I think celebrities do it because they may be some whose children are really only taken care of by the nannies and they want to share that they are involved. Of course, they probably do have nannies but, maybe it isn't 24-7. Just live your life! |
Yes although these effects are not large and diminish over time. Being a SAP is costly in the long term especially depending on the sector you work in and your education, and some people are not cut out for being SAPs. I really respect those who can do it but I cannot. My mother was a better mother when she started WOH and wasn't angry and depressed all of the time. She herself encouraged me to keep DD in daycare and not risk my career. |
Or maybe this generation of mothers is subject to judgment from others to a “shocking” degree. |
Yup, agree with immediate PP. |
You are generalizing about what makes children (and families) happiest. |
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Wow. |
I was pretty sure when the first PP said nannies were 'replacing the role of mother' that she'd then say she preferred daycare for that reason. Doesn't sound like a positive to me. |
No. Not secret. And not a position Just a fact. Here is a huge meta-analysis published a few years ago by the American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/bul-136-6-915.pdf |
From this article: "Taken together, the results of these analyses suggest that maternal employment early in a child’s life is not commonly associated with decreases in later achievement or increases in behavior problems. The associations between achievement and behavior problems and maternal employment are predominately nonsignificant, small even when significant, both positive and negative in direction, and moderated by both family and contextual variables." In other words, ignore the fools on DCUM and do what works for you. |
When I was younger I had never been around nannies. All I knew about them was really from the experience of one friend I had in college who was raised by nannies. Her parents were gone 12 hours a day and were the kind who would pop in for a kiss and a story in the morning or evening. She barely knew her parents. She was in therapy to deal with her feelings of rejection and abandonment.
Thankfully after she and her sister outgrew the nanny, their next door neighbor stepped in and she spent most of her time there. So she had both her nanny and the couple next door as solid supportive adults in her life. She is still in contact with all 3 of them and considered them her family. I think in her case, her parents just really did see raising kids as something to be outsourced. I guess they weren't maternal / paternal by nature and never really bonded with their kids. Later I met other people with nannies and it was nothing like that. The parents rushed home form work and were with their kids for a few hours ever night. They were with their kids on weekends. It was much more of a sharing of the raising of the kids and the kids still had very involved parents. The nanny was just there the 8-9 hours a day when the parents were working and that was it. |
NP here. More “shocking” than our mothers who were the first generation en masse to pursue careers during motherhood?! Doubtful, PP. |
There you go being literate again. |
Not associated with decreases in achievement or increases in behavior problems. These are significant but my goals for my kids included a lot more than that. You, or perhaps others, sometimes cite scientific evidence that daycare is not bad for children, you may be the poster who also claims daycare is actually good for children. I see the issue quite differently, after having raised two kids well into adulthood, having worked as a daycare provider for a few years when my kids were young, and also worked for many years with children, now. It seems that you are very defensive about this which tells me perhaps you are not that sure of your position. Calling others fools for not agreeing with you makes me more sure of that. |
Ok, but does the study address whatever those goals are and come to the conclusion there is a significant difference in the chance of achieving those goals with daycare v. nanny? If not, how is that relevant? It also seems odd that you are criticizing a PP for citing to scientific studies and you respond you know better based on your experience raising kids and working for a few years in a daycare. Assuming there are good studies saying daycare is at worst neutral and at best better (and I don't know if there are), why would your anectdata be better than peer reviewed studies? Pointing out logical flaws in your thinking and arguments doesn't strike me as someone being defensive. And to the extent you determine that PP is unsure of her position because she is engaging on the issue, why shouldn't the same be said about you? If you were so confident in your decision, why are you engaging here? (I don't buy the argument that engaging/debating here shows anyone is insecure in their views, but if that is true for PP it should be equally true for you.) |