How common is it to be 'groped' by a stranger?

[Anonymous]

Have you been groped? Where did it happen? It's happened to me many times (like on the subway for example) and while it pissed me off, I didn't report it to the cops because I thought it wasn't even a crime. Groping is considered sexual assault now, but years ago it wasn't, am I right?

[Anonymous]

Countless times in the 1990s. It was mainly relatively anonymous - man rubbing his crotch on my shoulder while I was seated on a bus and he was standing next to me, man grabbing me late at night when I was walking home. I never felt empowered enough to speak up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Countless times in the 1990s. It was mainly relatively anonymous - man rubbing his crotch on my shoulder while I was seated on a bus and he was standing next to me, man grabbing me late at night when I was walking home. I never felt empowered enough to speak up.

Did you think of it as a crime back then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Countless times in the 1990s. It was mainly relatively anonymous - man rubbing his crotch on my shoulder while I was seated on a bus and he was standing next to me, man grabbing me late at night when I was walking home. I never felt empowered enough to speak up.

Did you think of it as a crime back then?

PP here - No I didn’t. I thought it was gross on public transportation. When the man grabbed me late at night, I blamed myself for walking alone. I never considered any of the incidents a crime nor did I consider informing law enforcement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Countless times in the 1990s. It was mainly relatively anonymous - man rubbing his crotch on my shoulder while I was seated on a bus and he was standing next to me, man grabbing me late at night when I was walking home. I never felt empowered enough to speak up.

Did you think of it as a crime back then?

PP here - No I didn’t. I thought it was gross on public transportation. When the man grabbed me late at night, I blamed myself for walking alone. I never considered any of the incidents a crime nor did I consider informing law enforcement.

PP again - I realize now that it was a crime!

[Anonymous]

I was groped innumerable times. Transportation, on the street, and a few times at dance clubs. I never thought of it as a crime, never reported it, even had a hard time telling the groper to stop or leave me alone. I am almost 50 and I look back on that sort of incredulously, but I can still put myself back in my shoes and I just feel paralyzed and ashamed, like I was the one doing something wrong. I was raised by feminist parents who in no way made me think I owed men access to my body, and I am a big, powerfully built woman and always have been. It didn't matter.

[Anonymous]

I was groped many times on the train back in the 90’s in another country. I was reading books and those men got surprised when I hit the part with my elbow and “accidentally” with my umbrella.

[Anonymous]

There's a good thread on the show Sex Education about public transportation sexual harassment. Made me remember that awful paralyzed and powerless feeling from my teenage years. I hope more people realize that it's a crime nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Many times as a teen/young adult. The first time I was 14-15, at a county fair and a grown man smacked my butt. I was horrified and probably scowled at him, but felt helpless since I was essentially still a kid. Several times on public transportation, in crowded bars, waiting in a line. When I could tell who it was I spoke up loudly, but I never really thought to report. I did get a guy kicked out of a bar for repeatedly touching my friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a good thread on the show Sex Education about public transportation sexual harassment. Made me remember that awful paralyzed and powerless feeling from my teenage years. I hope more people realize that it's a crime nowadays.

+1 80s and 90s (ik, I'm old). A few times when I was under 18. Yea, you feel powerless and gross.

[Anonymous]

This has never happened to me. I am surprised at how many people here are saying it has happened frequently to them. I am older than some of you responding, in my late fifties, so maybe guys weren’t doing this kind of thing when I was younger.

[Anonymous]

Hundreds of times when I've been at a bar or club or at a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hundreds of times when I've been at a bar or club or at a party.

In those places, that's being friendly.

[Anonymous]

Twice for me. Once dancing at a club as a teenager—snuck in with a fake ID—some random stranger started dancing behind me and putting his hands up my shorts. Then a few years later on a packed subway in NYC, guy smushed right up behind me was basically grinding into me for a few minutes until enough people got off the train that I could move far away.

[Anonymous]

Many times when I was younger, especially in crowded bars/events where it was hard to pinpoint the perpetrator. There was so much misogyny and shame surrounding this kind of thing (first question- “what were you wearing?”) in the late 80s/through the 90s that women generally didn’t report much, short of rape. I’m 52.