Why are people so weirdly mean and competitive on this forum in particular ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If everyone would just tell it like it is we’d all be good. Your kid can’t get into a top 20, cool, just own it and say she’s going to a solid state school because that’s the best she can do. Nobody is gonna have a problem with that. Just don’t sent them to a CTCL school and talk about “fit” and how they’re better than top 20 and that’s why you chose it. What you really mean by “fit” is “fit for a top 20 reject who you’re too embarrassed to send to a state school.”

A perfect example of OPs point. What a ridiculous post (and no I don't have a kid at an CTCL).

Yea well the truth hurts sometimes.

[Anonymous]

“More graduates of CTCL school X get PhDs than Amherst . . .”

Blah blah blah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yea well the truth hurts sometimes.

The level of snark displayed here demonstrates OP's point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If everyone would just tell it like it is we’d all be good. Your kid can’t get into a top 20, cool, just own it and say she’s going to a solid state school because that’s the best she can do. Nobody is gonna have a problem with that. Just don’t sent them to a CTCL school and talk about “fit” and how they’re better than top 20 and that’s why you chose it. What you really mean by “fit” is “fit for a top 20 reject who you’re too embarrassed to send to a state school.”

A perfect example of OPs point. What a ridiculous post (and no I don't have a kid at an CTCL).

Yea well the truth hurts sometimes.

There is no truth to cause hurt, my sad little poster. I'm sorry for your pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it’s really alarming to me. What do you get from berating a family or young adult and their choices, etc? It’s awful.

For the same reason, Twitter is a cesspool of crazy angry virtue signaling lowlifes. It's fun and you can do it anonymously. These folks would never do this with their real identity

+1 million

Agree! But... I also think this area is outright pretentious, competitive, and rude. I've lived in other places where community and inclusion was front and center-I don't get that feeling anywhere around here. It's very fake living here. I have always enjoyed volunteering-even volunteering in this area seems off putting because of the weird and unkind competitiveness. WE had family here from Washington State and they noted how "cold" people are here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there’s a lot of concern among UMC parents about whether their kids will do as “well” as they did. Plus college is a culmination of a thousand parenting decisions made over years. What ECs, what academics, how hard you will push and tutor for grades. Public or private school. Which school pyramid. Parents, myself included, need to feel like they made the right choices.

If you and you kid sacrificed pieces of their childhood (and a lot of money) for a T20, you need to believe it’s worth it. If you help a kid who struggled academically or social emotionally, you need to believe they will become happy, healthy, products results at their CTCL school. If you are like me and every decision was hard and you put a lot of thought into each step, you need to believe that that non T20 but well respected good fit colleges are places where your kid will be happy and productive and accomplish their goals.

But, when you are talking about parenting choices and the future of your kids, most people’s natural response is to dig in and insist their path and their choices is the “right” one.

This is the correct answer.

I absolutely agree. It starts in the child’s infancy and continues. Private vs public; daycare vs SAHP vs nanny care; TV or no TV; early potty training vs late potty training; AP’s vs no APs; etc, etc, etc...

Truth. It’s deemed “mom shaming” to mention anything we may have done that is later proven to not be the best way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it’s really alarming to me. What do you get from berating a family or young adult and their choices, etc? It’s awful.

Thanks for saying this OP. The Wilson/private school thread got me. I couldn’t believe what I was reading and that people actually think this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it’s really alarming to me. What do you get from berating a family or young adult and their choices, etc? It’s awful.

Thanks for saying this OP. The Wilson/private school thread got me. I couldn’t believe what I was reading and that people actually think this way.

What’s the Wilson/private school thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If everyone would just tell it like it is we’d all be good. Your kid can’t get into a top 20, cool, just own it and say she’s going to a solid state school because that’s the best she can do. Nobody is gonna have a problem with that. Just don’t sent them to a CTCL school and talk about “fit” and how they’re better than top 20 and that’s why you chose it. What you really mean by “fit” is “fit for a top 20 reject who you’re too embarrassed to send to a state school.”

A perfect example of OPs point. What a ridiculous post (and no I don't have a kid at an CTCL).

+1. This is EXACTLY what OP was talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it’s really alarming to me. What do you get from berating a family or young adult and their choices, etc? It’s awful.

I still think it’s the product of a message board manipulation program. Some neuro linguistic programming school sends the students here to practice trolling and getting us into silly fights. But I’m really gullible and take the bait, even though I know the fisher person has never seen a college outside Southern Asia, the Balkans, the former Soviet Union, or some town near a Republican grassroots marketing firm office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it’s really alarming to me. What do you get from berating a family or young adult and their choices, etc? It’s awful.

I still think it’s the product of a message board manipulation program. Some neuro linguistic programming school sends the students here to practice trolling and getting us into silly fights. But I’m really gullible and take the bait, even though I know the fisher person has never seen a college outside Southern Asia, the Balkans, the former Soviet Union, or some town near a Republican grassroots marketing firm office.

Uh… do you really believe this? That’s some highfalutin conspiracy-making right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don’t get is the certainty people have about quality of schools. Unless you have attended more than one, there’s no way you can honestly compare one against another. The splitting of hairs of Cornell over Brown or whatever is so stupid.

OMG!!!! Thank you. And, presumably these debaters think they’re qualified to attend such schools. Otherwise, why the interest? Ironically, such “smart” people are missing the forest for the trees. If I was on an Ivy admissions team and heard these people debate, they wouldn’t get admitted because they lack good judgment.

Neither of you two have met the people debating these topics so how can you honestly have an opinion on the opinion of others. You are so stupid.

We’re judging the people by their comments, and their comments are less than bright.

So if you can have an opinion of someone without meeting or knowing them, why can't people have opinions of schools that they have not attended in person? Do you not see how stupid your logic is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are 2-4 trolls. That’s enough to ruin a thread.

I recognize that obsessing too much about organized trolling can be as disruptive as trolling. But keep in mind that one of the alleged goals of Russian message board manipulation programs is to make participating in a forum so boring and unpleasant that people stop trying to communicate with each other, without thinking they’ve been censored.

Another issue is that this board attracts people with sensitive jobs. Getting us to defend our colleges might be a way for spies to try to figure out our names and connect us with our LinkedIn entries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it’s really alarming to me. What do you get from berating a family or young adult and their choices, etc? It’s awful.

I still think it’s the product of a message board manipulation program. Some neuro linguistic programming school sends the students here to practice trolling and getting us into silly fights. But I’m really gullible and take the bait, even though I know the fisher person has never seen a college outside Southern Asia, the Balkans, the former Soviet Union, or some town near a Republican grassroots marketing firm office.

That sounds awfully complicated

Anyone with an agenda who’s intelligent enough to use a simple vpn could easily manipulate people with a little sock puppeting on this forum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are 2-4 trolls. That’s enough to ruin a thread.

I recognize that obsessing too much about organized trolling can be as disruptive as trolling. But keep in mind that one of the alleged goals of Russian message board manipulation programs is to make participating in a forum so boring and unpleasant that people stop trying to communicate with each other, without thinking they’ve been censored.

Another issue is that this board attracts people with sensitive jobs. Getting us to defend our colleges might be a way for spies to try to figure out our names and connect us with our LinkedIn entries.

This seems extremely paranoid on your part. Are you OK?