DH left gas stove on overnight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ideal, but nothing happened. I’d be much more concerned if there was a pattern of carelessness. One time let it go. You’re fine. The baby is fine.

The other day, he filled the tub as the baby sat in the tub. I’ve told him not to do that before because there is a risk of scalding baby. He says it’s fine because he’s already tested the water before putting baby in- well guess what happened? When he reached to turn off the faucet, his hands weren’t supporting baby and baby fell backwards in the tub.

He’s super careful and never makes mistakes at work, and I feel like he doesn’t take the same care at home at all. He says I am too careful and over vigilant.

Umm, I def fill the tub with baby in it. So what? Baby could have just as easily fallen backwards when he reached for the soap. He was right there, right? Baby was righted immediately? Sounds like he’s very responsible.

You definitely need to get off his back. Or you’re going to end up with a lot of resentment in your marriage, an anxious kid, and doing way more than your share around the house/with the kids because only you do things “right.” You’re on a bad path here. Apologize to your husband for overreacting about the gas, call your pediatrician if you’re concerned, and if you can’t seem to relax or lower your standards at all, you might consider therapy for anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it sounds like you need therapy. If the gas was really on, you would have smelled it. And unless the baby was sleeping on the kitchen counter, he is totally fine. It isn’t carbon monoxide. He made a small mistake and apologized! The tub thing is also totally fine! The baby got wet in the tub. He was right there. If he left the room with the baby in the tub, then you have a problem. Neither of these issues warrant getting upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ideal, but nothing happened. I’d be much more concerned if there was a pattern of carelessness. One time let it go. You’re fine. The baby is fine.

The other day, he filled the tub as the baby sat in the tub. I’ve told him not to do that before because there is a risk of scalding baby. He says it’s fine because he’s already tested the water before putting baby in- well guess what happened? When he reached to turn off the faucet, his hands weren’t supporting baby and baby fell backwards in the tub.

He’s super careful and never makes mistakes at work, and I feel like he doesn’t take the same care at home at all. He says I am too careful and over vigilant.

I have never waited for the tub to fill before putting in the kid. I would expect an 11 month old to be reasonably good at sitting up. I assume he immediate righted the baby afterwards? I agree that you sound anxious and hypercritical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ideal, but nothing happened. I’d be much more concerned if there was a pattern of carelessness. One time let it go. You’re fine. The baby is fine.

The other day, he filled the tub as the baby sat in the tub. I’ve told him not to do that before because there is a risk of scalding baby. He says it’s fine because he’s already tested the water before putting baby in- well guess what happened? When he reached to turn off the faucet, his hands weren’t supporting baby and baby fell backwards in the tub.

He’s super careful and never makes mistakes at work, and I feel like he doesn’t take the same care at home at all. He says I am too careful and over vigilant.

I have never waited for the tub to fill before putting in the kid. I would expect an 11 month old to be reasonably good at sitting up. I assume he immediate righted the baby afterwards? I agree that you sound anxious and hypercritical.

Wait, people fill up the tub BEFORE putting the kid in?? We make sure the water is warm and then put the kid in. People sit around and wait for it to fill up?? I also open the drain and let the soap/dirty water drain and then fill it up with clean water for splashing.

[Anonymous]

Does your baby sleep in the kitchen?

After you get your reassurance from the pediatrician you should schedule yourself an appointment for anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ideal, but nothing happened. I’d be much more concerned if there was a pattern of carelessness. One time let it go. You’re fine. The baby is fine.

The other day, he filled the tub as the baby sat in the tub. I’ve told him not to do that before because there is a risk of scalding baby. He says it’s fine because he’s already tested the water before putting baby in- well guess what happened? When he reached to turn off the faucet, his hands weren’t supporting baby and baby fell backwards in the tub.

He’s super careful and never makes mistakes at work, and I feel like he doesn’t take the same care at home at all. He says I am too careful and over vigilant.

Umm, I def fill the tub with baby in it. So what? Baby could have just as easily fallen backwards when he reached for the soap. He was right there, right? Baby was righted immediately? Sounds like he’s very responsible.

