Why are people so weirdly mean and competitive on this forum in particular ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of astounded by not only the bragging but the put downs here regarding where kids are going to college. It just shows a lot of privilege and insensitivity, to me. It's great to be proud of your kid's achievement, but why the need to denigrate other parents or their kid's school?

The social posturing of some on this board really makes me sad. Like, how great, sincerely, that your kid got into X top school, but how sad that you're a jerk to other people whose kid did not.

I was one of the first in my family to have the opportunity to attend college. I had little help in the college preparation and selection process - I was just (and still am) so grateful that I was able to go at all.

I have two children. One had the grades, scores and a resume that brought a little interest from top schools - there is a small chance he would have been accepted at an Ivy or top 20 had he applied, the standard "crap shoot" chance that a lot of very high achieving kids have when applying to an exceedingly selective university. He was interested in art schools, and that is where he applied and ended up, with no regrets.

Other child struggled greatly with mental health during high school. Hospitalizations. Fears for this child's well being. Did not have the grades or stamina for anywhere close to a top level anything university. Our focus was treatment, wellbeing, then academics. He pulled it together with a lot of help and effort by his senior year, and was accepted to a number of colleges. Many here scoff at the word "fit" but you can bet that we paid a LOT of attention to "fit" for this kid. Yes, things like did the school have a strong department in their chosen major, but also things like how are the mental health services on campus, distance from home, the atmosphere on campus, support services, etc. were all far more critical to our child's success and well being than the school's national ranking or what the folks at the country club thought of it. We are grateful to have found a smaller, far less prestigious school where our son, thankfully, has been able to thrive.

Not everyone is looking at an Ivy League school for their child. Some of us are thankful, for a variety of reasons, to have a kid in community college, or a "bottom" 50% school, or the local non-flagship university. And it's a shame that there are posters here who seem to be so gleeful in mocking those schools, those students, and those families.

I think Art degree is for rich people.
My kid was also interested in art schools, but after college research, end up at a nice univeriy where the kid can do art + otheres.
Currently double majoring in digital media art and computer science.

[Anonymous]

OP the college threads have always been bad. I guess a lot of the forum is entertainment for some people and they get their kicks being assholes here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of astounded by not only the bragging but the put downs here regarding where kids are going to college. It just shows a lot of privilege and insensitivity, to me. It's great to be proud of your kid's achievement, but why the need to denigrate other parents or their kid's school?

The social posturing of some on this board really makes me sad. Like, how great, sincerely, that your kid got into X top school, but how sad that you're a jerk to other people whose kid did not.

I was one of the first in my family to have the opportunity to attend college. I had little help in the college preparation and selection process - I was just (and still am) so grateful that I was able to go at all.

I have two children. One had the grades, scores and a resume that brought a little interest from top schools - there is a small chance he would have been accepted at an Ivy or top 20 had he applied, the standard "crap shoot" chance that a lot of very high achieving kids have when applying to an exceedingly selective university. He was interested in art schools, and that is where he applied and ended up, with no regrets.

Other child struggled greatly with mental health during high school. Hospitalizations. Fears for this child's well being. Did not have the grades or stamina for anywhere close to a top level anything university. Our focus was treatment, wellbeing, then academics. He pulled it together with a lot of help and effort by his senior year, and was accepted to a number of colleges. Many here scoff at the word "fit" but you can bet that we paid a LOT of attention to "fit" for this kid. Yes, things like did the school have a strong department in their chosen major, but also things like how are the mental health services on campus, distance from home, the atmosphere on campus, support services, etc. were all far more critical to our child's success and well being than the school's national ranking or what the folks at the country club thought of it. We are grateful to have found a smaller, far less prestigious school where our son, thankfully, has been able to thrive.

Not everyone is looking at an Ivy League school for their child. Some of us are thankful, for a variety of reasons, to have a kid in community college, or a "bottom" 50% school, or the local non-flagship university. And it's a shame that there are posters here who seem to be so gleeful in mocking those schools, those students, and those families.

I think Art degree is for rich people.
My kid was also interested in art schools, but after college research, end up at a nice univeriy where the kid can do art + otheres.
Currently double majoring in digital media art and computer science.

New poster.

Out of that entire heartfelt, sincere post, which that parent took time to write, all that the other PP got out of it was "I think art degree is for rich people."

THAT is exactly why this forum is so awful: So many parents read a genuine post like the first one above and are incapable of seeing anything beyond their own reaction: "Oh, that kid's degree will be no good. MY kid is doing something much better." Blind and staggeringly self-centered. Competitive too.

To the parent whose son is at art school after the long, tough mental health struggle--Congratulations to your kids and to you too. You are clearly an excellent parent, a strong and intelligent advocate for your child, and a wise counselor through what must have been an arduous college application process. Ignore those, like that PP, who simply cannot see any further than the end of their own turned-up noses and who have never had to deal with worrying about a child's mental health. They have no idea, and never will have any idea, how very easy they and their kids have had it, or how appallingly lacking in empathy they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP the college threads have always been bad. I guess a lot of the forum is entertainment for some people and they get their kicks being assholes here.

Health forum also has gotten bad during COVID.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of astounded by not only the bragging but the put downs here regarding where kids are going to college. It just shows a lot of privilege and insensitivity, to me. It's great to be proud of your kid's achievement, but why the need to denigrate other parents or their kid's school?

The social posturing of some on this board really makes me sad. Like, how great, sincerely, that your kid got into X top school, but how sad that you're a jerk to other people whose kid did not.

I was one of the first in my family to have the opportunity to attend college. I had little help in the college preparation and selection process - I was just (and still am) so grateful that I was able to go at all.

