What to say (if anything) to friend who keeps passing along her baby stuff I dont want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a planet whatever drop box in those parking lots and drop it off

In DC a lot of them in school parking lots and supermarket car parks!

Or bag it all and drop off one time to a family shelter! Wear your mask and gloves or if you have a significant other, give it to them to make a one-time drop off and a donation in cash! I bet they'd take it if you call them first. Just don't drop off rubbish.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you care more about brand names than the environment. Needing everything new and being a minimalist who will do a ton of laundry over seeing the child in a pattern you don't like is just a waste of resources.

You are going to find that the majority of the world reuses and recycles and that you are going to be offered items for many years to come.

[Anonymous]

Keep them in a tote in your garage. You might be surprised how handy they turn out to be once you the baby is here and you lose control of the laundry. Let them be your backup plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you'l come across as ungrateful and snobby. Sorry.

I am one who loved to get hand me downs. I passed my hand me downs to others who liked getting them - I know because she put her kids in my kids old clothes.

Just take them to Salvation Army or goodwill.

NP here. You literally cannot take these things to a donation center right now. As OP mentioned in her post.

OP here, that is my point. In normal circumstances I would say nothing and donate anything I didnt want but the places I know are closed. And the two parking lot clothing depositories near us are gone.

Amid Corona, I want to stop the random texts of "I left some stuff outside your front door." I think I will say something next time. I get it kids are messy etc etc. But we have a lot of stuff already. I am in the 3rd trimester I have already read the pregnancy books.

Oof, unsolicited drop-off donations would be annoying even in non-covid times; now, it’s just nuts.

Tell this woman (if she actually does this again) that you’re all set for clothes and everything for now, and that you’ve run out of space for extra stuff, and like “thanks so much for thinking of me, I hope you understand!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you'l come across as ungrateful and snobby. Sorry.

I am one who loved to get hand me downs. I passed my hand me downs to others who liked getting them - I know because she put her kids in my kids old clothes.

Just take them to Salvation Army or goodwill.

Np. Goodwill etc might not be accepting clothes.

OP you might want to use the onesies as kids really go throgh clothes. Same with the bibs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a planet whatever drop box in those parking lots and drop it off

In DC a lot of them in school parking lots and supermarket car parks!

Or bag it all and drop off one time to a family shelter! Wear your mask and gloves or if you have a significant other, give it to them to make a one-time drop off and a donation in cash! I bet they'd take it if you call them first. Just don't drop off rubbish.

So OP should have to break the stay at home order, while heavily pregnant, to donate clothes she never wanted in the first place, and also pay cash for the honor of doing this?

Maybe this other lady could just, you know, not force OP to take her old clothes in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you'l come across as ungrateful and snobby. Sorry.

I am one who loved to get hand me downs. I passed my hand me downs to others who liked getting them - I know because she put her kids in my kids old clothes.

Just take them to Salvation Army or goodwill.

NP here. You literally cannot take these things to a donation center right now. As OP mentioned in her post.

OP here, that is my point. In normal circumstances I would say nothing and donate anything I didnt want but the places I know are closed. And the two parking lot clothing depositories near us are gone.

Amid Corona, I want to stop the random texts of "I left some stuff outside your front door." I think I will say something next time. I get it kids are messy etc etc. But we have a lot of stuff already. I am in the 3rd trimester I have already read the pregnancy books.

Oof, unsolicited drop-off donations would be annoying even in non-covid times; now, it’s just nuts.

Tell this woman (if she actually does this again) that you’re all set for clothes and everything for now, and that you’ve run out of space for extra stuff, and like “thanks so much for thinking of me, I hope you understand!”

That's why "call first"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a planet whatever drop box in those parking lots and drop it off

In DC a lot of them in school parking lots and supermarket car parks!

Or bag it all and drop off one time to a family shelter! Wear your mask and gloves or if you have a significant other, give it to them to make a one-time drop off and a donation in cash! I bet they'd take it if you call them first. Just don't drop off rubbish.

So OP should have to break the stay at home order, while heavily pregnant, to donate clothes she never wanted in the first place, and also pay cash for the honor of doing this?

Maybe this other lady could just, you know, not force OP to take her old clothes in the first place.

