Anyone else not care that much about cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the wife gets The Four Seasons and the whore gets to suck his D at the Marriott.

It's that or her kneeling on the floor of her soccer-mom van. Have done both.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:So if his penis was in another hole, you’d be okay with him coming home and putting it in your hole? That’s kind of the base level question here.

Shower first, please.

By then the bacterial/viral infection has already set in. You can’t wash off hiv or chlamydia.

There is such a thing called condom.

Guys don't always use condoms with APs, especially if they think she can't get pregnant.

Also, condoms, don't prevent all STIs.

You don't have to drag down EVERY FRICKIN POST about sexual relations by bringing up STIs. We are adults. We know about it. We also know how to have sex without catching cooties. I presume you did too when you were single and riding a bunch of Ds? Seriously, can you just stop?

People in affairs and/or cheating are risk-takers by nature. In my practice, we see so many betrayed spouses with STIs.

I would still argue that on average, a married person is less likely to have multiple sex partners or carry STI comparing to a single person with the same level of attractiveness.

Sure, a highly attractive married person (like a celebrity or a CEO) may be more promiscuous than a 25-yo single unattractive nerd. But if you compare a single 25-yo average man to a married 45-yo average man, or a single 25-yo above-average looking woman to a married 45-yo above-average looking woman, I'd bet my money on the former being more promiscuous and having more chance of carrying STIs. The latter (the married ones) have too much constraints - kids, careers, the efforts of hiding the affairs - that makes it a lot more difficult (but not impossible) to have multiple partners.

Of course there are the sex addicted cheaters that are banging multiple people at the same time - I bet they did the same when they were single too. But for most married people that are having affairs, they are just looking for sex, attention, and external validation, and they would just be thrilled to have - and practically possible to maintain - one AP at a time.

*less likely" wow--such safety measures taken by cheaters on behalf of their spouses. Thanks for not banging a prostitute bare-back, just some whore off of Ashley Madison who has banged multiple men off of websites.

I'm the PP you are responding to. Do you think those cheaters who bang their APs bareback would be having protected sex if they were single? No way. People who have risky sex when cheating would just have riskier sex with more sex partners when they were single. People in general become more risk-adverse as they grow older and settle down.

I'm talking about the population average of STIs among single people having casual sex vs. married cheaters. Not your anecdotal stories of married whores banging all men off AM. If you are OK with young, single people having casual premarital sex, and you think STIs is just an acceptable, controllable risk for single people to have sex, then I don't see how it is different from married people having affairs.

There are certainly people (single or married) who are very careful about having protected sex and there are also those who don't give an F. All the men I slept with when I was single were willing to use condoms. But ultimately you know your DH best. If he was reluctant to use condoms in the early stage of you two dating, then chances are he wouldn't use condoms when he has an affair.

After having a vasectomy, even less likely. Women hate condoms even more than men. You should see their eyes light up when I let them know I'm snipped.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m with you. Also married over 20 years. My feelings have evolved on this subject. Early on, it would have resulted in me immediately throwing him out due to my pride. Now, I’d be willing to look the other way as long as he was discreet/it didn’t become public and he never confessed to me.

Affairs don’t always have anything to do with the marriage. Sometimes the other person is just looking for excitement, which is r trembly hard to get out of a relationship that has been solid for decades.

Are you willing to look the other way when he lies to your face to take her out of town to a fancy hotel? When he spends his free time texting and emailing her or goes into the bathroom before bed to wish her sweet dreams? Do you look the other way when you find out all the hours he was supposedly 'working over time' or staying at the Office late to finish a case, not only was he not working and you were dealing with the kids on your own, but he also was spending $ on her? Do you look the other way when he tells her that he loves her? Do you look the other way when you find out they don't use condoms? Do you look the other way when the other spouse shows up on your doorstep when you are having dinner with your kids? Do you look the other way when he decides he wants to leave you for her?

