Neighbor girl comes over everyday to play, every day

[Anonymous]

I have 2 girls, 6 and 9. Little girl next door is 6. She is literally over at my house everyday. Her parents don't ask. Girl just comes over as soon as my kids get off the bus (she goes to private school and is home before my kids). Sometimes I'll tell her my kids need some time to eat a snack and maybe they can play later. The girl will then just sit on my front porch and wait till snack time is over so she can come in my house. Parents never come over to take her home. This has been going on for almost a year. I've definitely mentioned to the girl that we can't have play dates everyday. Doesn't help. I occasionally tell her no when she comes to the door. She then starts crying and will just stand on my front porch and she'll eventually leave. A year ago, I mentioned to the mom that I don't like play dates everyday and I was struggling to find a balance between play dates and down time or family time. She really didn't have a response at the time. I didn't want to strictly set rules like only certain days a week at certain times. I guess I just wish that the parents would step up and limit the time she comes over to my house. She's kinda like an only child. She has a 16 year old sister that lives at home. She's not a bad kid but I want my girls to have their own time together. To continue to bond as sisters. I want family time. It's to the point that I'm constantly looking out the window to see if their car is home because I know it means she'll be knocking on my door soon.

My girls rarely go to their house. Maybe a couple times a month. I asked my girls what they do at the girls house. They told me the parents usually tell them to play outside. My girls are energetic so I understand ?

I'm thinking about telling the girl that we can only play 2 days a week. Any random 2 days a week. They can be different days each week. Is this a fair idea? I don't know why this is so complicated for me. I just believe that you shouldn't do anything excessively and this is excessive.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't commit to days. I would tell her "They can't play today, go home Larla."

[Anonymous]

You need to talk to the parents, it might take more than one time. It is their responsibility to communicate to her that she is not to come over everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to the parents, it might take more than one time. It is their responsibility to communicate to her that she is not to come over everyday.

This. Probably the sister is watching her after school and sending her over. She's lonely and needs someone to care for her. Be firm with the parents and tell them that you need a 24 hour notice and no more than 1-2 times a week except in an emergency. Your kids have home, activities and need family time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to the parents, it might take more than one time. It is their responsibility to communicate to her that she is not to come over everyday.

This. Probably the sister is watching her after school and sending her over. She's lonely and needs someone to care for her. Be firm with the parents and tell them that you need a 24 hour notice and no more than 1-2 times a week except in an emergency. Your kids have home, activities and need family time.

24 hour notice? She shouldn't be going every day but 24 hour notice? Come on now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't commit to days. I would tell her "They can't play today, go home Larla."

This. And if she stands there crying, call the parents and tell them to come get her. Every.single.time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't commit to days. I would tell her "They can't play today, go home Larla."

This. And if she stands there crying, call the parents and tell them to come get her. Every.single.time.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't commit to days. I would tell her "They can't play today, go home Larla."

This. And if she stands there crying, call the parents and tell them to come get her. Every.single.time.

Walk her home if she cries or sits on the porch. She probably isn't wanted at home.

[Anonymous]

OMG...this post breaks my heart. I feel so sorry for the little girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG...this post breaks my heart. I feel so sorry for the little girl.

Invite her.

Heck, offer to adopt her.

[Anonymous]

We have a neighbor girl that cane over every day at that age. She’s 9 now and it is much less frequent. If it wasn’t convenient I would just say in a very friendly voice “it’s nkt a good time now so you’ll have to go home. But we’ll see you again another day! Some kids take longer to learn those social rules.
I really would not discourage it that much. There will come a day when you might be thrilled to have that kind of easy relationship. Girls relationships get tough starting around 3rd/4th grade and a neighbor that goes to a different school can be so helpful. I also don’t see why having the girl over is going to decrease the bonding between your own girls, but maybe I’m just obtuse on that one.

I would try to get to know the parents better, though. On our street, all the adults know each other pretty well and we’re all borrowing bandaids and sugar and such. I would also be concerned about the crying on your stoop. That’s the only part of your post that strikes me as off.

[Anonymous]

Is she possibly hungry or abused? This is strange behavior. I’m more concerned about her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she possibly hungry or abused? This is strange behavior. I’m more concerned about her.

Maybe a call to social services?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't commit to days. I would tell her "They can't play today, go home Larla."

+1.

[Anonymous]

She sounds lonely or free range. Do your kids like playing with her? Let them play and send her home after an hour or so. I would welcome the time my kids are busy and not hanging on me. Maybe you could get to know the girl better and see what's going on in her life and make her feel welcome instead of pushing her away.