DH left gas stove on overnight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be furious at my husband too OP.

There are certain mistakes that just shouldn’t be made, even once.
Leaving a gas stove on all night is one of them.

When if for instance your husband left a candle 🕯 on overnight and your entire house burned down because the candle was too close to a curtain, etc.
Even if it only happened ONCE - his carelessness would still be infuriating.
Same if I accidentally hit a parked car while backing up.

Considering you have a baby in the home, your husband should definitely have been much more careful.

If I accidentally hit a parked car and my husband was then “furious” with me, we would have a hard time. His fury would be uncalled for, and I wouldn’t tolerate being the brunt of that. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s one thing to point out a mistake, or to continually make the same mistake - but to launch into fury over one regretted incident is not only pointless but also hurtful.

Ahhh. The “mistake” of hitting stationary objects. Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm ticked off every time DH does something like this. It doesn't seem to register that he needs to be more careful. He's left the gas stove on, electric oven on with food inside, fireplace burning with the vent closed (at least twice), left house and car doors unlocked countless times (good thing we live in a safe neighborhood), the sunroof open multiple times (his car got soaked at least twice), allowed the baby to roll off of the bed, and left candles burning. So, now we have timers, sensors, smart locks, electronic candles, and no fireplace. It boggles the mind how someone can be so careless.

It’s called ADHD or aspergers or both. Or just developmentally immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stuff happens. Give your husband a break. Treat him the way you want to be treated when you screw up majorly - because it’s not an if. Everyone does.

+100

+ 200

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re both tired from dealing with a new baby. It’s been a slog. I mean this kindly, but you just haven’t done your stupid thing yet. You will.

+1. Having a baby is tough. You need to give each other a break or you will never make it.

And focus on preventative measures. Lack of sleep and stress makes people forget. Set up your life so the completely expected mistakes are less likely to be tragic: put a child's toy on the front seat as a reminder your child is in a back car seat, have a checking process before you go to bed that the doors are locked, the oven is off. Make sure you have smoke and C02 alarms. Follow the red cross guidelines for general emergency preparedness. Channel your anxiety into prevention that is in your control rather than harboring anger towards your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be furious at my husband too OP.

There are certain mistakes that just shouldn’t be made, even once.
Leaving a gas stove on all night is one of them.

When if for instance your husband left a candle 🕯 on overnight and your entire house burned down because the candle was too close to a curtain, etc.
Even if it only happened ONCE - his carelessness would still be infuriating.
Same if I accidentally hit a parked car while backing up.

Considering you have a baby in the home, your husband should definitely have been much more careful.

If I accidentally hit a parked car and my husband was then “furious” with me, we would have a hard time. His fury would be uncalled for, and I wouldn’t tolerate being the brunt of that. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s one thing to point out a mistake, or to continually make the same mistake - but to launch into fury over one regretted incident is not only pointless but also hurtful.

Ahhh. The “mistake” of hitting stationary objects. Yes.

And anger with someone over a mistake is useless and offensive especially when directed at another competent adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be furious at my husband too OP.

There are certain mistakes that just shouldn’t be made, even once.
Leaving a gas stove on all night is one of them.

When if for instance your husband left a candle 🕯 on overnight and your entire house burned down because the candle was too close to a curtain, etc.
Even if it only happened ONCE - his carelessness would still be infuriating.
Same if I accidentally hit a parked car while backing up.

Considering you have a baby in the home, your husband should definitely have been much more careful.

If I accidentally hit a parked car and my husband was then “furious” with me, we would have a hard time. His fury would be uncalled for, and I wouldn’t tolerate being the brunt of that. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s one thing to point out a mistake, or to continually make the same mistake - but to launch into fury over one regretted incident is not only pointless but also hurtful.

Ahhh. The “mistake” of hitting stationary objects. Yes.

And anger with someone over a mistake is useless and offensive especially when directed at another competent adult.

If you read the thread - part of the problem is that the husband was all NBD about it. People make mistakes but adults need to own it and reassure others that they will be more careful in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be furious at my husband too OP.

There are certain mistakes that just shouldn’t be made, even once.
Leaving a gas stove on all night is one of them.

When if for instance your husband left a candle 🕯 on overnight and your entire house burned down because the candle was too close to a curtain, etc.
Even if it only happened ONCE - his carelessness would still be infuriating.
Same if I accidentally hit a parked car while backing up.

Considering you have a baby in the home, your husband should definitely have been much more careful.

If I accidentally hit a parked car and my husband was then “furious” with me, we would have a hard time. His fury would be uncalled for, and I wouldn’t tolerate being the brunt of that. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s one thing to point out a mistake, or to continually make the same mistake - but to launch into fury over one regretted incident is not only pointless but also hurtful.

Ahhh. The “mistake” of hitting stationary objects. Yes.

And anger with someone over a mistake is useless and offensive especially when directed at another competent adult.

If you read the thread - part of the problem is that the husband was all NBD about it. People make mistakes but adults need to own it and reassure others that they will be more careful in the future.

I didn't read it that way. The husband apologized for leaving the gas on. The thing he was NBD was the 11 month old falling back while sitting in the tub--which really is a no big deal thing and happens all the time. OP sounds like she's cataloguing mistakes and overreacting quite a bit. She gives off an anxious and hypervigilant vibe even as she's presenting 'her side'. Of course we could be wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be furious at my husband too OP.

There are certain mistakes that just shouldn’t be made, even once.
Leaving a gas stove on all night is one of them.

When if for instance your husband left a candle 🕯 on overnight and your entire house burned down because the candle was too close to a curtain, etc.
Even if it only happened ONCE - his carelessness would still be infuriating.
Same if I accidentally hit a parked car while backing up.

Considering you have a baby in the home, your husband should definitely have been much more careful.

If I accidentally hit a parked car and my husband was then “furious” with me, we would have a hard time. His fury would be uncalled for, and I wouldn’t tolerate being the brunt of that. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s one thing to point out a mistake, or to continually make the same mistake - but to launch into fury over one regretted incident is not only pointless but also hurtful.

Ahhh. The “mistake” of hitting stationary objects. Yes.

And anger with someone over a mistake is useless and offensive especially when directed at another competent adult.

If you read the thread - part of the problem is that the husband was all NBD about it. People make mistakes but adults need to own it and reassure others that they will be more careful in the future.

I didn't read it that way. The husband apologized for leaving the gas on. The thing he was NBD was the 11 month old falling back while sitting in the tub--which really is a no big deal thing and happens all the time. OP sounds like she's cataloguing mistakes and overreacting quite a bit. She gives off an anxious and hypervigilant vibe even as she's presenting 'her side'. Of course we could be wrong.

That's my read. He apologized, but apparently didn't flagellate himself enough for OP's taste. Plus, you can get a bad dynamic, where he seems to minimize things because he's reacting to OP's blowing them out of proportion. Like, obviously they weren't breathing in toxic fumes all night -- the natural gas is gas stoves has an additive to make it stink, precisely to help detect leaks. They would have absolutely known if the gas had reached their bedrooms. Since everyone is fine, treat this as a learning experience, not an opportunity to lord your parenting superiority over your spouse.