I have two children. One had the grades, scores and a resume that brought a little interest from top schools - there is a small chance he would have been accepted at an Ivy or top 20 had he applied, the standard "crap shoot" chance that a lot of very high achieving kids have when applying to an exceedingly selective university. He was interested in art schools, and that is where he applied and ended up, with no regrets.

Other child struggled greatly with mental health during high school. Hospitalizations. Fears for this child's well being. Did not have the grades or stamina for anywhere close to a top level anything university. Our focus was treatment, wellbeing, then academics. He pulled it together with a lot of help and effort by his senior year, and was accepted to a number of colleges. Many here scoff at the word "fit" but you can bet that we paid a LOT of attention to "fit" for this kid. Yes, things like did the school have a strong department in their chosen major, but also things like how are the mental health services on campus, distance from home, the atmosphere on campus, support services, etc. were all far more critical to our child's success and well being than the school's national ranking or what the folks at the country club thought of it. We are grateful to have found a smaller, far less prestigious school where our son, thankfully, has been able to thrive.

Not everyone is looking at an Ivy League school for their child. Some of us are thankful, for a variety of reasons, to have a kid in community college, or a "bottom" 50% school, or the local non-flagship university. And it's a shame that there are posters here who seem to be so gleeful in mocking those schools, those students, and those families.

I think Art degree is for rich people.
My kid was also interested in art schools, but after college research, end up at a nice univeriy where the kid can do art + otheres.
Currently double majoring in digital media art and computer science.

New poster.

Out of that entire heartfelt, sincere post, which that parent took time to write, all that the other PP got out of it was "I think art degree is for rich people."

THAT is exactly why this forum is so awful: So many parents read a genuine post like the first one above and are incapable of seeing anything beyond their own reaction: "Oh, that kid's degree will be no good. MY kid is doing something much better." Blind and staggeringly self-centered. Competitive too.

To the parent whose son is at art school after the long, tough mental health struggle--Congratulations to your kids and to you too. You are clearly an excellent parent, a strong and intelligent advocate for your child, and a wise counselor through what must have been an arduous college application process. Ignore those, like that PP, who simply cannot see any further than the end of their own turned-up noses and who have never had to deal with worrying about a child's mental health. They have no idea, and never will have any idea, how very easy they and their kids have had it, or how appallingly lacking in empathy they are.

Beautifully stated, PP. Yes, Parent with kid in art school, Congrats on success with both of your kids. Fit is really important. I have a kid looking at a range of schools, Ivy anf ctcl. I don't understand the basking or ranking attitudes here. Finding a great environment where a kid can grow and learn skills for potential employment is a big win, and it can come in many forms. Congrats, again, you sound like a great mom.

The critical ppp sounds like some of the parents in my kid's magnet program. These types think arts are only valuable in an ancillary capacity or for getting into an Ivy. It makes the kids sad and stressed.

[Anonymous]

Bashing, not basking. Woops!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think this forum is bad, clearly you haven't been to the soccer forum here. I find this whole site to be about 50% toxic. The other 50% sometimes contains useful information. It's pretty easy to spot the toxic threads in this forum though...anything comparing schools like, "Is X school elite?"

Agree 100%. Soccer forum is just ridiculous! LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s caused by disappointment in their kids and maybe themselves. It causes a lot of scapegoating and ill-will toward those who succeeded in getting into the coveted schools.

There is also an anti-intellectual movement among the right-wing conservatives which causes them to troll here even if they don’t have college-aged kids.

I thought it was a liberal thing, no?

You think the anti-intellectual movement is LIBERAL? Oh, sweetie.

Oh yes it is, at least for the recent movements.

False. Look at what the liberal equity movement did to TJ. Or cancellation of upper level math on high school. Everything is being dumbed down and going woke, which is why Northam list. Parents are fed up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of astounded by not only the bragging but the put downs here regarding where kids are going to college. It just shows a lot of privilege and insensitivity, to me. It's great to be proud of your kid's achievement, but why the need to denigrate other parents or their kid's school?

The social posturing of some on this board really makes me sad. Like, how great, sincerely, that your kid got into X top school, but how sad that you're a jerk to other people whose kid did not.

I was one of the first in my family to have the opportunity to attend college. I had little help in the college preparation and selection process - I was just (and still am) so grateful that I was able to go at all.

I have two children. One had the grades, scores and a resume that brought a little interest from top schools - there is a small chance he would have been accepted at an Ivy or top 20 had he applied, the standard "crap shoot" chance that a lot of very high achieving kids have when applying to an exceedingly selective university. He was interested in art schools, and that is where he applied and ended up, with no regrets.

Other child struggled greatly with mental health during high school. Hospitalizations. Fears for this child's well being. Did not have the grades or stamina for anywhere close to a top level anything university. Our focus was treatment, wellbeing, then academics. He pulled it together with a lot of help and effort by his senior year, and was accepted to a number of colleges. Many here scoff at the word "fit" but you can bet that we paid a LOT of attention to "fit" for this kid. Yes, things like did the school have a strong department in their chosen major, but also things like how are the mental health services on campus, distance from home, the atmosphere on campus, support services, etc. were all far more critical to our child's success and well being than the school's national ranking or what the folks at the country club thought of it. We are grateful to have found a smaller, far less prestigious school where our son, thankfully, has been able to thrive.

Not everyone is looking at an Ivy League school for their child. Some of us are thankful, for a variety of reasons, to have a kid in community college, or a "bottom" 50% school, or the local non-flagship university. And it's a shame that there are posters here who seem to be so gleeful in mocking those schools, those students, and those families.

Beautifully said. I’m a parent with a similar child to your second mentioned one. We are currently in the midst of college acceptances/decisions and I’m so proud of my son for what he has gone through and his interest in pursuing college balanced with his mental health and physical health needs.