The Movie Star and Me - supposedly about Jake Gyllenhaal

[Anonymous]

Agree. People need to take responsibility for their own actions once they are adults. Sure, he was a little sleazy. But if you are going to write an article complaining that you are not brought to completion, then you are a little sleazy too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree. People need to take responsibility for their own actions once they are adults. Sure, he was a little sleazy. But if you are going to write an article complaining that you are not brought to completion, then you are a little sleazy too.

If you take that as her main complaint than you are being extraordinarily reductive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she cleverly throws around a bunch of ages - she started with the mentor when she was 19, but at the time of the story she was 23.

Which is still really young. But still. Own your sexuality and your power.

You can see that she made poor decisions and has culpability and ALSO that he comes across VERY slimy. Which is where I land on it FWIW.

It’s not that young. I got married when I was 24.

Women (and she is a woman, not a girl) need to keep their heads on straight in the world, like it or not.

Of course he’s a sleazeball, he’s famous and just gives off those vibes. Look, that kind of behavior can be fun for a fling (been there) but losing your head and getting attached is stupid.

I blame the giddy mom a bit, I would have warned my kid to be careful. Also, they are absolutely industry-connected…what kind of parent doesn’t ask around and figure out he is like this? Easy enough to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she cleverly throws around a bunch of ages - she started with the mentor when she was 19, but at the time of the story she was 23.

Which is still really young. But still. Own your sexuality and your power.

You can see that she made poor decisions and has culpability and ALSO that he comes across VERY slimy. Which is where I land on it FWIW.

Agreed. I think a sleaze will always be a sleaze and most women take a while to figure out which types to avoid, but it's depressing that none of the women in her life cautioned her that he is a type and it's not a good type. Plan to flirt, have fun, and move along, because that's what he's going to do.

[Anonymous]

So I feel like this is kind of disturbing to me (the reactions in this thread). It seems like we almost all agree on these two things:

1) She was old enough to have some responsibility/culpability
2) He is a sleezeball

But our reaction is to scoff at her complaint (of COURSE he's a sleezeball why was she such a moron?) instead of feeling like it is changing our perception of him.

This guy is a famous sex symbol who gets fawned over wherever he goes but has a known reputation to collecting young naïve girls and playing with them and tossing them aside. And when one speaks up to say, 'you know, I think the way that guy behaves is pretty jerky and it made me feel incredibly crappy' we get upset with her for saying it at all.

I imagine she spoke up so maybe the next girl he's with googles him and sees this and thinks twice before allowing herself to become 'the next one'. Not to get him fired and certainly not for a criminal prosecution. Just a really fascinating dynamic here in the comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she cleverly throws around a bunch of ages - she started with the mentor when she was 19, but at the time of the story she was 23.

Which is still really young. But still. Own your sexuality and your power.

You can see that she made poor decisions and has culpability and ALSO that he comes across VERY slimy. Which is where I land on it FWIW.

Agreed. I think a sleaze will always be a sleaze and most women take a while to figure out which types to avoid, but it's depressing that none of the women in her life cautioned her that he is a type and it's not a good type. Plan to flirt, have fun, and move along, because that's what he's going to do.

I do think the mentor and director tried to do that but were obviously too subtle. They did hint to keep it in perspective/light, but this one needed more than a hint apparently. At 23 you wouldn’t really expect to have to be blunt, though…most people have at least some relationship experience at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I feel like this is kind of disturbing to me (the reactions in this thread). It seems like we almost all agree on these two things:

1) She was old enough to have some responsibility/culpability
2) He is a sleezeball

But our reaction is to scoff at her complaint (of COURSE he's a sleezeball why was she such a moron?) instead of feeling like it is changing our perception of him.

This guy is a famous sex symbol who gets fawned over wherever he goes but has a known reputation to collecting young naïve girls and playing with them and tossing them aside. And when one speaks up to say, 'you know, I think the way that guy behaves is pretty jerky and it made me feel incredibly crappy' we get upset with her for saying it at all.

I imagine she spoke up so maybe the next girl he's with googles him and sees this and thinks twice before allowing herself to become 'the next one'. Not to get him fired and certainly not for a criminal prosecution. Just a really fascinating dynamic here in the comments.

Oh, I definitely think the author is doing interns everywhere a PSA. It’s a true “I was a moron so you don’t have to be” piece, and I applaud her for that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she cleverly throws around a bunch of ages - she started with the mentor when she was 19, but at the time of the story she was 23.

Which is still really young. But still. Own your sexuality and your power.

You can see that she made poor decisions and has culpability and ALSO that he comes across VERY slimy. Which is where I land on it FWIW.

Agreed. I think a sleaze will always be a sleaze and most women take a while to figure out which types to avoid, but it's depressing that none of the women in her life cautioned her that he is a type and it's not a good type. Plan to flirt, have fun, and move along, because that's what he's going to do.

I do think the mentor and director tried to do that but were obviously too subtle. They did hint to keep it in perspective/light, but this one needed more than a hint apparently. At 23 you wouldn’t really expect to have to be blunt, though…most people have at least some relationship experience at that age.

OK, but saying “don’t get attached” while pushing them together is basically just offering her up as a toy for him to play with during production. That’s gross.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how women get to this age and are this naive.

But sure, he's a total jerk. I also don't even find him that attractive or think of him as some big movie star.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she cleverly throws around a bunch of ages - she started with the mentor when she was 19, but at the time of the story she was 23.

Which is still really young. But still. Own your sexuality and your power.

You can see that she made poor decisions and has culpability and ALSO that he comes across VERY slimy. Which is where I land on it FWIW.

It’s not that young. I got married when I was 24.

