Why are people so weirdly mean and competitive on this forum in particular ?

[Anonymous]

Where a kid goes to college is social capitol for a parent. Its why parents are willing to spend thousands on counseling, tutoring, and test prep. A dad in Bethesda knows his smart son will be successful at UMD, but he won't be able to brag about that to his friends so he becomes over invested in the college admissions process. On the flip side, this creates this weird insecurity among parents when it comes to their kid's grades and admissions prospects. So, they come to pages like this to rant and attack each other. I saw this dynamic first hand as a high school senior at a wealthier, competitive high school. If i had to guess, half of the posts here are just insecure parents making up stories about how their 1590 sat kid is going to Yale, etc. It is embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where a kid goes to college is social capitol for a parent. Its why parents are willing to spend thousands on counseling, tutoring, and test prep. A dad in Bethesda knows his smart son will be successful at UMD, but he won't be able to brag about that to his friends so he becomes over invested in the college admissions process. On the flip side, this creates this weird insecurity among parents when it comes to their kid's grades and admissions prospects. So, they come to pages like this to rant and attack each other. I saw this dynamic first hand as a high school senior at a wealthier, competitive high school. If i had to guess, half of the posts here are just insecure parents making up stories about how their 1590 sat kid is going to Yale, etc. It is embarrassing.

Where a kid goes to college really isn’t social capital for the parents (my friend’s housekeeper has one son at University of Pennsylvania and the other at Yale). I doubt her life or social circle changed at all. However where the parents went to school still is. And that’s what parents want for their kids. No crime in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where a kid goes to college is social capitol for a parent. Its why parents are willing to spend thousands on counseling, tutoring, and test prep. A dad in Bethesda knows his smart son will be successful at UMD, but he won't be able to brag about that to his friends so he becomes over invested in the college admissions process. On the flip side, this creates this weird insecurity among parents when it comes to their kid's grades and admissions prospects. So, they come to pages like this to rant and attack each other. I saw this dynamic first hand as a high school senior at a wealthier, competitive high school. If i had to guess, half of the posts here are just insecure parents making up stories about how their 1590 sat kid is going to Yale, etc. It is embarrassing.

Where a kid goes to college really isn’t social capital for the parents (my friend’s housekeeper has one son at University of Pennsylvania and the other at Yale). I doubt her life or social circle changed at all. However where the parents went to school still is. And that’s what parents want for their kids. No crime in that.

DP. In UMC areas like the DMV, it certainly is social capital for the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where a kid goes to college is social capitol for a parent. Its why parents are willing to spend thousands on counseling, tutoring, and test prep. A dad in Bethesda knows his smart son will be successful at UMD, but he won't be able to brag about that to his friends so he becomes over invested in the college admissions process. On the flip side, this creates this weird insecurity among parents when it comes to their kid's grades and admissions prospects. So, they come to pages like this to rant and attack each other. I saw this dynamic first hand as a high school senior at a wealthier, competitive high school. If i had to guess, half of the posts here are just insecure parents making up stories about how their 1590 sat kid is going to Yale, etc. It is embarrassing.

Where a kid goes to college really isn’t social capital for the parents (my friend’s housekeeper has one son at University of Pennsylvania and the other at Yale). I doubt her life or social circle changed at all. However where the parents went to school still is. And that’s what parents want for their kids. No crime in that.

I tend to disagree. Your friends housekeeper got a boost by likely being an URM, and people tend to know that and be more accepting of that fact, when it happens, since so many slots are reserved for URMs.

My friends whose DC were admitted to T20 have people who they barely know, who barely acknowledged them over the years approach them and aggressively ask how they did it. They were at the top of their class, and their parents (my friends) are amongst - if not THE - smartest people I know! Of course their children do well with zero boosts.

I think some people just happen to think they are better than other people. My friends are not like that, so they were surprised when so many randoms approached them about the topic.

That, and people are extremely insecure, OP.

[Anonymous]

When a close relative got into Yale Law, literally hordes of people came out of the woodwork to congratulate her, ask her how she did it, asking to reconnect, etc. Old teachers, acquaintances, friends, people in high-up positions she barely even knew. Entrance into the elite circle definitely opens doors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a close relative got into Yale Law, literally hordes of people came out of the woodwork to congratulate her, ask her how she did it, asking to reconnect, etc. Old teachers, acquaintances, friends, people in high-up positions she barely even knew. Entrance into the elite circle definitely opens doors.

