Anyone else not care that much about cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly, you do care, OP which is why you have 3 threads going. You care that your DH has gone back to his AP. But you spent your life believing this couldn't happen to you or that you had a different kind of marriage and whatever psycho-babble you learned in school to become a therapist, and now you realize the nonsense you have been telling your clients for years may not be true, but you are still trying to convince yourself that it is, and you need everyone else to believe it with you.

I’m the therapist OP, and only have one thread going. The rest are by others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Monogamy is very difficult for many people.

I like Will + Jada’s approach to marriage personally,

If you're that unstable, DON'T GET MARRIED. Nor have kids because they need stable parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, are you okay if your H is having sex with men?

Not OP, but anal sex carries more risk for disease transmission because of the higher likelihood of micro tearing/blood. I’d take issue with this whether it was with a man or woman

How about if it was the occasional random oral hookup at the gym with another married guy, no anal involved?

If my husband had gay sex. It’s over. I married a heterosexual. So yeah a guy having sex with guys—no way in hell.

Somebody's a homophobe.

Guess what?! She's allowed to have an opinion. I also don't agree with that lifestyle, doesn't mean I'm going to prevent anyone from getting married, nor deny them a job. I also don't agree with people that cheat on their spouses. Sorry that card doesn't work with most in real life!@

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean. There are about 1000 different ways to ruin your marriage and hurt your partner, and cheating may be just one of them... or it may not be a big deal. I don't understand people who are willing to go through absolute hell in order to "save" their marriage, but are ready to drop everything they built in a second, because OMG CHEATING.

+1. My feelings exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, are you okay if your H is having sex with men?

Not OP, but anal sex carries more risk for disease transmission because of the higher likelihood of micro tearing/blood. I’d take issue with this whether it was with a man or woman

How about if it was the occasional random oral hookup at the gym with another married guy, no anal involved?

If my husband had gay sex. It’s over. I married a heterosexual. So yeah a guy having sex with guys—no way in hell.

Somebody's a homophobe.

Guess what?! She's allowed to have an opinion. I also don't agree with that lifestyle, doesn't mean I'm going to prevent anyone from getting married, nor deny them a job. I also don't agree with people that cheat on their spouses. Sorry that card doesn't work with most in real life!@

Thanks for letting us know, Mrs Falwell

[Anonymous]

I don’t really care about the act of cheating much but would be upset if he wanted to leave me/our family for her. I really like raising my kids with him and the life we’ve built so that’s what would be heartbreaking for me. If there was a way he, or I, could cheat but ensure no strong feelings for APs would develop I wouldn’t care much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I care a lot less after 16 years of marriage. I wonder if people who get wound up over cheating are still in the new and passionate phase? I would have been far more hurt then. Now, I kinda get it.

I’m only 10 years married but I also kind of get it. I wouldn’t be thrilled but it’s not like I’d immediately run out for a divorce. I love having sex with DH and we actually still are pretty passionate but it’s not like I cant imagine it would be exciting to sleep with someone new and different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I’ve been happily married for many years. My spouse isn’t perfect and neither am I but we are happy with our lives and have great kids as well as our own separate hobbies/friends etc. I honestly wouldn’t care that much if I found out he had ‘cheated’ on me. It doesn’t take away from what we have together, and I’m imperfect too. I think he feels the same way. It’s not something that is is so important to me the way it seems to be in a lot of other posts cue the realizing whole life was a lie, abuse etc. I also don’t think I have low self esteem as many will crow. Physical intimacy is just not the only measure of love in my opinion and not something I’d divorce over


Waiting for all the replies of wait until it happens to me I’m in denial etc or I have low self esteem and he’s already cheating. Anyone else know what I mean?

I agree with all of this. I think the real issues would be if he or I was in love with another person or had plans to leave the marriage. If that wasn’t the case, it’s not the huge deal to me the way it is for some other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, are you okay if your H is having sex with men?

Not OP, but anal sex carries more risk for disease transmission because of the higher likelihood of micro tearing/blood. I’d take issue with this whether it was with a man or woman

How about if it was the occasional random oral hookup at the gym with another married guy, no anal involved?