She doesn't have to donate them today, bag them and store...if she already has them in her house! I mean how did they get in her house, she either has a problem saying NO or the friend won't listen. You shouldn't throw good stuff out if they are already here...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you'l come across as ungrateful and snobby. Sorry.

I am one who loved to get hand me downs. I passed my hand me downs to others who liked getting them - I know because she put her kids in my kids old clothes.

Just take them to Salvation Army or goodwill.

NP here. You literally cannot take these things to a donation center right now. As OP mentioned in her post.

OP here, that is my point. In normal circumstances I would say nothing and donate anything I didnt want but the places I know are closed. And the two parking lot clothing depositories near us are gone.

Amid Corona, I want to stop the random texts of "I left some stuff outside your front door." I think I will say something next time. I get it kids are messy etc etc. But we have a lot of stuff already. I am in the 3rd trimester I have already read the pregnancy books.

Oof, unsolicited drop-off donations would be annoying even in non-covid times; now, it’s just nuts.

Tell this woman (if she actually does this again) that you’re all set for clothes and everything for now, and that you’ve run out of space for extra stuff, and like “thanks so much for thinking of me, I hope you understand!”

That's why "call first"

But...this woman is not calling first. She is dropping stuff off unannounced and unsolicited, as OP mentioned above.

[Anonymous]

“Thanks for all the baby gear! We are now all set with supplies and don’t need any more. Thanks again!”

If she drops off more stuff you can be more direct. “Thanks! But I already have copies of those books - please pass them along to another friend”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very hard to be a minimalist with babies and little kids. If you have a place to stash them away, I’d do that. I had a kid who spit up constantly and we went through bibs like crazy. Clothes that aren’t your taste are also very useful for daycare back up clothes, messy play, etc. I think you can easily turn down the big stuff, but you may find you really need the items she’s gifting. I had 3-4 mattress pads and regularly used them all between laundry days.

+100

Isn't she precious? Minimalist. Barf. She'll learn. See ya in a few months op, humbled.

I have no illusions that the child will be a mess, that things will be very different. But i dont have to keep things I dont want; i will acquire the things we want. Bc of Coronoa I am not being given the opportunity to decline bc she leaves stuff at my front door.

Fair enough! But we will be here to help out as you learn. I'm here already humbled by people handling teenagers and trying to learn and prepare...

[Anonymous]

"It's so nice of you to think of me! At this point, I really think I have what I need. With so many people struggling, I don't feel right taking extras and I"m sure there are other families that would really appreciate these Boob Man onesies."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very hard to be a minimalist with babies and little kids. If you have a place to stash them away, I’d do that. I had a kid who spit up constantly and we went through bibs like crazy. Clothes that aren’t your taste are also very useful for daycare back up clothes, messy play, etc. I think you can easily turn down the big stuff, but you may find you really need the items she’s gifting. I had 3-4 mattress pads and regularly used them all between laundry days.

+100

Isn't she precious? Minimalist. Barf. She'll learn. See ya in a few months op, humbled.

What? Are you for real?

I’m pregnant with my 3rd and I think OP is ahead of the game with minimal baby stuff. With my first pregnancy I accepted everyone’s hand-me downs and baby gear. With my second I got rid of at least the baby supplies. Most of it is useless - especially clothes and toys. Plus, you develop preferences - for example I would never use button up footies because they’re so impractical. I also dislike a lot of bibs for the same reason. Baby toys are a joke. The baby will ignore the plastic junk and play with a spatula. I’m getting rid of even more stuff with this 3rd pregnancy. I’m also looking forward to buying a few cute outfits for the baby. It’s nice for the new baby to have some new things.

Having less stuff also helps keep your house clean and organized. I have never met a mom who said “If only I had more clutter, that would be so helpful!”

[Anonymous]

Definitely say something along the lines of, “thanks so much for looking out for me. I’m running out of space, so please don’t get me anything else right now!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It's so nice of you to think of me! At this point, I really think I have what I need. With so many people struggling, I don't feel right taking extras and I"m sure there are other families that would really appreciate these Boob Man onesies."

+1000

She may have no idea you are not as delighted as she would be with this stuff. Thanking her very nicely and then stressing you now are overflowing with baby stuff and want to minimize acquiring more things etc. If you don't tell her you can't blame her for continuing to give you stuff. A little bit of kind honesty in a friendship is much better than always diverting.