Women (and she is a woman, not a girl) need to keep their heads on straight in the world, like it or not.

Of course he’s a sleazeball, he’s famous and just gives off those vibes. Look, that kind of behavior can be fun for a fling (been there) but losing your head and getting attached is stupid.

I blame the giddy mom a bit, I would have warned my kid to be careful. Also, they are absolutely industry-connected…what kind of parent doesn’t ask around and figure out he is like this? Easy enough to do.

I do too. Sometimes you need to experience these things to know how to recognize red flags, so I get that for an inexperienced 23 year old. But the mom should have known better and instead was egging her on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it's really bad.

I feel sad for this woman she apparently had absolutely no one to speak to in her life that could give her any reasonable advice and that she was so unsure of herself.

It also reminded me of the Matt Lauer stories.

We need to raise our daughters with conversations about how to handle these situations. Not pretend like guys and situations like this don't exist. Which sucks.

Its goes beyond that, we have to also teach our daughters not to egg this on when it benefits us socially or professionally. I have seen many women benefit from egging on a female friend/co worker to hook up with a guy because they get some social or professional boost. You have to ask yourself why there are not only pimps but Madams too. I can see some dynamics of this even play out in my kids middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she cleverly throws around a bunch of ages - she started with the mentor when she was 19, but at the time of the story she was 23.

Which is still really young. But still. Own your sexuality and your power.

You can see that she made poor decisions and has culpability and ALSO that he comes across VERY slimy. Which is where I land on it FWIW.

Agreed. I think a sleaze will always be a sleaze and most women take a while to figure out which types to avoid, but it's depressing that none of the women in her life cautioned her that he is a type and it's not a good type. Plan to flirt, have fun, and move along, because that's what he's going to do.

I do think the mentor and director tried to do that but were obviously too subtle. They did hint to keep it in perspective/light, but this one needed more than a hint apparently. At 23 you wouldn’t really expect to have to be blunt, though…most people have at least some relationship experience at that age.

OK, but saying “don’t get attached” while pushing them together is basically just offering her up as a toy for him to play with during production. That’s gross.

Flirting is different than having sex. They were egging her on to have a fun flirt, but not more. She chose more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she cleverly throws around a bunch of ages - she started with the mentor when she was 19, but at the time of the story she was 23.

Which is still really young. But still. Own your sexuality and your power.

You can see that she made poor decisions and has culpability and ALSO that he comes across VERY slimy. Which is where I land on it FWIW.

Agreed. I think a sleaze will always be a sleaze and most women take a while to figure out which types to avoid, but it's depressing that none of the women in her life cautioned her that he is a type and it's not a good type. Plan to flirt, have fun, and move along, because that's what he's going to do.

I do think the mentor and director tried to do that but were obviously too subtle. They did hint to keep it in perspective/light, but this one needed more than a hint apparently. At 23 you wouldn’t really expect to have to be blunt, though…most people have at least some relationship experience at that age.

He does seem sleazy, but she does seem incredibly naiive even for a 23 yo. She said on DAY 3, the president told her this:

"The president had me stop by her office, Go for it! I would if I were you. There was a framed picture of the two of them on her desk staring back at me. Have fun. But don’t get too attached. Apparently, the movie star had a bit of a reputation, which was news to me."

How can you claim you didn't know after that?

My view is that she thought she was going to be different from all those other interns he dallied with and then dropped and now she's pissed and this is payback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she cleverly throws around a bunch of ages - she started with the mentor when she was 19, but at the time of the story she was 23.

Which is still really young. But still. Own your sexuality and your power.

You can see that she made poor decisions and has culpability and ALSO that he comes across VERY slimy. Which is where I land on it FWIW.

Agreed. I think a sleaze will always be a sleaze and most women take a while to figure out which types to avoid, but it's depressing that none of the women in her life cautioned her that he is a type and it's not a good type. Plan to flirt, have fun, and move along, because that's what he's going to do.

I do think the mentor and director tried to do that but were obviously too subtle. They did hint to keep it in perspective/light, but this one needed more than a hint apparently. At 23 you wouldn’t really expect to have to be blunt, though…most people have at least some relationship experience at that age.

He does seem sleazy, but she does seem incredibly naiive even for a 23 yo. She said on DAY 3, the president told her this:

"The president had me stop by her office, Go for it! I would if I were you. There was a framed picture of the two of them on her desk staring back at me. Have fun. But don’t get too attached. Apparently, the movie star had a bit of a reputation, which was news to me."

How can you claim you didn't know after that?

My view is that she thought she was going to be different from all those other interns he dallied with and then dropped and now she's pissed and this is payback.

Exactly. This. She was straight up TOLD he was sleazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she cleverly throws around a bunch of ages - she started with the mentor when she was 19, but at the time of the story she was 23.

Which is still really young. But still. Own your sexuality and your power.

You can see that she made poor decisions and has culpability and ALSO that he comes across VERY slimy. Which is where I land on it FWIW.

Agreed. I think a sleaze will always be a sleaze and most women take a while to figure out which types to avoid, but it's depressing that none of the women in her life cautioned her that he is a type and it's not a good type. Plan to flirt, have fun, and move along, because that's what he's going to do.

I do think the mentor and director tried to do that but were obviously too subtle. They did hint to keep it in perspective/light, but this one needed more than a hint apparently. At 23 you wouldn’t really expect to have to be blunt, though…most people have at least some relationship experience at that age.

OK, but saying “don’t get attached” while pushing them together is basically just offering her up as a toy for him to play with during production. That’s gross.

Flirting is different than having sex. They were egging her on to have a fun flirt, but not more. She chose more.

Now this right here is naive if you think they threw a virgin at a famous actor with his reputation to just flirt.