Step Parents and Spending

[Anonymous]

My dad and mom had me and my little brother. They were an extremely happy couple from what I remember. My mother died of cancer when I was 8 and my brother was 6 . My dad was extremely depressed for several years but met "Susan" when I was 10. They fell in love and married when I was 12. They had a son when I was 14. Susan never worked outside the home again. That was 25 years ago. My father passed away four years ago.

I just learned this weekend that Susan has been gifting my half brother $11,000 annually since my dad's death as well as paying his cell phone bill and purchasing his car (a 30k 2017 Subaru). My brother and I haven't seen a dime.

I honestly have no complaints against my step mother or half brother and see them regularly, but this just.... pisses me off incredibly. It's my dad's money and she's not sharing it with me and my brother. My half brother is a full grown adult not needing any assistance at all and has a cushy job with the USDA.

That's wrong, right?

I feel like I'm being stolen from.

[Anonymous]

This is your dads fault. He should have specified what to leave you in his will. Better yet have a life insurance policy for each kid. Let that be a lesson.

[Anonymous]

It is crappy and she has told you where you stand. You are not family. Move on and get a better job.

[Anonymous]

Its not fair but its why everyone should have a will.

[Anonymous]

Sucks but unless your father passed away suddenly he should have made provisions for his first set of kids. Anyway you now know where you stand.

[Anonymous]

OP here

To be clear- my father had a detailed will. All three of us received approximately 250k each. I have no idea what the the remaining balance of my dad's estate was after that.

It could have been a few million or a few hundred thousand. Whatever it was was left to my step mother along with the house. That's another 800k there that will undoubtedly go to my half brother.



The money she's giving him comes from her share of the will.

[Anonymous]

It isn't your father's money, he's dead and has been for quite some time. Dead people don't have money, or stuff. You aren't being stolen from, you just aren't being subsidized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It isn't your father's money, he's dead and has been for quite some time. Dead people don't have money, or stuff. You aren't being stolen from, you just aren't being subsidized.

It IS her dad's money. The SM never worked a day in her life. If it weren't for her da's money Susan would be on the street!

OP- I am sorry. This is terribly cruel. There isn't much to be done than wash your hands of her and move on. she sounds like a horrible woman.

[Anonymous]

If your dad included you in his will then there's not much to say. He made a choice to leave the bulk of his assets to his wife. I would be upset too but Stepmom is obviously going to favor her biological child over her stepkids.
This is what Steve Jobs first daughter must feel like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here

To be clear- my father had a detailed will. All three of us received approximately 250k each. I have no idea what the the remaining balance of my dad's estate was after that.

It could have been a few million or a few hundred thousand. Whatever it was was left to my step mother along with the house. That's another 800k there that will undoubtedly go to my half brother.



The money she's giving him comes from her share of the will.

Be grateful you got something. Thats a lot of money. I don't get what you are complaining about. She is not your mom and making it clear. Back off, stop treating her like family and let her son take care of her as needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It isn't your father's money, he's dead and has been for quite some time. Dead people don't have money, or stuff. You aren't being stolen from, you just aren't being subsidized.

It IS her dad's money. The SM never worked a day in her life. If it weren't for her da's money Susan would be on the street!

OP- I am sorry. This is terribly cruel. There isn't much to be done than wash your hands of her and move on. she sounds like a horrible woman.

The father could have made his will differently and chose not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your dad included you in his will then there's not much to say. He made a choice to leave the bulk of his assets to his wife. I would be upset too but Stepmom is obviously going to favor her biological child over her stepkids.
This is what Steve Jobs first daughter must feel like.

Steve Jobs never really took care of his daughter from the start. Very different situation. Sounds like stepmom and Dad were married 25+ years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

To be clear- my father had a detailed will. All three of us received approximately 250k each. I have no idea what the the remaining balance of my dad's estate was after that.

It could have been a few million or a few hundred thousand. Whatever it was was left to my step mother along with the house. That's another 800k there that will undoubtedly go to my half brother.



The money she's giving him comes from her share of the will.

Be grateful you got something. Thats a lot of money. I don't get what you are complaining about. She is not your mom and making it clear. Back off, stop treating her like family and let her son take care of her as needed.

Yeah, I was all set to be sympathetic until I read that OP got more assets than most Americans will see in their lifetimes. I'm in a similar situation and expect to see absolutely zero compared to half/step sibs, who have already gotten a lot over the years while I got zero.

[Anonymous]

If it comes from her share of the will, I don't think you can/should complain. The decision was your dad's to leave each of you a certain amount. Your brothers and step-mother wouldn't have the right to complain about how you spend your 250k inheritance.

It's easy to let this eat at you, but I think you have to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here

To be clear- my father had a detailed will. All three of us received approximately 250k each. I have no idea what the the remaining balance of my dad's estate was after that.

It could have been a few million or a few hundred thousand. Whatever it was was left to my step mother along with the house. That's another 800k there that will undoubtedly go to my half brother.



The money she's giving him comes from her share of the will.

Omg, are you kidding?!! You received $250k!! Mind your own business and stop being so selfish. Grow up.