How common is it to be 'groped' by a stranger?

[Anonymous]

This thread is awful. This never happened to me (grew up in DC). I wonder if being really tall was an advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who has the guts to try and touch me without my permission, they can come on. I have no problem dispatching someone. My body, my boundaries, my right to protect myself however I have to do it. I don't have to worry about that, though. I am not the kind of woman anyone wants to mess with. I look like exactly what I am: A dangerous woman who has lived too long and too hard and has seen too much. Don't allow yourself to be a victim, OP. No one has the right to grope you.

Of course they don't. But if i'm petite, and he is 220 pounds, and he corners me when I'm waiting for the bus, I can't "dispatch" him and it doesn't mean that I'm "allowing myself to be a victim",

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who has the guts to try and touch me without my permission, they can come on. I have no problem dispatching someone. My body, my boundaries, my right to protect myself however I have to do it. I don't have to worry about that, though. I am not the kind of woman anyone wants to mess with. I look like exactly what I am: A dangerous woman who has lived too long and too hard and has seen too much. Don't allow yourself to be a victim, OP. No one has the right to grope you.

Of course they don't. But if i'm petite, and he is 220 pounds, and he corners me when I'm waiting for the bus, I can't "dispatch" him and it doesn't mean that I'm "allowing myself to be a victim",

A power imbalance simply exists here; that will never change.

If only there were something that could even out the odds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who has the guts to try and touch me without my permission, they can come on. I have no problem dispatching someone. My body, my boundaries, my right to protect myself however I have to do it. I don't have to worry about that, though. I am not the kind of woman anyone wants to mess with. I look like exactly what I am: A dangerous woman who has lived too long and too hard and has seen too much. Don't allow yourself to be a victim, OP. No one has the right to grope you.

Of course they don't. But if i'm petite, and he is 220 pounds, and he corners me when I'm waiting for the bus, I can't "dispatch" him and it doesn't mean that I'm "allowing myself to be a victim",

A power imbalance simply exists here; that will never change.

If only there were something that could even out the odds?

Like men learning to respect women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hundreds of times when I've been at a bar or club or at a party.

In those places, that's being friendly.

No, it is not. If you're a man, how would you feel about a random man touching your crotch while you're out having a drink with some friends?

this! How do men think this is ok? Is it a power thing? Do they get off on touching another person without their permission? Are they that desperate?

women don't seem to realize that most men don't mind being treated like a piece of meat.

But, if the man was consistently grabbed in the crotch by a really ugly women, he would probably get upset. Lucky for them, they are strong enough to protect themselves. Women, unfortunately, don't.

Women should mace any guy who grabs her.

Few guys want to be treated like a piece of meat by an ugly guy who’s bigger and stronger than they are.

What does being ugly have to do with anything?

[Anonymous]

It is intriguing to watch old movies and tv shows (pre 1970s) to see how commonly accepted groping of the rear and catcalls were as part of standard public humor. The woman who gets groped as a comeuppance and the groping man who gets a black eye from a handbag as a comeuppance were both apparently hugely popular gags. While I can sort of understand both gags, I never liked how the movies and shows made light humor out of everyday bottom groping and slapping in office settings. Very glad those days are long over.

[Anonymous]

I was once groped on a train while wearing a baby. Seriously.

I went to a 0srty with some friends and every single woman there had a story about being creeper on, groped, or some man "accidentally" brushing his crotch against her on thr train. Every single one.

[Anonymous]

Happened several times. First was in a mall when I was 13. A guy who was old enough to drive because we saw him in the parking lot later, smacked my ass. Literally walked passed me and did it. At 16 an older (60s) man in my office swooped up behind me and carried me to the office kitchen as a joke and set me down on the table as a group of other men laughed. My friends brother worked there and he was about 20 and got pissed off and complained to the owner because I was visibly upset but tried to brush it off .Owner told him to lighten up, that it was a joke. This was the early 90s. So gross.

[Anonymous]

As a man the issue is in a bar, college party, spring break, Jersey shore etc. between the ages of 18 and 30 in a bar full of singles men have to be aggressive and be the one approaching.

Groping, grabbing, kissing is totally wrong 100 percent. But women don’t say ok to kiss, hug me, grab their butt. So as a man it is risky business.

Usually I am respectful but once my friends and I had a “numbers contest” another time a kissing contest.

Meaning who can get most phone numbers or kiss most girls.

Kissing wise I did 13 women. Some in under 5 seconds. Not one had an issue.

One women I went straight in not a single word.

Maybe I only do my moves in singles places with alcohol. And I was single and going for single girls with 1-3 years of my age I never got slapped

[Anonymous]

Only had it happen to me once by a driver helping with my luggage in Cairo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 50 year old dude. Closest I ever came to being groped was one Halloween in college where my costume was "flasher." I went to the bars with a long coat on (shorts underneath and no shirt.) On the street, as I was leaving, some girl came up behind me and lifted up my coat to see how committed I was to the costume.

That was fun for me, but I totally understand why the dynamic is way different in the situations being described in this thread.

The fact that you dressed up for halloween as someone who exposes himself to women (aka, a sex offender), explains a lot, about how so many women view being groped as just something they have to deal with. It's not funny to dress up as a rapist, and it's not funny to dress up as a dude who masturbates at people as they jog by, or a dude who flashes his junk at little kids getting off the school bus. Just, none of it is funny. Sorry.

What's next? Halloween costumes about people and creatures that kill people?

[Anonymous]

I’m a PP and remember the very first time. I was maybe 5yrs old. I was excited to wear my new skirt and went outside to play. A very mean little boy from the neighborhood was outside. He pinned me forcefully against the wall and kissed me. I struggled and got away. I never wore that skirt again. How terrible that I was that young and how terrible that this little boy learned this behavior from someone. I think about these experiences and really grieve for my daughters. I hate that I have to prepare them for this eventuality so they can protect themselves and not have to carry shame.

[Anonymous]

Never but I didn't go to clubs, bars, concerts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man the issue is in a bar, college party, spring break, Jersey shore etc. between the ages of 18 and 30 in a bar full of singles men have to be aggressive and be the one approaching.

Groping, grabbing, kissing is totally wrong 100 percent. But women don’t say ok to kiss, hug me, grab their butt. So as a man it is risky business.

Usually I am respectful but once my friends and I had a “numbers contest” another time a kissing contest.

Meaning who can get most phone numbers or kiss most girls.

Kissing wise I did 13 women. Some in under 5 seconds. Not one had an issue.

One women I went straight in not a single word.

Maybe I only do my moves in singles places with alcohol. And I was single and going for single girls with 1-3 years of my age I never got slapped

You're disgusting and should be ashamed of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who has the guts to try and touch me without my permission, they can come on. I have no problem dispatching someone. My body, my boundaries, my right to protect myself however I have to do it. I don't have to worry about that, though. I am not the kind of woman anyone wants to mess with. I look like exactly what I am: A dangerous woman who has lived too long and too hard and has seen too much. Don't allow yourself to be a victim, OP. No one has the right to grope you.

Of course they don't. But if i'm petite, and he is 220 pounds, and he corners me when I'm waiting for the bus, I can't "dispatch" him and it doesn't mean that I'm "allowing myself to be a victim",

A power imbalance simply exists here; that will never change.

If only there were something that could even out the odds?

Like men learning to respect women?

mace and a taser