which is highly unusual at age 26, especially if you weren’t raised with religious hangups around sex.

[Anonymous]

She was failed by: her mentor, her mother, and the less naive people around her. The industry that thinks it's okay to treat beautiful young women as disposable muses. The movie star with hangups, insecurity, and maybe narcissism, too wrapped up in himself to fully reconcile that the power dynamic he benefits from hurts real live people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found her article about losing virginity much more compelling. She made some good points about how it’s been portrayed in media vs. reality (male POV vs. female)

I hope she’s gotten to a place where she can enjoy sex with a partner now.

It may be unusual for first-time sex to happen the way it does in movies/TV, but I think her experience was equally unusual. Seemed terrified (and a little bit disgusted by) sex which is highly unusual at age 26, especially if you weren’t raised with religious hangups around sex.

I would say it was even more unusual. It was completely horrific and she didn't stop it because she couldn't tell what was normal and what wasn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The mentor is believed to be Jeanine Tesori.

Reeally… that’s interesting.

[Anonymous]

I was a virgin until I was 30, and now I'm happily married with a child etc. I grew up poor and Catholic and while I went away to college, it was understood that if I got pregnant in college it would be a huge embarrassment for the family. I didn't know enough about birth control to go out and get it, didn't have a lot of free time to do that, didn't really want a super casual sex relationship anyway, etc.

When I finally did have sex at 30 it was SUPER casual for him but felt SUPER serious for me because while most girls worked out those emotions tied to sex in their teens and 20s, I was doing it late. I wasn't a bad person. I just had a lot of emotions.

I relate this to the story here and also a little to the Taylor Swift story in All Too Well. I wondered whether JG was her first real sexual experience also and that's why she couldn't easily dismiss it and kept thinking about it and remembering everything all too well. And also why she didn't really understand the signs of him actually being kind of a jerk. I mean, he is still dating women 10-15 years younger than him -- just proposed to a young model I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds a little like the Aziz Ansari story. What do these young women think? That these older, rich, famous men are going to be some Prince Charming? No, they are looking for a pretty young thing to pump up their ego and get their jollies. At most, you may get some good stories out of it or some nice dinners. If that’s not what you are looking for, say no and move along. If the mentor pressured her into it, and then froze her out, I think the mentor is the worst one here.

But yes, he’s sleazy she gross. Not super impressed with Maggie who strikes me as not that great an actress and very full of herself. But she should have told this girl “Look, you’re an adult and can make your own decisions but I hope you know my brother is using you and you should tell him to f— off if you’re not using him too.”

but he was constantly joking that they should make babies and called her parents "in-laws". he was willing to wait. it's not about the sex or whatever is that they had - he made her fall in love with him. and on day one, he picked this woman who, while not that young, was very inexperienced and, while no ugly, not very attractive either. he kinda did play the role of prince charming. sure, she should have known better, but how many women of any age would be able to resist? i see no similarity with aziz ansari story. this was, comparatively, going on for much longer and went deeper.

This is classic narcissistic love bombing - as is everything about JG’s behavior. The reeling in and giving attention and then pulling back. It’s narcissism, plain and simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds a little like the Aziz Ansari story. What do these young women think? That these older, rich, famous men are going to be some Prince Charming? No, they are looking for a pretty young thing to pump up their ego and get their jollies. At most, you may get some good stories out of it or some nice dinners. If that’s not what you are looking for, say no and move along. If the mentor pressured her into it, and then froze her out, I think the mentor is the worst one here.

But yes, he’s sleazy she gross. Not super impressed with Maggie who strikes me as not that great an actress and very full of herself. But she should have told this girl “Look, you’re an adult and can make your own decisions but I hope you know my brother is using you and you should tell him to f— off if you’re not using him too.”

but he was constantly joking that they should make babies and called her parents "in-laws". he was willing to wait. it's not about the sex or whatever is that they had - he made her fall in love with him. and on day one, he picked this woman who, while not that young, was very inexperienced and, while no ugly, not very attractive either. he kinda did play the role of prince charming. sure, she should have known better, but how many women of any age would be able to resist? i see no similarity with aziz ansari story. this was, comparatively, going on for much longer and went deeper.

This is classic narcissistic love bombing - as is everything about JG’s behavior. The reeling in and giving attention and then pulling back. It’s narcissism, plain and simple.

I had to look that term up
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/10/style/love-bombing.html

Interesting, I have seen this in a friend's relationship. Hard to tell what's genuine new love adoration and what is more manipulative. Or could a narcissist love bomb without intent, just mainly that they are thinking of themselves and not thinking about the other person like more than an object or someone to adore them?

[Anonymous]

I hated how she kept referring to her boss as her "mentor"...this woman was not looking out for her or her career at all. She was your employer--it was all transactional.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Who is the mentor? Gwyneth Paltrow?

Wut? Are you serious?

Yes, earlier in this thread it said she introduced JG to Taylor Swift.

No. And this thread isn’t about TS.
The mentor was a theatre person.

I thought it was? The story is supposed to be TS and JG?

What? No! The author is writing in the first person. Pretty clearly. And if you Google her name you see candid pics of her on the subway with JG (which matches up with her account).

Ok, I totally got this wrong. Who is the author? I thought it was TS.

what the heck? Why was anyone thinking this was TS??????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hated how she kept referring to her boss as her "mentor"...this woman was not looking out for her or her career at all. She was your employer--it was all transactional.

You are incorrect. In the arts young people absolutely look for mentors.
It’s so much more personal than a 9-5 office relationship.

[Anonymous]

Also very likely she wasn’t even being paid by JT.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Who is the mentor? Gwyneth Paltrow?

Wut? Are you serious?

Yes, earlier in this thread it said she introduced JG to Taylor Swift.

No. And this thread isn’t about TS.
The mentor was a theatre person.

I thought it was? The story is supposed to be TS and JG?

What? No! The author is writing in the first person. Pretty clearly. And if you Google her name you see candid pics of her on the subway with JG (which matches up with her account).

Ok, I totally got this wrong. Who is the author? I thought it was TS.

what the heck? Why was anyone thinking this was TS??????

Because I associate TS with JG and he took her virginity.

[Anonymous]

I’m very confused because I thought JG was gay (and his young girlfriends were beards). Tons of “blind gossip” abou t him.

[Anonymous]

If anyone has ever known someone that is a serial dater, you are pleasant to their person but know you won't see them tomorrow. Maybe even annoyed that they bring side pieces to dinner because why bother? It isn't your place to tell that person either.