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Is it rude to take my toddler with me when I go in for monitoring?
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Anonymous
| I know that I will see children most places I go and it doesn't bother me, but somehow the RE's office is not the place I want to see them. Maybe it is the fact that I am tortured in the office cycle after cycle with the b/w and dildo cam in hopes of having a child and the last thing I want to see is the one thing I want the most and don't have... |
Anonymous
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i don't get depressed if someone brings their kid, but i do get annoyed, especially if they are unruly. there are just some places that are inappropriate for young children. if you're there for an ultrasound, you take your kid in the room with you, undress, and let the kid see the tech shove something up their mom. that's so great of you to share that moment with your kid. best of luck to you.
its the same as if you took your kid to a posh restaurant on friday or saturday night with toddlers in tow. i saw a family of four on a friday night at cafe milano with small rowdy kids. i totally asked to be seated at another table and had to wait 20 mins for another one. that's just rude. i don't buy your "i can't afford a baby sitter" or something last minute came up arguments. as one poster said, if you can afford IVF, you can afford a sitter. |
Anonymous
| I have been seeking fertility treatment for recurrent m/c. That means that when I get pregnant, I go to the RE office for monitoring of the embryo size, location, and heartbeat. When I had those 4 mc's, and when that little heart stopped beating, I can't imagine anything that would have made me cried harder than seeing a little child outside the room where I just learned that my little child was gone. |
Anonymous
| I just had a retrieval on Sunday and their was another couple retrieving also. The other couple had a baby with them. The baby was probably 9 months asleep in a stroller. The baby was back with mom and dad during recovery. I thought it was a little weird to have a fussy baby back there at first, but then I realized it might be a good sign/omen. It was hopeful for me instead of hurtful. It hasn't always been this way. I used to get really offended. Maybe because it's I've been doing treatments for 3 years now. |
Anonymous
| doesn't bother me one bit to see a baby in the waiting room! Been trying for 5 years to have a baby!! I mean you have to deal with looking at kids everywhere you go in life!! Grin and bear it!! |
Anonymous
| I conceived via IUI and it took over a year, seven cycles. Clinic midway between home and work, child care near work, went with 2 year old in tow. Single mom. The morning monitoring was pretty quick, kept toddler in stroller strapped so he wouldn't wander. I'm sorry if you are one of those who were troubled by presence of a child. . . . not SG, a clinic with bulletin boards covered with photos of kids. |
Anonymous
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17:12 hit it right on the head. Not everyone is there for routine monitoring. Some people are there to get the worst news ever (i.e. no heartbeart). As someone who has gone though that also, I can tell you that you need some peace and quiet during that difficult time.
Most clinics have rules against bringing children and I think everyone should follow the rules. |
Anonymous
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"I'm a bit shocked by these posts (not in a bad way, just shocked). I am relatively new at TTC- I have no children, and have been trying for 9 months. We just had our first RE appointment. I truly would think nothing of seeing chidren in the waiting room - if anything, it gives me hope that people ARE successful with fertility treatments. My RE had pictures of his kids up in his office. Would this upset you? "
When DH and I went for our first RE appointment after about a year of TTC, I saw the signs at SG and thought "seeing other people's babies would never make me sad, after all the reason I'm doing this is because I want a baby", now after 3 failed IVFs, I am so thankful for SG's policy. Yes, I have to see children and pregnant bellies everywhere, but it was nice to not see them while anxiously waiting for morning monitoring appointments and waiting for my pregnancy test blood draw. To those with kids, if you had an 8am business meeting, you would surely figure something out in terms of day care - so why not for an infertility-related appointment? Please try to be considerate of others -- after all you never know what kind of bad news (cancelled cycle, ectopic, miscarriage) someone just received. |
Anonymous
Unfortunately, it seems there are some on this forum who just won't do that and don't believe they should have to. They'll just insist that there is NOTHING they can do to avoid bringing their child with them. Signed, someone with children who has repeatedly gone to great lengths to avoid ever bringing them to fertility appointments |
Anonymous
| Here is another perspective. I have a child that attends daycare near my work, which is an hour commute from the clinic and not open early enough for me to drop-off and then drive all the way back in the other direction to the clinic. I wake up at 5:30am to get there by 7am for monitoring. My husband stays home until I get back home and he is thus 1 hour late on those days I need monitoring. Fortunately, his job has some flexibility. He is a 30 minute commute in the opposite direction of where daycare is so it isn't possible for him to do the drop-off (he also take public transportation). There have been instances though where he is on travel and on those days, I drop my son off at my mom's the night before. She is one hour away so it isn't the most convenient thing for me. I do a whole lot of juggling each month to avoid bringing him to my appointments. I have had two instances though, where my husband was away and it was just impossible to do the drop-off at my mom's. I found a sitter through a friend and made the arrangements for her to babysit and guess what, she never showed up! So I really had no choice but to bring my child with me. Of course, I felt horrible and stressed. Although I agree that many bring their children because it is just more convenient, there are some of us who are jumping though hoops and making concessions to avoid this. Sometimes though, things don't work out the way we want them too. I know how hard it can be because we struggled the first time around, but please keep an open mind. There are some of us that get it but really have no choice. |
Anonymous
| I think everyone gets that there may be emergencies when people can't find childcare (just as there are emergencies when people bring their kids to work on the day of an important meeting because all the other childcare options fell through). But to have bringing your kid as your default option is pretty inconsiderate, in my opinion. |
Anonymous
I agree. Poster 10:30, you are clearly making significant efforts to avoid bringing your child & it's very considerate of you. A sitter not showing up, grandma unavailable, and husband out of town, all on the same morning, is a true emergency. I don't think anyone would fault you for bringing your child in that circumstance. But those who say "well, there's nobody to watch my kid" or "I can't afford a sitter" are not in that category - those are neither emergencies nor unavoidable. As an aside, we are fortunate to have a choice of several excellent RE clinics in this area. I work an hour from home and knew I would sometimes need to go for monitoring before work, and other times I'd be going from home. I chose a clinic that provides monitoring near both work and home. |
Anonymous
Do you actually have kids? |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
Agreed. |