+1

Yup. People think only legacies get in, or you have to play the "Varsity Blues" game - which many parents in affluent areas are not against doing, at all. Some students do actually get in on their own merits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where a kid goes to college is social capitol for a parent. Its why parents are willing to spend thousands on counseling, tutoring, and test prep. A dad in Bethesda knows his smart son will be successful at UMD, but he won't be able to brag about that to his friends so he becomes over invested in the college admissions process. On the flip side, this creates this weird insecurity among parents when it comes to their kid's grades and admissions prospects. So, they come to pages like this to rant and attack each other. I saw this dynamic first hand as a high school senior at a wealthier, competitive high school. If i had to guess, half of the posts here are just insecure parents making up stories about how their 1590 sat kid is going to Yale, etc. It is embarrassing.

Where a kid goes to college really isn’t social capital for the parents (my friend’s housekeeper has one son at University of Pennsylvania and the other at Yale). I doubt her life or social circle changed at all. However where the parents went to school still is. And that’s what parents want for their kids. No crime in that.

I tend to disagree. Your friends housekeeper got a boost by likely being an URM, and people tend to know that and be more accepting of that fact, when it happens, since so many slots are reserved for URMs.

My friends whose DC were admitted to T20 have people who they barely know, who barely acknowledged them over the years approach them and aggressively ask how they did it. They were at the top of their class, and their parents (my friends) are amongst - if not THE - smartest people I know! Of course their children do well with zero boosts.

I think some people just happen to think they are better than other people. My friends are not like that, so they were surprised when so many randoms approached them about the topic.

That, and people are extremely insecure, OP.

No, my friend’s housekeeper is a white American.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where a kid goes to college is social capitol for a parent. Its why parents are willing to spend thousands on counseling, tutoring, and test prep. A dad in Bethesda knows his smart son will be successful at UMD, but he won't be able to brag about that to his friends so he becomes over invested in the college admissions process. On the flip side, this creates this weird insecurity among parents when it comes to their kid's grades and admissions prospects. So, they come to pages like this to rant and attack each other. I saw this dynamic first hand as a high school senior at a wealthier, competitive high school. If i had to guess, half of the posts here are just insecure parents making up stories about how their 1590 sat kid is going to Yale, etc. It is embarrassing.

Where a kid goes to college really isn’t social capital for the parents (my friend’s housekeeper has one son at University of Pennsylvania and the other at Yale). I doubt her life or social circle changed at all. However where the parents went to school still is. And that’s what parents want for their kids. No crime in that.

I tend to disagree. Your friends housekeeper got a boost by likely being an URM, and people tend to know that and be more accepting of that fact, when it happens, since so many slots are reserved for URMs.

My friends whose DC were admitted to T20 have people who they barely know, who barely acknowledged them over the years approach them and aggressively ask how they did it. They were at the top of their class, and their parents (my friends) are amongst - if not THE - smartest people I know! Of course their children do well with zero boosts.

I think some people just happen to think they are better than other people. My friends are not like that, so they were surprised when so many randoms approached them about the topic.

That, and people are extremely insecure, OP.

No, my friend’s housekeeper is a white American.

Well, and just a guess here - but if the kid is first in their family to go to college...... Or are you going to tell me that the housekeeper has a PhD?

[Anonymous]

People here have big egos and even the thought that their kids are not the best hurts, so they tend to blame external factors: too many applicants from DMV, not the right race, not the right socio-economic background etc. People also have weird hang-ups about or are not used to rejection or loss in a competition, as most of the posters here don't seem athletic. Nobody here has an average child. Some of them went to Podunk U and they hoped that a more competitive college would open the door to better job prospects and social mobility for their kids, so the hope is now gone. Some applied and got rejected 20 years ago and suffer rejection again. I went to a much hated college here on DCUM and when I read a thread about a poll of college admission and attendance of various posters, I was surprised to find out that a lot of them were rejected from my college in the 80s and 90s. Ultimately, the kids who got admitted took their child's opportunity, so they feel anger as a reaction to the frustration, feeling like a failure, embarrassment. In FFX county, it starts early, with the AAP admission. I remember when my coworker's child applied and he was rejected; his dad told me that it's actually better because all the AAP kids are weirdos on the spectrum. He was talking about 3rd graders / 8 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a close relative got into Yale Law, literally hordes of people came out of the woodwork to congratulate her, ask her how she did it, asking to reconnect, etc. Old teachers, acquaintances, friends, people in high-up positions she barely even knew. Entrance into the elite circle definitely opens doors.

