Why is hiring a nanny so vilified?
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Anonymous
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I’ve heard several moms make nasty comments about parents who hire nannies. I’ve seen many celebrities comment that they are active parents so don’t have nannies so I’m like, who is watching your kids while you work? Travel?
It’s beyond the working parent vs. stay-at-home parent battle. A mom in our mom group made a nasty comment about “raising her own kids” so she didn’t hire a nanny. Yet her kids are in daycare for the same amount of hours my kid is with their nanny? |
Anonymous
| It isn’t. Those people sound crazy. |
Anonymous
| People are insecure and need to convince themselves they're doing what is best. Therefore what someone else is doing differently can't be best. |
Anonymous
| Because some people believe that if you choose to have children that it is then your responsibility to stay home and take care of them because it is the best thing for a child. If "breast is best" then it can be argued that having a mother, not a nanny or daycare, is the best care for a child. |
Anonymous
Our nanny breastfeeds our kid so win/win |
Anonymous
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I hear you, OP. I run into this as well. We have a nanny to watch our kids while we work-it’s just an alternative to daycare. Yet people seem to assume that she’s around and helping us 24/7, instead of literally the exact same hours a daycare would cover. I don’t know why people make this assumption.
I live outside DC and nannies are uncommon in my city, especially full time professional nannies for long term relationships with the same family. Sometimes nanny here means more like a sporadic babysitter. |
Anonymous
| This is weird to me, I've never ever heard a comment like this from a day care parent. I have kids in day care and have heard the "raising my own kids" line only from stay at home moms. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| I’ve never heard this before. I live in an Andrea where a lot of people have nannies. Most people love their nannies, and most of the nannies I know love the kids too and stay with the family for many years. |
Anonymous
| I have never heard this about nannies specifically. Maybe its a jab at working mothers but I don't think it matters if it's day care or a nanny. If you are being "vilified" by your friends you may need a better social circle. |
Anonymous
Same |
Anonymous
| Motherhood: no matter how you’re doing it, you’re doing it wrong. |
Anonymous
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I personally believe strongly that the best possible childcare arrangement for infants and toddlers is a parent home with them. Second I would put a loving relative caring for them. Third I would put a nanny, because there's a chance a nanny will bond with the child to the degree that they love the child almost like they were related. Despite what some WOHM think I don't believe there's much chance of that in a daycare situation.
I'd also say people disparage having a nanny because it costs so much and the average person does not have that as an option, so it seems very elitist to some. |
Anonymous
A random comment from a random mom means absolutely NOTHING. Stop trolling and making a mountain out of a molehill. |
Anonymous
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Daycare parents feel threatened and judged. All mothers on this forum seem to feel threatened and judged. Whatever they have chosen to do absolutely must be correct and the only way to be correct.
Hence, if you chose daycare then daycare has to be the best and only childcare. |