You definitely need to get off his back. Or you’re going to end up with a lot of resentment in your marriage, an anxious kid, and doing way more than your share around the house/with the kids because only you do things “right.” You’re on a bad path here. Apologize to your husband for overreacting about the gas, call your pediatrician if you’re concerned, and if you can’t seem to relax or lower your standards at all, you might consider therapy for anxiety.

+1

I've left the gas on before in the same manner - just somehow didn't turn the knob all the way.

OP - your posts reek of "my DH is stupid" vibes. Tread carefully.

[Anonymous]

You’re both tired from dealing with a new baby. It’s been a slog. I mean this kindly, but you just haven’t done your stupid thing yet. You will.

[Anonymous]

I'd be furious too, OP.

All these people saying YOU're the problem are a little too casual with risk, in my opinion.

My husband has ADHD, and does well at work because he takes it seriously and makes an effort to focus. However outside of work, he loses things regularly, forgets appointments, is late for everything, and has made multiple child-safety mistakes that I find stressful, like wanting to leave the babies in the car while he runs errands, getting out the large kitchen scissors to cut a baby's nails... things that no one in his right mind would do. It increases my stress levels and makes me not trust him.

So, hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ideal, but nothing happened. I’d be much more concerned if there was a pattern of carelessness. One time let it go. You’re fine. The baby is fine.

The other day, he filled the tub as the baby sat in the tub. I’ve told him not to do that before because there is a risk of scalding baby. He says it’s fine because he’s already tested the water before putting baby in- well guess what happened? When he reached to turn off the faucet, his hands weren’t supporting baby and baby fell backwards in the tub.

He’s super careful and never makes mistakes at work, and I feel like he doesn’t take the same care at home at all. He says I am too careful and over vigilant.

I have never waited for the tub to fill before putting in the kid. I would expect an 11 month old to be reasonably good at sitting up. I assume he immediate righted the baby afterwards? I agree that you sound anxious and hypercritical.

Wait, people fill up the tub BEFORE putting the kid in?? We make sure the water is warm and then put the kid in. People sit around and wait for it to fill up?? I also open the drain and let the soap/dirty water drain and then fill it up with clean water for splashing.

I mean I fill the tub up first because my baby went through a phase of freaking out at the sound/sight of water coming out of the faucet and now it's habit, but I'm as confused as everyone else about OP's judgment. These were both small, unfortunate accidents where no one was harmed. It happens. OP, have you considered talking to someone about anxiety? You seem really stressed by little things.

[Anonymous]

Yikes, it’s going to be a long 18 years if you don’t try to calm down OP.

[Anonymous]

You have a carbon monoxide detector. Now upgrade to a gas stove with a safety that won't let the gas run without the burner being lit if you are so concerned.

[Anonymous]

Relax. It’s ok.

[Anonymous]

I've used gas stoves all my life (at my parents home first and then at my home.) My mom drilled it into me to always check the stove whenever I'm leaving the house, the kitchen, or before I go to bed. Doesn't matter if I'm not the one to cook. I was taught to check. I've been trying to train my husband but it doesn't stick. I guess you just have to be raised that way, so I check and get my kids to check. No blame if it happens. I've left it on a few times too, but whoever cooks it should ckeck and whoever remembers should check. Too much as stake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was your baby sleeping next to the stove? Do you live in a studio? I wouldn’t be concerned about this but do call your pediatrician for reassurance. I have 4 kids and I’ve never thought to wait until the faucet is off to put my baby in the tub.

Me either. My kid likes to play with the running water.

[Anonymous]

Your carbon monoxide detector doesn’t detect natural gas which is what comes from the stove. Carbon monoxide detectors would more commonly detect carbon monoxide from a faulty furnace, clothes dryer, or gas fireplace. The reason people don’t usually have natural gas detectors is because you’ll be able to smell it if the gas is leaking or left on from the stove. You can’t smell carbon monoxide (and it’s much more dangerous anyway) so it’s important to have detectors for it.

I’d be annoyed w my spouse too but understand things happen and you’re all ok so let it go. If it becomes a pattern, then you do something about it. But everyone makes mistakes like this sometimes.