I could never love someone that lied to my face, exposed me to disease and was telling another woman that he loved her. I guess some people are different.

Just curious--do you make your own $? Do you still have sex with your husband or even love him? I don't know anyone that truly loved their spouse that thinks this is okay unless they are in it solely for the finances, cheat themselves or never loved them/just settled.

Wow, none of my many affairs were anything like that. We emailed or texted when it was near time to get together again. Not in-between. Used mid-priced hotels. No gifts or fancy meals. No, ILYs ever. Barely took any time away from family, just work. Had zero sex with spouse (hence, the affairs) so she had zero risk or concern about my condom use, or lack of. NO crazy spouses showing up at the door. None of us running off together. It was just sex and I don't regret any of it. Some of us know how to do this.

Sounds... delightful.

Ha! Thrilling. I won’t even step foot in a mid-price hotel, let alone take my shoes off. From that description, I’d feel like a used whore in that scenario. And you have to remember, that’s you. The person you are banging very well might have a great marriage/sex and you are merely a variety screw. If that spouse finds out it can go downhill and blow up very fast for you. It did for my friend. Wife wasn’t playing.

Thank you for advising me of all my risks. When you and I bang, of course I'll book a nice place for us with fluffy towels and soft pillows and room service. Leave your wedding ring on. I like that.

Oh, the sociopathic cheaters are back on the boards. Hi, sociopathic cheaters! Was getting a little dull without you guys here stirring the pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the wife gets The Four Seasons and the whore gets to suck his D at the Marriott.

It's that or her kneeling on the floor of her soccer-mom van. Have done both.

These women are mentally ill. Sucking some loser like this in their minivan. I thought the mid-price hotel with no contact until it was go time was bad.

Real classy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the wife gets The Four Seasons and the whore gets to suck his D at the Marriott.

So what? Assuming both cheaters are from the same socioeconomic class, the AP probably gets to stay at the Four Seasons at her own husband's $$$

Not to mention not all the wives being cheated on are married to the top 1% or get to stay at the Four Seasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the wife gets The Four Seasons and the whore gets to suck his D at the Marriott.

So what? Assuming both cheaters are from the same socioeconomic class, the AP probably gets to stay at the Four Seasons at her own husband's $$$

Not to mention not all the wives being cheated on are married to the top 1% or get to stay at the Four Seasons.

That pp’s post made me LOL. It fit the scenario of the married AP my ex banged at her house or in a cheap @ss motel. She never had even been out of the country/to Europe or anywhere else by middle age, much less eaten in Michelin star restaurants. They try to exit affair up, but too dumb and slutty to realize having sex upon first meet and settling for 30-60 min in a car or hotel room with a married guy, no gifts or dinner required isn’t going to make a guy think he has to treat you special, much less buy you dinner . The description the other pp was bragging about “doing it right and not getting caught” , about they didn’t even talk accept right before hook up to set up meet place, no gifts, no dinners, just mid-range hotels was soooooo depressing to read. Have some goddamn pride. Yet they want to say everyone on here that puts down women cheating are misogynistic. Hey Dummies, the guy treating you like that is the one that is misogynistic!!

Women married to high earners aren’t the ones in their knees for some strange D in a Toyota minivan😀.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you. Also married over 20 years. My feelings have evolved on this subject. Early on, it would have resulted in me immediately throwing him out due to my pride. Now, I’d be willing to look the other way as long as he was discreet/it didn’t become public and he never confessed to me.

Affairs don’t always have anything to do with the marriage. Sometimes the other person is just looking for excitement, which is r trembly hard to get out of a relationship that has been solid for decades.

Are you willing to look the other way when he lies to your face to take her out of town to a fancy hotel? When he spends his free time texting and emailing her or goes into the bathroom before bed to wish her sweet dreams? Do you look the other way when you find out all the hours he was supposedly 'working over time' or staying at the Office late to finish a case, not only was he not working and you were dealing with the kids on your own, but he also was spending $ on her? Do you look the other way when he tells her that he loves her? Do you look the other way when you find out they don't use condoms? Do you look the other way when the other spouse shows up on your doorstep when you are having dinner with your kids? Do you look the other way when he decides he wants to leave you for her?

