In-laws driving from FL to RI and INSIST on seeing us on their way

[Anonymous]

My in-laws spend winters in FL and are driving home to RI this coming weekend. Normally, they stop and visit and stay (at our house) for a few days and break up the trip. Obviously, this is not OK with the pandemic, and we told them so (they tried). They responded that they will still stay at a hotel but plan to visit and hang out on our deck and have drinks. On so many levels is this completely annoying.

Everyone's approach to safety is different, but we have taken this all very seriously and I'm not OK with having 2 people who are traveling through different states, staying at hotels, eating at restaurants, stopping at gas stations etc, hang out on my deck and drink wine with our glasses, and obviously they will need to use the restroom. If they want to put themselves at risk, that's their prerogative. But do not put my family at risk and thankfully my husband agrees.

Is anyone else dealing with difficult family dynamics? My in-laws do not do well when they don't get their way.

[Anonymous]

Hmmmm.... doesn't seem that crazy to me. Sorry. Just wipe the the bathroom after they leave. Seems like a reasonable thing to to.

[Anonymous]

I don't get what you're struggling with here, OP. You literally hold all the cards. It's your house. Don't let people come over if you don't want to. If they pitch a hissy, that's on them. It's not your job to make sure they never react inappropriately to things, and their feelings aren't yours to manage.

They're trying to hand you a bag of poop. Don't take it.

[Anonymous]

Good grief. Stay inside and let your husband and your kids visit with your ILs on the deck. The "risk" of them doing so is slim to none and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get what you're struggling with here, OP. You literally hold all the cards. It's your house. Don't let people come over if you don't want to. If they pitch a hissy, that's on them. It's not your job to make sure they never react inappropriately to things, and their feelings aren't yours to manage.

They're trying to hand you a bag of poop. Don't take it.

This. Say it's not safe for them and you don't want to be responsible for them potentially catching COVID from you all. And that you will miss them so much this year.

[Anonymous]

I don't see the issue with them staying at your deck if you maintain six feet distance. They can wear a mask when they come in to use the bathroom. Have them wipe down the bathroom. I would try to find a reasonable solution to this.

[Anonymous]

Keep the bathroom window open, stipulate no hugging or touching, and the risk is really minimal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get what you're struggling with here, OP. You literally hold all the cards. It's your house. Don't let people come over if you don't want to. If they pitch a hissy, that's on them. It's not your job to make sure they never react inappropriately to things, and their feelings aren't yours to manage.

They're trying to hand you a bag of poop. Don't take it.

This. Say it's not safe for them and you don't want to be responsible for them potentially catching COVID from you all. And that you will miss them so much this year.

Op's husband has a say in this. If he wants to visit with his parents OUTSIDE in his own yard he can do it. If the kids want to play outside and visit with their grandparents they should do so.

The only one who sounds terrified is Op. She can stay inside.

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way as you, OP. Just tell them "No sorry, we're not having ANYONE over right now, as much as it breaks our hearts. We will look forward to seeing you in the future. Have a great trip."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get what you're struggling with here, OP. You literally hold all the cards. It's your house. Don't let people come over if you don't want to. If they pitch a hissy, that's on them. It's not your job to make sure they never react inappropriately to things, and their feelings aren't yours to manage.

They're trying to hand you a bag of poop. Don't take it.[/quote]

Seriously? They want to visit their own son and grandchildren - outside and from a distance. You sound completely unreasonable. Perhaps unhinged even.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a powder room that they could use? I would be concerned, but I also think that a physically distanced visit outside and limited access to your house could be a reasonable next step — if they’ve been social distancing, and if your family has as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get what you're struggling with here, OP. You literally hold all the cards. It's your house. Don't let people come over if you don't want to. If they pitch a hissy, that's on them. It's not your job to make sure they never react inappropriately to things, and their feelings aren't yours to manage.

They're trying to hand you a bag of poop. Don't take it.

This. Say it's not safe for them and you don't want to be responsible for them potentially catching COVID from you all. And that you will miss them so much this year.

Op's husband has a say in this. If he wants to visit with his parents OUTSIDE in his own yard he can do it. If the kids want to play outside and visit with their grandparents they should do so.

The only one who sounds terrified is Op. She can stay inside.

Again, I think everyone is entitled to his/her own level of comfort and what's safest for themselves and their families right now. My point of view, is that we are one unit as a family. if one of us gets COVID-19, we can all get it very easily. Thankfully, my husband agrees on this and also doesn't want them visiting right now. Problem is they don't stop pushing until they get their way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same way as you, OP. Just tell them "No sorry, we're not having ANYONE over right now, as much as it breaks our hearts. We will look forward to seeing you in the future. Have a great trip."

This is what I told my mom op. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get what you're struggling with here, OP. You literally hold all the cards. It's your house. Don't let people come over if you don't want to. If they pitch a hissy, that's on them. It's not your job to make sure they never react inappropriately to things, and their feelings aren't yours to manage.

They're trying to hand you a bag of poop. Don't take it.

This. Say it's not safe for them and you don't want to be responsible for them potentially catching COVID from you all. And that you will miss them so much this year.

Op's husband has a say in this. If he wants to visit with his parents OUTSIDE in his own yard he can do it. If the kids want to play outside and visit with their grandparents they should do so.

The only one who sounds terrified is Op. She can stay inside.

Again, I think everyone is entitled to his/her own level of comfort and what's safest for themselves and their families right now. My point of view, is that we are one unit as a family. if one of us gets COVID-19, we can all get it very easily. Thankfully, my husband agrees on this and also doesn't want them visiting right now. Problem is they don't stop pushing until they get their way.

Mom, we are not comfortable with that. I’m sorry. We will visit you when we can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get what you're struggling with here, OP. You literally hold all the cards. It's your house. Don't let people come over if you don't want to. If they pitch a hissy, that's on them. It's not your job to make sure they never react inappropriately to things, and their feelings aren't yours to manage.

They're trying to hand you a bag of poop. Don't take it.

This. Say it's not safe for them and you don't want to be responsible for them potentially catching COVID from you all. And that you will miss them so much this year.

Op's husband has a say in this. If he wants to visit with his parents OUTSIDE in his own yard he can do it. If the kids want to play outside and visit with their grandparents they should do so.

The only one who sounds terrified is Op. She can stay inside.

Again, I think everyone is entitled to his/her own level of comfort and what's safest for themselves and their families right now. My point of view, is that we are one unit as a family. if one of us gets COVID-19, we can all get it very easily. Thankfully, my husband agrees on this and also doesn't want them visiting right now. Problem is they don't stop pushing until they get their way.

Then they don’t visit. Wave at them through the window or be gone on a hike that day. They won’t break into your house. It’s a nuclear option but they have left you little choice.