People you’re attracted to and you don’t know why
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Anonymous
| Early in my career I had a boss who was a perfectly nice guy and a great boss, but appearance-wise was a pretty standard middle-aged married overweight dad. I’ve never been attracted to older men, much less schlubby married ones, but for reasons I still can’t figure out to this day there was a weird sexual tension between us. I would secretly be so excited when we occasionally had client on-sites where the rest of the team couldn’t make it. (These were always day trips, so it wasn’t shady.) Of course neither of us ever acted on it and I moved on to a different company and we lost touch. Since then I’ve had many older married bosses who were objectively much more attractive but I never had a crush on any of them, so I don’t think it was the power dynamic that I found sexy. And I’ve been happily married for 10 years to a guy who has nothing in common at all with old boss. I don’t think the mystery of why I found this one schlubby dad so strangely attractive will ever be solved! Anyone else ever have a weird inexplicable attraction to someone that made no sense? Did you ever pinpoint the reason why?? |
Anonymous
| It made sense because he had power and status, which attracted you despite his looks, duh. |
Anonymous
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Yes! I find weirdly attractive:
Really old tenured university professors Young Hispanic men who don’t speak English Really smart old men Black men in tailored suits Men with certain type of hands |
Anonymous
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Omg the guy from my local Dunkin Donuts. Super nice, friendly, but 1/2 my age (I’m 47) and kinda skinny dorky - not particularly attractive. I used to love seeing him every morning - Then he got transferred. I was way sadder than I should have been! Then yesterday morning bam! There he was! I was so frickin’ excited. I couldn’t wait to get my coffee this morning, and was so sad to find out he was only there temporarily.
Weird sh!t, I tell you! |
Anonymous
| Omg if men had any idea what weird sh!t women find sexually attractive, gym memberships would drop dramatically. |
Anonymous
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I think it is completely chemical. I have liked some men that are really all over the place in looks, education, drive ... But that chemical mix of what gets it started.
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Anonymous
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Because attraction transcends the physical, I guess. I've found myself attracted to men who were objectively funny-looking but who had an amazing intellect, were really funny, or who just "got me."
Sense of humor and sarcasm is a huuuuuge attractant to me. It's like glue. |
Anonymous
I don’t go to the gym for her, I go to the gym for me. |
Anonymous
You go girl! |
Anonymous
| I’m 37 and in my son’s preschool class is a little boy whose grandfather often does drop off and pick up. He’s probably in his late 50’s or 60 ish and good looking and very friendly to everyone. I haven’t seen him since school closed in late March and it’s driving me crazy. I’m clueless as to why I have this crush on him because I’ve never been attracted to older men. I would never act on it! |
Anonymous
| Same thing for me. Overweight, arrogant, gross loud-mouthed guy at my work--married to my boss--whom I found attractive. Weird. |
Anonymous
+1. It’s chemistry. I felt this way about a building inspector of all people. We were renovating, he came over to check progress it something. Middle aged, fit but otherwise completely average looking. The attraction was immediate and overwhelming, I was actually embarrassed. Same feeling everytime I saw him. |
Anonymous
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I've never really been attracted to anyone based on physical looks. I've never looked at a guy and thought "he's hot", it's always been based on personality.
However, one time in my mid-20s, I was at work and saw a guy who worked in a different department for the first time. That's the only time someone has literally taken my breath away. Everything about him - his body type, face, hair - hit me on some primal level. I can't even say it was pheromones, because we were separated by glass/wall. The feeling was mutual and we hooked up for awhile and it was sooooo good. But both of us were young and not in a good place mentally, so it fell apart as quickly as it started. |
Anonymous
| This thread is so freaking funny, thank you, I needed this today. I had very sexual dreams about john goodman when he was on roseanne, overweight, pants under gut, etc. Agree it is chemistry. |
Anonymous
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Do guys get this chemistry though?
I’m a woman and it has happened to me. Attraction to the weirdest people. |