Is it rude to take my toddler with me when I go in for monitoring?

[Anonymous]

Working on #2. It would be much easier if I could take my toddler with me when I get monitored, but I don't want to be insensitive to those who are tyring for their first. Does anyone take their kids with them? If yes, what do they do as you are being "probed"?

[Anonymous]

Some clinics do not allow you to bring your children, so I would check with your clinic first. My clinic doesn't allow children, though some people choose to break the rules. I think it is offensive when people break the rules. I am struggling to have my first child and see my clinic as a safe haven, so don't want to see someone else's child.

[Anonymous]

when i was ttc, i never liked to see when people would bring in their babies and kids. it made me feel even more empty...and mad...and jealous.
sorry, just being honest.

[Anonymous]

every ivf appointment is stressful (follies not growing enough, not growing fast enough, growing too fast, cycle may be cancelled, cycle may be converted to an iui, etc, etc) and the last thing i want to see is a child at the clinic.

[Anonymous]

I totally see where the PPs are coming from. However, I am about to start fertility treatments again, and there is just no alternative than to take my 18 month old DS (conceived through an IUI) with me. With all the monitoring, and the costs of treatment, I simply can't afford to fork out money for a babysitter for all of those appointments. I truly am sorry if it offends anyone.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is a matter of 'offending' anyone...I think it is a matter of being considerate.

I think that it is just NOT the place for a baby/toddler.

Granted, when I was in having my appointments, people brought their children in, BUT...if you are going to do that...I hope that because you have the option to be home with your child, and you may have a few less time restraints, that you don't show up at peak monitoring hours when the nulliparous are trying to get in and back out for work.

We were successful and have YET to bring the babies into the clinic, because there are scheduled times (lunch hour, basically) that they ask us to come in and show off the bubs...all done to be considerate of the other patients' feelings.

WLD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally see where the PPs are coming from. However, I am about to start fertility treatments again, and there is just no alternative than to take my 18 month old DS (conceived through an IUI) with me. With all the monitoring, and the costs of treatment, I simply can't afford to fork out money for a babysitter for all of those appointments. I truly am sorry if it offends anyone.

You should make sure that your clinic allows it. I know that Shady Grove does not. To break the rules is insensitive and basically saying f.u. to everyone there.

[Anonymous]

My understanding was that Shady Grove does not allow children for regular appointments (such as a consult), but does allow it for monitoring appointments. Is this wrong?

[Anonymous]

Shady Grove does not allow children for monitoring appts, consult appts, or for procedures.

[Anonymous]

If your clinic does not allow it, it is extremely rude.

If your clinic does allow it, it's still pretty insensitive. I would try to find appt times where there could be someone else to watch your child. It's the polite and understanding thing to do.

[Anonymous]

With monitoring, it is not easy to find someone to watch your child for an hour, at the drop of a hat. Maybe some people have family in the area who could fill in, but for those of us that don't, it simply isn't feasible.

[Anonymous]

I totally see where the PPs are coming from. However, I am about to start fertility treatments again, and there is just no alternative than to take my 18 month old DS (conceived through an IUI) with me. With all the monitoring, and the costs of treatment, I simply can't afford to fork out money for a babysitter for all of those appointments. I truly am sorry if it offends anyone.

I'm sorry, but I just don't agree with this. There ARE alternatives to taking your child with you, you just have to figure something out. I sympathize with your situation, but it's not appropriate to bring your child with you. Period. I'm sure you really are truly sorry if you offend anyone, but the other women sitting in the waiting room don't know that (you're probably not apologizing personally to each one of them for your child's presence), and in any case, an apology doesn't undo the damage of how the presence of a child in the waiting room makes someone feel.

I know where you're coming from. I have children, and seeing a child in the waiting room would not bother me. However, I understand how it can make others feel, and I have never once brought my children with me for monitoring or anything else - and I've been at this since July. First of all, my clinic (SG) doesn't allow it, but even if they did, I wouldn't dream of bringing my kids. I have bent over backwards arranging last-minute childcare, scrambling for babysitters, getting my DH to go in late for work so I can go at 7am for monitoring and be back by 8am, asking a neighbor (my one and only friend in whom I confided about all of this) if I can drop my kids at her house at 7:30 in the morning, whatever I have to do, but I would NOT ever bring them with me. I know times are tough financially now, but you are paying for fertility treatments but can't afford a sitter for an hour or two? Cut something else out of your budget to come up with $15 to get someone to watch your toddler for an hour, out of consideration for others.

[Anonymous]

With monitoring, it is not easy to find someone to watch your child for an hour, at the drop of a hat. Maybe some people have family in the area who could fill in, but for those of us that don't, it simply isn't feasible.

I'm 10:27 and wanted to add I have no family in the area. What I do have is one reliable neighbor, a husband, and a couple of babysitters who will be available with a day or two's notice (you usually have at least that much notice for monitoring). The sitters and the trusted neighbor did not fall into my lap - I made the effort to make sure I'd have someone to watch my kids during this process. So can you.

[Anonymous]

I tried not to do it, but did occasionally (my clinic allowed this).

My son was 2 and 3 during my cycles, and he just sat on a chair in the exam room and looked at a book during the ultrasounds. He didn't seem at all bothered by it. Sometimes they gave him a printout of my follicles! I think it was actually good that he got to see me have my blood drawn. He's pretty comfortable at the doctor's now.

I think you should try to find someone to watch your child, a neighbor, friend, etc. Really, you don't need to explain why, just say that you have an early morning appointment and could they help out. Most people would be totally willing to do this.

[Anonymous]

I'm a bit shocked by these posts (not in a bad way, just shocked). I am relatively new at TTC- I have no children, and have been trying for 9 months. We just had our first RE appointment. I truly would think nothing of seeing chidren in the waiting room - if anything, it gives me hope that people ARE successful with fertility treatments. My RE had pictures of his kids up in his office. Would this upset you?