This is really weird and says more about your relatives’s community than anything else. Did she grow up in Appalachia or something? Getting into Yale Law is quite an accomplishment, of course, but if I spent my time “re-connecting” with folks who pulled off that and similar academic feats I’d be pretty damned busy. It’s not that rare, man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been on other anonymous college forums and people are pretty cruel on here by comparison

How do people find the energy to write paragraphs of hate towards fairly unremarkable schools?

and schools they've never considered attending or applying to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When a close relative got into Yale Law, literally hordes of people came out of the woodwork to congratulate her, ask her how she did it, asking to reconnect, etc. Old teachers, acquaintances, friends, people in high-up positions she barely even knew. Entrance into the elite circle definitely opens doors.

This is really weird and says more about your relatives’s community than anything else. Did she grow up in Appalachia or something? Getting into Yale Law is quite an accomplishment, of course, but if I spent my time “re-connecting” with folks who pulled off that and similar academic feats I’d be pretty damned busy. It’s not that rare, man.

No, it says more about the fact that admission into an elite university does mean something. The PP's above are trying to claim that it doesn't. If you're already a part of the privileged class, of course it won't mean as much. Doesn't mean that everyone who isn't as privileged as you is from Appalachia, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People here have big egos and even the thought that their kids are not the best hurts, so they tend to blame external factors: too many applicants from DMV, not the right race, not the right socio-economic background etc. People also have weird hang-ups about or are not used to rejection or loss in a competition, as most of the posters here don't seem athletic. Nobody here has an average child. Some of them went to Podunk U and they hoped that a more competitive college would open the door to better job prospects and social mobility for their kids, so the hope is now gone. Some applied and got rejected 20 years ago and suffer rejection again. I went to a much hated college here on DCUM and when I read a thread about a poll of college admission and attendance of various posters, I was surprised to find out that a lot of them were rejected from my college in the 80s and 90s. Ultimately, the kids who got admitted took their child's opportunity, so they feel anger as a reaction to the frustration, feeling like a failure, embarrassment. In FFX county, it starts early, with the AAP admission. I remember when my coworker's child applied and he was rejected; his dad told me that it's actually better because all the AAP kids are weirdos on the spectrum. He was talking about 3rd graders / 8 years old.

+1

Nice summary!

[Anonymous]

The people obsessed with acceptance rates annoy me

"School A has a slightly lower acceptance rate so it is superior to school B (which enrolls noticeably higher performing students)"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where a kid goes to college is social capitol for a parent. Its why parents are willing to spend thousands on counseling, tutoring, and test prep. A dad in Bethesda knows his smart son will be successful at UMD, but he won't be able to brag about that to his friends so he becomes over invested in the college admissions process. On the flip side, this creates this weird insecurity among parents when it comes to their kid's grades and admissions prospects. So, they come to pages like this to rant and attack each other. I saw this dynamic first hand as a high school senior at a wealthier, competitive high school. If i had to guess, half of the posts here are just insecure parents making up stories about how their 1590 sat kid is going to Yale, etc. It is embarrassing.

Where a kid goes to college really isn’t social capital for the parents (my friend’s housekeeper has one son at University of Pennsylvania and the other at Yale). I doubt her life or social circle changed at all. However where the parents went to school still is. And that’s what parents want for their kids. No crime in that.

I tend to disagree. Your friends housekeeper got a boost by likely being an URM, and people tend to know that and be more accepting of that fact, when it happens, since so many slots are reserved for URMs.

My friends whose DC were admitted to T20 have people who they barely know, who barely acknowledged them over the years approach them and aggressively ask how they did it. They were at the top of their class, and their parents (my friends) are amongst - if not THE - smartest people I know! Of course their children do well with zero boosts.

I think some people just happen to think they are better than other people. My friends are not like that, so they were surprised when so many randoms approached them about the topic.

That, and people are extremely insecure, OP.

No, my friend’s housekeeper is a white American.

Is this a teen stirring the pot?