I could never love someone that lied to my face, exposed me to disease and was telling another woman that he loved her. I guess some people are different.

Just curious--do you make your own $? Do you still have sex with your husband or even love him? I don't know anyone that truly loved their spouse that thinks this is okay unless they are in it solely for the finances, cheat themselves or never loved them/just settled.

Wow, none of my many affairs were anything like that. We emailed or texted when it was near time to get together again. Not in-between. Used mid-priced hotels. No gifts or fancy meals. No, ILYs ever. Barely took any time away from family, just work. Had zero sex with spouse (hence, the affairs) so she had zero risk or concern about my condom use, or lack of. NO crazy spouses showing up at the door. None of us running off together. It was just sex and I don't regret any of it. Some of us know how to do this.

OMG. That’s depressing. The whole point of being a mistress is to get fancy jewels, sexy lingerie and whisked on exotic vacations. Not meeting a married guy for a BJ in a mid-range Marriott. Seedy AF

[Anonymous]

This page is fascinating about how the married women see their worth as valuable since they only have sex if their husband takes them to a fancy hotel. This is party why men have affairs, for raw, primal sex. So they don't feel like a wallet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you. Also married over 20 years. My feelings have evolved on this subject. Early on, it would have resulted in me immediately throwing him out due to my pride. Now, I’d be willing to look the other way as long as he was discreet/it didn’t become public and he never confessed to me.

Affairs don’t always have anything to do with the marriage. Sometimes the other person is just looking for excitement, which is r trembly hard to get out of a relationship that has been solid for decades.

Are you willing to look the other way when he lies to your face to take her out of town to a fancy hotel? When he spends his free time texting and emailing her or goes into the bathroom before bed to wish her sweet dreams? Do you look the other way when you find out all the hours he was supposedly 'working over time' or staying at the Office late to finish a case, not only was he not working and you were dealing with the kids on your own, but he also was spending $ on her? Do you look the other way when he tells her that he loves her? Do you look the other way when you find out they don't use condoms? Do you look the other way when the other spouse shows up on your doorstep when you are having dinner with your kids? Do you look the other way when he decides he wants to leave you for her?

I could never love someone that lied to my face, exposed me to disease and was telling another woman that he loved her. I guess some people are different.

Just curious--do you make your own $? Do you still have sex with your husband or even love him? I don't know anyone that truly loved their spouse that thinks this is okay unless they are in it solely for the finances, cheat themselves or never loved them/just settled.

Wow, none of my many affairs were anything like that. We emailed or texted when it was near time to get together again. Not in-between. Used mid-priced hotels. No gifts or fancy meals. No, ILYs ever. Barely took any time away from family, just work. Had zero sex with spouse (hence, the affairs) so she had zero risk or concern about my condom use, or lack of. NO crazy spouses showing up at the door. None of us running off together. It was just sex and I don't regret any of it. Some of us know how to do this.

OMG. That’s depressing. The whole point of being a mistress is to get fancy jewels, sexy lingerie and whisked on exotic vacations. Not meeting a married guy for a BJ in a mid-range Marriott. Seedy AF

I don’t know about the luxury, but I thought it was for the romance and excitement. Sex — as a woman I’d rather use a gigolo if it came to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you. Also married over 20 years. My feelings have evolved on this subject. Early on, it would have resulted in me immediately throwing him out due to my pride. Now, I’d be willing to look the other way as long as he was discreet/it didn’t become public and he never confessed to me.

Affairs don’t always have anything to do with the marriage. Sometimes the other person is just looking for excitement, which is r trembly hard to get out of a relationship that has been solid for decades.

