Is it rude to take my toddler with me when I go in for monitoring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but I do think that you and your husband could probably figure something out for most of the time. Shady Grove starts monitoring very early. If you picked the clinic closest to DH's office, he could wait in the building lobby with DC while you went to monitoring (getting the earliest appointment possible) and then you and DC could drive home and DH could be at work by 8am. Note I did not suggest getting a babysitter (I realize that would be tough early in the morning).

And please don't be so condescending. My husband comes to EVERY monitoring appointment with me because it is a priority for him (and yes, he does have a very demanding job). He just told his boss that his wife has a serious medical condition and he will need to accompany her to some doctor's appointments. So if we are lucky enough to TTC for number 2 someday, he will not be so busy that he can't spend time with his own child from 7:15-7:45 in the morning for a week or two. I have plenty of friends with kids and am already on the wait lists for four daycares - so I'm not as naive as you think. But thanks for the good luck!

You are the one who is condescending. My husband's priority is to provide for his family so I can be a SAHM. He felt as strongly as I did that we wanted one of us to be home full-time with her before she starts school. With that decision came added responsibility for my husband because he is now the sole provider. You question our priorities as parents when you are already on the list for four daycares? Please.

[Anonymous]

As for "super hubby," since you seem to so obnxiously think yours is so much better, my husband married a strong woman who doesn't like to be babysat. Does your husband also keep track of how many tampons you use every month and every time you fart?

Plenty of us are there for monitoring alone. You have no idea what our stories are (my husband, fwiw, stood by my side through cancer and chemo, so I know when it's dire he will be there), so stop acting like you are somehow superior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You stay at your clinic, I'll stay at mine (which does not allow kids). But I have to wonder, why did you ask the question if you were going to do what was easiest for you anyways.

I'm not the OP. But I jumped in on this conversation because someone (you?) is making totally stupid statements that need to be refuted.

[Anonymous]

Wow...lots of helpful information being shared on this thread!



WLD

[Anonymous]

I am not the OP. I have read all the responses. I have a toddler. And I will absolutely be bringing him to monitoring with me if I need to. And it's not due to any intention to offend or any ill will. It's because between babysitters, my husband's job, my toddler's schedule, etc., that's what works for me. I feel no need to justify my decision to anyone. Good luck to all- perhaps someday you will be in this situation and change your mind. Because I have been in both (been without a child and seen kids at my RE appts), and now have a child, and this is the conclusion I have come to.

[Anonymous]

OP here,

I really wished the conversation didn't get ugly.

Thanks to those who shared their feelings. I recall when going thru treatment for my 1st, the presence of children didn't bother me. In fact, it was comforting to hear from some of the ladies that their child was conceived with some help. What started bothering me (and this began after the 2nd round of treatments and a cancellation, so obviously my frame of mind was changing from hopeful to desperate) was when the children were unruly. I started having negative thoughts such as "why are you trying for another one when you can't manage the one you have!". Now that I am a mom, I understand that it isn't always possible to get your child to do what you want them to do.

I also now understand how difficult it is to get childcare for an hour or two in the morning and how much more difficult it is if your daycare/work/home/clinic are not close to each other. I can relate to those who need to re-adjust their work schedules (both husband and wife) and how sometimes, it just isn't possible. Those are the times I am worried about. I am sure that we'll manage, but for those times where the effort to keep the child away is just too stressful/impossible, I will do my best to be as discrete as possible and maybe even mention to some of those in the waiting room that my son is a success story. Thanks again for your input.

[Anonymous]

OP - good luck to you. You strike me as someone sensitive, and I think it is nice of you to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP has an answer to the question about if it's rude to bring a toddler -- lots here have said YES! Some people won't be offended, but I think enough folks have chimed in and enough offices have "no kid" policies to establish that a healthy percentage of patients would be offended.

there you have it, well said, leave your kid at home, please,

[Anonymous]

I think those of you that answered OP "yes" need to get over it. Are you all stuck in the teenage identity crisis stage? The world does not revolve around our infertility issues and truly there are bigger problems in the world....You're all a bunch of hormonally challenged, hyper sensitive weenies.

[Anonymous]

I think those of you that answered OP "yes" need to get over it. Are you all stuck in the teenage identity crisis stage? The world does not revolve around our infertility issues and truly there are bigger problems in the world....You're all a bunch of hormonally challenged, hyper sensitive weenies.

Wow...another insightful, intelligent, thoughtful response...

"weenies", now I haven't heard that term since my "teenage identity crisis stage"



WLD

[Anonymous]

WLD, you're an idiot and a weenie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think those of you that answered OP "yes" need to get over it. Are you all stuck in the teenage identity crisis stage? The world does not revolve around our infertility issues and truly there are bigger problems in the world....You're all a bunch of hormonally challenged, hyper sensitive weenies.

really? then why does the largest fertility clinic in this area ban children from all of their offices? in the sg welcome packet and in the signs posted all over the offices it states they ask that you not bring children our of respect for the women who do not have children yet. they also do not post baby pictures all over the walls and hallways. i do believe it is a sensitive issue, and they obviously believe it too...so all of us are not just being "overly sensitive weenies". you clearly are the one who needs to get a grip, and a life apparently.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the weenie poster who is obviously an insensitive jerk, but I have to say the LARGEST fertility center in our area just has their bottom line at heart and not our feelings.

[Anonymous]

Well I must be the biggest weenie of all because it upsets me beyond reason to see any babies, and I become so infuriated that I want to rip their heads off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not the weenie poster who is obviously an insensitive jerk, but I have to say the LARGEST fertility center in our area just has their bottom line at heart and not our feelings.

Hmmmm.....Not sure I understand how the LARGEST fertility center has their bottom line at heart when they are obviously considering people's feelings by asking people not to bring children to appts.