DS Freaking Out

[Anonymous]

DS found out his best friend used an extremely expensive, exclusive college counselor. The kids both go to the same Big 3 but my kid used the counselors at school only. DS has gotten better grades and a better SAT score but they applied to a lot of the same schools. His friend told him his dad and the outside counselor have all these high up connections.

The mom emailed and apologized about her kid bragging to mine. He wasn’t supposed to say anything to anyone. This leads me to believe that what he said was probably true.

This is the world and sooner or later my kid is going to find out that money and connections help. But do they help so soon after the varsity blues scandal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS found out his best friend used an extremely expensive, exclusive college counselor. The kids both go to the same Big 3 but my kid used the counselors at school only. DS has gotten better grades and a better SAT score but they applied to a lot of the same schools. His friend told him his dad and the outside counselor have all these high up connections.

The mom emailed and apologized about her kid bragging to mine. He wasn’t supposed to say anything to anyone. This leads me to believe that what he said was probably true.

This is the world and sooner or later my kid is going to find out that money and connections help. But do they help so soon after the varsity blues scandal?

Your kid goes to a big 3, money and connections will work in his favor more than again him.

[Anonymous]

Whats big 3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS found out his best friend used an extremely expensive, exclusive college counselor. The kids both go to the same Big 3 but my kid used the counselors at school only. DS has gotten better grades and a better SAT score but they applied to a lot of the same schools. His friend told him his dad and the outside counselor have all these high up connections.

The mom emailed and apologized about her kid bragging to mine. He wasn’t supposed to say anything to anyone. This leads me to believe that what he said was probably true.

This is the world and sooner or later my kid is going to find out that money and connections help. But do they help so soon after the varsity blues scandal?

Your kid goes to a big 3, money and connections will work in his favor more than again him.

Correct. Perspective is needed. This kid may be starting on third base but your kid is on second.
(I'm a fellow Big3 parent).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS found out his best friend used an extremely expensive, exclusive college counselor. The kids both go to the same Big 3 but my kid used the counselors at school only. DS has gotten better grades and a better SAT score but they applied to a lot of the same schools. His friend told him his dad and the outside counselor have all these high up connections.

The mom emailed and apologized about her kid bragging to mine. He wasn’t supposed to say anything to anyone. This leads me to believe that what he said was probably true.

This is the world and sooner or later my kid is going to find out that money and connections help. But do they help so soon after the varsity blues scandal?

Was the college counselor Rick Singer?

[Anonymous]

I can't believe your son is a senior and doesn't have necessary critical thinking skills enough to see the perspective that some people will have more advantages than he does just like he'll have more advantages than some other people. I'm sure your son will get in somewhere. His attitude is what will determine whether or not he thrives and is successful there.

[Anonymous]

Explain to your son what college counseling looks like for his friends attending public schools.

[Anonymous]

An outside counselor is not going to have sway with admissions offices across the country. That isn't what they do.

They help shape a list and they can help with essays, if the kid is too bane to be able to hack it on their own.

The schools counselors are fine for 95% of what needs to be done. Your kid should not be freaking out. The should be proud they handled the process on their own and didn't need outside handholding and maintenance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS found out his best friend used an extremely expensive, exclusive college counselor. The kids both go to the same Big 3 but my kid used the counselors at school only. DS has gotten better grades and a better SAT score but they applied to a lot of the same schools. His friend told him his dad and the outside counselor have all these high up connections.

The mom emailed and apologized about her kid bragging to mine. He wasn’t supposed to say anything to anyone. This leads me to believe that what he said was probably true.

This is the world and sooner or later my kid is going to find out that money and connections help. But do they help so soon after the varsity blues scandal?

So...neither your DS nor his friend applied ED? That seems a highly implausible strategy for "an extremely expensive, exclusive college counselor" (as well as a Big 3 college office strategy especially for a family with "high up connections.").

Our DCs attend(ed) a Big 3-type of school in another metro area. They did not use "an extremely expensive, exclusive college counselor" but did avail themselves of their counselors at school. Many of their classmates used "extremely expensive, exclusive college(s)." In this latest round, DC2 got in ED and a number of DC's classmates using outside help were either deferred or rejected. And a number of these families have "high up connections."

As per your report here, the family did nothing wrong. Families are allowed to hire consultants and people are not prohibited from calling connections.

So again, neither your DS nor his friend applied ED?

[Anonymous]

This is not something to freak out about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Explain to your son what college counseling looks like for his friends attending public schools.

Right? My son went to public school and his guidance counselor tried to tell him to apply only to Rutgers "although you probably won't get in." My son told her, "I hate New Jersey." She just shrugged and ushered him out of her office. That was the extent of his college counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Explain to your son what college counseling looks like for his friends attending public schools.

Right? My son went to public school and his guidance counselor tried to tell him to apply only to Rutgers "although you probably won't get in." My son told her, "I hate New Jersey." She just shrugged and ushered him out of her office. That was the extent of his college counseling.

OMG! My college counselor explained that I really should be paying more attention to local secretarial certificate opportunities even though I had all As in top track college classes, a couple of language awards, etc. It was totally profiling me based on her having my older brother, who had been enrolled in voc-ed and was enrolled in a 2 year AA degree.

PP, what happened with your DS? The "I hate New Jersey" quip deserves an SNL skit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe your son is a senior and doesn't have necessary critical thinking skills enough to see the perspective that some people will have more advantages than he does just like he'll have more advantages than some other people. I'm sure your son will get in somewhere. His attitude is what will determine whether or not he thrives and is successful there.

A big part of the issue as OP described it is that it his is best friend, and he is just learning about it.

It seems like most of the people on this message board either forgot, or pretend not to remember, what it is actually like to be a teenager.

[Anonymous]

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel good when other people have things you wish you could have.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whats big 3

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/99579.page