Why are people so weirdly mean and competitive on this forum in particular ?

[Anonymous]

CTCL schools. Lol. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don’t get is the certainty people have about quality of schools. Unless you have attended more than one, there’s no way you can honestly compare one against another. The splitting of hairs of Cornell over Brown or whatever is so stupid.

OMG!!!! Thank you. And, presumably these debaters think they’re qualified to attend such schools. Otherwise, why the interest? Ironically, such “smart” people are missing the forest for the trees. If I was on an Ivy admissions team and heard these people debate, they wouldn’t get admitted because they lack good judgment.

Neither of you two have met the people debating these topics so how can you honestly have an opinion on the opinion of others. You are so stupid.

We’re judging the people by their comments, and their comments are less than bright.

So if you can have an opinion of someone without meeting or knowing them, why can't people have opinions of schools that they have not attended in person? Do you not see how stupid your logic is?

+1. Also, people are able to have informed opinions on schools through a number of variables without having directly attended -- they have a close relative who attended/their family has ties; they have friends who attended; they live or work near the school; or hell, they did a campus visit and are just reporting what they saw. Also, certain industries do have set tiers and sometimes even reputations (however accurate or inaccurate) that they work off of when recruiting. Which is why it's genuinely unhelpful when people from, say, really small unknown school boost their school and proclaim it as some elite bastion of prestige.

[Anonymous]

I think people are so hostile because college admissions at the so-called top schools is out of their control. They have curated and manipulated their children’s educational experience and now this is the one piece they cannot control. There is no bullying the admissions officer like they bully teachers for A’s. There are no retakes, no extra credit. It’s out of their hands and their kid may not be the one to win the admissions lottery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people are so hostile because college admissions at the so-called top schools is out of their control. They have curated and manipulated their children’s educational experience and now this is the one piece they cannot control. There is no bullying the admissions officer like they bully teachers for A’s. There are no retakes, no extra credit. It’s out of their hands and their kid may not be the one to win the admissions lottery.

And so everyone bullies each other here - it’s unfortunate. I really appreciate positive threads in this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and they only care about elite top 20 or schools. Not about the major, or about the fit, cost , location etc. As long as the college name can impress others .. that’s all that matters.

You’re the one who is toxic. People can care whatever fits their needs. Just because your kid couldn’t get in top 20, doesn’t mean others won’t benefit from it.

Proof positive.

Sad. Living through your kid much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:CTCL schools. Lol. No thanks.

You are a horror. Nouveau, I'm sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably insecurity is the right answer..
This forum is really toxic. It’s definitely not good for advice. It’s only for bragging and tearing down other parents for their choices.

I’ve actually gotten a lot of good advice! Not every thread is toxic. Some are very useful, some are hilarious, some are misery loves company-esque. I do think some people are exceptionally sensitive or are in delicate situations and I agree that comments can be hurtful in those situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it’s really alarming to me. What do you get from berating a family or young adult and their choices, etc? It’s awful.

Well, the fact is that most of the responses in this part of the forum are from high school students and college students. Not "parents." And it's mostly kids from Montgomery County and Fairfax County who currently attend or recently graduated from ultra competitive pressure cooker magnet high schools (there are some kids from California, too). One kid who studies engineering at UMich seems to have posted hundreds or thousands of times about UVa. He starts with an absurd statement "boosting" UVa, then complains in response to his own post. It's like a weird play he puts on for all of us. My belief is that the kids who have taken over the DCUM college forum are just trying to share, with someone, their hopes for the future and their anxieties about college achievement and fitting into mainstream American culture. Their own parents don't really connect with them, so they come here to have some kind of interaction with some kind of parent. But the problem is that they're only connecting with other kids who are impersonating their parents, too. Sometimes the bored lawyers get into flame wars with the bored, lonely kids impersonating parents, and it's like a dysfunctional family has sprung to life on these anonymous boards. And that is better for the kids than being stuck in their rooms trying to meet their real-world parents' impossible demands for Ivy or bust.

[Anonymous]

Although there are definitely a few bad eggs, I do think a lot of the nastiness is a direct response to some of the outlandish boosterism on this board. If the outlandish boosterism were to go, I think it would become a whole lot less toxic.

For example, a couple of months ago, there was a very long thread instigated by a parent or alum from X school loudly trying to convince everyone that their school was elite/prestigious/etc., going so far as to insult other schools in an attempt to boost their own. This obviously resulted in many pages and pages of back and forth. It's this kind of behavior that results in animus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CTCL schools. Lol. No thanks.

You are a horror. Nouveau, I'm sure.

DP, but see what I mean? Yes, you're right, these so-called CTCL schools are simply teeming with old money kids.

[Anonymous]

My favorite is when a booster from a no-name school starts calling everyone else peasants or peons or nouveau riche striver idiots for daring to think their school is not prestigious or desirable. And then they complain about how DCUM is so toxic and mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My favorite is when a booster from a no-name school starts calling everyone else peasants or peons or nouveau riche striver idiots for daring to think their school is not prestigious or desirable. And then they complain about how DCUM is so toxic and mean.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes and they only care about elite top 20 or schools. Not about the major, or about the fit, cost , location etc. As long as the college name can impress others .. that’s all that matters.

DC Urban Moms: Prestige Hunters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it’s really alarming to me. What do you get from berating a family or young adult and their choices, etc? It’s awful.

it's you fault for taking them seriously and/or personally, just go over those mean ones and take only the information you need, don't expect counseling from the blog here

[Anonymous]

Weird, I've found people on this forum to be really kind and helpful.