Why are people so weirdly mean and competitive on this forum in particular ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the last gasp of parenting superiority. Certain parents have spent the last 18ish years justifying their own worth and validating their own choices through the accomplishments of their children. They are wildly insecure and emotionally broken. Where their kid gets into school is the last big opportunity to hold their child up as proof of their own relevancy and success, rather than being relevant and successful in their own. Part of that is dysfunction diminishing others and the children of others.

These parents may do this more subtly or not at all in real life to not ostracize themselves from society with such narcissistic behavior, or maybe they have no one to subject this too in real life because they’ve already driven everyone away, so they come to an anonymous forum where it can be done without consequence.

Doubt it. Parent’s success and accomplishments are typically positively correlated with their children’s, not negatively. You’re saying it as another toxic person who is jealous and thinks negatively about people who have more success than you.

Wow. You just proved the PPs entire point.

I’m not the one who is jealous and insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the last gasp of parenting superiority. Certain parents have spent the last 18ish years justifying their own worth and validating their own choices through the accomplishments of their children. They are wildly insecure and emotionally broken. Where their kid gets into school is the last big opportunity to hold their child up as proof of their own relevancy and success, rather than being relevant and successful in their own. Part of that is dysfunction diminishing others and the children of others.

These parents may do this more subtly or not at all in real life to not ostracize themselves from society with such narcissistic behavior, or maybe they have no one to subject this too in real life because they’ve already driven everyone away, so they come to an anonymous forum where it can be done without consequence.

Doubt it. Parent’s success and accomplishments are typically positively correlated with their children’s, not negatively. You’re saying it as another toxic person who is jealous and thinks negatively about people who have more success than you.

Wow. You just proved the PPs entire point.

I’m not the one who is jealous and insecure.

Oh, hon.

[Anonymous]

Here we go…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here we go…

Should I get the popcorn or get the heck off this website to read a book? Decisions, decisions …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here we go…

[Anonymous]

I think it is the anonymity. People spew their lowest opinions of others. It hurts to read some posts here. Worse though, I also have a special needs child and the hate comes thru in person as well as online. Help young people fulfill their education and career aspirations with useful tips. If can’t do that, please stay away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they’re insecure. Insecurity is the reason for most cruelty in general.

Yup and it’s an exceptionally toxic mix of insecure and entitled. UMC parents worried they can’t pass on their social position/affluence to their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think this forum is bad, clearly you haven't been to the soccer forum here. I find this whole site to be about 50% toxic. The other 50% sometimes contains useful information. It's pretty easy to spot the toxic threads in this forum though...anything comparing schools like, "Is X school elite?"

+1 The soccer forum is something else, and it’s not that hard to find useful info or thoughtful posts on this one. You need to stop falling for trolls and responding to jerks, and then you will help raise the level of discussion. Try it today—ignore every toxic post and respond to the ones you find useful, and see what a better experience you have. And like a PP said, don’t even click on the “Is X School Elite?” Type threads unless you do so for entertainment value only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the last gasp of parenting superiority. Certain parents have spent the last 18ish years justifying their own worth and validating their own choices through the accomplishments of their children. They are wildly insecure and emotionally broken. Where their kid gets into school is the last big opportunity to hold their child up as proof of their own relevancy and success, rather than being relevant and successful in their own. Part of that is dysfunction diminishing others and the children of others.

These parents may do this more subtly or not at all in real life to not ostracize themselves from society with such narcissistic behavior, or maybe they have no one to subject this too in real life because they’ve already driven everyone away, so they come to an anonymous forum where it can be done without consequence.

Doubt it. Parent’s success and accomplishments are typically positively correlated with their children’s, not negatively. You’re saying it as another toxic person who is jealous and thinks negatively about people who have more success than you.

Wow. You just proved the PPs entire point.

I’m not the one who is jealous and insecure.

Oh, hon.

All of this could be true but feels foreign to me. I am mystified that anyone cares what some anonymous person on a board thinks. It is so strange.

Also, to the mom of a special needs kid - many of us would never think the cruel things I have seen posted. These mean anonymous posters do not represent me or my values. Don’t take it to heart!

[Anonymous]

OP, there are a fair number of trolls and teenagers as well. My advice, if you get a response that is unhelpful, just ignore and move on,

You might try the more heavily-moderated College Confidential, especially for financial aid questions. Just avoid any forum anywhere called chance me.

It wasn't always this way, but at this point, the kids on reddit applyingtocollege, who are also more moderated than years ago, are much nicer than a good portion of DCUM.

[Anonymous]

I think there are 2-4 trolls. That’s enough to ruin a thread.

[Anonymous]

I think, giving this some real thought, it's because the college scramble is kind of the last stand of competitive parenting, living through your kids, etc. Once the kids are off, that's it. Mix in all the anxiety of just existing these days, and you have a perfect recipe for a bunch of people acting like a**holes.

[Anonymous]

The most truthful answer is that males ages 17-23 have discovered this specific forum on DCUM (by doing internet searches of certain college names. )

They’re the same juvenile, cocky, hubris-filled jerks you see populating College Confidential and Reddit. The language and ad hominem attacks are identical and easy to identify.

It’s all about killing the competition and swinging your little d around to show strength.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think, giving this some real thought, it's because the college scramble is kind of the last stand of competitive parenting, living through your kids, etc. Once the kids are off, that's it. Mix in all the anxiety of just existing these days, and you have a perfect recipe for a bunch of people acting like a**holes.

Yup. You nailed it, as did some other posts. For competitive parents, college is the last hurrah until jobs, graduate school, and marriage - but those are different forums.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s caused by disappointment in their kids and maybe themselves. It causes a lot of scapegoating and ill-will toward those who succeeded in getting into the coveted schools.

There is also an anti-intellectual movement among the right-wing conservatives which causes them to troll here even if they don’t have college-aged kids.