If my husband had gay sex. It’s over. I married a heterosexual. So yeah a guy having sex with guys—no way in hell.

Somebody's a homophobe.

Guess what?! She's allowed to have an opinion. I also don't agree with that lifestyle, doesn't mean I'm going to prevent anyone from getting married, nor deny them a job. I also don't agree with people that cheat on their spouses. Sorry that card doesn't work with most in real life!@

What “lifestyle”… going to college, falling in love, getting a good job, getting married, having kids, going to soccer games, cooking out with friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, are you okay if your H is having sex with men?

Not OP, but anal sex carries more risk for disease transmission because of the higher likelihood of micro tearing/blood. I’d take issue with this whether it was with a man or woman

How about if it was the occasional random oral hookup at the gym with another married guy, no anal involved?

If my husband had gay sex. It’s over. I married a heterosexual. So yeah a guy having sex with guys—no way in hell.

Somebody's a homophobe.

Guess what?! She's allowed to have an opinion. I also don't agree with that lifestyle, doesn't mean I'm going to prevent anyone from getting married, nor deny them a job. I also don't agree with people that cheat on their spouses. Sorry that card doesn't work with most in real life!@

Your H can bang a prostitute because you “agree with that lifestyle “?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, are you okay if your H is having sex with men?

Not OP, but anal sex carries more risk for disease transmission because of the higher likelihood of micro tearing/blood. I’d take issue with this whether it was with a man or woman

How about if it was the occasional random oral hookup at the gym with another married guy, no anal involved?

If my husband had gay sex. It’s over. I married a heterosexual. So yeah a guy having sex with guys—no way in hell.

Somebody's a homophobe.

Guess what?! She's allowed to have an opinion. I also don't agree with that lifestyle, doesn't mean I'm going to prevent anyone from getting married, nor deny them a job. I also don't agree with people that cheat on their spouses. Sorry that card doesn't work with most in real life!@

Your H can bang a prostitute because you “agree with that lifestyle “?

Looks like you glossed over pps response. No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, are you okay if your H is having sex with men?

Not OP, but anal sex carries more risk for disease transmission because of the higher likelihood of micro tearing/blood. I’d take issue with this whether it was with a man or woman

How about if it was the occasional random oral hookup at the gym with another married guy, no anal involved?

If my husband had gay sex. It’s over. I married a heterosexual. So yeah a guy having sex with guys—no way in hell.

Somebody's a homophobe.

Guess what?! She's allowed to have an opinion. I also don't agree with that lifestyle, doesn't mean I'm going to prevent anyone from getting married, nor deny them a job. I also don't agree with people that cheat on their spouses. Sorry that card doesn't work with most in real life!@

Your H can bang a prostitute because you “agree with that lifestyle “?

Looks like you glossed over pps response. No.

Her h can have sex outside the marriage.

It can’t be a man “because of the lifestyle “

It’s okay to have sex with a prostitute who is a woman.

Prostitutes’s lifestyle is okay with her.

Op is “not” homophobic /s

What did I miss?

[Anonymous]

Only a woman could be this dumb. There isn’t a man alive who would be cool with his wife cheating, but I bet there are plenty who will love having a wife who lets them run off. Lord, sometimes I read these posts and wonder who raised these pick-me women. Have some self-respect and don’t for a second believe that a man won’t cheat a thousand times but divorce the second his wife does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only a woman could be this dumb. There isn’t a man alive who would be cool with his wife cheating, but I bet there are plenty who will love having a wife who lets them run off. Lord, sometimes I read these posts and wonder who raised these pick-me women. Have some self-respect and don’t for a second believe that a man won’t cheat a thousand times but divorce the second his wife does.

Do you have evidence for believing this or is this just a personal opinion? I’m not so sure you are correct in thinking men will leave at the drop of a dime, they are far less likely to initiate a divorce, correct?

[Anonymous]

Until you've been there you would never know how you'd feel. I've never been cheated on (that I know of, I guess I should say), but I'm not dumb enough to proclaim exactly how I'd feel if it were to happen.