How common is it to be 'groped' by a stranger?

[Anonymous]

I'm a 50 year old dude. Closest I ever came to being groped was one Halloween in college where my costume was "flasher." I went to the bars with a long coat on (shorts underneath and no shirt.) On the street, as I was leaving, some girl came up behind me and lifted up my coat to see how committed I was to the costume.

That was fun for me, but I totally understand why the dynamic is way different in the situations being described in this thread.

[Anonymous]

A number of times. Maybe a dozen or so? I’m 38 and have been groped on the subway and bus, in a crowded public space, in bars and clubs. Once by a very famous, powerful person and I absolutely should’ve said something but it was early 2000s and it just wasn’t called out at that time. I wish I’d said something.

[Anonymous]

Back in the 80s, when I was a 13 year old boy, I remember one of my friends bragging about how he and some other boys had been snapping bras and some other groping type behavior. One really f**ked up thing I remember about that was that I felt ashamed that I wasn't "brave" enough to do the same thing. That's what the cool boys were doing and it seemed like the girls regarded it as flirting. But I couldn't muster the courage and I felt bad about myself.

How messed up is the culture when a kid feels bad about *not* assaulting a girl? Glad things have changed a lot over the last 40 years.

[Anonymous]

A few times by older drunken women (the cougar type). I'm male and decently fit and dress well, so I guess I attract it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you been groped? Where did it happen? It's happened to me many times (like on the subway for example) and while it pissed me off, I didn't report it to the cops because I thought it wasn't even a crime. Groping is considered sexual assault now, but years ago it wasn't, am I right?

men will grope anything/anyone when urge takes over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was groped many times in junior high and high school and it always was a big joke. The boys would try to pull our string bikini's off at the public pools. It was boys being boys.

Now in the #metoo days when a sexual assault (groping) is committed by a teenager at school it makes headlines and the citizens come out with their pitchforks to extract a pound of flesh from the sex offender.

It's actually why Christine Blasey Ford's story didn't faze me in the least. I thought it almost certainly did happen as she described it, but that sort of thing happened to many young females in the 80s - unwanted groping, throwing on beds, wrestling - myself included. I had an occasion where I was terrified and thought I might be raped. But I must say, it was so commonplace among the girls I knew that I didn't feel traumatized by it.

I cannot even tell you how many times I was groped - breasts, derriere, crotch. I didn't realize it was sexual assault until someone at the law firm where I was a paralegal told me that it was. I was 25.

I went to Prep parties at the time. Boys cornering you in a room, pushing you into a room, throwing you on a bed and not letting you out was common. But like CBF if you showed some strength you could get away. I’m sure some didn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was groped many times in junior high and high school and it always was a big joke. The boys would try to pull our string bikini's off at the public pools. It was boys being boys.

Now in the #metoo days when a sexual assault (groping) is committed by a teenager at school it makes headlines and the citizens come out with their pitchforks to extract a pound of flesh from the sex offender.

It's actually why Christine Blasey Ford's story didn't faze me in the least. I thought it almost certainly did happen as she described it, but that sort of thing happened to many young females in the 80s - unwanted groping, throwing on beds, wrestling - myself included. I had an occasion where I was terrified and thought I might be raped. But I must say, it was so commonplace among the girls I knew that I didn't feel traumatized by it.

I cannot even tell you how many times I was groped - breasts, derriere, crotch. I didn't realize it was sexual assault until someone at the law firm where I was a paralegal told me that it was. I was 25.

I went to Prep parties at the time. Boys cornering you in a room, pushing you into a room, throwing you on a bed and not letting you out was common. But like CBF if you showed some strength you could get away. I’m sure some didn’t.

Or maybe that was the extend of their “game” - to prove they could dominate and intimidate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was groped many times in junior high and high school and it always was a big joke. The boys would try to pull our string bikini's off at the public pools. It was boys being boys.

Now in the #metoo days when a sexual assault (groping) is committed by a teenager at school it makes headlines and the citizens come out with their pitchforks to extract a pound of flesh from the sex offender.

It's actually why Christine Blasey Ford's story didn't faze me in the least. I thought it almost certainly did happen as she described it, but that sort of thing happened to many young females in the 80s - unwanted groping, throwing on beds, wrestling - myself included. I had an occasion where I was terrified and thought I might be raped. But I must say, it was so commonplace among the girls I knew that I didn't feel traumatized by it.

I cannot even tell you how many times I was groped - breasts, derriere, crotch. I didn't realize it was sexual assault until someone at the law firm where I was a paralegal told me that it was. I was 25.

I went to Prep parties at the time. Boys cornering you in a room, pushing you into a room, throwing you on a bed and not letting you out was common. But like CBF if you showed some strength you could get away. I’m sure some didn’t.

Or maybe that was the extend of their “game” - to prove they could dominate and intimidate.

^^^Wow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never. I'm in my mid 40's, went to clubs/parties almost every weekend in college, but never took publc transportation. Even now as an adult, the only time I take public transportation is when traveling in other cities.[/quote

Do you consider yourself attractive?

Yes, in college I was definitely attractive. Men would flirt/ask for my number, etc. but no one ever tried to grope me until we were actually on a date/making out —which is a completely different scenario than being groped by a stranger.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who has the guts to try and touch me without my permission, they can come on. I have no problem dispatching someone. My body, my boundaries, my right to protect myself however I have to do it. I don't have to worry about that, though. I am not the kind of woman anyone wants to mess with. I look like exactly what I am: A dangerous woman who has lived too long and too hard and has seen too much. Don't allow yourself to be a victim, OP. No one has the right to grope you.

[Anonymous]

A lot of groping really isn't about sex or attraction. It's about physically intimidating someone and proving that you can do something to them that they don't want you to. And yes, women do it too. Not as often, but then women are not as frequently in a position of power over others.

Sure, some groping happens as a clumsy come on, especially between inebriated people at parties or bars. But most of the time groping is distinguished by the power play. A person who genuinely thinks the other person will welcome being touched has still crossed an inappropriate boundary, but it's a fundamentally different act.

It's the people who grope knowing that it's unwelcome (who in fact are turned on by the fact that it's unwelcome) who are the real pervs. And there are an alarming number of people like this in the world.

[Anonymous]

As a man only once. Went to a Toga party that was packed a d all I am wearing was a sheet. Felt a hand on my dick in a crowded dance floor. First I see it is a women. Second I look where other hand at. I see it is on another’s guys dick.

I don’t know but I felt violated. Groping Me is ok but none of this double groping!! I have standards

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who has the guts to try and touch me without my permission, they can come on. I have no problem dispatching someone. My body, my boundaries, my right to protect myself however I have to do it. I don't have to worry about that, though. I am not the kind of woman anyone wants to mess with. I look like exactly what I am: A dangerous woman who has lived too long and too hard and has seen too much. Don't allow yourself to be a victim, OP. No one has the right to grope you.

“Dispatching someone.” And given the disparity of strength attested to by multiple PP’s, precisely how to you plan to accomplish this?

[Anonymous]

male poster - been groped at bars and concerts (butt grabbing) - not ok with it. gropers should be shamed always

[Anonymous]

I've been groped dozens of times, but the worst was when the male friend of someone I was dating did it. I'd just met him and his pregnant wife that day, and we were all in a car together. Guy I was dating was driving and I was in the back seat. The groper was on the other side of the back seat, and his wife was between us. He had his arm around his wife and kept touching me. My arm, my leg, my crotch. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to cause an accident or a fight. I ended up digging my nails into him and he stopped. It was twenty years ago and still pisses me off when I think about it.