Parents return adoptive child to Russia

[Anonymous]

"I think there is the idea with a Russian adoption that a family wants to adopt a white child because there are lots of other places like China, Latin America, Haiti etc. where a family could also adopt a child and I could be wrong but I didn't think Russia was that much closer, cheaper, quicker, more kids available to adopt etc. than all the other places."


"Precisely. Don't forget Guatemala, Vietnam, South Korea and Cambodia.

Russia is really the only huge source for caucasoid children available for adoption."


First of all, Guatemala, Vietnam and Cambodia are closed to adoption - at least for Americans. And, when you apply to adopt from Russia, there is no guarantee that you won't get an Asian child or child of other ethnicity.

Also, while race is most likely a factor for some, another factor is the relative ease of adopting from Russia. It's a very long standing program and well understood by US agencies. Also, given the large number of available kids, the process is quite rapid compared with other countries. Many prospective adoptive parents will choose Russia because they cannot bear the 5-7 year wait for kids from other countries or the uncertainty of new programs. But, Russia is defintely not cheaper than other programs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many white families that would adopt and Asian child would never consider adopting a black child.

What about the reverse? Would a black family want to adopt a white child?
The truth is, you do not know the motivations.

But, going along with what you say, I don't see the problem. People adopting -many of them- likely cannot conceive and would like a child that looks like them. There is no crime or ethical problem in that. I have a biological child and have never been in those shoes. Who am I to judge that sort of choice? Who are you to judge?

I wasn't judging. I was just stating what I have observed and been told by other adoptive parents.

I think adoptive parents need to ake race as a serious consideration when adopting and decide what they are comfortable with and proceed from there. If a white couple only wantsto adopt white children, I see no problem with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I think there is the idea with a Russian adoption that a family wants to adopt a white child because there are lots of other places like China, Latin America, Haiti etc. where a family could also adopt a child and I could be wrong but I didn't think Russia was that much closer, cheaper, quicker, more kids available to adopt etc. than all the other places."


"Precisely. Don't forget Guatemala, Vietnam, South Korea and Cambodia.

Russia is really the only huge source for caucasoid children available for adoption."


First of all, Guatemala, Vietnam and Cambodia are closed to adoption - at least for Americans. And, when you apply to adopt from Russia, there is no guarantee that you won't get an Asian child or child of other ethnicity.

Also, while race is most likely a factor for some, another factor is the relative ease of adopting from Russia. It's a very long standing program and well understood by US agencies. Also, given the large number of available kids, the process is quite rapid compared with other countries. Many prospective adoptive parents will choose Russia because they cannot bear the 5-7 year wait for kids from other countries or the uncertainty of new programs. But, Russia is defintely not cheaper than other programs.

You have got to be kidding? Easy? Most regions require 3 trips to Russia and some regions require sign off by 7 or 8 medical doctors while in country. Picking a child while in country. Trips to court. Sorry but that's not easy.

I adopted from Guatemala. Now that was easy. Legal process finished before I got there. I was there and back in three days. One trip to the US Embassy and that was it.

[Anonymous]

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/13/us/13hansen.html?src=mv

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A PP here. Birth parents' rights, even if currently only after the child turns 18, are a big deal!
I would want to do everything in my power (including adopting a non-US child) to avoid the birth parents
I just don't think that US law (and the direction it is going in this regard) is sufficient to give me comfort that the law will always treat my child as being exclusively mine.

Crazy people here. Thankfully some of these posters have not adopted.
Unfortunately, no child is ever exclusively yours or any one elses.
We are all born free, some to obsessivly posessive parents, I was hoping that pre-adoption counseling would weed out the crazy loonies. Seems to me that that is not happening. For some reason society views adoptive parents as being good. That is a myth.

[Anonymous]

Where is the adoptive FATHER in all of these discussions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is the adoptive FATHER in all of these discussions?

She adopted as a single woman. There is no adoptive father

[Anonymous]

"I adopted from Guatemala. Now that was easy. Legal process finished before I got there. I was there and back in three days. One trip to the US Embassy and that was it."


Yes, when Guatemala was open, many families found it easy. But, many families were not comfortable with Guatemala because of the corruption and the accusations of baby stealing. While I would never suggest that you can prevent corruption in adoption, one of the issues that is not of concern in Russia is whether the child was stolen from it's family.

[Anonymous]

But right now the issue in Russia is the sanity of the adotive homes that the children end up in.
This woman is crazy. Russia is right to suspend all adoptions. What kind of a country is willing to export their orphans without regard to the conditions that the child ends up in?

