What to say (if anything) to friend who keeps passing along her baby stuff I dont want

[Anonymous]

I am pregnant, FTM to be. I have a friend whose youngest is in pre-school. She is a very thrifty person by nature and loves to pass things down and get things passed down. For example, she loves her local Buy Nothing group. She is very financially secure but just LOVES a deal; for her its kind of a game to be like Look look at this awesome thing I got for nothing! I am kind of a minimalist and particular. I want what I want but I find clutter and things I dont want annoying.

Before corona and twice since, she keeps giving me random things she finds in her house that I dont want. Examples: 5-pack of Carters onesies in a color pattern I dont like, random bibs with written messages I wold never pick, a few pregnancy books, a used but washed crib mattress pad, some baby blankets.

In normal circumstances I wouldnt say anything and just drop off anything I didnt want to the Salvation Army or Green Drop but they are closed. I am getting the sense that I am her destination point as she is stuck at home cleaning out random closets and finding things to pass along. Some items might actually be items she GOT from the Buy Nothing group to give to me. How do I kindly discourage her w/o seeming like an ungrateful jerk?

[Anonymous]

I think you'l come across as ungrateful and snobby. Sorry.

I am one who loved to get hand me downs. I passed my hand me downs to others who liked getting them - I know because she put her kids in my kids old clothes.

Just take them to Salvation Army or goodwill.

[Anonymous]

most that seems pretty useful. When you are home alone with a baby who is spitting up and pooping all day it really doesn't matter what the pattern on the onesie or the words on the bib say. You can still use your expensive items in public and no one has to ever know that you used a hand me down at home.

That said if don't want her to give you stuff, just tell her. Thanks for offering your things but we have all we need or I am running out of space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you'l come across as ungrateful and snobby. Sorry.

I am one who loved to get hand me downs. I passed my hand me downs to others who liked getting them - I know because she put her kids in my kids old clothes.

Just take them to Salvation Army or goodwill.

NP here. You literally cannot take these things to a donation center right now. As OP mentioned in her post.

[Anonymous]

Find a planet whatever drop box in those parking lots and drop it off

[Anonymous]

Just tell her thanks, but I’m trying to be minimal and don’t need all these things, appreciate the thought but I’ll just have to donate anyway. And thank her again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you'l come across as ungrateful and snobby. Sorry.

I am one who loved to get hand me downs. I passed my hand me downs to others who liked getting them - I know because she put her kids in my kids old clothes.

Just take them to Salvation Army or goodwill.

Not everyone likes hand me downs. It's ok to have preferences about things, like onesie colors. Also, there's literally nowhere to donate things right now so it's just creating work for OP during an already stressful time.

OP just say you don't have space for anything else and thank her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:most that seems pretty useful. When you are home alone with a baby who is spitting up and pooping all day it really doesn't matter what the pattern on the onesie or the words on the bib say. You can still use your expensive items in public and no one has to ever know that you used a hand me down at home.

+1

I’d take the clothes and politely refuse any big or bulky items.

[Anonymous]

It is very hard to be a minimalist with babies and little kids. If you have a place to stash them away, I’d do that. I had a kid who spit up constantly and we went through bibs like crazy. Clothes that aren’t your taste are also very useful for daycare back up clothes, messy play, etc. I think you can easily turn down the big stuff, but you may find you really need the items she’s gifting. I had 3-4 mattress pads and regularly used them all between laundry days.

[Anonymous]

Thanks friend whose using me as a trash can: my house is full now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is very hard to be a minimalist with babies and little kids. If you have a place to stash them away, I’d do that. I had a kid who spit up constantly and we went through bibs like crazy. Clothes that aren’t your taste are also very useful for daycare back up clothes, messy play, etc. I think you can easily turn down the big stuff, but you may find you really need the items she’s gifting. I had 3-4 mattress pads and regularly used them all between laundry days.

+100

Isn't she precious? Minimalist. Barf. She'll learn. See ya in a few months op, humbled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you'l come across as ungrateful and snobby. Sorry.

I am one who loved to get hand me downs. I passed my hand me downs to others who liked getting them - I know because she put her kids in my kids old clothes.

Just take them to Salvation Army or goodwill.

NP here. You literally cannot take these things to a donation center right now. As OP mentioned in her post.

OP here, that is my point. In normal circumstances I would say nothing and donate anything I didnt want but the places I know are closed. And the two parking lot clothing depositories near us are gone.

Amid Corona, I want to stop the random texts of "I left some stuff outside your front door." I think I will say something next time. I get it kids are messy etc etc. But we have a lot of stuff already. I am in the 3rd trimester I have already read the pregnancy books.

[Anonymous]

Just donate it, thank her. Who cares about the pattern on clothing that goes under other clothing? Babies only wear it for a few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very hard to be a minimalist with babies and little kids. If you have a place to stash them away, I’d do that. I had a kid who spit up constantly and we went through bibs like crazy. Clothes that aren’t your taste are also very useful for daycare back up clothes, messy play, etc. I think you can easily turn down the big stuff, but you may find you really need the items she’s gifting. I had 3-4 mattress pads and regularly used them all between laundry days.

+100

Isn't she precious? Minimalist. Barf. She'll learn. See ya in a few months op, humbled.

I have no illusions that the child will be a mess, that things will be very different. But i dont have to keep things I dont want; i will acquire the things we want. Bc of Coronoa I am not being given the opportunity to decline bc she leaves stuff at my front door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a planet whatever drop box in those parking lots and drop it off

In DC a lot of them in school parking lots and supermarket car parks!