Are you willing to look the other way when he lies to your face to take her out of town to a fancy hotel? When he spends his free time texting and emailing her or goes into the bathroom before bed to wish her sweet dreams? Do you look the other way when you find out all the hours he was supposedly 'working over time' or staying at the Office late to finish a case, not only was he not working and you were dealing with the kids on your own, but he also was spending $ on her? Do you look the other way when he tells her that he loves her? Do you look the other way when you find out they don't use condoms? Do you look the other way when the other spouse shows up on your doorstep when you are having dinner with your kids? Do you look the other way when he decides he wants to leave you for her?

I could never love someone that lied to my face, exposed me to disease and was telling another woman that he loved her. I guess some people are different.

Just curious--do you make your own $? Do you still have sex with your husband or even love him? I don't know anyone that truly loved their spouse that thinks this is okay unless they are in it solely for the finances, cheat themselves or never loved them/just settled.

Wow, none of my many affairs were anything like that. We emailed or texted when it was near time to get together again. Not in-between. Used mid-priced hotels. No gifts or fancy meals. No, ILYs ever. Barely took any time away from family, just work. Had zero sex with spouse (hence, the affairs) so she had zero risk or concern about my condom use, or lack of. NO crazy spouses showing up at the door. None of us running off together. It was just sex and I don't regret any of it. Some of us know how to do this.

OMG. That’s depressing. The whole point of being a mistress is to get fancy jewels, sexy lingerie and whisked on exotic vacations. Not meeting a married guy for a BJ in a mid-range Marriott. Seedy AF

I don’t know about the luxury, but I thought it was for the romance and excitement. Sex — as a woman I’d rather use a gigolo if it came to that.

Again, how romantic is a mid-range hotel or the floor of a dirty minivan on your typical weekday afternoon? This is what they said "We emailed or texted when it was near time to get together again. Not in-between. Used mid-priced hotels. No gifts or fancy meals. No, ILYs ever. Barely took any time away from family, just work. "

That's about as mechanical and non-romantic as it gets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This page is fascinating about how the married women see their worth as valuable since they only have sex if their husband takes them to a fancy hotel. This is party why men have affairs, for raw, primal sex. So they don't feel like a wallet.

A warm hole!!!!

[Anonymous]

Don't some women just like sex for sex sake? Or is it true that the calculation is always there, need jewels, vacations, a title.

So even if the sex is great, a female AP isn't in it for that? I had no idea women didn't need sex as well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This page is fascinating about how the married women see their worth as valuable since they only have sex if their husband takes them to a fancy hotel. This is party why men have affairs, for raw, primal sex. So they don't feel like a wallet.

A warm hole!!!!

That's the great disconnect. Every AP has started threads 'did he love me?' 'has anyone ended up marrying their AP?" "What is a married guy's end game?

PP, you are correct, for men: sex. Women are always looking for more, even the ones that will swear up and down they are not. Trading up is what they are after. Which is funny because most men affair down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't some women just like sex for sex sake? Or is it true that the calculation is always there, need jewels, vacations, a title.

So even if the sex is great, a female AP isn't in it for that? I had no idea women didn't need sex as well

What’s sex without the passion, desire, imagination, seduction? Just get a dildo if you like the sensation, you can move it however you like. It’s not like some 50 year old guys body is going to be heaven on earth — no offense.

Women are in relationships to feel something with another person. It could just be they want to feel desired. But usually that isn’t an issue for women. Men give you that all the time on the street for free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This page is fascinating about how the married women see their worth as valuable since they only have sex if their husband takes them to a fancy hotel. This is party why men have affairs, for raw, primal sex. So they don't feel like a wallet.

A warm hole!!!!

That's the great disconnect. Every AP has started threads 'did he love me?' 'has anyone ended up marrying their AP?" "What is a married guy's end game?

PP, you are correct, for men: sex. Women are always looking for more, even the ones that will swear up and down they are not. Trading up is what they are after. Which is funny because most men affair down.

And he doesn't even have to use that wallet