[Anonymous]

I think that some families purposely adopt Chinese girl babies because there are so many unwanted chinese girl babies due to the one-child policy and the chinese cultural tendency to favor a boy child. It's not that the adoptive families are saying "Asian girls are better than black girls", they're saying, "chinese girls got the short end of the stick so we're going to adopt one."

Eastern european adoptions have been popular in part because yes, there is some drive to want a kid that looks like you. We get excited when our biological children take after us, sperm banks provide donor physical descriptions in part so that the kid will look like a parent, and some caucasian families would prefer a caucasian child. I suspect that there's also a desire to let the kid feel like he fits in with the family - if a white family adopts an asian child, it'll be pretty clear early on that the kid was adopted. The parents might worry about the kid (or the parents) getting nosy questions all the time.

as for black/white adoptions, there's been controversy. The black community has at times spoken out against adoption of black children by white families; they don't always like it. I don't think a black family is likely to adopt a white baby because my guess is that there are so few white babies that they're pretty much spoken for. The demographics of children available for adoption do not really match up to the demographics of parents looking to adopt, so interracial adoption will always be a necessity. (and shouldn't be a big deal.)

as for this case, the Russians have been looking for a reason to suspend adoptions to the US for awhile - this was the straw that broke the camel's back, I think. I don't blame them, on one hand, but on the other hand, this is a country who literally rewrote history books during certain points in its history, to send a different message. I'd take things they say with a grain of salt. And it's long been known and documented that the eastern european orphanages are not nurturing places and kids can come out of them with lots of problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many white families that would adopt and Asian child would never consider adopting a black child.

This is true statistically and anecdotally speaking.

FYI _ It’s not taboo in adoption forums or listservs or IRL to admit to choosing to adopt a specific race. A PP pointed out that their friend adopted an Asian child from Russia because they are viewed in Russia as “less desirable” but what her friend didn’t bother to tell her is that is widely known and is often subtlety used as advertising by agencies to those who desire a “young as possible child” or a "girl as young as possible" or a child who they are almost guaranteeing is healthy(not true but they often make it seem that way). It’s the same with accepting a child with “minor correctible special needs” which could be anything from a lazy eye lip to a heart condition that could be easily fixed in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many white families that would adopt and Asian child would never consider adopting a black child.

This is true statistically and anecdotally speaking.

FYI _ It’s not taboo in adoption forums or listservs or IRL to admit to choosing to adopt a specific race. A PP pointed out that their friend adopted an Asian child from Russia because they are viewed in Russia as “less desirable” but what her friend didn’t bother to tell her is that is widely known and is often subtlety used as advertising by agencies to those who desire a “young as possible child” or a "girl as young as possible" or a child who they are almost guaranteeing is healthy(not true but they often make it seem that way). It’s the same with accepting a child with “minor correctible special needs” which could be anything from a lazy eye lip to a heart condition that could be easily fixed in the US.

I heard that in Kazakhstan, if you request a certain race, you get no child. Maybe they don't want racists adopting their kids.
If you want to have an accurate health history, the best place to adopt is in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many white families that would adopt and Asian child would never consider adopting a black child.

This is true statistically and anecdotally speaking.

FYI _ It’s not taboo in adoption forums or listservs or IRL to admit to choosing to adopt a specific race. A PP pointed out that their friend adopted an Asian child from Russia because they are viewed in Russia as “less desirable” but what her friend didn’t bother to tell her is that is widely known and is often subtlety used as advertising by agencies to those who desire a “young as possible child” or a "girl as young as possible" or a child who they are almost guaranteeing is healthy(not true but they often make it seem that way). It’s the same with accepting a child with “minor correctible special needs” which could be anything from a lazy eye lip to a heart condition that could be easily fixed in the US.

I heard that in Kazakhstan, if you request a certain race, you get no child. Maybe they don't want racists adopting their kids.
If you want to have an accurate health history, the best place to adopt is in the US.

They discourage you from requesting a Caucasian child while in Kazakhstan. There was one agency that for several years only placed Caucasian children from Kazkhstan but would place the asian children with single moms. I don't know if that's still their policy though. Probably not.

Accurate health histories in the US can be hard to come by. Intended birth parents can lie pretty easily and children in foster care, the health history might only be available for as long as they have been in care and that could be a short time.

[Anonymous]

21:24 - It could easily be LONG TERM effects of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Or anything else not divulged. You have no idea.

[Anonymous]

It is no shock that many who would never adopt a black child would welcome an Asian or non-black Hispanic child.

Just ask yourself one question - would you rather be born black or Asian in the U.S.?