DS Freaking Out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a "Big 3" - this is beyond pathetic on your part. I don't blame your son because you raised him to be this way. Get it together lady.

+1

OP is blind to their privilege and so is the kid.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes on this board people forget there are actual kids involved, not props.

The kid worked hard at a Big 3 to get good grades and good standardized test scores. He didn’t expected to be handed anything in school, it says he worked for it. All the disdain here for privates and privilege bury that fact.


Give the kid a break. The OP didn’t say the kid expected to get to be a shoe-in.

[Anonymous]

Just for some perspective, when ds met with his counselor to discuss college applications, he was given an appointment with 3 other students. 4 students met with the counselor simultaneously to discuss the application process. He then had to send the counselor a form listing the schools he intended to apply to. He did not receive any feedback.
Kids at big public schools get very little help from their counselors who have hundreds of students to look after.
Your child will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Fwiw DC at private says half the class uses outside help and it’s tacitly understood that no one talks about it, even among friends. In our experience, parent friends don’t like admit it to each other either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes on this board people forget there are actual kids involved, not props.

The kid worked hard at a Big 3 to get good grades and good standardized test scores. He didn’t expected to be handed anything in school, it says he worked for it. All the disdain here for privates and privilege bury that fact.


Give the kid a break. The OP didn’t say the kid expected to get to be a shoe-in.

It’s shoo-in, not shoe-in OMG.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fwiw DC at private says half the class uses outside help and it’s tacitly understood that no one talks about it, even among friends. In our experience, parent friends don’t like admit it to each other either.

+1 No one discusses outside counselors at my DC’s Big3, kids or adults. I would guess 80% use them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and there may be some truth to DS feeling like he had the slight edge with higher grades and SAT and he felt like that had slipped away. We talked about that some and he said the friend asked him about his grades and test scores and he shared, so he “had all the information on the table.”

I pointed out how the friend didn’t have to tell him, especially because the parents asked him not to and maybe the friend wanted to tell him all along.

He seems calmer now.

As for applying to the same schools, many of the kids from their school did. The difference in their lists were in safety schools.

He’s processing it all and have been talking to his friend on discord, he said.

I am the PP who suggested that he may have tacitly felt he had the edge. Thanks for taking that in a helpful spirit. Sounds like you are doing a great job talking him through it all. I'm sure he'll have something good in the end and save the friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes on this board people forget there are actual kids involved, not props.

The kid worked hard at a Big 3 to get good grades and good standardized test scores. He didn’t expected to be handed anything in school, it says he worked for it. All the disdain here for privates and privilege bury that fact.


Give the kid a break. The OP didn’t say the kid expected to get to be a shoe-in.

It’s shoo-in, not shoe-in OMG.

DP. Not everyone is into horse racing and it is a stupid expression anyways. I like shoe-in better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes on this board people forget there are actual kids involved, not props.

The kid worked hard at a Big 3 to get good grades and good standardized test scores. He didn’t expected to be handed anything in school, it says he worked for it. All the disdain here for privates and privilege bury that fact.


Give the kid a break. The OP didn’t say the kid expected to get to be a shoe-in.

It’s shoo-in, not shoe-in OMG.

DP. Not everyone is into horse racing and it is a stupid expression anyways. I like shoe-in better

It is a stupid expression anyway. No extra s. JFC.

[Anonymous]

Also pathetic - getting a call from one mommy to another mommy apologizing for bratty kid’s behavior.
They are seniors in high school. Hope they can hit the rest room on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fwiw DC at private says half the class uses outside help and it’s tacitly understood that no one talks about it, even among friends. In our experience, parent friends don’t like admit it to each other either.

+1 No one discusses outside counselors at my DC’s Big3, kids or adults. I would guess 80% use them.

The people attracted to such environments are SO not my people.

My kid turned down a generous merit add offer to the top-ranked school she got into because on Accepted Student Day, the place was crawling with prep school kids (many of them dressed in Ralph Lauren or Lilly Pulitzer). We thought we had stumbled into a remake of the Great Gatsby, coming of age edition!

[Anonymous]

Kids at our Big 3 wear sweats and jeans. Not sure which private schools kids are dressing in Ralph Lauren. Maybe those using the Hot Tub Time Machine and popping in from the 80s.

Anyway(s), sounds like your DD was a shoo-in. But seriously, what a great offer. Sounds like she knows herself and what she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also pathetic - getting a call from one mommy to another mommy apologizing for bratty kid’s behavior.
They are seniors in high school. Hope they can hit the rest room on their own.

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fwiw DC at private says half the class uses outside help and it’s tacitly understood that no one talks about it, even among friends. In our experience, parent friends don’t like admit it to each other either.

+1 No one discusses outside counselors at my DC’s Big3, kids or adults. I would guess 80% use them.

The people attracted to such environments are SO not my people.

My kid turned down a generous merit add offer to the top-ranked school she got into because on Accepted Student Day, the place was crawling with prep school kids (many of them dressed in Ralph Lauren or Lilly Pulitzer). We thought we had stumbled into a remake of the Great Gatsby, coming of age edition!

Judging people based on what they are wearing is not open minded. I say this as a decidedly non-Lily Pulitzer wearing parent. Entitled attitudes exist everywhere, public schools in wealthy zip codes are not much different than those in expensive privates. That your daughter turned down highly coveted merit aid because she didn’t like what the other kids were wearing is pretty entitled - most people don’t have the luxury of discarding opportunities like that so easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fwiw DC at private says half the class uses outside help and it’s tacitly understood that no one talks about it, even among friends. In our experience, parent friends don’t like admit it to each other either.

+1 No one discusses outside counselors at my DC’s Big3, kids or adults. I would guess 80% use them.

The people attracted to such environments are SO not my people.

My kid turned down a generous merit add offer to the top-ranked school she got into because on Accepted Student Day, the place was crawling with prep school kids (many of them dressed in Ralph Lauren or Lilly Pulitzer). We thought we had stumbled into a remake of the Great Gatsby, coming of age edition!

Judging people based on what they are wearing is not open minded. I say this as a decidedly non-Lily Pulitzer wearing parent. Entitled attitudes exist everywhere, public schools in wealthy zip codes are not much different than those in expensive privates. That your daughter turned down highly coveted merit aid because she didn’t like what the other kids were wearing is pretty entitled - most people don’t have the luxury of discarding opportunities like that so easily.

+1 Preach