Step Parents and Spending
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Anonymous
This just sucks so much. You thought you were a family and you’re finding out you’re not. When dad died each of the 3 kids got 250K and it seems like stepmom got the other half of the estate. If stepmom leaves everything to her biological child that means that the half brother inherits over 70% of the parents wealth while OP and her brother get the rest. I can see why OP is upset going through the charade of being a family if stepmom has no intention of treating her as such. This would really sting. The thing is, this really sucks for your half brother too. If your stepmom succeeds in driving a wedge between the siblings, then he ends up alone with no family. She seems so short sighted (and like a terrible person.) I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. |
Anonymous
I don't know why you think that. Stepmom will likely spend her money before she dies, being old is expensive, even more so if you are old and sick. |
Anonymous
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Here's another perspective ...
I am surmising that the stepmom was a SAHM because she essentially took over raising the OP and her brother (who were still children) and then gave birth to a half-sibling two years later. Raising someone else's children is never an easy job and is rarely appreciated. It is especially difficult when it is the mother who has died and another woman comes into the family. Immediately, most people's thoughts are "evil stepmother" which couldn't be further from the truth in many cases. The fact the OP says she gets along with her stepmom is an indicator that this woman probably did the best she could in caring for two children who had lost their mother. Evidenced because it sounds like the OP and her brother are both living successful lives. I am probably sure that the OP's father had many heart-to-heart conversations with stepmom about the challenges of being part of a "blended" family. I am also probably sure that as a show of his love and gratitude towards her for 25 years of life together, he wanted SM to live a future life without worry once he was gone. C'mon... she was not some gold-digger who swooped in during the final stages of his life with her claws out for a bag full of cash. OP doesn't say whether her father was ill for a long time. Did SM care for him during illnesses? So for 25 years she raised two children who were not hers, gave new life to a grieving widower and gave him another son, and watched the love of her life pass away. Try to put a price tag on that. How much is YOUR life worth - would you do the same? |
Anonymous
| SM here. Difference is I work, but DH had two kids that I raised and we had a kid. 1/3 of half goes to each kid and half goes to my bio kid. I’ve been upfront with DH that is what I’ll do if he dies before me. I’m not penalizing my kid for having me as a mom. |
Anonymous
| How much money would your stepmother have been able to earn? What about her own social security and retirement account? Instead she raised you and your brother to adulthood, along with her own child. Decades of lost income to be a stay at home wife and mother should be worth something. |
Anonymous
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What really hurts is that OP probably felt like to stepmom loved her and her brother as much as the bio kid but it’s obvious now that she does not.
It would definitely hurt me too OP. Just know that parents also pull crap like this with full sibs/bio parents too. |
Anonymous
Why would your child be penalized if he got 1/3 of the total, ie an equivalent share to the other two? I don’t get it. |
Anonymous
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Op, did your dad help you out when you are in college / 20s?
Your brother lost his dad when he was in college. That can be a loss that makes it hard to get back on your feet at that age. You have no idea how much was left to your SM. You don't know if she also got $250K or more. She could just have invested hers and to be spending it to help your brother after having seen how much your dad helped you financially in your 20s. |
Anonymous
Wouldn’t the stepkids also inherit from their biomom? If so I can see how SM dividing her family’s estate equally would penalize her kid. |
Anonymous
| It’s totally wrong, but is often what happens when a man remarries. He trusts the second wife to provide for his kids, but doesn’t actually make a plan for it. So, he died and left everything to her. She will leave you nothing. It’s so common. I’m sorry. |
Anonymous
Estate should be cut in half. Dad's share should be split into 1/3 upon wife's death as she should inherit. Her estate/only her money should 100% go to her child. DH children also have a mom whom they can inherit from. |
Anonymous
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Happy people are happy because they are grateful for what they have, they don't focus on what they don't have.
It's her money and she's spending it how she wants. You aren't entitled to any of it. Your dad left his money, apparently, how he wanted. |
Anonymous
OP doesn’t have a mom, but that may be the case in some families. But why should estates be cut in half? I think most people cut it into even portions for heirs. Still don’t get it. |
Anonymous
OP's mom DIED. There is no more money from her mom. Different situation and heartbreaking to find out her surrogate Mom is favoring her bio kid. |
Anonymous
| Hey Dad, let no good deed go unpunished! You gave your kid $250,000 and now he/she is bitching. In your second life make sure you spend everything and leave nothing. Problem solved! |